Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch
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By: Tara Kong, MS, NCC, LPC- Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, LPC-S For many people Christmas time brings joy, cheer, time spent with friends and family, good food, and fun times. But for many others the holiday season can bring sadness, depression, feelings of loneliness, and anxiety during the holidays. If this describes you, know […]
By: Tara Kong, MS, NCC, LPC- Associate
Supervised by Melissa Barton, LPC-S
For many people Christmas time brings joy, cheer, time spent with friends and family, good food, and
fun times. But for many others the holiday season can bring sadness, depression, feelings of loneliness, and anxiety during the holidays. If this describes you, know that you are not alone, and Christmas depression is common for many people. So, if you are not feeling the holiday spirit, here are some tips and suggestions that will hopefully help.
Most of us have that one person we would like to avoid around family gatherings. Whether it’s a cousin, aunt, or uncle who is overbearing, a know-it-all, or abuses the alcohol, these things can drive us crazy, sometimes bring up bad memories, and cause extra anxiety during the holidays. Here are some steps you can take when dealing with a difficult relative or friend: Go to the gathering but allow yourself the freedom to leave if the situation starts to become stressful. Setting limits and boundaries is perfectly acceptable and you don’t need to justify your actions. Another option to not go to the gathering and find something else to do. You could get together with friends or volunteer somewhere. It can help to confide in a trusted family member to help you deal with the certain individual and help you avoid spending too much time with them. Lastly, realize that you can only control yourself and your own actions. Sometimes other people’s actions and words can feel personal, try not to take it to heart, and move forward.
Some people don’t have family nearby and the holidays can bring on feelings of loneliness, depression, and anxiety during the holidays. When we isolate ourselves, the feelings of loneliness tend to increase. Even though it’s hard, resist the urge to withdraw. Try getting out once a day. Whether it’s to go for a walk, get a cup of coffee, or meet up with a friend. Start a new hobby or try something you’ve always wanted to do. Volunteer somewhere. By helping and engaging with others it will help you find more meaning and joy. If you are an animal lover, think about fostering a dog or cat over the holidays. Animals bring
companionship and allows them to have a home for a time. Create new traditions and experiences.
Bake cookies for first responders or nursing home residents. This can also be a good time to reach out
and connect with friends who may be feeling lonely as well.
Realize the present is all we have. Worrying about the past or future does not help. The only thing you
can change is yourself in the current moment. If you are feeling anxiety or depression, remember you
are in control of if you continue to participate in negative or worrisome thoughts. You can choose what you think about by practicing mindfulness and staying in the present. For some people meditation and prayer helps alleviate feelings of anxiety and depression. Make time to take care of yourself by doing things you enjoy, eating healthy, drinking water, and getting enough rest.
If you are ready to learn how to cope better with feelings of anxiety or depression, one
of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling and mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, Texas, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Ally Hoffman, MA, LPC-Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, LPC-S The holiday season is near, which means fall and all of the great things that tend to come with it: cooler weather, seasonal treats, seasonal self-care, and family time! Then again, there is also the stressful part of this season: physical changes in response […]
By: Ally Hoffman, MA, LPC-Associate
Supervised by Melissa Barton, LPC-S
The holiday season is near, which means fall and all of the great things that tend to come with it: cooler weather, seasonal treats, seasonal self-care, and family time! Then again, there is also the stressful part of this season: physical changes in response to colder weather, food-focused events, and (you guessed it) family time. Let’s face it, all of these things are just a little bittersweet during this season because of the side effects that come with all of the good! As a means to help alleviate the stress so you can be fully present to enjoy the good, it can help to incorporate some self-care and coping ahead!
We have all been there, coordinating the schedules, planning the meals, and dealing with the emotional roller coaster that comes with the logistics of getting a group of people together all in one place. While holidays are meant for celebrating, sometimes we can lose track of the fun and connection in the process of trying to manage it all. That’s why it is essential to take care of yourself before, during, and after to the holiday season! Self-care during this season might seem a little selfish at first. However, in order to be selfless, we’ve got to acquire the resources for ourselves to then be able to share! Come on, you know the cliché – you can’t pour from an empty cup!
