Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch
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By: Ally Hoffman, MA I’m sure we have all heard the statement: failure to launch at some point. Made popular by the movie with Matthew McConaughey, the concept “Failure to Launch” describes the circumstance in which individuals aged 18 to 25 face difficulty launching into adulthood. This concept is so popular. In fact, a Clark University Researcher, […]
I’m sure we have all heard the statement: failure to launch at some point. Made popular by the movie with Matthew McConaughey, the concept “Failure to Launch” describes the circumstance in which individuals aged 18 to 25 face difficulty launching into adulthood. This concept is so popular. In fact, a Clark University Researcher, Jefferey Jensen Arnett proposed a new life stage he refers to as “Emerging Adulthood.” During this stage, young adults are focused on themselves, trying to transition between adolescence and adulthood, exploring their identity and the vast possibilities the world has to offer. All the while trying to juggle the instability involved in the whole transition.
Where Did Failure To Launch Originate?Growing up, we have everything laid out for us from the time we are five heading to kindergarten to the time we are 18 graduating high school. You go to school, get your grades, possibly participate in extra-curricular activities, maybe get a job, and then graduate high school. Once you graduate, the world still seems black and white because you decide to go to college or head straight into the workforce.
However, we cannot forget the third avenue in which a young adult is still living in the family home on their parent’s dime. This is when all of the practical life skills you did not learn in school are given a test drive!
Whichever route you choose, both parents and adult children have opportunities to learn and grow during this phase. Parents are adjusting to a more hands-off parenting style and acting to bolster their adult children’s independence. Parents are working to create new traditions and change habits with grown children. Often this can include creating an entirely new connection from the emerging adult that involves more acceptance of this new identity.
The adult-child is taking on, offering guidance without control, and holding space for the child to grow. Young adults are learning how to adult for the first time focusing on things they have never had to manage before, like car payments, rent, acquiring and holding a job, and so much more! Because of all of the new responsibilities, young adults might feel they lack motivation or direction or have difficulty taking responsibility. They may also be unable to meet expectations held by others and themselves, have problems with perseverance, possibly even procrastination, and mainly cope with stress.
Life changes can be complex. Adjusting to new family norms throughout some of these changes can create some awkward growing pains for both parents and young adults.
Counseling can help offer support and act as a stronghold during this time of transitions. It can ultimately serve as a drawing board to facilitate what this next stage of life looks like for each individual. Young adults can learn to flourish and accept the various challenges accompanying adulthood. Parents can take a back seat and begin enjoying the fruits of their labor.
To learn more about this from the parent perspective, check out this book “Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents,” by Allison Botke.
Often, I find that clients struggle with the idea that they might have failed in their role as either the parent or the young adult. That F word can be scary for many of us. However, counseling is about becoming a better version of yourself. Understanding that there is no perfect picture of what a parent or emerging adult should look like. In therapy, you get to keep your best foot forward. You will develop the tools for self-reflection and acceptance of adverse circumstances. You will learn to be more content with the unknown that accompanies these stages of life.
Want to move through this phase of life more swiftly? One of the therapists at Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help be the support you need. We offer individual and family counseling services alongside couple and group counseling services! To get started on your journey, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Julie Sekachev, M. Ed., LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Have you ever heard of the Gottman Method? What if I told you that there is a way to tell if your marriage will last or not after observing you and your partner having a 15-minute conversation. Sounds unbelievable? Well, consider that […]
Have you ever heard of the Gottman Method? What if I told you that there is a way to tell if your marriage will last or not after observing you and your partner having a 15-minute conversation. Sounds unbelievable? Well, consider that there is research that has been conducted to test just that! John Gottman along with Robert Levenson identified four behaviors and observed how often couples showed these to one another in a 15-minute conversation. They predicted which marriages would end 93% of the time. You can read more about the study here:
https://ift-malta.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/gottman-predictor-of-divorce.pdf
So what are these behaviors? John Gottman calls these behaviors the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” and they are criticism, contempt, stonewalling, and defensiveness. The Gottman institute also talks about positive behaviors to counteract these negative behaviors called “antidotes” they are also listed below. For more information about the Gottman Therapy visit:
https://www.gottman.com/couples/
Read on and see if there is any relation to the way you and your partner communicate and try some alternative “antidotes” to help!
