By: Tara Kong, MS, NCC, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton

Hearing vs. Active Listening

There are very important differences between hearing someone and actively listening. Listening to someone is more work than hearing. Furthermore, it is essential to have people who listen to us and who we listen to in return. Active listening is choosing to be fully present and engaged in the conversation. It shows the other person you care about what they have to say and find it important.

Hearing and Active Listening: Hearing

Hearing is defined in the dictionary as the faculty of perceiving sounds. When we use our hearing, we are aware of t noise or the sound something is making, but we don’t necessarily find meaning or understand what is being said. Hearing is a physiological act and we can be doing it subconsciously.  

Hearing and Active Listening: Listening

 Listening is defined as giving one’s attention to a sound. When we are listening, we have to make sense of what is being said. Listening involves us paying attention, processing what is being said, and making sense of the words. It is a conscious decision to listen to another person. Ideally, when someone speaks, our brain will match what they are saying with words we already know in our mental vocabulary. This allows us to understand and process what is being said .  

Hearing and Active Listening: More than Words

When we listen to someone, we don’t just hear and make meaning of their words. We will also take note of their tone of voice, how loud or softly they are speaking, and how quickly they are speaking. If we are close to someone, it can be easier to interpret what mood they are in. For example, a friend may speak more quickly if she is excited. Nonverbal communication involves eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and body language. Nonverbal can often tell us just as much as verbal cues do.  

Hearing and Active Listening: Active Listening

Active listening is not always natural for everyone, but it is an important skill anyone can learn. As with most things, the more you practice, the more likely you are to improve. When we actively listen to someone, we focus on the speaker and try to fully understand what they are trying to communicate to us. It is important to be patient, not interrupt, and ask questions if the meaning is unclear. It can also be helpful to repeat what the speaker has said to your own words to check and make sure the speaker was understood correctly. Active listening is important because it allows us to understand what is being said, and by understanding, we form connections with others. It shows the speaker we respect them and view what they have to say as important and valuable.

Tips

Be curious. Practice asking questions. Be patient. Allow the speaker time to speak without trying to jump in or plan what you would like to say in advance. Give the speaker your undivided attention and be present in the conversation. Just like every person is different, listening can look different to different people. It is also not necessary to actively listen to every single thing that is said to us. Different situations require different ways of communicating. By becoming aware of the differences between hearing and listening, we can learn to notice what skills we need to improve on, and it will help us to have more effective and meaningful conversations with those around us.

Begin Therapy in Katy, TX!

If you are ready to learn more about hearing and active listening, one of the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide mental health counseling, as well as other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:

• Contact our office to set up an appointment or to learn more about emotionally focused therapy
• Meet with one of our compassionate therapists
• Find ways to thrive in your relationship!

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