Sometimes the seasons just have a way of hitting us a little differently. Some individuals might even suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). According to the National Institute of Mental Health, “People may start to feel “down” when the days get shorter in the fall and winter (also called “winter blues”) and begin to feel better in the spring, with longer daylight hours.” That is why it is absolutely essential to take extra care of yourself during this time! Self-care in the holiday season can look like scheduling in and prioritizing doing the things you enjoy, setting healthy boundaries with loved ones, creating moments for movement, and fueling your body!
Fall is notorious for spending time thinking about how we can connect, celebrate, and cherish one
another. It is not often that we think about serving ourselves during this season! By increasing our self-awareness and honing in on how to meet our needs, we will be better able to attend to others and help to meet some of their needs. In offering ourselves compassion, we can then pass more of it to others as that act of self-kindness inherently breeds patience within ourselves. In fact, in doing so, will likely improve relationships and communication patterns with our loved ones! Consider making a list of what you would like to accomplish this holiday season and try to adjust your planning accordingly.
Once we evaluate what it is that we are wanting or needing and setting it as a priority, we are able to move forward in asking others to respect the limitations to which we can meet their requests of us! Prentis Hemphill defines boundaries as “…the distance at which I can love you [others] and me [myself] simultaneously.” During the holiday season, boundaries might look like setting time limits for how long you are able to stay somewhere, limiting how many events you might be able to realistically attend, limiting time in stressful situations, redirecting unproductive conversations, and more! Some of these limits protect us and our loved ones from being disappointed due to unmet expectations. By sharing our limits with our loved ones, we are kindly letting them know what we are capable of given the circumstances.
Due to the fact that we often focus on our own needs last during this time, we might run into some abnormal eating patterns – especially, in that the winter is heavily flooded with food- focused events. Our in-house eating disorder specialist put it best, “When life feels unmanageable, we often use food as a tool to distract us, or soothe us, or sometimes even both.” By practicing mindfulness, we can make it a point to prioritize nourishing ourselves in a healthy manner and incorporating movement into our memories! We can put these ideas into practice by taking a moment to thoughtfully consider whether you are plating well-balanced meals, getting out for a walk, playing in the yard during downtime, responding appropriately to hunger cues, considering where your food is being sourced from, and listening to our body when it says we are full!
Looking to learn more about how to care for yourself during the holiday season, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, Texas, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Margie Frisco, MA, LPC-Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, LPC-S Your parenting style can directly influence what you do when you are parenting. Let’s get real. Parenting is hard! Kids do not come with manuals. Sometimes it can feel like we are flying by the seat of our pants. Let’s explore different ways to parent. […]
By: Margie Frisco, MA, LPC-Associate
Supervised by Melissa Barton, LPC-S
Your parenting style can directly influence what you do when you are parenting. Let’s get real. Parenting is hard! Kids do not come with manuals. Sometimes it can feel like we are flying by the seat of our pants. Let’s explore different ways to parent.
Parenting styles are different ways to parent a child. Some can be more effective than others. But each style can change how your child develops and grows emotionally and socially.
There are four different parenting styles: authoritarian, permissive, dismissive, and authoritative. Each type has a set of attitudes, strategies, and behaviors that directly impact the child and the child-parent relationship. See below to explore each style and how it can affect your child.
This parenting style is more direct, stern, and structured. Parents in this style typically have high expectations, little warmth, and severe punishments. This can impact the child in a way that teaches them to be more withdrawn and shut down. The child learns when they do something wrong, not necessarily that the behavior was bad, but that the parent will get mad.
Most children typically do self-soothing from time to time. The lack of conversation and more direct ruling makes the warmth low. When the warmth is low, the child is left to self-soothe. In excess, this can cause the child to feel unsafe in their own homes.
This parenting style is the opposite of authoritarian. Permissive parenting is being more of the child’s friend. These parents’ behaviors are typically no rules, inconsistency from the parent, low expectations, and high warmth.
These behaviors teach a child that there is a lack of consequences for their actions. The child can begin to act more immaturely, lack of discovery, and have low self-esteem. When the child misbehaves in this parenting style, there are few consequences.