Criticism is when we state our partner’s complaints but in such a way that it shows them that they are defective or have an irreversible flaw that is somehow tied to their personality. You may criticize your partner if you find yourself saying things like, “you never…or you are the type of person… or name-calling.” If you find yourself tying their behavior to a statement about their character, you may be criticizing. An example of criticism can sound like, “You always talk about yourself. Why are you so selfish!” Criticism can make your partner feel like something is inherently wrong with them, leading to them feeling resentful towards you or starting to defend themselves. Either way, they do not hear you, and neither of your needs is being met.
Instead, something that you can try is what is called a “gentle start-up.” This is when you talk about your feelings about a situation that upset you and ask your partner for a positive need. An example would be: “I felt left out when we had our conversation tonight. Could you please ask me about my day?”
We can act defensive when we perceive that we are under attack. When we feel under attack, it can make you think and act like a victim or counterattack your partner, and both are destructive. Defensiveness is when you find yourself making excuses, blaming your partner, or other circumstances. An example of defensiveness is, “It is not my fault we are late; it is your fault!”
A way to break out of this cycle is to accept even a tiny part of the responsibility for the situation. For example, you can say something like, “well, part of it is my fault. I lost track of time and took too long to get ready. I will plan better next time.” Accepting responsibility allows you to look at the situation from a different perspective. You are acknowledging that no one is perfect. You have flaws just like your partner. Simple acknowledgment can diffuse arguments by reducing continuous nagging or complaining because a partner feels not being heard.
Stonewalling is emotional withdrawal from interaction. Partners can do this when they disengage from the conversation. Typically, they do not give common nonverbals such as eye contact or nodding when listening to the discussion. Other examples of stonewalling can be using “the silent treatment,” suddenly walking away from a conversation without explanation, or yelling to stop the conversation. Stonewalling can be an attempt to end an escalating discussion or a response to feeling overpowered. A partner could also stonewall because they are uncomfortable with vulnerability but do not have another way to express this to their partner.
Stonewalling causes an increase in your partner’s heart rate leaves problems unresolved, creates emotional disconnection, and may even trigger hopelessness.
Try to notice when you are starting to feel “flooded” or overwhelmed in discussion with your partner. If you have a smartwatch, you can tell when your heart rate is over 80 bpm for women and 90BPM for men. During this time, it is essential to tell your partner that you are feeling flooded and ask to take at least a 20-minute break in separate rooms. During this time, practice self-soothing. This can be deep breathing, reading, or taking a walk. Remember to schedule a time to come back to the discussion when you are both calm. Make a “repair attempt” with your partner, see the situation from their perspective, show them that you listen, validate their feelings, and ask for what you need.
You can find out more on how to make repairs and examples here:
https://www.gottman.com/blog/r-is-for-repair/
Condescension and disrespect are forms of contempt. That can look like statements that come from a position of superiority (disrespect, mockery, name-calling, aggressive/hostile humor, sarcasm, eye-rolling, sneering). Such behavior leads to contempt which is anger fused with distrust. It shows the other person their worthlessness and your disapproval of them. Contempt arises from unsettled anger towards your partner and a chronic negative view of them. You show contempt when you believe your partner to be stupid, morally bankrupt, emotionally aloof, or any other irreversible flaw. According to John Gottman, this is the most significant predictor of divorce and must be eliminated. Even if you think contempt, it may come out through body language, so understanding is crucial.
An example of contempt is “Only thoughtless people are late! Not that you are ever going to change…” or “Really? You ‘forgot’ to let me know you had a conflict with our parenting class? I would never do this to you….”
