Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch
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Does your teenage son often seem overly emotional? Male teens have a difficult time managing their emotions. Parents often report their son’s react in an extreme manner when they fail an important quiz or are ghosted on social media. Like a snowball, these negative reactions to experiences at school, the sports field or relationships grow […]
Does your teenage son often seem overly emotional? Male teens have a difficult time managing their emotions. Parents often report their son’s react in an extreme manner when they fail an important quiz or are ghosted on social media. Like a snowball, these negative reactions to experiences at school, the sports field or relationships grow until there’s a real struggle with anxiety or depression. To understand why teens have these extreme emotions one has to understand the relationship between our emotions and our thoughts.
In a nutshell, the cognitive theory of emotions states that our emotional reactions are in large part influenced by the negative thoughts we entertain. Teenage boys need help identifying and reframing the negative thoughts that result in exaggerated emotional reactions. With the proper education and support, teenage boys become aware of the automatic negative thoughts that fill their mind and can utilize tools to help them manage their extreme emotions.
The ancient philosopher Epictetus once wrote, “it is not events that upset us, but our opinions about them.” Teen boys are not usually aware that their thoughts often get fused with their perception of external events. In others words, it is very common for teen boys to believe that their thoughts represent the world as it actually is.
When a teen gets a low score on an assignment or misses an important play, it is common that he’ll have a negative thought about his intelligence or ability. Maybe the teen will think something like, “I’m such an idiot”, or “I suck at sports!” If the teen conflates these thoughts with external reality, then it is likely he will start to feel terrible about himself. If he can recognize that his brain produces negative thoughts that do not reflect the way things really are, he can choose a healthier response to a negative experience. For example, instead of beating himself up for a low test score, he can remind himself that everyone makes mistakes and that he can do better next time.
Record negative thoughts It is easy for teen boys to get overwhelmed by their negative thoughts when these thoughts remain in their head. Writing down negative thoughts can be an effective strategy for two reasons.
First, writing down thoughts (or recording them on an iPhone) help teens identify patterns of negative thinking. After a few weeks of recording negative thoughts, a teen may realize that he keeps thinking that he’s unattractive, unintelligent or deficient in sports. Having a clear sense of the pattern of negative thoughts may help a teen understand why he’s been feeling so inferior to other guys around him. By correcting the negative thoughts, the teen has a greater chance of feeling better about himself.
Secondly, recording negative thoughts helps externalize the thoughts. Externalizing the thoughts gives the teen a better sense that while these thoughts are swirling around his mind, they are not necessarily true or reflective of reality.
Thoughts are like filters through which we view the world. Negative thoughts are like a cracked lens that distort how we view ourselves, other people and our environment. Teen boys need help recognizing that they are looking at the world through a distorted lens, not at the world as it really is. Therapists help teen boys create this distance from their thoughts by guiding them through various exercises. Here is a list of exercises that help teen boys create some distance from their thoughts:
Teens are prone to jump to the worst possible conclusion, usually with very little evidence to despair. In the world of therapy, this is known as catastrophizing. A relatively small mistake or social blunder gets blown out of proportion and interpreted as a catastrophe.
A teen likely imagines his girlfriend has moved on or found a better guy, if he sends a text and doesn’t receive a response. He goes down the rabbit hole and imagines that he’ll never date again. He then starts thinking that there is something fundamentally wrong with him!
One of the most effective ways to stop catastrophizing is to describe the situation in a calm, matter-of-fact way. Instead of interpreting the situation in a way that suggests personal offense (e.g., How could she not respond to me!”), try stating the facts in an impartial manner (e.g., She has not responded to this text in 30 minutes). Stating the facts in an objective manner helps the mind not jump to conclusions or rush to negative emotional associations.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help teenage boys manage their negative emotions. The main focus of using CBT is to help identify and address the distorted thoughts. These distorted thoughts often result in a negative self-image. Your therapist will help you set treatment goals. They will also teach you new ways to think about things that cause you to feel bad about yourself. Then they will teach you new behavioral skills to help you cope with these feelings in a more productive way. The therapists at the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch are trained in working with teenage boys and the mental health issues that may arise for this population.