This parenting style is more of a lack of parenting. The parents are more uninvolved. This can impact the child’s behaviors by creating indifference, less self-control, and relationship difficulties.
Children who grow up in a dismissive home tend to have difficulties with relationships because they do not get a chance to have a healthy bond with their parents. They also do not really understand following directions and boundaries because, again, they did not have any growing up.
Finally, this parenting style has warmth, expectations, and clear consequences. This parenting style is mainly different due to talking things out. For example, authoritarianism has clear rules with harsh punishments. Whereas authoritative talk through the issue. There could be a punishment, but the parent talks through calmly about why the child did the behavior and why the discipline must be enforced.
Children do not have a brain with analytical thought yet. What I mean by this is that they might not understand why their electronics are taken away a week later other than their behavior made their parents mad. Each age level is different in their comprehension of the situation. But remember, if we talk things out to help them understand, it can be helpful for you and them.
Each parenting style is different. How we as parents react to situations influences our children. Parenting styles can help teach children where they can feel safe and who they can talk to. Allowing your child to begin to think through their actions can help the child in the long run!
If you would like more help with parenting styles, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, Texas, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Katherine Lickteig, MA, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S What are Boundaries? Understanding and Creating boundaries is one of the best ways to keep your emotional energy. In Relationships they allow people to learn when to say yes and when to say no to others and yourself. It can also help define […]
Understanding and Creating boundaries is one of the best ways to keep your emotional energy. In Relationships they allow people to learn when to say yes and when to say no to others and yourself. It can also help define the people and things you allow in your life. Most of all, they help you set a rule on how others can treat you.
A boundary is an invisible line a person can draw around themselves that will help to identify acceptable and unacceptable behavior. The beauty of this is that you can change and adapt to them. Some people love boundaries because they represent structure, order, and rules. Others see them as limits that are annoying or frustrating. They struggle to see that there can be no gray areas. They see things only in black and white. Psychological distress can result from overly rigid or overly loose limits. An essential part of mental health is deciding on the correct number of boundaries and understanding these for your own life and have a sense control.
They control the area around your body. It allows you to decide who can come into your personal space and who cannot. They help you decide what type of affection you are comfortable with. Do you like it a lot, or are you more reserved and like just a little?
Do you have an open mind? Can you be flexible, or is everything black or white? People with weak mental boundaries tend to react in an overly emotional manner. They will often become defensive or rigid and may even become combative.
It is ok to agree to disagree with a person. These help you recognize that you are not to blame for other people being upset. Guilt should not rule your life. You have a choice in every situation if you choose to exercise that right.
Money can be a struggle for a lot of people. Setting financial limits can help you decide how you will and will not handle money. These limits also determine how and what you choose to spend on material goods and experiences.
Some great examples are not accepting intolerant attitudes from others or refusing to put up with lying and cheating. These boundaries help to set what deserves moral consideration.
These help you decide what fits your comfort level when it comes to your sexual life.
These do not only pertain to God, another deity, or a supernatural being. These should be clear limits that govern our beliefs and how we put those beliefs into practice.
Boundaries are difficult for most people. They are tough for people that were raised by parents who are overly harsh or overly permissive with discipline. Even for those who simply have a hard time understanding boundaries. Trauma in your childhood may also make you more willing to tolerate unhealthy behaviors from others. The good news is that you are now an adult with control over your life.
If you are ready to learn how to implement boundaries, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling and mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Jessica Johns-Green, MA, LPC 5 Misconceptions about the Effects of Trauma 5 misconceptions about the effects of trauma! What are they? Let’s talk about it! When the unthinkable happens, our body is built to survive. The nervous system goes into high gear, employing its ingenious methods of getting us through to face another day. […]
5 misconceptions about the effects of trauma! What are they? Let’s talk about it!
When the unthinkable happens, our body is built to survive. The nervous system goes into high gear, employing its ingenious methods of getting us through to face another day. The idea that trauma affects us long afterward is widely accepted, but what the hangover of trauma looks like can seem confusing. Oftentimes you might have assumptions of what a traumatized person looks like. You might think they seem upset, afraid, shaky, teary, zoned out, or even dazed in a far-off memory from the past. While this can be, trauma and the nervous systems help, tends to look different than what is often expected. This is exactly where some of those top 5 misconceptions begin!
