Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch
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By: Jessica Johns-Green, MA, LPC What does the family you grew up in have to do with eating disorders later in life? Clients often recognize the difficulties in their families, but the eating disorder starts later on. Binge eating, bulimia and anorexia can be seen as another problem on top of the family issues you’ve […]
What does the family you grew up in have to do with eating disorders later in life? Clients often recognize the difficulties in their families, but the eating disorder starts later on. Binge eating, bulimia and anorexia can be seen as another problem on top of the family issues you’ve had to cope with, rather than an understandable outcome of the family dynamics. There may be more predictable links than you realize.
Understanding the specific dynamics in your family might be an important aspect of your personal growth or therapy work. But for now, when I refer to difficult or toxic family dynamics, it may be one, some or many of the following:
For more information on typical toxic family styles 7 Toxic Family Styles, Patrick Teahan
In reading the above list, it probably seems understandable that people who grew up in situations like those listed would have some issues to heal. But how do eating disorders fit in?
The Link Between Toxic Families and Eating DisordersWhat all the family issues on the list have in common are that they are overwhelming. There is an emotional overwhelming-ness to them, but it is important to also understand that the nervous system – our brain and it’s network of connections throughout the body – also become overwhelmed.
People, and children in particular, need a sense of connection and safety. When we don’t get that, our nervous system will go into alert – kind of like a fire alarm going off to warn of danger. This in itself is not a problem, because once the overwhelming thing is over the alarm switches off and we get on with life feeling normal again. But, in toxic families where the overwhelming situations are the norm, or where the people that should make us feel safe -our parents – are the ones who are making the alarm go off, we have to find another way to switch off, return to calm and normality.
The nervous system operates best within a zone of tolerance, cycling between action and rest. Alertness and calm. Trauma, toxic family dynamics send us far above the normal alert state and when the alarm doesn’t switch off our bodies will look for ways to detach, numb. We may even fight back, avoid or escape – mentally or physically.
How Food Behaviors Help Regulate and Can Lead To Eating DisordersFood is an accessible and easy way to accomplish all the survival strategies that cope with the dysfunction and the internal alarm system. When we’ve been too much in action/alert mode it doesn’t feel good, we’ll be drawn towards calming. Overeating, binging can encourage the nervous system to numb, to quiet the alarm. If we’ve been too numb, it also doesn’t feel good and we’ll seek to balance out. Restricting and purging (vomiting, laxative use, over-exercise) bring us up out of the numb state.
Food behavior probably doesn’t happen directly after a traumatic event with your family, although it might. Typically it doesn’t come about until we are old enough to make choices about our food, and it can worsen in adulthood during times of stress or when we notice similar patterns, even if we haven’t yet been able to identify those patterns yet. When food or restricting food works to lessen the overwhelming experience in life and in the nervous system, we are likely to return to it, especially if we are confused about why we feel this way and don’t have other, healthier ways to cope.
Struggling with your relationship with food and ready to find a way forward? Ready to heal and gain power over these kinds of issues? The therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Julie Sekachev, M, Ed., LPC Associate Do you struggle with getting organized for back to school? Does going back to school or college seem overwhelming? Do you struggle to stay organized and have a hard time finishing tasks? Keeping things organized is very important for our brains to function effectively. Clutter can create unnecessary […]
Do you struggle with getting organized for back to school? Does going back to school or college seem overwhelming? Do you struggle to stay organized and have a hard time finishing tasks? Keeping things organized is very important for our brains to function effectively. Clutter can create unnecessary stimuli for your brain to have to process, using up your mental energy and leaving you drained.
