Labeling Emotions for Children

By: Margie Frisco, MA, LPC, CATP, CFTP

Have you ever tried labeling emotions for children? Once you have learned what emotions feel like in you, you can begin to say what you are feeling. The ideal way to label emotions with children is to label them before they get too big. Again, this requires some reflection from the parent.

Practice listening to your emotions. Do you know where the line is before emotions get too out of hand? What I mean here is, do you know when an emotion starts to get so big that you lose rational thoughts? For instance, the size of an emotion is different when you compare dropping a plate on the floor and spilling food versus someone hurting your child.

This is a human response to react with a different size emotion for each situation. Another way to look at it is to imagine you telling your child to put up their toys or do their homework.  The first time you ask might be calm.  Then, after the 10th time of asking, you might feel the emotion more intensely, understandable.

The trick here is to recognize when, for you, it gets to a point where I cannot ask nicely anymore. Before you get to that point, state to your child, “I am starting to feel (insert emotion here), because I need the laundryLabeling emotions is a fancy way to say that parents must tell their children what emotions they are feeling.  This is very helpful for children.  It helps them learn what emotions are and how to recognize them.

This seems simple enough. But when in action, it can be challenging. Fellow parent here. It is hard to remember when you are flooded with emotion to tell your child, “I am big mad” or “Mommy is feeling sad” when you cry. Read more to learn how to remember to label emotions, when to label emotions and the benefits.

Labeling Emotions For Children: How To

Labeling emotions for children is saying what you are feeling at the moment. The problem with this is that many humans have a hard time with rational thought when we are experiencing big feelings. For example, some people are used to pushing their emotions away.  Others might be more accustomed to lean into the emotion and make it bigger than needed.

Part of parenting is looking at how you feel emotions.  Do you push past it and eventually explode? Do you allow yourself a moment to breathe and keep going? Do you feel that frustration and yell?  What do you do when you feel big feelings? Is it as task or list to be put away or the homework to be done?

You must communicate that you are upset with the event, not that the child is wrong or bad. Children must learn about emotions because they are not born with the ability to know what emotions are.  However, they must also be taught that they are loved and not a problem.

Benefits of Labeling Emotions For Children

Labeling emotions can help children learn that they are not the problem and learn about emotions. Again, children must be taught emotions. They feel them, but sometimes, they cannot communicate or know what is happening.

Helping them learn that emotions are “normal” can help a child not feel alone. Many times, children struggle in silence. They might think they only feel these things. They might even feel, “What is wrong with me?” Labeling emotions can help validate kids in knowing that others sometimes feel the same way. Humans thrive on connection and not feeling alone.

Furthermore, when parents label emotions correctly, they can teach children that they sometimes can make others feel feelings, but they are not a problem. Again, all humans thrive on feeling included. If a child feels they are a “problem,” you might see their behaviors escalate. Helping them understand they are in control of their actions and that their actions might need changing, but they are accepted as they are, is vital in assisting children in growing confident in themselves.

Conclusions

Labeling emotions for children can be extremely challenging when you are parenting. Helping yourself reflect on your own feelings can be helpful. Allowing yourself to feel emotions and express what they are can help your child learn how to recognize emotions, too. Call today to learn more about labeling emotions when parenting!

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