There is nothing wrong with your teenage son. He is not too emotional. He simply hasn’t learned how to identify and manage the negative thoughts that are contributing to his anxiety or depression. Many teen guys find relief and build coping skills that can last a lifetime when they seek out professional help. Please do not hesitate to reach out today and call for help!
Contact us today to help your teen get started. The therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide therapy for teenagers as well as other services for people of all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages including: women’s issues, men’s issues, treatment for anxiety, trauma counseling, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, eating disorder treatment, depression treatment, couples counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, known as CBT, is becoming more widely used by counselors. Moreover, psychiatrists recommend it for a variety of mental health issues. These issues range from anxiety, depression, eating disorders, phobias, and substance use. CBT can also be helpful to people of most ages. Therapists can cater the treatment […]
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, known as CBT, is becoming more widely used by counselors. Moreover, psychiatrists recommend it for a variety of mental health issues. These issues range from anxiety, depression, eating disorders, phobias, and substance use. CBT can also be helpful to people of most ages. Therapists can cater the treatment to children, adults, and teens. So, if it can be used to assist with different issues and different populations, what exactly is CBT?
Helps identify negative thoughts and irrational ways of thinking. Our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are all connected. For example, a student may experience increased anxiety if they have the thought, “I am going to fail this test,” right before an exam. This can lead to trouble focusing or being overly distracted during the exam. This possibly may lead to poor performance. Negative thoughts can pop up at any time. We may be unaware of when it is happening until after the fact. However, we can learn to become aware of our thoughts.
In CBT, a trained counselor can assist individuals in becoming aware of negative thoughts. Next, the therapist can help the client challenge those thoughts and add in healthier ways of looking at certain situations. For example, “ I studied and prepared for this test, and am capable of doing well” is a new way of thinking about the exam from above.
Oftentimes, we rely on what we know or what we are used to cope. We may respond to our feelings and thoughts in ways that are not helpful. These unhealthy coping strategies may include:
In counseling, a therapist can help individuals recognize unhealthy behaviors. Unhealthy behaviors are ineffective and can possibly be harmful. CBT techniques can help people identify healthy coping skills. For example, individuals can learn and achieve healthy ways of dealing with feelings, negative thoughts, and stressful situations. Some healthy coping skills can include:
According to the American Psychiatric Association (APA), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy works as effectively, or more effectively, as other forms of therapy and psychiatric medications (https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral).
Furthermore, CBT can be used to treat many mental health issues. Many studies have shown the effectiveness of CBT for anxiety, depression, eating disorders, relationship issues, self-harm, and substance abuse.
For instance, an individual can learn to identify negative ways of thinking and behaving. Then, can replace those patterns with new, healthier, and more positive thoughts and actions. This can help boost mood and decrease stress. CBT can be structured and short term, and useful for teens, adults, and children.
If you or a loved one are struggling, there is hope. The counselors at the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch are trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. We can help individuals and families dealing with stress and struggles. If you are ready to seek help, follow these steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages including: depression treatment, women’s issues, couples and marriage counseling, eating disorder treatment, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, men’s issues, trauma counseling, anxiety therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Janelle Schlueter, MS, LPC, CCTP Do you love someone that is experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, also known as PTSD? Relationships can often be hard to navigate. When you love someone that struggles with PTSD, “relationship issues” can often take on a whole new meaning. Three Tips On How To Help Your Loved One […]
Do you love someone that is experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, also known as PTSD? Relationships can often be hard to navigate. When you love someone that struggles with PTSD, “relationship issues” can often take on a whole new meaning.
One way to help your partner is to learn how PTSD impacts them. Although there are general criteria for PTSD, the symptoms that an individual experiences is very unique. If your loved one can identify their triggers and make you aware, then that is great. However, sometimes those suffering with PTSD are not aware of triggers or what they experience when triggered. When you help identify triggers or experiences, it not only makes you aware as well, but allows you both to communicate about issues that may arise. Asking questions can be very useful.
What are some specific triggers they can identify?
What do they experience physically and mentally when they are triggered? How could you recognize this as their loved one (would you see them shaking, rocking, excessively sweating…)?
How can you help them when they get triggered? Do they need medication, to breathe or practice a grounding technique or be left alone?
Is there something that would decrease their level of anxiety on a daily basis?