Being organized is a learned skill you can develop through healthy habits. The most important thing to keep in mind when organizing your environment is effort and commitment. Read below for ways to get rid of the overwhelm and organize your space.
https://clockify.me/blog/productivity/time-blocking-planner-templates/. Time blocking helps you decide your priorities of the day and get more accomplished vs. to do lists that do not have time bound deadlines.
https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/home/organizing/a25846191/what-is-the-konmari-method/
Accomplish More With An Organized SpaceOrganization can help you gain a sense of control, accomplishment, and pride over your work and environment. Organization leads to higher efficiency in accomplishing day to day chores and projects. Furthermore, if you can create a system to stay organized, whether decluttering regularly or committing to finishing assignments the day you intended, you will actually gain more time to spend with friends or doing other things you enjoy. I want to encourage you this coming school year to make a commitment to yourself and begin! Your future self will thank you.
If you are feeling overwhelmed and want help to get organized and feel less overwhelmed, the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Janelle Schlueter, MS, LPC, NCC, CCTP Getting trauma counseling can be scary and overwhelming. Have you wondered what makes counseling for trauma different from ‘regular’ counseling? Well, simply put, a lot. As a therapist who is also a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, I have noted a few frequently asked questions that may help ease […]
Getting trauma counseling can be scary and overwhelming. Have you wondered what makes counseling for trauma different from ‘regular’ counseling? Well, simply put, a lot. As a therapist who is also a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, I have noted a few frequently asked questions that may help ease some anxiety about seeking counseling for trauma.
If you feel that your trauma is the most significant issue affecting your life then it is recommended you see a therapist who has specialized training in the area of trauma. Keep in mind that all therapists have had some training to help with trauma so you may not need to see a ‘trauma specialist’. I have explained this to clients like this: Picture the medical field. Counselors are like the primary care physician who is familiar with most everything and trauma therapists are for more specified treatment like a cardiologist who specializes in specific issues with the heart. The most important thing to consider when choosing a therapist is that you feel comfortable and heard!
Do I have to talk about my trauma(s)?As with any counseling, you do not have to do anything! This is especially true with trauma counseling. Trauma counseling is client-led which means you are in charge of how fast paced the treatment goes and what you are comfortable discussing. Also, trauma therapists are trained to help heal from trauma without having you ‘re-live’ your experiences.
Counseling of any kind is not ‘cookie cutter’. Every client’s treatment plan is unique to their goals and needs. With trauma counseling you can expect to be in weekly counseling sessions for about 4-6 weeks. This time is often used to build skills and learn about how trauma is affecting your life. Typically, around the 4-6 week mark, the therapist and client will discuss progress and possibly go to every other week sessions. By no means is any counseling (specifically trauma counseling) a ‘quick’ process.
Not necessarily! Everyone has had some form of trauma in their life. Even though everyone has experienced some trauma, not everyone has PTSD. A PTSD diagnosis comes from the client’s inability to heal from the trauma(s) and struggle with long term symptoms that interfere with daily life. There are also other diagnoses for someone struggling with trauma besides PTSD.
My hope is that these FAQ’s give you the answers you need to seek help for your trauma. If there are other questions you have about trauma counseling, contact Janelle at the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch and she will do her best to answer them for you.
If you are struggling with trauma, counseling with a licensed professional can help.
If you are ready heal from trauma, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling for men and women and we do have a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Julie Sekachev, M. Ed, LPC Associate Divorce can be a difficult and life changing event in your child’s life. By helping your child navigate this uncertain time and utilizing some tips below you can help them process what is happening in a healthy way. How To Talk To Your Child About Divorce Make sure […]
Divorce can be a difficult and life changing event in your child’s life. By helping your child navigate this uncertain time and utilizing some tips below you can help them process what is happening in a healthy way.
to do that, and this is the best decision. Validate that your child is going through a difficult change. If you are ready to find help for yourself or your child, the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Margie Frisco, Life Coach Are you feeling stuck in life? Many times throughout our lifetime we can feel stuck. This can be in our job, love life, family, or just general life. It can feel like life is passing you by. There are several ways you can engage in your own life to help […]
Are you feeling stuck in life? Many times throughout our lifetime we can feel stuck. This can be in our job, love life, family, or just general life. It can feel like life is passing you by. There are several ways you can engage in your own life to help you feel more satisfied.
