Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch
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By: Cheri Locke, MA, LPC, CCTP Sex. We are officially in 2021 and sex can still be a taboo topic. So let’s take a minute and talk about sex baby, let’s talk about…(Salt-N-Pepa anyone?) For many couples sex can be a source of great pleasure or great dissatisfaction. There are many factors that can play […]
Sex. We are officially in 2021 and sex can still be a taboo topic. So let’s take a minute and talk about sex baby, let’s talk about…(Salt-N-Pepa anyone?) For many couples sex can be a source of great pleasure or great dissatisfaction. There are many factors that can play a role for couples that experience displeasure in the “bedroom”. Firstly, if there are issues in your sexual relationship, rule out any medical issues. This article is not intended to help with any medical issues. Seek help from your medical provider if you believe any medical issues are present. This blog is intended to help you find ways to understand yourself a little better and hopefully spark a little fun or pleasure back into your sex life! You’re welcome.
Okay so this does not mean that you need to have sex daily. What is does mean is that you need to have a healthy understanding of what you and your partner’s level of needs are when it comes to sex. Couples that experience a strong sexual connection over a long period of time are friends (more about that later) that are able to make sex a priority in their life.
I often hear from couples in my practice that they are busy with life. They forget to make time for one another, whether it is dating, spending quality time, or having sex. An easy exercise to try is to schedule time for sex. Scheduling time for sex allows partners to take a break from life and remember their relationship. Sound unspontaneous? There are ways to make it more spontaneous. For example, you and your partner can fill a jar with “sex” ideas. On the scheduled day pull from the jar and have some fun. There are also many sex coupon books or cards that you can purchase to add mix things up.
When couples first come to see me I ask two questions, “do you feel emotionally connected” and “do you spend intentional time together.” Some couples may answer they feel emotionally connected, but the majority of couples respond they do not spend intentional time together. So what is being intentional? At the most basic level, it is responding to your partner’s needs while being wholly present.
For instance, many couples spend time watching television together. Are you together? Check. But, are you being intentional? My guess is probably not. So while there is not a one answer fits all, I encourage you and your partner to find time in your day, even if it is for 20 minutes, to be present with one another. Talk, hold hands, laugh, create memories. This will not only help create a stronger emotional connection, it will strengthen the friendship bond. In turn, this helps to create a stronger context in your relationship that promotes a healthy sexual relationship.
Red Light, Green Light, Yes To SexMany women enter into therapy explaining they love and desire their partner’s; however, it all adds up to a big zero when it comes to sex. Does this mean they have changed over time into a nonsexual being? My guess is no. What it does mean is there can be a variety of reasons sex has changed over the years. Firstly, the context of how you feel about the relationship or sex may have changed. Figuring out your emotional state in a relationship is very important to figuring out your sexual relationship.
Secondly, people have red lights and green lights to sex. Red lights are what prohibit a person from fully engaging in a sexual experience which can be an internal or external factor. For example, some women have issues with their body image that may prohibit them from being free during sex. This is considered a red light. A red light for men may be performance anxiety. When we are thinking about our bodies or our performance rather than focused on the pleasure of sex, we miss out and lose that connection. At times, we are not even aware of our red lights. However, when we can be fully present during sex, arousal and desire changes.
Furthermore, green lights are the “go” signal for sex. Many people learn about sex through their culture, experiences, and environment. Sex is a learned behavior and some of our first experiences can shape our entire sex life. Some people may be turned on by their partners putting the children to bed, while others are turned on by gently kisses on their neck. Whatever your “go” button(s) are, you need to understand yourself and direct your partner.
The answer is yes, if both partners are willing to assess the issues and make changes to the context of their relationship that are causing sexual difficulties. Both partners need to understand that rarely is the issue just about sex. There are often other components, either in the relationship or with an individual that is prohibiting a strong sexual connection. And, more often than not, I find that people are just not that aware of their needs, which often leaves their partners clueless as well.
If you are ready to improve your relationship and sex life, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide couples counseling as well as counseling services to all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages including: eating disorder treatment, depression treatment, women’s issues, treatment for anxiety, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, family therapy, men’s issues, trauma counseling, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Denise Servin, M. Ed., LPC Associate Does your teen engage in self-harm? Teenagers are facing many difficult setbacks right now. Living though a pandemic has changed how they are educated. It has also affected the way they socialize. They do not get to see their friends as often as they are used to. Many […]
Does your teen engage in self-harm? Teenagers are facing many difficult setbacks right now. Living though a pandemic has changed how they are educated. It has also affected the way they socialize. They do not get to see their friends as often as they are used to. Many of them are dealing with loss. It may be the loss of a family member or friendship. There is also the loss of most chances to be social.
