Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch
My WordPress Blog
By: M. Katherine Lickteig, MA, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S What is resilience in children? Resilience in children is the ability to bounce back from stressors in life such as everyday stress, adversity, failure, life challenges, or even trauma. Unfortunately, kids are not born with resiliency. Most children come equipped with the […]
What is resilience in children? Resilience in children is the ability to bounce back from
stressors in life such as everyday stress, adversity, failure, life challenges, or even trauma. Unfortunately, kids are not born with resiliency. Most children come equipped with the ability to work through challenges. However, it’s a skill that children develop this skill as they grow.
Why should parents want to develop resilience in their children? Resilient kids have the confidence to take healthy risks. These kids don’t have a fear of falling short of expectations. Resilient kids tend to be curious and brave. Children who develop resiliency develop the ability to trust their instincts. Emotionally healthy people show knowledge of their limits. Children will also push themselves to step outside of their comfort zones. Resiliency helps children to reach their long-term goals. They have to confidence to solve their problems independently.
Despite our best efforts, parents can’t protect kids from everything. Kids are going to encounter stress as they grow. Kids may get sick, move to a new neighborhood, they may face bullies and cyberbullies, will have to take tests, may have to cope with grief, lose friends, or even deal with divorce. These are just a few things that kids may experience. In comparison, these things might seem small in our eyes. But, unfortunately, they can feel huge to children.
Resilience gives kids the ability to navigate stressful situations. When kids have the confidence to work through faith to confront complex issues, when children are allowed to bounce back on their own instead of parents stepping to solve their problems, children will internalize the message that they are strong and capable. When they have developed resiliency, they will develop the confidence to lead a successful life. their problems, they gain the
Parents can help kids build resilience by teaching them to solve problems independently. As parents, we are inclined to jump in so that our child does not experience any discomfort. Unfortunately, when we do this, we destroy our children’s self-confidence. We need our kids to experience hardships to gain the confidence to work through their problems. If we do not allow children to develop this skill set, they will experience anxiety and shut down any time they come upon adversity. Here are some ways that parents can help to foster a strong sense of resiliency in their children.
Parents need to spend one-on-one time with their kids: This helps children develop coping skills within caring relationships. In addition, positive connections give you the ability to model coping and problem-solving skills to your children.
Encouraging your children to take healthy risks is extremely important. Healthy risks encourage a child to go outside of their comfort zone but have very little danger if they are unsuccessful. We have to realize that when kids avoid risk, they internalize that they are not strong enough to handle any threats.
Children often come to their parents to solve their problems, and our natural response is to lecture or explain. A better strategy may be to ask the child questions. We can help children by bouncing the problem back to the child, allowing them the opportunity to solve their problems.
When we help our children learn how to brainstorm solutions, parents engage the child in the process of solving problems. Problem-solving will help children develop a list of ideas and then allow them to weigh the pros and cons of each one.
Teach your kids that feelings are important, and when they can label their feelings, it will help them make sense of what they’re experiencing. For example, children need to know it’s okay to feel anxious, sad, jealous, etc., and reassure them that bad feelings usually pass.
Deep breathing exercises help kids relax and calm themselves when they experience stress or frustration. In addition, coping skills enable them to remain calm and process the situation.
Remember that children who avoid failure tend to lack resilience. Children who avoid failure tend to be very anxious. Try not to focus on the outcome because this will force kids into the pass/fail cycle. If you focus on the result instead of the process, children will avoid taking risks. Making mistakes puts children in a growth mindset. This mindset sends the message to kids that mistakes help them learn.
If we want our children to be resilient, we must teach them to be resilient. One great way to teach resiliency is to model it for our children. Life is full of stressful situations. We often use coping and calming strategies. When adults are going through this, it is helpful to our children to label our emotions. We need to show them how to solve problems by talking through how we solve them.
Exercise helps strengthen our brains, and when our brains are supported, it makes them more resilient to stress and adversity. There are many great ways for kids to get exercise, such as. Team sports organized playgroups, but ever underestimate the power of simply allowing your child to free play. Free play builds your child’s creativity and builds resilience.
So why is resilience an essential skill for children to learn? First, parents need to remember that resilience is a skill that helps kids navigate the obstacles they encounter as they grow. In comparison, it is not possible to avoid stress in life. So, teaching our children to be resilient is one of the best ways to teach them to cope with it.
If you would like more help with parenting strategies or building your relationship with your kid(s), one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, Texas, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Margie Frisco MA, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton MA, LPC-S Is it hard to motivate your kid(s)? Sometimes, it can be hard to get your child to do what you ask them to do. For example, how often do we have to say pick up your stuff or do your homework? It […]
Is it hard to motivate your kid(s)? Sometimes, it can be hard to
get your child to do what you ask them to do. For example, how often do we have to say pick up your stuff or do your homework? It can even feel like a tug of war! It can even be done without yelling, arguing, or feeling like something failed. What if I told you some new ways you can try to motivate your kids? Below are some helpful tips.