Try to describe your feelings and needs instead of your partners. There are many tools to help to expand our emotional vocabulary. You can use one here:
https://cdn.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/The-Gottman-Institute_The-Feeling-Wheel_v2.pdf
Express your longings and needs to your partner without making them feel like the enemy. An example of something you can say instead is “Lateness irritates me, I tie being on time to showing respect, this is why I think it upset me, it makes me feel disrespected, could you please let me know in advance if you are running behind?”
Building a culture of appreciation and respect towards each other will reduce contempt. Ask yourself if you genuinely respect your partner, why or why not? You can process these feelings between one another or with the help of a couple’s therapist. Remember, the most important thing is to avoid criticizing or blaming, speak from your perspective, use “I statements,” and ask for an action step your partner can take to help meet your needs.
If you are ready to learn more about the Gottman Method and improve your relationship, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide couple’s counseling, as well as, other mental health services. To begin couples counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Julie Sekachev, M. Ed., LPC Associate Do you ever find yourself feeling stuck in the way you relate to your partner? It seems to be good for a while. But, soon enough you find yourselves in a cycle of feeling attacked, shut out, unwanted, or not being heard. Do you find yourself at times […]
Do you ever find yourself feeling stuck in the way you relate to your partner? It seems to be good for a while. But, soon enough you find yourselves in a cycle of feeling attacked, shut out, unwanted, or not being heard. Do you find yourself at times alone? Craving a deeper level of closeness, validation or understanding? If so, read on how this empirically based therapy can help you establish emotional security, safety and accessibility to your partner.
Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is a type of therapy that focuses on universal key emotions and attachment needs. Universal core emotions are fear, shame, anger, surprise, shame, hurt, sadness, and joy. Each of these emotions have cues. That is, how we evaluate these emotions (safe/unsafe/ positive/negative), the way our body reacts, and the way we respond.
According to EFT, adult love is a hardwired adaptive attachment response. What’s more, EFT uses the foundation of attachment theory. It states that emotional responsiveness and engagement are the main predictors of satisfaction in a marriage. Furthermore, couples feel safe when they can count on their spouses to be there for them when they need them.
Emotional engagement seems impossible when we employ negative cycles of anger, criticism, or complaints. Mix with anger, defensiveness and distance and couples can continue the disconnection loop. When couples experience disconnection, a process of separation anxiety happens. Partners begin to protest, which can look like anger. Not to mention, this is typically followed by seeking to reestablish a connection and cling to your partner. If partners do not respond to this protest, depression and isolation can set in.
How a more secure bond is created between couples in EFT sessionsFirstly, during couples therapy sessions you will learn how to voice your attachment needs. You will also express attachment-oriented emotions to your partner. These emotions can include desperation, longing, fear, or loneliness. EFT is about diving into the deeper emotions of destructive cycles. You will learn to identify your emotional responses and link these responses to interactional patterns.
Secondly, we work to identify and investigate vulnerable feelings, and the messages they are trying to send. For instance, uncovering and taking a risk to share these emotions with your partner is the key to a deep emotional bond. Vulnerability creates a space for compassion and a deeper sense of intimacy. Additionally, EFT can enhance your sense of safety and security with your partner. It can also strengthen your bond, which can make life stressors seem more manageable.
If you are ready to improve your relationship, one of the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide couple’s counseling, as well as, other mental health services. To begin couples counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Margie Frisco, Life Coach Being a parent can be one of the hardest jobs in life. It can feel overwhelming to raise kids, with the pressure of allowing your children to have their feelings but still be in “control” of your own household. For many parents, the goal of parenting is to raise a […]
Being a parent can be one of the hardest jobs in life. It can feel overwhelming to raise kids, with the pressure of allowing your children to have their feelings but still be in “control” of your own household. For many parents, the goal of parenting is to raise a child that can be self-sufficient in adulthood.