Depression can sometimes be a result of these experiences. Depression can lead to self-harm behaviors. But, what is self-harm? What does it look like? What are some of the warning signs you can look for? How do you give them support through it? It can be a very scary topic to deal with. It can also be uncomfortable to talk about.
What Is Self-Harm?Self-harm can be described as self-injury. Self-harm is the act of inflicting harm on oneself. But, the intention of self-harm is not to die. For example, you may see cutting, burning, hitting themselves, or even picking at the skin. Why do teens self-harm? The reasons can be different for everyone. But, the reasons and emotions behind self-harm are key to understanding the behavior. These core feelings must be addressed in order to help your teen heal. Healing is necessary to make these behaviors stop.
The reasons that teens engage in self-harm behaviors are not reasons that need to make sense to you. It is enough that they are real to your teen.
Communication is very important. Self-harm can be very scary to talk about. But, opening that door is one of the most supportive things you can do. When you ask you are showing that you care. Talking about it gives them the space to talk about their feelings. Also, it shows that you are not afraid to hear what they have to say. In some cases, teens fear opening up. They worry that might be punished for their feelings.
If you’re dealing with a teen who is self-harming, there is already enough punishment happening. They are already feeling guilt and shame. So, it’s best to avoid adding to those feelings. It’s important to ask open-ended questions and really listen to what they have to say. At this point, you may decide it’s time to seek help.
Therapy can be very effective for people who want to stop self-harm behaviors. Furthermore, therapy can help your teen address and process the feelings that led to these behaviors. Also, they can learn new coping skills to help deal with strong emotions. A therapist can also work with your teen to come up with a plan of safety. These resources can be used if the urge to self-harm comes up.
If you are ready to learn how to help your teen deal with self-harming behaviors, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide therapy to people of all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Carey Robey, MS, LPC Have holiday stress this season? It may be the most wonderful time of the year, but no matter what you’re celebrating, holidays can be hectic! This year especially, it is important to be mindful of our stress levels so that we can enjoy all that this wonderful time has to […]
Have holiday stress this season? It may be the most wonderful time of the year, but no matter what you’re celebrating, holidays can be hectic! This year especially, it is important to be mindful of our stress levels so that we can enjoy all that this wonderful time has to offer.
Though things will be different this year, we can still find ways to have fun, spend time with family, and relax. Thankfully, because we know that the holidays are coming, we can plan ahead on how to manage any challenges that may come along so we can reduce any negative impact.
Before you get too overwhelmed, set your priorities and make sure you are doing the things most meaningful to you. For example, pick a few of your favorite activities and consider how to enjoy them in a way that is safe and as stress-free as possible. If you are having a hard time choosing between things, try including activities on a smaller scale and don’t forget you can ask for help!
The holidays are a time we usually spend with others, and while that may be limited this year, think of other ways you can practice togetherness. For example, try video calling over dinner or desserts, bake together over Zoom, send out holiday cards, or do a festive drive-by to see decorations! Be realistic in your expectations. We can still have a great time, but remember to not let the stress of doing too much or having unreasonably high goals interfere with your joy!
When times get a little crazy, remember to breathe. Be sure to schedule in some “me time” to practice self-care. For instance, maybe take a walk in nature, read a book, watch a holiday movie, or practice a meditation.
There may be moments during this season when things aren’t quite ideal, and it’s in those moments one should practice gratitude. Times can be challenging, but try and remember the positives. Think about what is going right in your life and things you are grateful for.
Sometimes we forget simple coping skills, but remember- it is okay to take ten minutes to yourself to release emotion and reduce any of that negative stress. Although the holiday season is often busy, don’t forget to also make time for therapy. Give yourself the space to process any stress or difficult emotions that may come up. The holidays are a wonderful time to focus on others, but don’t forget to make time for you! Take care of yourself. I wish you a happy and peaceful holiday season!
