Pet Grief: 3 Tips To Manage Your Child’s Experience

By: Rachel Fowler, MS, LPC, NCC

Managing your child’s pet grief after the loss of a pet is rarely something most families plan for. Based on Forbes’ 2024 research, 66% of United States households own a pet, and 97% of these homes consider their pets to be part of the family. Each of these families will have a different pet loss story, and there is no “right” way to manage the potential complex emotions this will bring to the family. Here I would like to explain a few tips to help you manage your child’s experience with grief.

3 Tips to manage your child’s Pet Grief

1. Use age-appropriate language and be honest

Use age-appropriate language when explaining the death of the family pet. When explaining the situation, especially to children, avoid using abstract language at first. Here are a few abstract words to avoid: lost, passed, gone, or no longer here. Children are concrete thinkers; therefore, abstract language is confusing and leads to misunderstandings. This confusion can make an already difficult conversation… worse.

2. Have the child be involved

Having your child involved in the decision-making process will foster healthy grieving and emotional resilience. Allowing the child to have input on simple and age-appropriate plans will help your child engage in the grieving process. This education is an example of how to show empathy and compassion after a death. For example, if your family decides on a cremation, the child can pick out the pet’s favorite toy to join them or decide on the type of container for their ashes.  

3. Be open and expressive of your emotions 

Children learn by watching and doing what they see their caregivers do. Parental figures need to show the appropriate way to express emotions. This will look like showing and expressing sadness, even if you are not crying like your child. This will look like being present during the memorial for the pet and engaging in the activity, not hurrying though the event. The overall goal is to be present as an emotional figure to guide your child through these confusing emotions.

Pet grief processing activities for your family 

Pet grief processing activities painting memorial rocks to place in a specific place or near the burial site, will give the family space to hold for grief in an easy activity. Plant a flower or decorate a pot with the pet’s name in remembrance, and have the children take care of it. Have the children pick out their favorite photo of the pet and pick a frame. Then, find an open space in their room or the house to set it up with a few items that remind them of the pet. Lastly, if you have items that could be donated. Explore the idea of bringing the family to a local shelter with your donatable items.

Involving the child in these activities will help build their emotional foundation for grief and widen their idea of death. The tips focus on honoring, finding meaning, and integrating the pet’s death. Use these tips to help manage your child’s experience with pet loss and grief. If you do use these tips, always remember to allow age-appropriate decisions. 

Begin Pet Grief Therapy in Katy, TX!

If you feel like your child could benefit from counseling related to grief and loss, let one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch help! We provide grief counseling as well as other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:

• Contact our office to set up an appointment or to learn more information
• Meet with one of our knowledgeable therapists
• Find ways to thrive through therapy today!

Other Therapy Services We Offer: 

Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!