Effective CommunicationCommunication is important in any relationship. However, when you are in a relationship with someone diagnosed with PTSD, communication can be crucial. Extra consideration must be paid to tone, volume, and other unintentionally harmful ways of speaking which may be triggering.
It is also important that you choose an appropriate time to have a serious discussion. Let your partner know that you need to have a discussion and set a time that works for you both. It is best to wait until your loved one is not highly anxious or coping with a trigger before trying to accomplish serious concerns. Identifying when you or your partner are flooded and needing a break in communication is also helpful.
A person suffering from PTSD rarely feels safe. Most people can say they feel safe at home, but that is not always the case for someone with PTSD. For your loved one, it is important that they have a “safe” space. “Safe” means no physical danger, but it also means emotionally safe. Take time with your partner to identify where or what they need to feel safe. For example, some people can feel more safe as long as their backs are not to the door in a social setting. For others, they may need new locks or the room re-painted. Again, every individual experiencing PTSD is different and their needs will be unique to their trauma.
Furthermore, feeling “safe” is also creating some predictability or routines. When things are predictable, they are not as likely to cause an increase in stress.
When you love and care for someone with PTSD the stress can be overwhelming for you as well. A counselor can help you with identifying and implementing healthy boundaries, effective communication, and self-care strategies.
Sometimes loving someone with PTSD can be a struggle. There are support groups for those who love people with PTSD which may help in reassuring you that you are not alone.
Hopefully your loved one has seen or is currently seeing a counselor who specializes in PTSD. If not, encourage them to seek help as well. If the relationship between you and your loved one is struggling due to what you believe is a factor of PTSD, seek a couples counselor.
Above all, treat yourself and your loved one with love and respect.
If you are ready to learn how to help you or your loved one suffering from PTSD, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide therapy to people of all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer treatment for trauma for adults, teens, and kids. We also offer counseling services in other areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Carey Robey, MS, LPC Whether you have had a bad day at work, an argument with your partner, or are overwhelmed by the global health pandemic, healthy coping skills can help you manage stressful situations and diminish symptoms of depression and anxiety. There many ways to cope and it is valuable to have multiple […]
Whether you have had a bad day at work, an argument with your partner, or are overwhelmed by the global health pandemic, healthy coping skills can help you manage stressful situations and diminish symptoms of depression and anxiety. There many ways to cope and it is valuable to have multiple tools you can turn to. Different coping skills will help you in various ways, so I am going to introduce you to five types. It may seem easier to just use strategies you know work for quick relief, but understanding what coping skills work best can better assist you in reducing your emotional distress.
Distraction works as a great coping skill because it gives your mind a break; it’s an excellent tool for short-term relief. It is a way for you to remove yourself from the situation, whether physically, mentally, or emotionally. Engaging in activities like talking to friends or family, watching television, playing a game, cleaning or organizing, or doing arts and crafts can all be healthy ways to distract yourself from whatever is causing distress. Finding new activities to engage in can not only be distracting, but you may find a new hobby you actually enjoy doing for self-care!
Get in TouchGrounding is a great technique to use when trying to calm your emotions. Sometimes we just need to slow down. Grounding involves getting in touch with ourselves and with nature. You can practice grounding techniques through using your senses- try lighting your favorite candle, walking on grass or sand barefoot, practicing yoga or meditation, sitting outside, or engaging in deep breathing. Another great tool, especially fun for kids, is to play the “rainbow” game- spend time noticing the different colors around you, trying to find each color of the rainbow. Taking a moment to ground yourself can help you better regulate your emotions.
Emotional release is a great tool when you need to release some of that pent-up energy. Emotions can affect us physically as well as mentally, and giving yourself the space to let it out can relieve a lot of that tension. Instead of letting yourself overflow without any control, willingly let yourself experience emotion. Watch a movie that is going to make you laugh or cry, do a really intense workout, journal, dance like no one is watching, take a cold shower! Sometimes what we really need is a release of the overwhelming pressure so we can reset and move on.
Another area to work on is self-love. Self-love is about appreciating yourself and showing yourself that support we all need. What are you doing for yourself? If the answer is “I don’t know,” find something to add into your routine. Maybe treat yourself to a nice bath, take a few extra minutes to straighten up your room, get a manicure or a massage, or eat your favorite meal. If you have the resources, go to your favorite place or buy a small treat. Most importantly, speak kindly to yourself. Take the time to do something you love and something that is good for you- you deserve it! This is another crucial aspect of self-care.
