Talking About Sex in Therapy: How to Overcome Embarrassment
By: Jennifer Vannoy, Practicum Student
Supervised by: Dr. Cheri Locke, PhD, MA, LPC-S, CST, CCTP
“I’m Too Embarrassed to Talk About Sex in Therapy…”
Talking about sex in therapy can feel awkward, especially if you’ve spent most of your life being told sex is private, shameful, or something “nice people” don’t discuss. Yet for many people, discussing sexual concerns in therapy becomes one of the most healing conversations they ever have.
I’m writing this blog because so many people struggle with sexual concerns but never bring them up in therapy. Instead, they sit with anxiety, relationship stress, low desire, pain during sex, shame, or questions about their sexuality, all while thinking, “I could never say this out loud.”
And honestly? I get it.
Even saying words like orgasm, masturbation, or clitorus can make some people want to disappear into the couch cushions. But avoiding these conversations often keeps people stuck longer than they need to be. But the truth? Your therapist has likely heard much more than you think. Therapy should be a safe place to talk about all parts of your life, including your sex life.
Why Talking About Sex Feels So Hard
Many people weren’t taught how to talk about sex in healthy ways. Maybe sex was never discussed in your home. Maybe it was only talked about in terms of danger, shame, or religion. Maybe your sex education class taught you how not to get pregnant but skipped everything about pleasure, communication, or healthy relationships.
For others, sexual trauma, negative relationship experiences, or body image struggles can make these conversations feel even more uncomfortable.
You may be experiencing:
- Low libido
- Pain during sex
- Trouble reaching orgasm
- Different sexual desires than your partner
- Anxiety about intimacy
- Questions about sexual identity
- Shame around masturbation or pornography
- Difficulty communicating sexual needs
And yet many people still think:
“This is too weird to bring up.”
“My therapist will judge me.”
“This probably isn’t serious enough.”
Let me try to ease your mind: you are NOT the first person to bring this into a therapy room.
What Happens If You Talk About Sex in Therapy?
A lot of people imagine that talking about sex in therapy it will play out like an awkward movie scene where everyone feels uncomfortable.
That’s not what good therapy looks like. Instead, your therapist may help you:
- Explore where your beliefs about sex came from
- Improve communication with your partner
- Process sexual shame or trauma
- Learn about desire differences
- Reduce performance anxiety
- Build confidence and body acceptance
- Understand what healthy intimacy looks like for you
As for the clients, some may whisper their concern during the last five minutes of session; some may blurt it out and immediately say, “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I just said that;” some may cry because they’ve been carrying shame for years.
All of those reactions are normal.
You Don’t Have to Share Everything Right Away
One of the biggest myths about talking about sex in therapy is that you have to walk in and immediately tell your therapist your deepest secrets. That is absolutely false.
You can start small:
“I’ve been struggling with intimacy lately.”
“There’s something sexual I want to talk about but I’m nervous.”
“I feel embarrassed even bringing this up.”
That alone gives your therapist a starting point. A good therapist will move at your pace.
Therapy Can Help You Feel Less Shame Around Sex
At Cinco Ranch Counseling Center, we’ve worked with clients who thought they were “broken,” “weird,” or “bad” because of sexual concerns—and they were none of those things.
With support, people can improve communication, heal shame, feel more confident, and build healthier relationships with themselves and others.
There is hope, and you do not have to figure this out alone.
Begin therapy for sexual concerns in Katy, TX!
If you are ready to start talking about sex in therapy, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide sex therapy, as well as other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
- Contact our office to set up an appointment or to learn more information
- Meet with one of our knowledgeable therapists
- Find ways to thrive through therapy today!
Other Therapy Services We Offer:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