May times in life we can live in the past, creating us to either beat ourselves up or dwell on things we wish we could change. Or some of us worry about what may or may not happen. This thought process can hold us back from what is happening right in front of us. For example, many of us worry about money or bills. We must focus on things that we have control over us. The stress of money will be there for most of us throughout our lives. While we are worrying about what might happen or what could happen things are still moving in front of us, like our children, friends, and family. Remember to take time to enjoy those moments in front of us like laughing with our friends, the bright sunny day, or the love we have for those around us. Instead of focusing on things we cannot control, focus on things we can control like being present in everyday life. 
If you see something you want to change, make small goals to lead up to a larger goal. For example, if you are not happy in your job, set smaller goals to help you get to reach a goal of finding a new job, preparing for retirement, or learning a new trade. Make sure your goals are measurable. This means make sure you can recognize when you have reached these goals and congratulate yourself once you obtain those goals. Going forward with the job example and let’s assume you want to find a new job. Start small with making resumes that can help you find different options for employment. Once you are done with that, celebrate with an accomplishment. Then move on to the applying stage and progress on.
If you are struggling with feeling “I can’t do this,” think of what is holding you back from making changes. This can be very common to have barriers to go through first. Recognizing and finding resolution for this block will be pivotal in helping you move forward.
Make sure when you are setting goals that you can reach. Everyone has limits and that is ok. Everyone’s limit can be different. That does not make yours wrong for you. It is ok to work within what you need. Don’t get me wrong, you can challenge yourself. But expecting to become an astronaut in one week might be tricky if you are starting at the beginning. When setting goals, take into consideration where you are and realistically how to accomplish your goals.
Once you have set the goals and found what is keeping you from obtaining these goals, make the change. If we keep doing the same thing and want to see change, it can be very difficult. Action is required here. We 
must change our behaviors to see a change in our surroundings.
Once you have put in the work and made the change, celebrate it! This can be small or big, whatever you want it to be. But it is important to give yourself some credit for all of the hard work you have done!
If you are ready to improve your life, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide individual counseling as well as other services. To begin individual counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC Associate Do you find yourself arguing over money, communication, who will do the chores, jealousy, or how to spend each other’s free time? If so, you are not alone. All happy couples argue about something. However, the key is to develop skills needed to manage conflict effectively. How happy you […]
Do you find yourself arguing over money, communication, who will do the chores, jealousy, or how to spend each other’s free time? If so, you are not alone. All happy couples argue about something. However, the key is to develop skills needed to manage conflict effectively. How happy you are as a couple will depend on how you resolve things you disagree on and how well you understand your partner’s perspective.
Conflict occurs when two parties have a different understanding or position on an important issue. Conflict in marriage is inevitable, and completely normal.
Some common misconceptions about conflict are that it is irreparable, should be avoided, and that it signals that the relationship is doomed to fail. These thinking errors can lead to suppressing our wants and desires in order to avoid an argument, which can be unhealthy and lead to resentment. Conflict can help you understand your partner’s inner world and having the tools to resolve it can help your relationship thrive.
Some Skills In Couples Counseling To Help Resolve ConflictWhen conflict arises avoid using “you statements” which can lead to your partner becoming defensive, practice speaking from this formula instead “I feel…about what…I need.” Describe what is happening from your perspective. Listen with the intent to understand, use validating statements to express empathy such as “I get it, I can see why this upsets you” or “that makes sense that you would feel that way.”
Accepting your partner’s influence can help you build a positive perspective of one another. Practice accepting influence by recognizing that sometimes your partner has good ideas and trying some of them out can help build mutual respect. Take this quiz to see where you stand when it comes to accepting influence from one another:
Love Quiz: Do You and Your Partner Accept Each Other’s Influence?