Though we have been over several great options for you to use in coping with depression and anxiety, one of the most important skills and the one that can have long-term effects on your mental health is thought challenging. Thought challenging is an attempt to shift your negative thinking habits into more constructive ones. Check for evidence for your negative thought. Consider all the ways your negative thought may not be true. Along with challenging negative thoughts, you can engage in more positive self-talk. Try expressing positive affirmations, talking to yourself like you would talk to your best friend, and practice gratitude. Think of the things going right in life.
In therapy, I work on teaching you how to master these skills until they become second nature. Coping skills need not just be reserved for when you are in a crisis or in distress. Practicing a variety of coping skills should be a part of your self-care routine. It is easier to utilize these tools in a moment of need when you are already accustomed to doing them. It is also essential that you have a variety of tools you can use, as not every coping skill is going to be as beneficial depending on the situation. Try out different things and see what brings you peace and a sense of calm, allowing you to better manage any depression or anxiety and live a more fulfilled life.
If you are ready to find relief from depression and anxiety for yourself or your child or teen, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide therapy to people of all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer treatment for depression and anxiety for adults, teens, and kids. We also offer counseling services in other areas including trauma counseling, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Carey Robey, MS, LPC Intern Spring Cleaning Can Help with Anxiety and Stress Relief Looking to find anxiety and stress relief during these times? Have you been procrastinating on doing your spring cleaning? If you have not already partaken in this annual purge, now may be a good time! It seems like many people […]
Looking to find anxiety and stress relief during these times? Have you been procrastinating on doing your spring cleaning? If you have not already partaken in this annual purge, now may be a good time! It seems like many people have taken advantage of their extra time at home working on organizing and cleaning out. If you haven’t, keep reading on how this can help you ease stress and increase self-care and healthy habits. Taking some time to tend to the clutter in your life is a great way to ease some unnecessary anxiety.
There are many benefits to cleaning out your home. Our living spaces should be our own personal oasis; having a clean home can reduce stress, improve sleep, and make us more productive! The physical act of cleaning can be a great way to de-stress and to turn your mind off for a bit. We can distract ourselves for a little while focusing on mindless tasks such as cleaning dishes or wiping down counters, or distract yourself by cleaning out a junk drawer, closet, or pantry.
Cleaning can also be good for your physical health; for example, regularly cleaning and tidying your home can reduce dust and other triggers for your allergies. Cleaning can also lead to feelings of accomplishment; though you might not always enjoy actually completing the task of de-cluttering or cleaning, that feeling of satisfaction afterward makes the chore totally worth it. Keeping things cleaner can also encourage you to engage in other positive habits, such as better sleep hygiene, healthy eating, and self-care.
It may be a good time to consider cleaning out some of that internal clutter while you’re at it. Often, we need to let go of other things that are affecting our mental health. Consider reevaluating toxic relationships, unhealthy coping skills, and negative thinking patterns. Many times, we get stuck in our bad habits and forget that there is something we can do about it. Take some time for yourself and consider what other things may need moving on with.
Are you still talking to that person in your life who always bring you down or engaging in activities that may provide short-term relief, but in actuality, are not really alleviating your stress and anxiety? This is a great time to check those habits and chuck them if necessary; pick up something new and healthy instead. Spring cleaning does not have to be just about the items in your closet or garage. Make sure that you are doing away with negativity in all aspects of your life. Do some weeding so that you can blossom! 
Though we often hear about “Spring” cleaning, it is important that we are consistently checking with ourselves if there are things we can weed out, whether it be those clothes you haven’t worn in five years, or that one coping skill that you know is not good for you – don’t be afraid to let go. This is a huge part of self-care and you deserve to have a clutter-free life. I hope that you find this will reduce your stress and anxiety and provide a tranquil space and peace of mind. Stay safe and happy cleaning!
If you are ready to find relief from anxiety and stress for yourself or your child or teen, the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide therapy to people of all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer treatment for anxiety for adults, teens, and kids. We also offer counseling services in other areas including trauma counseling, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, depression treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!