Knowing how to motivate your child can be easy and hard for others. Maybe the child doesn’t know what they want. Or it can feel like anything you do as a parent does not make it any easier.
Creating a space where the child can explore what they like can be helpful. Creating such a space can help spark curiosity and play. Many child therapists would agree that freedom can be therapeutic for kids. This type of expression lets them feel free.
What motivates some kids might be harder to find when your child knows why they might participate more easily. The “why” is the result you are looking for. Children are more willing to join if they get a say in it, depending on their age.
For example, if you have a picky eater, have them help pack the lunch. I realize that if we allow children to pack their lunch, it could be filled with candy and junk food. What I mean by help is to put the sandwich together or have them draw a fun drawing on the bag of carrots.
Keep in mind that we want to limit this. As we learn and grow, we find out not everything has a reward. Limiting rewards helps children understand this concept.
Keep in mind that different ages are capable of other tasks. Please make sure the reward and what we are motivating are age-appropriate.
You can ensure the reward is appropriate by allowing the child to choose their prize themselves. Openly ask your child: “What do you want to work towards?” This sentence will enable your child to work towards making them happy versus avoiding punishment.
They can work towards the goal or reward by doing what you want them to do. A chore chart or a goal tracker can help you organize and follow their progress.
Many times as parents, we have high expectations for our children. We want them to do better or have better than what we had. Completely understandable. But we want to keep in mind what is realistic for their age.
For instance, kids between the ages of 3 to 6 tend to want to do adult things. These children might want to wear mom or dad’s
shoes or go to work. They are learning how to become more independent while making you happy.
Whereas children who are 6 to 12 are trying to understand the concepts of others. Specifically, they are beginning to understand how their actions can impact others. For example, elementary school-age children are at the age where they are trying to understand how they hurt a friend’s feelings.
If you would like more help with parenting strategies or building your relationship with your kid(s), one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, Texas, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Do you have a child that struggles with separation anxiety? Do you have a partner that is out of town frequently? Are you planning to be away from your child for some time? Are you not sure how to prepare them for the […]
By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC AssociateDo you have a child that struggles with separation anxiety? Do you have a partner that is out of town frequently? Are you planning to be away from your child for some time? Are you not sure how to prepare them for the separation? Whether you are in a military family, where separation is frequent, or travel for work, this blog can help you navigate the stress of separation. Separation anxiety is normal for young children. We are hard-wired to depend on attachment figures for survival. Separation anxiety can look like excessive fear or worry that the attachment figure may not return or feel anxious or afraid that an unexpected adverse event may happen. A child may cling to their parents excessively, refuse to go to sleep without the attachment figure, and can experience physical symptoms such as headaches, vomiting, and nausea.
If you are traveling for work, change how you define the event. Instead of looking at a time away as an adverse event, for example, saying, “My work is making me go out of town,” changing it to “I get to help others, learn a new skill, solve a hard problem, etc.” Talk to your child about the meaning behind your work if you are going on a work trip. You can learn more with your child about the food, culture, or what kids like to do for fun in that location, and even find videos online to watch together.
There are many fun ways to countdown the days for the parent’s return. You could make a DIY count-down calendar until the day the parents return or make a collage of the places they have traveled, even have a candy jar for the days they are gone, and eat one a day until the reunion.
You can get more ideas here.
Make a routine for when you will talk to your child while away and keep it consistent. Creating structure adds a degree of predictability for your child and allows them to know what to expect. Many apps for traveling parents can ease separation anxiety and help share pictures and updates.
There are many different books available with a recording option. That way, they can read it while you’re away with your voice, or you can make a video of you cooking or making their favorite dish together. The idea is something that they can replay that can help them feel connected to you.
Practice breathing exercises with your child together. Depending on your child’s age, you can practice blowing bubbles, having the child pretend to blow out candles on their fingertips, or practice deep breathing by breathing in through the nose, holding 3 seconds, and breathing out through the mouth for 3 seconds.
If you are ready to help your child find ways to cope with separation anxiety, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide individual and family counseling and other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, Counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Rachel Fowler, MS, LPC Children find it hard to understand their thoughts, behaviors, and feelings, and many children struggle with negative thinking patterns and thinking errors. Especially when their views are harmful, those negative thinking patterns are called cognitive distortions or thinking errors. We call them thinking errors when working with children about negative […]
Children find it hard to understand their thoughts, behaviors, and feelings, and m
any children struggle with negative thinking patterns and thinking errors. Especially when their views are harmful, those negative thinking patterns are called cognitive distortions or thinking errors. We call them thinking errors when working with children about negative thinking patterns. Over time, thinking errors are thoughts that reinforce negative feelings and unwanted behaviors. Children need time to learn, recognize and challenge thinking errors to improve their mental health and well-being.
