Confidence Building for Kids

By: Margie Frisco, MA, LPC-Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton MA, LPC-S

Having self-confidence as a kid can be tricky! Remember back when you were a kid. Did you experience a situation where another classmate was mean to you? Or remember the old saying of sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me…..really? Words can hurt significantly if a child listens to the mean comments and starts to believe them. This blog will go over how you, as a parent, can help your child build confidence.

Confidence Building with Affirmations

Daily affirmations have become more popular over the years. But, let us start with defining what a daily affirmation is. It is a statement that someone can say to themselves. It can be helpful for a person to feel better about themselves.  Additionally, it can help that person learn how to use positive self-talk. Think of positive self-talk and daily affirmations as a hopeful and “good” expression about yourself TO yourself. See an example below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJs7_rrPaEI Teaching your children to say nice things to themselves early will help grow that confidence. They learn how to make eye contact, explore their facial expressions, get experience with direct conversations, and most importantly, how to say nice things to themselves. I know it can seem silly, but telling the affirmations in the mirror is helpful. Depending on their age, you can create these affirmations, work together to make them, or check the link below to see some printable cards for your kids.

Demonstrate Healthy Confidence

As parents, we have one of the biggest influences on our child’s life. We can demonstrate or model a specific behavior. Many child therapists agree that children learn by seeing. To help your child grow their confidence, you can show them how. You can model behavior by celebrating a victory in front of them. For example, if you got the promotion you have been working hard to get, do a happy dance and have them join in. Furthermore, if your child has been struggling with school and does well, have them choose (within reason) how to celebrate. Another way you can model having healthy confidence is using a positive affirmation when you are not feeling your best. For instance, if someone says something mean about how you look or act, say, “that is ok. I know I am worthy of love.” Or if someone blames you for something you had no control over, say, “I tried my best.” Showing your child how to react when others are not nice can show them how to respond if they experience the same thing.

Reflecting on Our Actions

Now, I know it is easy for me to sit here and say, “oh, just say or do this.” I realize that it can be hard not to react. I completely get it. Emotions, right!?! Even if you respond in a not-so-great way, it is ok. You have the opportunity to have another conversation with your child when you are calm. And then you can both practice what could be a better response. This will help your child learn how to reflect on their behaviors and actions to find ways to improve. Reflecting on the action shows your child that they can make mistakes. Also, it allows your child to see what actions they can take. And you are there to help them critically think. Most kids under twelve do not have analytical thinking completely working. You can step in, help them think through the options, and find which action is best for them.

Trying New Things

I understand that sometimes the best option might be something new. As the parent, you can feed their confidence by saying they can do it. Moreover, you can practice or try new things with them. For instance, if you reflect and the new action is talking to someone new. You can set up their stuffed toy animals and practice how to introduce themselves. This might feel silly, but it can be a helpful teaching aid with your children, create a fun memory, and teach them to come to you with difficult situations.

Begin Counseling at Our Center in Katy, TX!

If you are ready to help build confidence in your child or children, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling and mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:

• Contact our office to set up an appointment or to learn more about child therapy.
• Meet with one of our child-focused therapists.
• Find ways for you and your child to thrive!

Other Therapy Services We Offer:

Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men's issues, women's issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!