De-escalate heightened emotions and reduce tension. Firstly, you can start by asking your partner questions like “I don’t feel like you understand me right now, let me try again” or “I’m sorry, I can see my part in this.” Remember to pause if things begin to feel overwhelming by asking to take a break and agreeing on a time to return to discussion after you both had a chance to calm down.
Conflict can help us understand our partner. Asking the right questions during an argument can lead to a deeper understanding of your partner’s inner world. Learning to recognize and explore your partner’s dreams can help you both move through conflict effectively. For instance, asking your partner questions may help you understand them and the situation better.
Some questions you can ask to gain understanding:
Make a list of your core needs and areas of flexibility, ask your partner to do the same. Help each other understand why your core needs are important to you. Work with your partner to find common ground and compromise on your areas of flexibility. Remember compromise will never feel perfect, the key is that you both feel understood and respected in the process.
Couples Counseling Can Help You Resolve ConflictEvery relationship can benefit from couples counseling. Couples counseling is not just for relationships at the brink of falling apart. Couples therapy can help any partnership that needs help navigating conflict. A skilled couples therapist can guide you in identifying the sources of conflict and help you develop the skills you need to improve your communication!
You can also work on specific goals that will help you and your partner establish patterns of emotional and sexual connection that can improve the overall quality of your relationship. If you are stuck in conflict with your partner and would like help getting unstuck, please give us a call at the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch. We would love to help you cultivate a happy and meaningful relationship with your partner.
If you are ready to improve your relationship, one of the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide couple’s counseling as well as other services. To begin couples counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Carey Robey, MS, LPC While conflicts are a normal part of any relationship, they can often lead to arguments and fights that increase our stress and anxiety and can cause rifts in our relationships. Learning conflict resolution skills can assist you in maintaining healthy boundaries, increase healthy communication skills, and lead you to improved […]
While conflicts are a normal part of any relationship, they can often lead to arguments and fights that increase our stress and anxiety and can cause rifts in our relationships. Learning conflict resolution skills can assist you in maintaining healthy boundaries, increase healthy communication skills, and lead you to improved relationships. These are a few tips you can start utilizing today to resolve conflicts in a healthy way and keep relationships and mental health strong.
A Few Ways To Have Healthy Conflict ResolutionFirstly, remember that a conflict is a disagreement. Sometimes these disagreements may be big, but make the relationship the priority. Conflicts continue to fester when they are ignored. Be sure that you do not fear addressing the issue. Ignoring a problem, whether real or perceived, can lead to resentment. When addressing the problem, be sure you are in a calm and open state of mind.
If you need a few minutes to collect yourself, take the time to do so. This avoids things getting heated and the potential of someone losing control. Some conflicts may trigger strong emotions and it is important that we prepare for this- be mindful and recall your coping skills.
Secondly, it is essential that we understand and state our needs when trying to resolve conflicts and work towards being understanding and compassionate to the needs of others. Be aware of how and what you are communicating and avoid any disrespectful words or comments- also, facial expressions! If you notice the urge to engage in this, it’s time for a break.
Let whomever you are in conflict with know you need a few minutes, but will return to resolve the issue later. While you may be tempted to not return, it is important to do so to allow for resolution and avoid any chance of resentment or pent up negative feelings later. When communicating with the person you are in conflict with, be sure to focus on facts and express your feelings; try to avoid placing blame.
Remember it is okay to agree to disagree. There may be times when conflicts are not resolved in the way you’d prefer. Think of what your responsibility is in the situation and what you have control over. Is there anything you can do to improve your circumstance?
Resolving conflicts in a healthy way provides opportunity for self-growth and can lead to stronger and healthier relationships. If you notice conflict being frequent, try to notice causes. When we can recognize the cause of a conflict, we can work towards avoiding it. Remember to utilize coping skills if things get heated. Do not be afraid to take a time-out. Need more tips? Come in for therapy to work on how to better manage emotions, assert boundaries, and increase healthy communication.