Helping children identify how harmful negative thoughts can be. When working with children, one of my favorite statements is letting them know that our brain is not always our friend. Our thoughts can get stuck in a negative cycle, causing our feelings and behaviors to join. One way to help break the negative cycle is by disrupting the connection.
All of our feelings are valid, but this does not mean they are facts. A negative feeling will cause or strengthen a negative thought. For example, a child can feel like a bad friend, but that does not make them a bad friend. Another example is if a child gets in trouble at home, they could feel upset but tell themselves they are a “bad daughter” or “bad son”. In both of these scenarios, the child reinforces negative feelings with a negative thought.
The average person does not have the magical power of reading minds. That does not stop individuals, especially children, from assuming what someone else is thinking. For example, students might not ask to borrow a pencil because they believe the teacher will get mad at them. A second example is a child will lie because they assume the parent will yell at them if they know the truth. In both scenarios, the child feels like they know what the other person will do or say. Therefore, causing the child to have harmful or unwanted behavior.
Children associate their actions with who they are. For example: If a child makes a mistake, they will tell themselves, “I am dumb” or “I am useless.” Another example is if the child misses a goal during a game, they would tell themselves, “I am horrible” or “I am worthless.” In both of these scenarios, the child reinforces a negative outlook on themselves.
Counseling for children can support and enhance the child’s ability to recognize and challenge these negative thinking patterns at a young age. Through counseling, a child can begin to understand the amount of power their thoughts have over their behaviors and feelings. Education and positive change can improve the child’s mental health and overall well-being.
Have you noticed your child struggling with negative thinking patterns or thinking errors? If you feel like your child could benefit from counseling and change their negative thinking pattern, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide mental health counseling, as well as other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Margie Frisco, MA Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Autism can be hard to see in children, even though there can be many early signs. The mental health community does not always agree on what causes autism. But many can agree on some early signs of autism. Below are some signs indicating autism. Keep […]
By: Margie Frisco, MA
Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S
Autism can be hard to see in children, even though there can be many early signs. The mental health community does not always agree on what causes autism. But many can agree on some early signs of autism. Below are some signs indicating autism. Keep in mind that every child might present with different symptoms. It is significant to note that autism can look vastly different from boys to girls, which is why a professional evaluation might be most beneficial.
Delayed milestones depend on the age of the child. For example, young children under the age of one to roughly two years old might be able to say a sentence or at least have some key phrases to communicate. Some children with autism do not speak or have a minimal vocabulary during this time. Other contributors to consider, specifically for language development, would be if multiple languages are being used within the household if the child has older siblings that might communicate for them or any hearing difficulties. These could explain the speech delay as well.
Many children with autism might struggle with interactions with kids their age. Some signs could be when the child lacks eye contact, difficulty understanding their friend’s feelings, understanding nonverbal behaviors, difficulty responding/starting a conversation, lack of interest in making friends or keeping them, and difficulty reacting to those emotions. For example, if a friend is crying, a child with autism might laugh or become irritated by the other child. Again, some children might not want to interact with others not because of autism, but maybe they have not developed their communication skills or have not found people they can relate to consistently.
Many children with autism demonstrate a calm nature when they can complete repetitive actions. For example, you may see them rocking or keeping a strict schedule/routine. Another way some children show this is by being interested in or fixating on a specific character, topic, or toy. Some examples would be linking logs, knowing a comic character inside and out, or extensive knowledge about insects. This section can be tricky to separate “typical” child behavior from that of an individual with autism. Many children respond better to structure. The main difference here is that an individual with autism might not adapt to changes. For example, if a child always brings their lunch to school but forgets the lunch at home, the child with autism might refuse to eat a school lunch to adapt because that is not their packed lunch from home.
Keep in mind that many of the signs above might sound like many children would qualify for a diagnosis of autism. There are some factors to think about when autism is a concern. The symptoms would be recognizable in childhood. Also, the signs must impact daily living. This means that the signs make the child’s life significantly more challenging. The diagnosis would be further explained by the severity level and how the signs impact their life.
The key takeaway from this section is that many children can have tendencies resembling autism. Furthermore, an intellectual disability or developmental delay cannot explain the signs better. There can be co-existing autism diagnosis with some other disorders. The most important thing to do is if you feel that autism could be a concern for your child, get them evaluated. Most school districts or mental health providers can perform an evaluation. I would recommend finding someone that specializes in screening for autism.
If you are ready to improve your parenting skills, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin parenting counseling in Katy, TX you can follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!