If you are ready to find relief from stress due to the holiday season, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide therapy to people of all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer treatment for depression and anxiety for adults, teens, and kids. We also offer counseling services in other areas including anxiety treatment, trauma counseling, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, depression treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, and family therapy. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Jessica Johns-Green, LPC Mindfulness has been gaining attention in the field of mental health for a couple decades now. If you’re investigating ways to treat anxiety, depression and other mental health struggles, mindfulness may be something you’ve come across. Building mindfulness skills is also helpful for obsessive compulsive disorder, self injurious behaviors and eating […]
Mindfulness has been gaining attention in the field of mental health for a couple decades now. If you’re investigating ways to treat anxiety, depression and other mental health struggles, mindfulness may be something you’ve come across. Building mindfulness skills is also helpful for obsessive compulsive disorder, self injurious behaviors and eating disorders. The idea of it might make you think of meditation or yoga, but you don’t have to spend hours in silence or start bulk buying incense to take advantage of the benefits of mindfulness.
What is Mindfulness?Mindfulness is an approach to ourselves where we aim to be aware and present in the moment with an open, accepting attitude. Our minds are typically full of thoughts – random and purposeful. Ones that we tend to focus on as important. Others that are there in the background. There are also waves of emotion – some that grab our attention and flood our experience. Others simmer in the background, affecting our bodies and behavior almost without us realizing. Being present in the moment – being mindful – is not a natural ability, but a skill we can learn. Building the skill of mindfulness takes short, but consistent practice in noticing emotions, thoughts, self talk and feelings in our bodies. Over time, we can learn to direct our attention, tolerate emotion and choose more effective responses to our situation.
How Mindfulness Can Improve Mental HealthWhen we get depression or struggle with anxiety, there is a felt sense that something in us is wired up wrong. That somehow our brains have become hijacked by this faulty wiring so that our negative self talk feels absolutely real, that we can’t survive a feeling of panic unless we escape, that we choose to do things even though those things don’t help in the long run. Much of the medications and therapies that treat anxiety, depression and other disorders are based on the idea that chemicals or structures in the brain are not doing their job the way they are supposed to. These treatments are about fixing the faulty ‘wiring’ so we can feel better again.
Research has been showing that we can also change the way our brains work with mindfulness https://observer.com/2017/06/neuroscience-mindfulness-brain-when-you-meditate-development/ . Although our brains are affected by our lives and genetics, our brain also has the ability to change with how we use it. Mindfulness is like a workout for your brain – a way of sort of strengthening certain areas as we use them. The parts that are involved in regulating emotion, storing memory and self awareness can all work together in healthier ways with the use of mindfulness. It is like re-wiring your brain to respond differently, allowing you to reduce fear responses and emotional pain.
A couple minutes a day is all you need to start practicing mindfulness. You can be anywhere, although beginners will do better with some quiet space and a comfortable place to sit.
A simple way to start is to use the STOP technique:
Slow down
Take a breath
Observe your body, thoughts and feelings
Process your possibilities, and proceed
An option is to use a timer to carve out your mindfulness time. Start with just a few minutes every day, and be ok if being mindful is tough. Our minds are busy places, and some days might feel tougher than others. Be patient and remember that your job isn’t to control your mind, but to observe.
Extra help is out there. There are mindfulness apps that aim to guide you through. Here is a list of mindfulness apps, rated and summarized https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/top-meditation-iphone-android-apps New York Times reviews of Headspace and Calm https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/best-meditation-apps/
There are also YouTube videos that guide you through mindfulness practice. Some of my 5 minute favorites are:
If you want to become more self-aware reach out for help. The counselors at the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch are trained in a range of treatment approaches, including mindfulness based therapies. We can help individuals and families dealing with stress, anxiety and depression. If you are ready to seek help, follow these steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages including: depression treatment, women’s issues, couples and marriage counseling, eating disorder treatment, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, men’s issues, trauma counseling, anxiety therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
Does your teenage son often seem overly emotional? Male teens have a difficult time managing their emotions. Parents often report their son’s react in an extreme manner when they fail an important quiz or are ghosted on social media. Like a snowball, these negative reactions to experiences at school, the sports field or relationships grow […]
Does your teenage son often seem overly emotional? Male teens have a difficult time managing their emotions. Parents often report their son’s react in an extreme manner when they fail an important quiz or are ghosted on social media. Like a snowball, these negative reactions to experiences at school, the sports field or relationships grow until there’s a real struggle with anxiety or depression. To understand why teens have these extreme emotions one has to understand the relationship between our emotions and our thoughts.
