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By: M. Katherine Lickteig, MA, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S What is a “Gray Divorce?” While the term is not widely known, a “gray divorce” is far more common than people realize. In 2012, researchers at Bowling Green State University coined the phrase after the phenomenon of people that were married for […]
While the term is not widely known, a “gray divorce” is far more common than people realize. In 2012, researchers at Bowling Green State University coined the phrase after the phenomenon of people that were married for a long time that divorced. The researchers found that the divorce rate in the United States had doubled in the past two decades and has more than doubled for couples over 65. They dubbed this phenomenon the “gray divorce revolution”. The phenomenon of gray divorce is not isolated to the United States. That is to say, it is affecting all nationalities and cultures.
There are many factors that contribute to the rise of late-life divorce. Women are considered to be better suited to live independently because of increased job opportunities. Secondly, due to the increasing availability of the internet, there is ample opportunity to explore other options. Whatever the reasons for the increase among boomers, there is an unintentional consequence in how it affects adult children.
The primary question is do these divorces cause emotional issues for their children? The parents of gray divorces have done their job, so what is the big deal when a divorce happens? Many couples feel they have earned the right to live life on their terms, and they are correct to a certain degree. However, as is familiar with any action, there are unintentional consequences.
Grief is a common emotion, and some (adult) children will suffer psychological issues. As a result, they develop trust and relational issues with others. It skews personal identity and changes the parent-child relationship dynamic. When adult children learn of their parent’s divorce, they may go through the same stages of grief as if they’d lost a loved one.
Adult children of divorce tend to question everything in their lives. Therefore, they often doubt themselves and their relationships. Additionally, they may suffer from trust issues within their relationships. If an affair has happened, they often ask themselves “will happen to me?”, or “is it possible that I can treat another individual in this manner?”. If they have had a happy childhood they may question whether or not they can trust the reality of their upbringing, especially if one spouse has rewritten the history of the marriage.
Ultimately, we have to deal with the change of dynamics in the family relationships. No longer is the choice of Thanksgiving as easy as it had been in the past. Now, there may be other people to consider. Relationships may become strained to the point of disrepair. Oftentimes, men of “Gray Divorce” choose not to be involved with their children after the divorce.
Divorce is sometimes an inevitable part of life. However, it can be made more bearable with a trusted therapist by your side.
If you would like to talk more about personal therapy and divorce, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling and mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: M. Katherine Lickteig, MA, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Are you the adult child of a late-life divorce? Have you been adversely affected by the fact that your parents recently divorced? You are not alone. Adult children are often involved negatively by the divorce of their parents. They often struggle with […]
Are you the adult child of a late-life divorce? Have you been adversely affected by the fact that your parents recently divorced? You are not alone. Adult children are often involved negatively by the divorce of their parents. They often struggle with issues of grief. Adult children often question their life’s meaning. They work to find meaning from the situation. Adversely, adult children can suffer far worse than minor children. If you are struggling with issues from your parent’s divorce, you are not alone.
Late-life divorce is a term given to a couple who split after many years of marriage. The divorce rate amongst younger people has decreased. However, the divorce rate for older adults has soared in the past few years. The unintentional consequence of the increase in late-life divorce is that adult-children face emotional issues at an unprecedented rate.
Your parents have done their job. Are you being selfish? It is ok to acknowledge that it is ok to feel that way. Try to be patient with your feelings. Typical feelings that you may experience can range from grief to anger. You may need to seek a professional to work out how you are feeling.
Grief is a struggle that many adult children experience. Therefore, when adult children learn of their parent’s impending divorce, they will often go through the stages of grief. These children are shocked that what they knew as their childhood has died. The person is grieving the loss of their childhood. Occasionally, extreme levels of grief may also cause this person to question their life.
Adult children of divorce tend to question everything in their lives. They often doubt themselves and their relationships, and they often suffer from trust issues within their relationships. Sometimes, individuals will challenge themselves about the reality of their family. This will happen significantly if one spouse has rewritten the history of the marriage. They would ask themselves if they were part of the happy family they thought they were. They will question their ability to discern the truth from their lives.
Children of late-life divorce will have to deal with a change in the dynamics of the family. You may have other people to consider. Relationships may strain to the point they can never be repaired. You may no longer have a relationship with one or both parents.
Divorce is never easy. Sometimes it is unavoidable. As a result, it is important that all family members affected become involved if you are experiencing such issues due to the divorce. A trusted therapist can help. If you have any questions, please get in touch with one of our therapists at Cinco Ranch Counseling to aid you in getting through this difficult time.
If you are ready to talk about late-life divorce or inquire about personal therapy, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin personal counseling in Katy, TX you can follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, Counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!