Parenting with Attachment

Posted: November 18, 2024

By: Margie Frisco, MA, LPC Parenting your child with a strong attachment style is very difficult. I will continue to say parenting is hard! Parenting is especially hard when children don’t feel connected with their parents. Let’s define attachment style. Attachment styles are how people act in relationships. This process starts as young as a baby. We can see this when an infant cries and the parent picks up the baby to console them. Actions like these impact our attachment style even into adulthood. A healthy or secure attachment style helps children with many things. It can help with healthy emotion regulation, security in knowing someone has their back, trust in authority figures, and healthy communication skills.

Parenting with Attachment

As a parent, you directly get to choose how you want to impact a child’s attachment style. A healthy attachment is created by what actions you take as a parent. How you interact with your child teaches them how to act in other relationships. Some general things parents can do to create a healthy attachment style:

Talking openly with your child.
Create a safe space for them to express themselves.
Showing them support by listening and showing up.
Showing them how to regulate their emotions in healthy ways.
Show children healthy boundaries.

Keep in mind that a child’s attachment style will develop as they grow older. As they grow, their behaviors will change and adapt to their age level. This is why spending quality time with your child to know where they are at is extremely important.

When Parents Use Affection

It is imperative to start working on the attachment with your child from birth. Again, different age ranges need other things. See below to learn more about each age range and how to help with their attachment. Infant to roughly 2 years old:

Help children to self-soothe when they have big feelings.
Physical touch can be very grounding with emotions (ex., Hugs, cuddles, holding hands, patting back)

2 years to 7 years old:

Help children verbally express themselves.
Spend time playing with children.
Create a space where children can express themselves with no judgment.

7 years to 11 years old:

Expand on verbally expressing themselves.
Develop a deeper relationship with your child.
Continue to play with your child, with them leading the story.
Let them teach you something.

11 years old to teenage years:

Allow your child some independence (per each child).
Have conversations about emotions and how they impact others.
Explore their relationships with their peers.

Remember, parenting is a constant process. It is ok to make mistakes. Children learn by seeing how parents handle the mistakes.

In Conclusion

For the final time, parenting is hard! Remember, parenting is not about getting it perfect. Parenting is truly about finding ways to help your child learn and grow in a healthy way. We discussed rewards, consequences, and attachment as ways to do that. Call today to learn more about how to help parent your family in a healthy way.

Begin Therapy for Attachment in Katy, TX!

If you would like more help with parenting, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide mental health counseling, as well as other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:

Contact our office to set up an appointment or to learn more information
Meet with one of our knowledgeable therapists
Find ways to thrive through therapy today!

Other Therapy Services We Offer:

Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men's issues, women's issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!