Misconceptions about trauma are essential. This is because the idea that we might not be that bad often keeps us trapped in trauma responses. We don’t look like the trembling heap in a corner that we believe trauma should look like. We may even be doing things that are opposite to every expectation. This is more common than most people imagine. Leading many people dealing with traumatic experiences to slip under the radar of even close friends and family. Follow along for five trauma coping styles that look different than what we commonly expect.
Out of the top 5 misconceptions, this one is a big one! Significant life events often drive big choices that lead to amazing things. Traumatizing events can be an invitation to see life differently. It can elevate us to new levels we would never have expected after hurt and pain. But there are functional and dysfunctional levels to this pattern. It can be helpful to take a new path, to be ourselves, or rediscover our purpose through trauma. On the other hand, being busy gives our brain little space to process the emotions keeping us trapped in a trauma response.
There are many rewards associated with putting the rest of life on hold and giving all our attention to a job, a responsibility, or a career. The balance between joy and work gets blurred when the balance tips from helpful to unhelpful. We can get burnt out or compromise healthy boundaries for achievement. We pin all our happiness and self-worth on doing things right – never being satisfied with good enough. And certainly not tolerating slacking off or failure.
Hard-work is praised and may carry rewards that make it attractive for more reasons than just its ability to distance us from traumatic responses. If we get caught in this response, it may feel like we are doing what is good for our family or us. It may not become apparent until later that all the hard work was a distraction – a way to fight off the alarm bell going off in our nervous system.
What we do with food can bring our nervous system back to life or switch it off, depending on what we need to cope with the effects of trauma. Food and eating patterns can be used to numb the nervous system when it’s overwhelmed. Food-related behaviors can also energize and revitalize when it’s detached and suppressed.
Like the rewards that blur the role of achievement as a trauma response, eating issues are linked with body image and body changes. The constant pressures we feel to fulfill a certain standard of appearance can become an intense focus that trauma will be forgotten. Additionally, society reinforces the concept of food as a comfort to the extent that we see it, as usual, to switch off emotions with food.
Like overworking and achievement, I have wondered with clients about the usefulness of being restless and hyperactive, especially when depression and pain are knocking at the door. Restriction of calories – not eating enough – takes an enormous amount of willpower and focus. In effect, our attentional tank gets used up on one thing leaving no room for unpleasant trauma to take up space. There are also theories that anorexia might cause nervous, restless energy; read more about that here.
It is difficult enough when we can pinpoint the thing that sets off the alarm bell in our nervous system. Even with cause, turning off the alarm is not always easy. There are also forms of trauma that are less obvious. The alarm bell rings so much that it feels average – even comfortable. When life is calm and chaos-free, it feels wrong and sets some in search of something to make it loud again. Risky sex, tumultuous relationships, adrenaline-fueled pursuits, dangerous sports, or even picking fights can be related to trauma.
Growing up in families that seem fine on the surface but where basic emotional needs are not met – when a parent withdraws, is self-absorbed, or unpredictable, among other things – can be common scenarios where children get used to the inner alarm bell ringing. In situations where chaos feels more normal than calm, sensation-seeking might be a trauma response.
Happy to sad to worried regularly? The ability to recognize and regulate emotion comes with a balanced nervous system. While it’s normal for emotions too fluctuate and not be predictable, it signals a problem. Especially if we regularly feel we are at the mercy of extreme mood variations.
The healthy wave of emotions has been thrown out of balance and extreme. It can often signify that the nervous system is swinging between high alert (fight/flight mode) and turning off (numb/submit mood). If there has been a source of trauma, it can be valuable to recognize these swings as the body’s attempt to regulate rather than us losing control. It will try to find ways to get us back down when it is super ramped up. At times, when we are not aware of what’s happening, we do things that make us overshoot and get low – which is uncomfortable and leads to a swing in the other direction. Developing emotional awareness and flexible real-world coping skills is valuable in these cases.