In a nutshell, the cognitive theory of emotions states that our emotional reactions are in large part influenced by the negative thoughts we entertain. Teenage boys need help identifying and reframing the negative thoughts that result in exaggerated emotional reactions. With the proper education and support, teenage boys become aware of the automatic negative thoughts that fill their mind and can utilize tools to help them manage their extreme emotions.
The ancient philosopher Epictetus once wrote, “it is not events that upset us, but our opinions about them.” Teen boys are not usually aware that their thoughts often get fused with their perception of external events. In others words, it is very common for teen boys to believe that their thoughts represent the world as it actually is.
When a teen gets a low score on an assignment or misses an important play, it is common that he’ll have a negative thought about his intelligence or ability. Maybe the teen will think something like, “I’m such an idiot”, or “I suck at sports!” If the teen conflates these thoughts with external reality, then it is likely he will start to feel terrible about himself. If he can recognize that his brain produces negative thoughts that do not reflect the way things really are, he can choose a healthier response to a negative experience. For example, instead of beating himself up for a low test score, he can remind himself that everyone makes mistakes and that he can do better next time.
Record negative thoughts It is easy for teen boys to get overwhelmed by their negative thoughts when these thoughts remain in their head. Writing down negative thoughts can be an effective strategy for two reasons.
First, writing down thoughts (or recording them on an iPhone) help teens identify patterns of negative thinking. After a few weeks of recording negative thoughts, a teen may realize that he keeps thinking that he’s unattractive, unintelligent or deficient in sports. Having a clear sense of the pattern of negative thoughts may help a teen understand why he’s been feeling so inferior to other guys around him. By correcting the negative thoughts, the teen has a greater chance of feeling better about himself.
Secondly, recording negative thoughts helps externalize the thoughts. Externalizing the thoughts gives the teen a better sense that while these thoughts are swirling around his mind, they are not necessarily true or reflective of reality.
Thoughts are like filters through which we view the world. Negative thoughts are like a cracked lens that distort how we view ourselves, other people and our environment. Teen boys need help recognizing that they are looking at the world through a distorted lens, not at the world as it really is. Therapists help teen boys create this distance from their thoughts by guiding them through various exercises. Here is a list of exercises that help teen boys create some distance from their thoughts:
Teens are prone to jump to the worst possible conclusion, usually with very little evidence to despair. In the world of therapy, this is known as catastrophizing. A relatively small mistake or social blunder gets blown out of proportion and interpreted as a catastrophe.
A teen likely imagines his girlfriend has moved on or found a better guy, if he sends a text and doesn’t receive a response. He goes down the rabbit hole and imagines that he’ll never date again. He then starts thinking that there is something fundamentally wrong with him!
One of the most effective ways to stop catastrophizing is to describe the situation in a calm, matter-of-fact way. Instead of interpreting the situation in a way that suggests personal offense (e.g., How could she not respond to me!”), try stating the facts in an impartial manner (e.g., She has not responded to this text in 30 minutes). Stating the facts in an objective manner helps the mind not jump to conclusions or rush to negative emotional associations.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help teenage boys manage their negative emotions. The main focus of using CBT is to help identify and address the distorted thoughts. These distorted thoughts often result in a negative self-image. Your therapist will help you set treatment goals. They will also teach you new ways to think about things that cause you to feel bad about yourself. Then they will teach you new behavioral skills to help you cope with these feelings in a more productive way. The therapists at the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch are trained in working with teenage boys and the mental health issues that may arise for this population.
There is nothing wrong with your teenage son. He is not too emotional. He simply hasn’t learned how to identify and manage the negative thoughts that are contributing to his anxiety or depression. Many teen guys find relief and build coping skills that can last a lifetime when they seek out professional help. Please do not hesitate to reach out today and call for help!