Establish Clear Boundaries:As a parent, we get to choose what the rules are, how to enforce them, and how to react if the rules are not kept. With that being said, children are not mind readers. Here are a few ways to ensure that the rules are clearly defined and understood by the child. First, you can have them repeat back what the rules and consequences (positive and negative) are. Another way to help children comply with the rules, or boundaries is to have them help create the rules and boundaries. This can be particularly effective for grade school and middle school kids. Also, as a reminder, having the rules listed so if the child forgets or needs a reminder, they are visible.
As parents it is important to openly listen to our children. Listening and validating your child’s feelings and emotions will allow them to practice this specific communication technique that will benefit them in future relationships with partners, in their future workspace, and in their social life. This allows your child to practice effectively communicating how they feel in a healthy way, also indicating to them when a relationship is unhealthy and unproductive for them. They will gain confidence and be able to speak up for themselves and to again be a self-sufficient adult, even when others are not treating them well.
To address punishment, keep in mind everyone can have a different definition of punishment, whether that looks like taking something away, grounding, or additional chores. Make sure that the punishment is fitting for the initial rule that was broken. For example, if we are just starting out with a new rule, your child might need some grace in remembering the new rule. Or if a child forgets to do a chore for the hundredth time, maybe a little more than just reminding. Remember parents how we felt when we had major punishments as a child? Did it make you feel that you could come to your parents and talk openly?
Rewards or incentives for good behavior can also deter poor behavior. Utilizing a reward system also can prepare your child for a more real world experience. For example, if a child does their chores they can be rewarded with a family game night where they can choose the game or allowing them to choose what is made for dinner one night. The reward doesn’t have to be money. The basic option of allowing a child to make a decision and choose to reach a goal sets them up with the same systems that they can use in adulthood.
If you are ready to improve your parenting skills, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin parenting counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Julie Sekachev, M. Ed, LPC Associate Have you ever asked yourself what is codependency and does it apply to me? Ask yourself these few questions: Do you ever take responsibility for the actions of others? Does saying “no” to others feel so terrifying that you will go above and beyond for others at the […]
Have you ever asked yourself what is codependency and does it apply to me? Ask yourself these few questions: Do you ever take responsibility for the actions of others? Does saying “no” to others feel so terrifying that you will go above and beyond for others at the expense of your personal needs? Maybe you have a child, spouse, or a loved one with substance use issues that you cannot allow to face the negative consequences for their behavior. This blog can help you learn about the origins of this behavior and what you can do to create a healthier relationship with yourself, stop rescuing, and get your life back.
Signs of codependency can include taking responsibility for the actions of others. For example, when you find yourself covering up for others to protect them from the consequences of their poor choices. If you ever feel like you need to “rescue” others without a regard to your own needs, or manipulating others’ responses instead of accepting them at face value. If your partner calls you names, for example, but you attribute that to the fact that they are in a bad mood, and continue to excuse the behavior.
A codependent relationship is one based on need, not out of mutual respect. In a relationship of need one partner gives up their personal power entirely. In a sense, one partner becomes the “prisoner” while the other person is the “jailer.” Because the codependent person gives up self-responsibility he or she feels as if they cannot live without the other person.
How Codependent Behaviors OriginateCodependent behaviors begin in childhood, usually before eight years old. They start when primary caregivers do not meet our emotional, psychological or physical needs. A person that grows up in this environment begins to learn dysfunctional patters of interaction and associate love with pain. When they get older, they seek out similar individuals with similar characteristics as caretakers in order to “right the wrong” and get the approval or love from significant others. A person may tell themselves that “if it doesn’t hurt, it isn’t love.”
One of the main drivers of codependency is self-sacrifice. This begins in the family of origin when a child had to take on a role of the parent. Typically due to alcoholism, substance use, mental health issues, or personality disorders. This child became the “parent-ified child.” They may have developed beliefs such as, “I must help other people. Other people’s needs are more important than mine. I’m selfish if I say “no.”
