Shame and Chronic illness
By: Janelle Schlueter, MS, LPC, NCC, CCTP
Having a chronic disease severely impacts the quality of life. People with chronic illness struggle with daily shame. Do you or someone you know to struggle with a chronic illness? Do you struggle with shame around that illness?
What is shame in regards to chronic illness?
Shame is self-judging or feeling embarrassed based on a negative view of yourself. The amount of or extremity of self-judging depends on who you are, often compared to others. With chronic illness, shame occurs from labeling your whole self and identity as defective, broken, or less than others. Shame outside of a chronic condition happen when we do something big, which clashes with our integrity, like lying or cheating.
Why would chronic illness bring shame?
Someone with chronic illness is often unable to do activities like other people. Not participating in everyday activities often repeatedly turns down invitations to activities. If you can go to activities, you may need to ask for ‘special treatment’ due to limitations. In both of those instances, both parties acknowledge that you are ‘different.’ You often interpret these ‘differences’ as ‘less than others’ or ‘a bother’ due to your illness. Primarily when other people's judgment can oftentimes fuel the shame of chronic illness. Some people may question the validity of a chronic illness unless they can visually see it. Doctors may second guess your symptoms. Co-workers may not understand the ‘special accommodations you require. Friends or family saying comments such as “is it that bad?” It is natural to feel defeated and judged when you are being questioned repeatedly like this. Others' questions and second-guessing is likely from ignorance and a lack of understanding rather than judgment. With that said, still, remember to advocate for yourself!
How to get the negativity to go away:
Chronic illness is a part of your daily life, but it is not the whole picture. Battling this internal hurt starts by acknowledging that it is not a character description or a label like ‘loving, compassionate or funny’ while you have a chronic illness. Challenge yourself to redefine the chronic illness from a larger whole and reduce it to a smaller part. Rather than saying “I am broken and ashamed’ try saying, “I have a chronic illness, but that is just a part of who I am.” There is so much more to you than the illness. As you learn to accept that your illness does not define the WHOLE you, the shame will decrease.
If you are struggling with chronic illness and shame, counseling with a licensed professional can help.
Begin Counseling to Heal from shame and chronic illness in Katy, TX
If you are ready to heal from shame related to chronic illness, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling for women, men, teens, and children. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
- Contact our office to set up an appointment or to get more information about counseling for chronic illness-related shame.
- Meet with one of our caring therapists.
- Find ways to improve your self-esteem and boost confidence!
Other Therapy Services We Offer Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages including eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, treatment for anxiety, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, family therapy, trauma counseling, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!