Children and Resiliency
Posted: February 12, 2024
By: Katherine Lickteig, MA, LPC Associate
Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S
What is resiliency in children?
Resilience in children is the ability to bounce back from stressors in life, such as everyday stress, adversity, failure, life challenges, or even trauma. Most children are equipped with the ability to work through challenges. Kids are not born with resiliency. However, it’s a skill that is developed as your child grows.
Why should parents want to develop resiliency in their children? Resilient kids have the confidence to take healthy risks. These kids don’t have a fear of falling short of expectations. Resilient kids tend to be curious and brave. They have developed the ability to trust their instincts. They have a healthy knowledge of their limits. These children will push themselves to step outside of their comfort zones. Resiliency helps children to reach their long-term goals. They have the confidence to solve their problems independently.
Strategies to build resilience
Parents can help kids build resilience by teaching them to solve problems by themselves. As parents, it is our inclination to jump in so that our child does not experience any discomfort. When we do this, we actually destroy our children’s self-confidence. We need our kids to experience hardships so that they can gain the confidence to work through their problems. If we do not allow children to develop this skill set, they will experience anxiety and shut down any time they are faced with adversity. Here are some ways that parents can help to foster a strong sense of resiliency in their children.
Children and Resiliency
What is resiliency in children?
Resilience in children is the ability to bounce back from stressors in life, such as everyday stress, adversity, failure, life challenges, or even trauma. Most children are equipped with the ability to work through challenges. Kids are not born with resiliency. However, it’s a skill that is developed as your child grows.
Why should parents want to develop resiliency in their children? Resilient kids have the confidence to take healthy risks. These kids don’t have a fear of falling short of expectations. Resilient kids tend to be curious and brave. They have developed the ability to trust their instincts. They have a healthy knowledge of their limits. These children will push themselves to step outside of their comfort zones. Resiliency helps children to reach their long-term goals. They have the confidence to solve their problems independently.
Stress and Resilience
Kids are going to encounter stress as they grow. Despite our best efforts, parents can’t protect kids from everything. Kids may get sick, move to a new neighborhood, they may encounter bullies and cyberbullies, will have to take tests, may have to cope with grief, lose friends, or even deal with divorce. These are just a few things that kids may experience. At the same time, these things might seem small in our eyes. They can feel huge to children. Resilience gives kids the ability to navigate stressful situations. When kids have the confidence to work through their problems, they gain the confidence to confront difficult issues. When children are allowed to bounce back on their own instead of parents stepping in to solve their problems, children will internalize the message that they are strong and capable. This will give them the confidence to lead a successful life.Strategies to build resilience
Parents can help kids build resilience by teaching them to solve problems by themselves. As parents, it is our inclination to jump in so that our child does not experience any discomfort. When we do this, we actually destroy our children’s self-confidence. We need our kids to experience hardships so that they can gain the confidence to work through their problems. If we do not allow children to develop this skill set, they will experience anxiety and shut down any time they are faced with adversity. Here are some ways that parents can help to foster a strong sense of resiliency in their children.
Build a Strong Emotional Connection
Parents need to spend one-on-one time with their kids: This helps children develop coping skills within the confines of caring relationships. Positive connections give you the ability to model coping and problem-solving skills to your children.Promote Healthy Risk-Taking
Encouraging your children to take healthy risks is extremely important. We need children to take a healthy risk. Healthy risks are anything that encourages a child to go outside of their comfort zone but has very little danger if they are unsuccessful. We have to realize that when kids avoid risk, they internalize that they are not strong enough to handle any risks.Resist the Urge to Fix It and Ask Questions Instead
When kids come to their parents to solve their problems, the natural response is to lecture or explain. A better strategy is to ask questions. By bouncing the problem back to the child with questions, the parent helps the child think through the issue and come up with solutions.Teach Problem-Solving Skills
The goal is not to promote rugged self-reliance. We all need help sometimes, and it’s important for kids to know they have help. By brainstorming solutions with kids, parents engage in the process of solving problems. Encourage kids to come up with a list of ideas and weigh the pros and cons of each one.Label Emotions
When stress kicks in, emotions run hot. Teach your kids that all feelings are important and that labeling their feelings can help them make sense of what they’re experiencing. Tell them it’s okay to feel anxious, sad, jealous, etc., and reassure them that bad feelings usually pass.Demonstrate Coping Skills
Deep breathing exercises help kids relax and calm themselves when they experience stress or frustration. This enables them to remain calm and process the situation clearly.Embrace Mistakes—Theirs and Yours
Failure avoiders lack resilience. In fact, failure-avoiders tend to be highly anxious kids. When parents focus on end results, kids get caught up in the pass/fail cycle. They either succeed or they don’t. This causes risk avoidance. Embracing mistakes (your own included) helps promote a growth mindset and gives kids the message that mistakes help them learn. It can be helpful to talk about a mistake you made and how you.Model Resiliency
The best way to teach resilience is to model it. We all encounter stressful situations. Use coping and calming strategies. Deep breathing can be an effective way to work through stress. Always label your emotions and talk through your problem-solving process.Go Outside
Exercise helps strengthen the brain and make it more resilient to stress and adversity. While team sports are the most popular method of consistent exercise for kids, all kids really need is time spent outdoors engaging in physical activity. If team sports don’t appeal to your child, encourage them or introduce them to bicycling, playing tag, or even just swinging at the playground. These are all great ways for kids to engage in free play that also builds resilience. Resilience helps kids navigate the obstacles they encounter as they grow. It’s not possible to avoid stress, but being resilient is one of the best ways to cope with it.Begin Adoption Therapy in Katy, TX!
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