Minimizing Wedding Planning Stress: Tips from a Relationship Counselor
By: Natasha Cooke, MS, LPC Associate
Supervised by: Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S, CCTP, LCDC
Getting engaged is an exhilarating time. You’ve unlocked another level of achievement in your relationship, see a bright future on the horizon, and hopefully created a beautiful core memory with your partner during the proposal. What now?
Is Wedding Planning Stress Inescapable?
You often hear that the engagement period is initially exciting but then swiftly becomes a time of immense pressure, stress, and tension due to the wedding planning process. Why does this happen? There are many reasons tensions arise around planning a wedding, including budgeting, family and friend expectations, the desire to make everyone happy and create a flawless and perfect day. So, everyone who has been through it seems to agree – wedding planning stress is inevitable – right? As a relationship counselor, I’m here to let you know there’s an alternative to the seemingly pending doom and pinnacle of anxiety caused by planning a wedding.
Steps to Enjoy Planning a Wedding & Engagement
Take Time to Enjoy Your Engagement
Through counseling couples, I frequently hear that the engagement period is when major problems in the relationship first arise. This can occur for a multitude of reasons; however, it is sometimes due to the stress that planning a wedding has on couples. If possible, I recommend that couples hold off on starting the wedding planning process and simply enjoy the fact they have agreed to spend the rest of their lives together. Take time to enjoy one another’s company and celebrate this incredible moment for the two of you.
Getting engaged is a wonderful time to reflect on your relationship and how far you’ve come. In addition, talk about how you envision your future together past the wedding. What exciting visions do you have for your lives? What traditions and lifestyle do you dream of sharing with your partner? The point is, getting engaged means more than having a wedding. It means agreeing to do life with your partner through all the ups and downs. It’s a big deal. Seize the moment and truly appreciate one another for the commitment you have made.
Do It Your Way & Romanticize the Planning Process
Couples fall into heavy anxiety and stress if they are not intentional with how they go about planning their wedding. Here are a few tips that can help make this process, fun, exciting, and truly a special time for your relationship.
First decide if having a wedding is the best decision for the two of you. Perhaps you’d prefer to elope or skip having a wedding altogether. Whether it’s a big wedding, a small wedding, or no wedding, make sure it’s what both of you want.
Give yourself adequate time to plan a wedding. Giving yourself a year or even more time can be helpful in relieving some of the stress and pressure of planning.
Have a conversation with your partner about intentionally doing your best to enjoy this process.
Prioritize what you and your partner want. Skip tradition if it doesn’t suit you.
Set dates aside to discuss wedding plans in a stress-free environment. For instance, spend a Saturday evening at home with your favorite beverage, sit somewhere comfy, and talk about fun ideas for the wedding.
Remember that you cannot please everyone. You can do your best to keep your guests in mind but ultimately make choices that best suit you and your partner.
Seek Premarital Counseling
I highly recommend that you use your engagement to begin practicing healthy relationship dynamics you want to carry into your marriage. Seeking premarital counseling with a licensed counselor can help you and your partner overcome existing hurdles in your relationship, improve communication, increase intimacy, and set reasonable expectations for one another.
In addition, having a neutral party guide you through this process can help alleviate some of the stress that comes with planning a wedding. For instance, it’s common for couples to disagree on the way they handle meddling family members trying to persuade the couple to go along with their own desires for the wedding. Seeing a premarital counselor will help you address concerns you have about your wedding or marriage in a safe place.
Happy planning!
Begin Therapy in Katy, TX
If you need more direction to help manage your emotions, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide pre-marital counseling, as well as other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Contact our office to set up an appointment or to learn more information about improving your mental health
Meet with one of our kind and caring relationship therapists
Find other ways to improve your mental health with the help of a knowledgeable therapist!
Other Therapy Services We Offer:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!