Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch
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By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC Associate Do you find yourself arguing over money, communication, who will do the chores, jealousy, or how to spend each other’s free time? If so, you are not alone. All happy couples argue about something. However, the key is to develop skills needed to manage conflict effectively. How happy you […]
Do you find yourself arguing over money, communication, who will do the chores, jealousy, or how to spend each other’s free time? If so, you are not alone. All happy couples argue about something. However, the key is to develop skills needed to manage conflict effectively. How happy you are as a couple will depend on how you resolve things you disagree on and how well you understand your partner’s perspective.
Conflict occurs when two parties have a different understanding or position on an important issue. Conflict in marriage is inevitable, and completely normal.
Some common misconceptions about conflict are that it is irreparable, should be avoided, and that it signals that the relationship is doomed to fail. These thinking errors can lead to suppressing our wants and desires in order to avoid an argument, which can be unhealthy and lead to resentment. Conflict can help you understand your partner’s inner world and having the tools to resolve it can help your relationship thrive.
Some Skills In Couples Counseling To Help Resolve ConflictWhen conflict arises avoid using “you statements” which can lead to your partner becoming defensive, practice speaking from this formula instead “I feel…about what…I need.” Describe what is happening from your perspective. Listen with the intent to understand, use validating statements to express empathy such as “I get it, I can see why this upsets you” or “that makes sense that you would feel that way.”
Accepting your partner’s influence can help you build a positive perspective of one another. Practice accepting influence by recognizing that sometimes your partner has good ideas and trying some of them out can help build mutual respect. Take this quiz to see where you stand when it comes to accepting influence from one another:
Love Quiz: Do You and Your Partner Accept Each Other’s Influence?
De-escalate heightened emotions and reduce tension. Firstly, you can start by asking your partner questions like “I don’t feel like you understand me right now, let me try again” or “I’m sorry, I can see my part in this.” Remember to pause if things begin to feel overwhelming by asking to take a break and agreeing on a time to return to discussion after you both had a chance to calm down.
Conflict can help us understand our partner. Asking the right questions during an argument can lead to a deeper understanding of your partner’s inner world. Learning to recognize and explore your partner’s dreams can help you both move through conflict effectively. For instance, asking your partner questions may help you understand them and the situation better.
Some questions you can ask to gain understanding:
Make a list of your core needs and areas of flexibility, ask your partner to do the same. Help each other understand why your core needs are important to you. Work with your partner to find common ground and compromise on your areas of flexibility. Remember compromise will never feel perfect, the key is that you both feel understood and respected in the process.
Couples Counseling Can Help You Resolve ConflictEvery relationship can benefit from couples counseling. Couples counseling is not just for relationships at the brink of falling apart. Couples therapy can help any partnership that needs help navigating conflict. A skilled couples therapist can guide you in identifying the sources of conflict and help you develop the skills you need to improve your communication!
You can also work on specific goals that will help you and your partner establish patterns of emotional and sexual connection that can improve the overall quality of your relationship. If you are stuck in conflict with your partner and would like help getting unstuck, please give us a call at the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch. We would love to help you cultivate a happy and meaningful relationship with your partner.
If you are ready to improve your relationship, one of the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide couple’s counseling as well as other services. To begin couples counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Carey Robey, MS, LPC While conflicts are a normal part of any relationship, they can often lead to arguments and fights that increase our stress and anxiety and can cause rifts in our relationships. Learning conflict resolution skills can assist you in maintaining healthy boundaries, increase healthy communication skills, and lead you to improved […]
While conflicts are a normal part of any relationship, they can often lead to arguments and fights that increase our stress and anxiety and can cause rifts in our relationships. Learning conflict resolution skills can assist you in maintaining healthy boundaries, increase healthy communication skills, and lead you to improved relationships. These are a few tips you can start utilizing today to resolve conflicts in a healthy way and keep relationships and mental health strong.
A Few Ways To Have Healthy Conflict ResolutionFirstly, remember that a conflict is a disagreement. Sometimes these disagreements may be big, but make the relationship the priority. Conflicts continue to fester when they are ignored. Be sure that you do not fear addressing the issue. Ignoring a problem, whether real or perceived, can lead to resentment. When addressing the problem, be sure you are in a calm and open state of mind.
If you need a few minutes to collect yourself, take the time to do so. This avoids things getting heated and the potential of someone losing control. Some conflicts may trigger strong emotions and it is important that we prepare for this- be mindful and recall your coping skills.
Secondly, it is essential that we understand and state our needs when trying to resolve conflicts and work towards being understanding and compassionate to the needs of others. Be aware of how and what you are communicating and avoid any disrespectful words or comments- also, facial expressions! If you notice the urge to engage in this, it’s time for a break.
Let whomever you are in conflict with know you need a few minutes, but will return to resolve the issue later. While you may be tempted to not return, it is important to do so to allow for resolution and avoid any chance of resentment or pent up negative feelings later. When communicating with the person you are in conflict with, be sure to focus on facts and express your feelings; try to avoid placing blame.
Remember it is okay to agree to disagree. There may be times when conflicts are not resolved in the way you’d prefer. Think of what your responsibility is in the situation and what you have control over. Is there anything you can do to improve your circumstance?
Resolving conflicts in a healthy way provides opportunity for self-growth and can lead to stronger and healthier relationships. If you notice conflict being frequent, try to notice causes. When we can recognize the cause of a conflict, we can work towards avoiding it. Remember to utilize coping skills if things get heated. Do not be afraid to take a time-out. Need more tips? Come in for therapy to work on how to better manage emotions, assert boundaries, and increase healthy communication.
If you are ready to find relief from conflict in your relationship, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide therapy to people of all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer treatment services for adults, teens, kids, couples and families. We offer counseling services in trauma counseling, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, depression treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!