If you are ready to find relief from conflict in your relationship, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide therapy to people of all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer treatment services for adults, teens, kids, couples and families. We offer counseling services in trauma counseling, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, depression treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Carey Robey, MS, LPC Well, it’s finally summer and for many of you that means things are slowing down. Now that life has let up some, it is a good time to check on your self-care. Lately, I have had many clients responding that when they think of self-care, they think of treating themselves […]
Well, it’s finally summer and for many of you that means things are slowing down. Now that life has let up some, it is a good time to check on your self-care. Lately, I have had many clients responding that when they think of self-care, they think of treating themselves or pampering themselves.
While it is important to treat and pamper yourself when given the opportunity, it is really important we are not forgetting the daily tasks we should be doing to make sure we are taking the best care we can of ourselves and ensuring good well-being. Oftentimes, we forget how many simple daily activities are involved in practicing good self-care. So- let’s review!
Different areas of self-care include physical, psychological, social, occupational, and spiritual.
Physical self-care is very basic and includes things like eating healthy, drinking plenty of water, having good sleep, good hygiene, and engaging in physical activities. We are told to do these things time and time again, and that is because of the tremendous positive impact it can have if you do so!
Make the time and space for these adjustments for they can lead to big changes. For instance, take a walk around the block, drink an extra glass of water, go to bed thirty minutes early, add some greens to your plate! Think of where you can improve the physical aspects of self-care in your daily life.
Psychological self-care includes tending to our mental and emotional health. Seeking therapy is a great way to do this; one can also be checking in daily with themselves, express emotions in a healthy way, self-reflect, take a break from distractions, and minimize stress wherever you can. Doing things that bring you comfort like watching your favorite movie, reading a book, taking a bath, or engaging in your hobbies is another great way to practice emotional self-care.
Social self-care involves utilizing your supports and making sure you have positive and healthy relationships. Schedule time with others when you need it; stay in contact and ask for help; remember to keep up healthy boundaries. Make sure you are spending time with those that make you feel good about yourself!
Occupational self-care involves having a good work/life balance; you can practice this by taking breaks, setting limits with colleagues and responsibilities, delegating tasks, or asking for help, keeping a comfortable work space, and negotiating for your needs.
Spiritual Self-CareLastly, spiritual self-care includes making time for reflection, spending time in nature, finding hope, being open, meditating, praying, and practicing gratitude.
How did you do? If you are noticing that a lot of these areas are lacking, or you found that you don’t do many of these tasks, it may be time for you to increase your self-care. Periodically, I feel this happens to all of us. We get busy and forget to do the little things that promote positive well-being.
Get Focused on Yourself Today!Give some of these ideas a try and test how it affects your overall contentment. If you need help determining more things you can do to work on your self-care, or perhaps reasons why self-care may be lacking, come see me for therapy! It is important to consider reasons why one may not be making themselves a priority. I hope this has given you something to think about. Remember, small changes can make a big impact. Be kind to yourself and do what you can now to treat yourself well!
If you are ready to find ways to promote your self-care, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide therapy to people of all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer treatment services for adults, teens, kids, couples and families. Our counseling services include: trauma counseling, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, depression treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
How social media affects your mental health is a question we should all be asking ourselves. Checking my social media has become as important as checking my emails. It’s a daily thing, and it is useful. But is there a point where social media is unhelpful, or even harmful? Increasingly, research is saying that there […]
How social media affects your mental health is a question we should all be asking ourselves. Checking my social media has become as important as checking my emails. It’s a daily thing, and it is useful. But is there a point where social media is unhelpful, or even harmful? Increasingly, research is saying that there is a destructive side to social media use that can impact our mental health.