We have reached the last of the 5 misconceptions! While most people are familiar with the fight/flight response to anxiety and even trauma, we might be less aware of the term ‘fawn’ as a trauma response. We are biologically geared to attach to others as a way to create safety. Babies look for caregivers when afraid, and as adults, we find ways to stick people to us as a means to feel better, less scared, and anxious.
Outwardly this might look like just being nice. But there is a difference between kindness and generosity that is motivated by compassion and actions that are driven by a need not to be rejected. Trauma can take a toll on self-worth, making some feel unworthy of love without much effort. Attach or fawn reactions to trauma might look like striving to keep unhealthy people close even when this causes harm mentally or physically. It may also show up as trying to fit in even when it means things that go against our values. Or churning worries about what people think of us. This trauma response makes it feel ok to sacrifice a lot for other people’s sake- it may be impossible to say no.
Special note for people in helping professions: For some, being able to read and predict people was – and is – a way to feel safe. Many therapists and people who are drawn into helping professions have learned to deal with their trauma through attach/fawn behaviors. Making them excellent empaths, but they lack the skills to manage their needs healthily.
I can attest that my journey into psychology was driven by the desire to understand people who hurt me. Although it has been a rewarding career, eventually, I had to reckon that knowing the answers to help others didn’t always mean I was applying them to myself. I also formed intense relationships with others while still keeping them at a distance. Like others who fall into this category as a way to cope with trauma, I had to ask myself questions. I questioned what healthy relationships looked like and whether I was working towards them or just treading water hoping to not upset or anger others. My healing required me to look closely at the relationships in my life. I also looked at how vulnerable and honest I was in them.
Trauma can be debilitating but it is also something you can come back from. So, now that we have gone over 5 misconceptions, if you identify with any, reach out for help. It can feel overwhelming to focus on the problem and finding solutions can feel impossible; however, you are not alone. If you need help, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy Texas, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Katherine Lickteig, MA, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S What are Boundaries? Relationships with boundaries allow people to learn when to say yes and when to say no to others and yourself. Creating boundaries is one of the best ways to keep your emotional energy. It can also help to define the […]
Relationships with boundaries allow people to learn when to say yes and when to say no to others and yourself. Creating boundaries is one of the best ways to keep your emotional energy. It can also help to define the people and things that you allow in your life.
Therefore, we can define a boundary as an invisible line a person can draw around themselves that will help to identify what is acceptable behavior, and what is unacceptable behavior. The beauty of boundaries is that you can change and adapt them. Some people love them because they represent structure, order, and rules. Others see them as limits that are annoying or frustrating.
An important part of mental health is deciding on the right number of boundaries for your life. Psychological distress can result from overly rigid or overly loose limits. Boundaries are a great way to have control in your life.
They help to define your personal space. This controls things such as the area around your body. It allows you to decide who can come into your personal space and who cannot. It can help you decide what type of affection you are comfortable with.
They tend to apply to your thoughts, your values, and even your opinions. For instance, do you have an open mind? Can you be flexible or is everything black or white? People with weak mental boundaries tend to react in an overly emotional manner. They will often become defensive, rigid, and may even become combative.
They help you to understand different opinions from those that you may have. It is certainly ok to agree to disagree. You do not need to give advice or try and “fix” someone else’s problems. Also, recognize that you are not to blame when those around you get upset. Do not let people guilt you into making decisions. Recognize that you have a choice in every situation and relationship if you choose to exercise that right.
They are limits on how a person chooses to budget their money. Moreover, they also determine how and what you choose to spend on material goods and experiences. Money can be a struggle for a lot of people. Setting financial rules can help you decide how you will and will not handle money.
They help you to determine which actions align with your core values. Some great examples are, you not accepting intolerant attitudes from others, or refusing to put up with lying and cheating. These boundaries help to set what deserves moral consideration.
They will help you to understand your comfort level around physical touch, intimacy, or even sexual behaviors. These boundaries help you to decide what fits your comfort level when it comes to your sexual life.