Contact us today to help your teen get started. The therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide therapy for teenagers as well as other services for people of all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages including: women’s issues, men’s issues, treatment for anxiety, trauma counseling, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, eating disorder treatment, depression treatment, couples counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, known as CBT, is becoming more widely used by counselors. Moreover, psychiatrists recommend it for a variety of mental health issues. These issues range from anxiety, depression, eating disorders, phobias, and substance use. CBT can also be helpful to people of most ages. Therapists can cater the treatment […]
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, known as CBT, is becoming more widely used by counselors. Moreover, psychiatrists recommend it for a variety of mental health issues. These issues range from anxiety, depression, eating disorders, phobias, and substance use. CBT can also be helpful to people of most ages. Therapists can cater the treatment to children, adults, and teens. So, if it can be used to assist with different issues and different populations, what exactly is CBT?
Helps identify negative thoughts and irrational ways of thinking. Our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are all connected. For example, a student may experience increased anxiety if they have the thought, “I am going to fail this test,” right before an exam. This can lead to trouble focusing or being overly distracted during the exam. This possibly may lead to poor performance. Negative thoughts can pop up at any time. We may be unaware of when it is happening until after the fact. However, we can learn to become aware of our thoughts.
In CBT, a trained counselor can assist individuals in becoming aware of negative thoughts. Next, the therapist can help the client challenge those thoughts and add in healthier ways of looking at certain situations. For example, “ I studied and prepared for this test, and am capable of doing well” is a new way of thinking about the exam from above.
Oftentimes, we rely on what we know or what we are used to cope. We may respond to our feelings and thoughts in ways that are not helpful. These unhealthy coping strategies may include:
In counseling, a therapist can help individuals recognize unhealthy behaviors. Unhealthy behaviors are ineffective and can possibly be harmful. CBT techniques can help people identify healthy coping skills. For example, individuals can learn and achieve healthy ways of dealing with feelings, negative thoughts, and stressful situations. Some healthy coping skills can include:
According to the American Psychiatric Association (APA), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy works as effectively, or more effectively, as other forms of therapy and psychiatric medications (https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral).
Furthermore, CBT can be used to treat many mental health issues. Many studies have shown the effectiveness of CBT for anxiety, depression, eating disorders, relationship issues, self-harm, and substance abuse.
For instance, an individual can learn to identify negative ways of thinking and behaving. Then, can replace those patterns with new, healthier, and more positive thoughts and actions. This can help boost mood and decrease stress. CBT can be structured and short term, and useful for teens, adults, and children.
If you or a loved one are struggling, there is hope. The counselors at the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch are trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. We can help individuals and families dealing with stress and struggles. If you are ready to seek help, follow these steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages including: depression treatment, women’s issues, couples and marriage counseling, eating disorder treatment, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, men’s issues, trauma counseling, anxiety therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Janelle Schlueter, MS, LPC, CCTP Do you love someone that is experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, also known as PTSD? Relationships can often be hard to navigate. When you love someone that struggles with PTSD, “relationship issues” can often take on a whole new meaning. Three Tips On How To Help Your Loved One […]
Do you love someone that is experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, also known as PTSD? Relationships can often be hard to navigate. When you love someone that struggles with PTSD, “relationship issues” can often take on a whole new meaning.
One way to help your partner is to learn how PTSD impacts them. Although there are general criteria for PTSD, the symptoms that an individual experiences is very unique. If your loved one can identify their triggers and make you aware, then that is great. However, sometimes those suffering with PTSD are not aware of triggers or what they experience when triggered. When you help identify triggers or experiences, it not only makes you aware as well, but allows you both to communicate about issues that may arise. Asking questions can be very useful.
What are some specific triggers they can identify?
What do they experience physically and mentally when they are triggered? How could you recognize this as their loved one (would you see them shaking, rocking, excessively sweating…)?
How can you help them when they get triggered? Do they need medication, to breathe or practice a grounding technique or be left alone?
Is there something that would decrease their level of anxiety on a daily basis?
Effective CommunicationCommunication is important in any relationship. However, when you are in a relationship with someone diagnosed with PTSD, communication can be crucial. Extra consideration must be paid to tone, volume, and other unintentionally harmful ways of speaking which may be triggering.
It is also important that you choose an appropriate time to have a serious discussion. Let your partner know that you need to have a discussion and set a time that works for you both. It is best to wait until your loved one is not highly anxious or coping with a trigger before trying to accomplish serious concerns. Identifying when you or your partner are flooded and needing a break in communication is also helpful.