Our mood and style of thinking work together. Sometimes for our benefit, and sometimes against us. One key hallmark of depression is hopelessness. There is no point, even to things that once made us happy. This style of thinking is thought to be influenced by neurobiological states that are commonly observed in depressed individuals. For instance, when thoughts are heavily biased towards negative, hopeless themes, people report feeling less able to work, engage in healthy relationships and take care of their physical needs.
Social media encourages comparison. However, not always healthy, realistic comparisons. All we see are people looking happy, doing great stuff or seeming very successful. It can feel like this is reality. That everyone is happy and finding success easily.
What we don’t see are the hidden truths. The photoshop edits, the failures, the crippling self doubt. But what if we did? People may experience less depressive symptoms and suicidal thoughts. A 2015 study found that 67% of young people questioned felt worse about their lives because of social media. Read more on the study here https://www.healio.com/news/psychiatry/20201005/social-media-use-may-play-important-role-in-youth-suicide-expert-says
In anxiety, the thought patterns activate the threat centers of our brain. This threat kicks off a chain reaction of physical and psychological events that we experience as anxiety or panic. Anxiety is often linked to the idea that something bad will happen. The feelings it creates in our bodies are the same kinds of feelings we would get if we were being chased by a tiger in the jungle. Only now there is no tiger. Instead, the threat is that we are not enough, we are not liked, we might fail, we might be rejected.
Moreover, social media provides a ready source for lots of things to worry about. As well as a trigger for the kinds of perfectionistic tendencies that regularly mess with our mental health. Read more about perfectionism here https://cincoranchcounseling.com/the-price-of-perfectionism-and-4-ways-to-set-yourself-free/ Social media is also a way to escape, avoid and numb feelings. Getting drawn into endless scrolling can be a way to temporarily calm the anxiety. Unfortunately, this escape strategy only makes the anxiety worse in the long run (see the last section of this blog for more on this topic).
Eating Disorders and Body ImageSocial media is a prime platform for diet culture to infiltrate your mind. From being sold quick fixes like diet teas, detox plans and supplements to workout routines from so-called professionals that promise the impossible. It is very challenging to remember while scrolling that much of what we see is contrived with lighting and angles, digital perfected, filtered or even flat-out fake. It’s no surprise that people struggling with an eating disorder are likely to be negatively affected by the information flowing to them through their feed. Read more on how social media influences eating disorders here https://clementineprograms.com/social-media-trigger-eating-disorder/
However, our friends with eating disorders are not the only ones suffering. A study by FHE Health found that 87% of women and 65% of men compare their bodies to the bodies they see on social media. And of those, 50% of women and 36% of men rated their bodies less favorably than the social media bodies. Read more on this study here https://fherehab.com/news/bodypositive/
All this comparison is unhealthy. It is unfair to what our bodies really are and how real bodies look. Many people are drawn into the diet culture and compare. The result? Often poor eating habits, mood problems, unhealthy relationships with food and weight gain.
Technology AddictionThe world can be a tough and confusing place. Our phones and social media provide an escape. When we feel anxious, our bodies will drive us to things that help numb, distract and escape. For example, some might escape through alcohol, food or shopping. Things that give a quick hit of nice feelings. We want to feel better, but without dealing with the anxiety itself, we become hooked on the quick hit of nice feelings.
Furthermore, social media, technology and smartphones can work in this same way. Rather than talk to others, be alone with our thoughts or deal with a difficult issue we’re facing we can scroll away, get drawn into the pictures, sounds and excitement of someone else, something else. In the long run, the quick hit of nice feelings becomes a problem in itself to overcome.
Is social media not the fun thing it use to be? Try these 3 approaches to rebalance your relationship with it:
Firstly, is seeing the stranger you follow with the impossibly thin waist and perfect round glutes making you feel better or worse? It’s not inspiration if it doesn’t leave you feeling hopeful, alive and worthy. Be brave enough to mute or unfollow. Good news is that not every page or influencer is about shaming and unrealistic standards. So, seek out the pages of people who are giving healthy messages. Not the quick fixes, body shame or starvation.