They help to define your religious beliefs or lack thereof. These boundaries do not matter whether they pertain to God, another deity, or a supernatural being. These should be clear rules that govern the beliefs we hold and how we put those beliefs into practice.
Boundaries are difficult for most people. Furthermore, they are especially hard for people that were raised by parents who are overly harsh or overly permissive with discipline. Trauma in your childhood may make you more willing to tolerate unhealthy behaviors from others. The good news is that you are now an adult with control over your life.
· You were not taught how to develop boundaries as a child. When needs and wants are not respected by parents, you may internalize that your opinions are not important.
· You tend to be a people-pleaser. You never like to offend anyone, or you simply cannot say “no”, so you take on too much.
· You were “parentified” as a child. This is when your role in your family was to take care of the needs of others, so your needs were always put on hold. You could never do anything for yourself because that would mean you were selfish.
If you are ready to learn how to implement boundaries, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling and mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Tara Kong, MS, NCC, LPC- Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, LPC-S Writing about gratitude during the month that celebrates Thanksgiving may seem cliché but having and expressing thankfulness is important in everyday life. Showing gratitude has many benefits physically, psychologically, and socially. Physical benefits include a better immune system, lower blood pressure, better sleep […]
Writing about gratitude during the month that celebrates Thanksgiving may seem cliché but having and expressing thankfulness is important in everyday life. Showing gratitude has many benefits physically, psychologically, and socially. Physical benefits include a better immune system, lower blood pressure, better sleep at night, and less bothered by aches and pains. Benefits psychologically include a higher level of positive emotions, feeling more alert and awake, experiencing more joy and pleasure, and experiencing more happiness in life. Socially people with gratitude are more likely to be kind, compassionate, generous, outgoing, forgiving, and less isolated and lonely.
Thankfulness allows people to experience the present fully. Research illustrates that positive emotions tend to wear off quickly. A new house, car, or phone that once brought happiness and excitement will later not feel so exciting anymore. Having gratitude allows us to appreciate the value of something. When we realize something has value, we are less likely to take it for granted. Gratitude will enable people to engage more fully and appreciate life. We get more pleasure from life when we value and appreciate the positives. Instead of becoming normalized to goodness, goodness is celebrated.
Gratitude has been shown to block negative emotions such as resentment, bitterness, and regret that can steal one’s happiness. Thankfulness also shows evidence of reducing the frequency and duration in periods of depression. It is hard to feel envious if you are feeling gratitude, or feel resentment when you appreciate all the positive experiences and people that are in your life.
Grateful people show better resiliency when they face a stressful event, suffering, or adversity. Appreciating another viewpoint in light of gratitude helps lessen anxiety and stress.
People who have thankful thoughts can appreciate what others have done for them or how they have been treated. Looking back on the past, one can see how different relationships and people have brought them to where they are today. Realizing that someone has seen value in you makes you change how you see yourself.
Having and expressing gratitude is not always easy. Thankfulness gives credit to other people. Often people are quick to attribute success to themselves and blame others for failures or mistakes. Gratitude protects against self-serving tendencies. Gratitude goes against our need to have control over our lives. Sometimes with gratitude, you accept life as it is and appreciate your blessings. Society often tells us that we deserve good things and produce entitlement. It is hard to show gratitude when one feels one deserves everything.
Some way you can practice experiencing more gratitude in your life is by keeping a gratitude journal.
Write down things you are thankful for. Or spend time each day thinking of three things you were grateful happened that day. Be intentional with those around you. Take time to notice traits or qualities you appreciate in your kids, spouse, parents, siblings, and friends. Once you notice, make a point to tell them what you appreciate about them. Showing gratitude is perfect in preparing for the Thanksgiving season, but it’s also essential to practice all year round.
If you are ready to learn how to experience and express gratitude, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling and mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Rachel Fowler, MS, LPC, NCC Grounding techniques for children and teens are helpful tools to help manage anxiety. Overwhelming anxiety can make your body and your thoughts feel foreign. Grounding techniques will assist the brain in coming back to reality and help you feel like yourself again. One of the great things about ground […]
By: Rachel Fowler, MS, LPC, NCC
Grounding techniques for children and teens are helpful tools to help manage anxiety. Overwhelming anxiety can make your body and your thoughts feel foreign. Grounding techniques will assist the brain in coming back to reality and help you feel like yourself again. One of the great things about ground techniques is that they can grow and change as you or your child does. Grounding techniques are not one-size-fits-all. Anyone can adapt the following grounding technique to what best works for them, their family, and their surroundings.