A person suffering from PTSD rarely feels safe. Most people can say they feel safe at home, but that is not always the case for someone with PTSD. For your loved one, it is important that they have a “safe” space. “Safe” means no physical danger, but it also means emotionally safe. Take time with your partner to identify where or what they need to feel safe. For example, some people can feel more safe as long as their backs are not to the door in a social setting. For others, they may need new locks or the room re-painted. Again, every individual experiencing PTSD is different and their needs will be unique to their trauma.
Furthermore, feeling “safe” is also creating some predictability or routines. When things are predictable, they are not as likely to cause an increase in stress.
When you love and care for someone with PTSD the stress can be overwhelming for you as well. A counselor can help you with identifying and implementing healthy boundaries, effective communication, and self-care strategies.
Sometimes loving someone with PTSD can be a struggle. There are support groups for those who love people with PTSD which may help in reassuring you that you are not alone.
Hopefully your loved one has seen or is currently seeing a counselor who specializes in PTSD. If not, encourage them to seek help as well. If the relationship between you and your loved one is struggling due to what you believe is a factor of PTSD, seek a couples counselor.
Above all, treat yourself and your loved one with love and respect.
If you are ready to learn how to help you or your loved one suffering from PTSD, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide therapy to people of all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer treatment for trauma for adults, teens, and kids. We also offer counseling services in other areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Cheri Locke, MA, LPC At times parenting a child or teen with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, ADHD or ADD, can be overwhelming. As parents you may struggle to understand your child. As a couple, there may be consistent differences in how to handle situations with your child that may lead to conflict. The whole […]
At times parenting a child or teen with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, ADHD or ADD, can be overwhelming. As parents you may struggle to understand your child. As a couple, there may be consistent differences in how to handle situations with your child that may lead to conflict. The whole family can experience a disruption that leaves everyone feeling frazzled and emotionally drained. However, there are some things that you can do to provide stability and calmness in your home. These things will also help your relationship with your child and with your partner.
Children with ADHD often experience just as much frustration as their parents. They want to be able to “do” all of the things that are asked of them. Remember, children with ADHD typically have deficits in some executive functioning which include the ability to organize, complete tasks, think or plan ahead. Parents can learn to manage and guide their children in positive ways, assisting in areas where their child experiences the most difficulties.
It is really important you get to know your child’s routine and understand how long she/he needs for homework, to get ready, etc. Being rushed is sure to trigger a meltdown or a fight. You can constructively allow your child time to work at their pace. For example, asking my child to get ready in 20 minutes in the morning does not work and leads to everyone feeling flustered. I know that he needs time to ease into the morning so 45 minutes to an hour works better for him and sets the tone for a better day. You can also set them up for success. Use timers and clocks around the house to alert them when their time is over. For example, if you tell them they have 15 more minutes of “play” time, set a timer to signal the end of time for an easy transition.
Structure and routines are very helpful no matter the age. Find a routine that works well for your child and try to stick to it. When they know what to expect it helps them function better. Also, the older a child becomes, the more help they need staying organized and planning, especially for school. As parents, we tend to think that because they are maturing we can step back. However, parents and kids end up more frustrated because homework is not done and/or turned in. The entire school experience can become daunting. Ask your teen what they feel will help them best. You can add simple solutions to your daily routine such as a whiteboard, a planner, daily to-do lists, or daily check-in's. The teen years are not the time to let your kid figure it out on their own. With a little help in organization and planning, children can be successful.
Creating a space for your child can look different to every person that reads this blog. For some, it will mean creating a quiet space for your child to work. For others, it may mean carving out some positive time in your day to spend with your child. It may also mean allowing them to run at the soccer field to burn off some energy. Whatever this looks like for your family, take it. Who knows, it may even be a combination of the three!
I see many couples that often experience some issues with parenting. Recently, several couples have brought up issues related to parenting a child with ADHD. I believe it is important for couples to be united in helping their children. Here are just a few simple steps you can take today.
As parents of a child with ADHD it is important that you educate yourself. The needs of children with ADHD are different and cannot be “lumped” in or compared to those of other children. Read books or articles that are from reputable providers. Ask your child's doctor if they have any resources. If your child is old enough, ask she/he what they feel will work best. Sometimes, our kids can offer some of the best insight on what will help them personally.
One thing I often hear from couples in session is they fight over their children and are at opposite ends of how to handle the situation. You are not going to agree on every parenting aspect, especially when it comes to parenting a child with ADHD. However, you can talk about it and come up with a solution that best serves your child. The last thing we want is to make your child feel that they are the cause of their parents fighting. Remember, this is a diagnosis. Your child is not intentionally "not listening." Find a way to work with your partner, even if you need to compromise a bit!