Secondly, take some time to be in the world, without a screen between you and everything. Leave the phone in your bag, pocket or even at home sometimes. It’s usually a healthy step to limit the amount of time spent on social media, particularly if your mood is struggling. Set yourself time limits. Use your phone’s timer to introduce balance.
Finally, ask yourself why! Understanding why you scroll is a valuable skill and a great step to a healthier relationship with social media. Are you bored? Procrastinating? Lonely? Is there something you’re looking for? Are you feeling relaxed or tense? Be more in tune with your motivations for scrolling. This will help you set new intentions leading to better mental health and wellness.
Are you ready to feel like your best self? The therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling for kids, adults, couples, and groups. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Julie, Sekachev, M. Ed, LPC Associate Do you struggle with perfectionism? Do you find yourself chasing impossible standards? Striving for that “perfect” body, that Pinterest dream house, exceptional grades, a promotion at work, etc. You almost feel like success is just around the corner, that if you only get that next big thing you […]
Do you struggle with perfectionism? Do you find yourself chasing impossible standards? Striving for that “perfect” body, that Pinterest dream house, exceptional grades, a promotion at work, etc. You almost feel like success is just around the corner, that if you only get that next big thing you can relax, but it seems like that “it” is something outside of yourself that you never quite reach. Sometimes the expectations you put on yourself and others are so high that you often find yourself procrastinating out of fear of failure. If you constantly find yourself criticizing yourself or others, read on to discover ways to break free.
What is perfectionism?Perfectionism is the need to be or appear perfect. Perfectionism can happen when we place pressure on ourselves or others to live up to impossible standards we create. Striving for perfectionism can be stressful and can lead to burnout, lack of motivation, anxiety, fatigue, and procrastination.
There is nothing wrong with setting goals and expectations, but when we are highly self-critical or negative, even after our goals are met, we can run into problems.
Setting impossible standards can lead to hopelessness because we cannot accomplish what we expect of ourselves because perfection does not exist.
Perfection can also lead to negative self-talk. You may begin to think “What is wrong with me?” Or “Why can’t I keep up” but the reality is that even if perfection was achieved at a certain point, standards for what is perfect may change over time.
When we chase impossible standards, we may begin to avoid challenges all together, or do things we already know we are good at, which can stop our creativity.
Expecting perfection of others can cause us to appear judgmental and not accepting of other’s flaws which make them truly unique. Our relationships with others can also be affected because we are not being genuine, but just appearing to others how we think they want us to look or be.
Daring to be Imperfect: Tips to Break FreeWhat will it mean to you when you reach the perfect job, weight, etc. what does that say about you? Focusing on your inner needs can help you understand what you are truly after. Make a list and explore what your values are, what are you trying to avoid, what are the consequences of perfectionism, what are you losing (time with friends, sleep, well-being, etc.). Evaluate the costs of chasing perfection and think of some benefits of modifying your expectations.
Pick an activity that you enjoy and be mindful of staying in the present moment. Let go of the need to share your results with others. For example, if you enjoy drawing, try to draw just for the way it makes you feel, not for the validation others may give your finished drawing. Allowing for imperfect time can also help you connect with others. When you share your vulnerabilities, you give others permission to do the same allowing room for connection. 
Make a list of your good qualities, are you a kind person? Helpful to others? Do you take risks? Are you courageous? Focusing on these qualities can help you realize that you are already good enough, and you don’t need to chase things outside of yourself to complete you.
Notice moments when you are being hard on yourself. Look for “should statements” in your expectations of yourself and others. Statements like “I should have done better” or “I should always be my best” can cause low self-esteem and depression. Instead of these rigid statements try to look at yourself as a dynamic person, always evolving and growing. Changing the way we look at mistakes and setbacks can help fuel our motivation for progress, not perfection.
If you are ready to feel like your best self, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling for men and women, as well as group counseling. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Other Therapy Services We Offer
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!