Change or immerse the body into a whole new experience or sensation. This can be lying on the ground, taking a shower, or wrapping yourself in a blanket. You can also change your body’s sensation by drinking a cold cup of water, eating a sour piece of candy, or holding an ice cube.
It is important to remember to acknowledge and stimulate your five senses. This can be as simple as bringing a new texture, like your favorite blanket or sweater. Light your favorite candle or use your essential oil in your safe space. Drink your most comforting drink or eat your favorite candy. Just remember to stimulate one of the five senses.
Find your comfort items and keep them close. Depending on age, these items can be a variety of items. For smaller children, this can be a favorite stuffed animal or toy. For teens, it can be their favorite scented candle or weighted blanket. My personal self-soothing item is a 1lb weighted stuffed animal (a blue whale from T.J Maxx).
Being anxious or overwhelmed is a sign that you need a break! Take the time to do something you enjoy. This can also look like taking yourself away from the stressor by physically leaving. Take a walk, play a game or catch up on one of your shows. This will help clear your mind from negative feelings and thoughts and have a clean slate.
Grounding techniques can regulate your emotions and bring you back to a state of awareness. When we become overwhelmed with anxiety, we can feel out of touch with reality and consumed with emotions. Grounding techniques are for everyone, not only those who battle panic attacks. Before, during, or after feeling overwhelmed with anxiousness or nervousness are appropriate times to practice grounding techniques.
If you feel like your child could benefit from learning skills related to anxiety and help improve their mental health. Let one of the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide mental health counseling, as well as other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Margie Frisco, MA, LPC-Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, LPC-S Power struggles with kids can feel like torture as a parent. You want the child to do what you need them to do. But the power of wills can be an epic battle. Finding healthy ways to deal with this stress can be helpful for […]
By: Margie Frisco, MA, LPC-Associate
Supervised by Melissa Barton, LPC-S
Power struggles with kids can feel like torture as a parent. You want the child to do what you need them to do. But the power of wills can be an epic battle. Finding healthy ways to deal with this stress can be helpful for you and your child. Let’s explore some ways to avoid getting into this tug-of-war!
First, let’s start with defining what a power struggle is. How do they start? What are they over? Many
times we can find ourselves needing children to do something. For instance, this can be putting on their shoes to leave for school.
Power struggles can be very frustrating for parents. Power struggles are ineffective as both the child and parent are left feeling frustrated and not doing the task. Furthermore, frustration can build between the parent and child, exploding into a battle.
Ways to avoid power struggles are for the parent to remain calm, give the child options, wait for them to ask for help, and to consider your options as a parent. For example, when a child’s feelings escalate, it can trigger us as parents. Often in family therapy, we see that when emotions get more significant, others match the level of emotions to assert dominance. Keep in mind there are healthy ways to keep the power but still have your child experience their feelings too.
Giving the child options can be very helpful in allowing your child to find solutions. Think of a time when you were a child and felt big feelings. Children do not have complex thought patterns yet. I mean that analytical thought processing is complicated for children, especially when emotions make rational thought tough.
Waiting for the child to ask for help can be very difficult. When we give the child an opportunity to ask for help, this allows the child to problem solve on their own and build confidence when things do not go their way. Moreover, this allows your child to self-soothe when they have big feelings.
Considering your options as a parent can help you focus on a solution versus their poor behavior. This can help you see what can be done to help you stay calm. If we focus on their behavior, we keep the power struggle alive and growing. If we focus on our behaviors, we can control ourselves and our reactions to reduce our elevated feelings.
Once in a power struggle, it can be challenging to get out of it. The first step would be to defuse the
situation. This means lowering everyone’s feelings so we can introduce rational thought. You can defuse the problem by using distractions, practicing deep breathing, reminding the child of a funny story, getting them to participate in a game (i.e., race to get shoes on), or even dancing.