If I haven’t said it yet, parenting a child with ADHD can be exhausting. If you are frustrated, the best thing you can do for yourself and your child is take a break. Let your partner take over. Repeat as often as needed. This helps keep things more calm and allows more positivity to emerge. When we are positive, children are more positive. It does not feel good to anyone involved to give or hear constant negativity or consequences. Allow yourself the space to see what your child did that day that you can give them praise.
As a parent, you can help your child overcome their daily challenges, help to increase calm and structure, and learn to respond in more positive ways. It is important to recognize what your child needs to be successful. For some, it is gentle reminders to raise their hands to speak, while for others, it may be reminding them to actually speak up for themselves rather than daydreaming. ADHD is not a one size fits all and it is not always the child that cannot sit quietly in his/her chair. Remember, at times we as parents do become mentally and physically drained from the daily demands of parenting a child with ADHD. If you feel that you are struggling, please reach out for help.
If you are ready to learn techniques to help your child and your relationship, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide parenting related services as well as counseling services to all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Contact our office to set up an appointment or to get more information about parenting therapy
Meet with one of our compassionate therapists
Find ways to help your child with ADHD through counseling!
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages including: eating disorder treatment, depression treatment, women’s issues, treatment for anxiety, couples and marriage counseling, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, family therapy, men’s issues, trauma counseling, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Denise Servin, M. Ed., LPC Associate Working from home has quickly gone from being a rare luxury that most of us didn’t have the opportunity to try, to becoming an almost expected way of life. There will always be some kind of work that doesn’t easily lend themselves to the system of working from […]
Working from home has quickly gone from being a rare luxury that most of us didn’t have the opportunity to try, to becoming an almost expected way of life. There will always be some kind of work that doesn’t easily lend themselves to the system of working from home. But, in many cases, working from home has meant the difference between staying employed and attempting to change jobs or even careers in the middle of a pandemic. At first, it was a strange idea to get used to. Also, it wasn’t an idea you could simply relax into as a new normal. There was no real end date that could be confirmed. Maybe you still don’t have a firm date for when you will be 100% back to working in-person. You may find yourself facing the reality that home is no longer the place you can go to escape from the stress and anxiety of work. The need to find ways to separate home life from work like has become stronger. It has also become even harder to achieve. How do you get back to a place where you can separate the two?
There are some things you can’t control. Emergencies and surprises happen. But, try your best to keep a schedule that (mostly) works for you every day. When you have a clear picture in your mind of how the day should go, you are much less likely to feel stress and anxiety around how the day will turn out. When you’re feeling less stressed, it’s a little easier for you to handle any surprises that come up.
Yes, one of the best things about working from home is the relaxed dress code! But, don’t fall into this trap. Dressing as you normally would for work sends a signal to your brain that it is time to work. This helps to clear up some of the confusion your body might be feeling about separating work and home. You don’t have to get all dressed up if it isn’t really necessary for your work day. The idea here is that you want to be able to clearly identify and separate work time while still taking advantage of the comfort that working from home provides.
It’s perfectly fine if you don’t have a completely separate home office space. Maybe you have some space that meets your requirements for work, but you’re also using it for other things. Don’t go out of your way to create more stress! Just do what you can to separate that space. Again, this sends the signal that you are only focused on work when you are in this space. This can be as simple as having something like a small piece of wall art or a foldable desk that is only in that space when you are working.
Do you have an activity that works like a charm to put you in a relaxed space? This could be mediation, working out, having a cup of tea, or even doing the dishes. The point is that you choose something you can consistently do every day at the end of your work day. This will not only serve to reduce your work-related stress, but it will also be your daily reminder to physical and emotionally let go of your work day.
Learn How to Balance Working From HomeWorking from home offers many benefits. But, there is a strong pull to make the most of your time at home. When will you get this opportunity again? Shouldn’t you be getting so much more done? It can be so easy to get caught up in the idea of trying to make good use of your time at home by fitting home-related projects into your day. But, it is best for your mental health to try to create as much separation between home and work as much as you realistically can.