Additionally, once in a power struggle, this can be an excellent opportunity to show your child how to regulate emotionally. You can show them how to calm their feelings in a healthier way versus getting into a tug of war. And for that parenting guilt, teaching your child how to regulate emotionally is how children learn. As much as we do not want our children to feel big feelings, we need to prepare them for if (when) they do.
Demonstrate how to say sorry. If we participated in the power struggle, we might feel bad about our actions. Showing them how to be humble and apologize when they do something wrong is how they learn.
Talk things out when calm. Once everyone feels relaxed and has had time to regulate their emotions, then they can have a logical talk about how to handle the situation better. Remember, no one is perfect. Showing your child how to deal with these emotions and what could have been done differently can be very helpful. And it gives your child an opportunity to tell you why and how they got to those feelings. This increases healthy emotion expression.
If you would like more help with power struggles, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, Texas, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs
By: Margie Frisco, MA, LPC-Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, LPC-S Sleep is one of the most essential parts of life. Life can be difficult if people are not getting a healthy amount or quality of sleep. Healthy sleep is extremely needed for kids too! One might ask, how do you get more quality and quantity […]
By: Margie Frisco, MA, LPC-Associate
Supervised by Melissa Barton, LPC-S
Sleep is one of the most essential parts of life. Life can be difficult if people are not getting a healthy amount or quality of sleep. Healthy sleep is extremely needed for kids too!
One might ask, how do you get more quality and quantity out of sleep? Adding a sleep routine can help your child improve their sleep. A sleep routine is a schedule that tells your body that it is bedtime. It helps your body slow down and prepare for rest.
Sleep routines can be different for each person. Furthermore, choosing the time and steps can have many options. Typically, consistency is key! Parents aim to keep the routine the same every night.
To help kids join in the sleep routine fun, have them help create the routine. Helping gives the child an opportunity to take charge and decide for themselves. Not only does this help with sleep, but it can help with decision-making and building confidence.
To begin, start with deciding on when to start the routine. For instance, what time does the family start the sleep routine every night, and what day it will begin. Be mindful of how much sleep time is needed for your child.
Many have heard the recommendation of eight hours of sleep a night. But realistically, kids in school could need as much as ten hours of sleep a night. Depending on your child’s age and activity level, the amount of sleep needed can vary. Check with your pediatrician to find the right amount for your child.
The parents might best determine the time chosen to go to sleep. This can help avoid an extremely late bedtime or getting into a power struggle with your child. Also, keeping the time consistent is needed. Repeatedly having your child stick to the sleep routine and going to bed at a consistent time will allow your child’s body to help create and keep a pattern.
There are an array of steps to choose from and enjoy. You can even create steps. The requirements of the steps are that they slow our body and mind down. Keep in mind this is preparing us for sleep.
Some steps to try could be:
There are some things that could not be helpful in a sleep routine. For example, TV or screen time canbe unhelpful in going to sleep. The reason for this is that the screen can help make our eyes tired. But the information gained from the screen can make a child’s brain more active, causing them to have a hard time falling asleep.
Exercise can be unhelpful before bed. Moving our bodies can make our heart rate go up. That can be counterproductive for sleep.
Making the bed a time for “timeouts.” If we put children in bed for timeout, they can learn to associate bed with trouble. This can make bedtime very challenging.
Set healthy boundaries with food and drinks before bed. I am sure many parents have heard, “I’m thirsty,” right before bed. Having food and beverages right before bed makes our bodies need to work to process them. This can also add to more bathroom trips before bed.
Lastly, we want the child’s room to be dark and quiet. Nightlights are ok if we have some fears. For the most part, we want all noisy toys put away and for there to be less light. This indicates to the body that it is rest time and not playtime. Also, having the temping toys put away and out of immediate reach is preferable.
As a parent, I know that some of these are difficult. But setting healthy boundaries/rules now can help improve their sleep. It will take some time for you and the kids to get to where this is second nature. So, remember to have some compassion for the kids and you too!
If you would like more help with improving sleep, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, Texas, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!