If you have tried these options (or something similar) but you are still experiencing burnout, you may want to explore your current coping skills and how to improve them. In therapy, you can examine what you have tried to achieve a better balance while working from home. You can explore patterns, what has worked for you, and what hasn’t worked so well for you. Your therapist can also suggest and teach coping skills that might work better for you. It is possible to overcome burnout and get closer to balance with therapy and support.
If you are ready to avoid burnout and reduce the stress in your life, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide treatment for stress management as well as cater to specific needs for adults, teens, and children. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages including: depression treatment, women’s issues, couples and marriage counseling, eating disorder treatment, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, men’s issues, trauma counseling, anxiety therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Carey Robey, MS, LPC Whether you have had a bad day at work, an argument with your partner, or are overwhelmed by the global health pandemic, healthy coping skills can help you manage stressful situations and diminish symptoms of depression and anxiety. There many ways to cope and it is valuable to have multiple […]
Whether you have had a bad day at work, an argument with your partner, or are overwhelmed by the global health pandemic, healthy coping skills can help you manage stressful situations and diminish symptoms of depression and anxiety. There many ways to cope and it is valuable to have multiple tools you can turn to. Different coping skills will help you in various ways, so I am going to introduce you to five types. It may seem easier to just use strategies you know work for quick relief, but understanding what coping skills work best can better assist you in reducing your emotional distress.
Distraction works as a great coping skill because it gives your mind a break; it’s an excellent tool for short-term relief. It is a way for you to remove yourself from the situation, whether physically, mentally, or emotionally. Engaging in activities like talking to friends or family, watching television, playing a game, cleaning or organizing, or doing arts and crafts can all be healthy ways to distract yourself from whatever is causing distress. Finding new activities to engage in can not only be distracting, but you may find a new hobby you actually enjoy doing for self-care!
Get in TouchGrounding is a great technique to use when trying to calm your emotions. Sometimes we just need to slow down. Grounding involves getting in touch with ourselves and with nature. You can practice grounding techniques through using your senses- try lighting your favorite candle, walking on grass or sand barefoot, practicing yoga or meditation, sitting outside, or engaging in deep breathing. Another great tool, especially fun for kids, is to play the “rainbow” game- spend time noticing the different colors around you, trying to find each color of the rainbow. Taking a moment to ground yourself can help you better regulate your emotions.
Emotional release is a great tool when you need to release some of that pent-up energy. Emotions can affect us physically as well as mentally, and giving yourself the space to let it out can relieve a lot of that tension. Instead of letting yourself overflow without any control, willingly let yourself experience emotion. Watch a movie that is going to make you laugh or cry, do a really intense workout, journal, dance like no one is watching, take a cold shower! Sometimes what we really need is a release of the overwhelming pressure so we can reset and move on.
Another area to work on is self-love. Self-love is about appreciating yourself and showing yourself that support we all need. What are you doing for yourself? If the answer is “I don’t know,” find something to add into your routine. Maybe treat yourself to a nice bath, take a few extra minutes to straighten up your room, get a manicure or a massage, or eat your favorite meal. If you have the resources, go to your favorite place or buy a small treat. Most importantly, speak kindly to yourself. Take the time to do something you love and something that is good for you- you deserve it! This is another crucial aspect of self-care.
Though we have been over several great options for you to use in coping with depression and anxiety, one of the most important skills and the one that can have long-term effects on your mental health is thought challenging. Thought challenging is an attempt to shift your negative thinking habits into more constructive ones. Check for evidence for your negative thought. Consider all the ways your negative thought may not be true. Along with challenging negative thoughts, you can engage in more positive self-talk. Try expressing positive affirmations, talking to yourself like you would talk to your best friend, and practice gratitude. Think of the things going right in life.
In therapy, I work on teaching you how to master these skills until they become second nature. Coping skills need not just be reserved for when you are in a crisis or in distress. Practicing a variety of coping skills should be a part of your self-care routine. It is easier to utilize these tools in a moment of need when you are already accustomed to doing them. It is also essential that you have a variety of tools you can use, as not every coping skill is going to be as beneficial depending on the situation. Try out different things and see what brings you peace and a sense of calm, allowing you to better manage any depression or anxiety and live a more fulfilled life.
If you are ready to find relief from depression and anxiety for yourself or your child or teen, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide therapy to people of all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer treatment for depression and anxiety for adults, teens, and kids. We also offer counseling services in other areas including trauma counseling, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!