If a person thinks about saying “no” to somebody or does not help, he or she may get overwhelming feelings of guilt. This is the kind of feeling that drives self-sacrifice. The behaviors that come in this cycle of self-sacrifice are wanting to fix people and wanting to help. People find it very difficult to tolerate other people’s discomfort. Codependent individuals can end up advising people, trying to fix them all the time, trying to rescue them, helping them in all sorts of ways at the expense of personal needs.
When you see someone in distress (someone’s has a problem and you want to immediately rush to give them advice, fix or help them), ask yourself what are you actually feeling? If you don’t act immediately, how uncomfortable is that for you?
With codependency it’s not really about the other person – it’s about the codependent person themselves. It’s their own discomfort with other people’s pain they cannot tolerate, their own guilt and anxiety.
Mindfulness functions:
Having a clear vision creates motivation and changes your focus from rescuing others back to yourself. Write this in as much detail as possible. Focus on the feelings you will have when you have the life you truly want and include goals you will reach. Ideally this should be reread regularly.
In therapy you will learn your patterns and work on starting to change them. For example, if your are having a thought that the person you are helping will not be able to do this without your help, you can process that thought and look at it differently. Maybe consider that when you’re jumping to help somebody, you’re actually preventing them growing. You are stunting their growth. Through therapy you will start to see a different side of your behavior, build personal boundaries, and begin to live the life you imagined.
If you want to improve your relationship with yourself and others, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Carey Robey, Often I ask my clients during session how much time they spend self-reflecting. The answer? A confused “Never?” We dive into a discussion on self-awareness and how important it is to be in touch with one’s own emotional state, perspective, thoughts, and feelings. Far too frequently clients tell me they do not […]
Often I ask my clients during session how much time they spend self-reflecting. The answer? A confused “Never?” We dive into a discussion on self-awareness and how important it is to be in touch with one’s own emotional state, perspective, thoughts, and feelings. Far too frequently clients tell me they do not have this level of awareness or even think on these kinds of things; but, when we are self-aware we are engaging in and working towards deepening our understanding of ourselves which increases our personal development.
There are different ways to look at self-awareness. We can be thinking of a solution-focused approach where we are contemplating how to reach our goals, solve a problem, or attack a challenge. One can also have awareness in a deeper sense- a more self-focused approach in which we are trying to have an understanding of our thoughts, moods, and feelings.
When we are able to be self-aware, we are able to have a greater understanding of our internal and external world, notice signals around us, objectively respond, and have a greater understanding of the impact we have on others and why we are the way we are. Self-awareness is about understanding the reasons for emotional experience rather than just the emotional experience itself. When we can analyze our experiences, we can learn from them.
How Do We Become More Self-AwareSo how does one go about knowing thyself? Self-awareness is achieved by being introspective; one must spend time reflecting on their experience. Our mind is constantly going so one easy way to start engaging in self-awareness is to choose what you tune into. What is helpful and what is not? Are you ruminating on anything? Consider why you are thinking or acting in a certain way and try to be objective.
Many times, people do not take a step back to consider what may be affecting their mood or behavior. Taking a moment to do this increases our insight. Engaging in mindfulness practices can be helpful in focusing on the present and increasing introspection. Notice your thoughts and consider why you might be having them, but be careful not to judge.
Be curious and ask yourself deep questions. Sometimes deep questions lead to deep answers and I would urge you to not be afraid to be honest with yourself; remember we are being objective, not judgmental. Don’t hesitate to check in with yourself often. Try journaling, meditation, or nature walks as these activities can assist in getting you to a state where you can open up and reflect.
Profile of a runner resting breathing deeply fresh air outstretching arms at sunset
When one achieves self-awareness, many benefits can be experienced. It can have great effects on our mood and how we interact with the world around us. It can enable you to have greater empathy and understanding that while we have our own thoughts and perspective, so too do others. This understanding can help improve relationships and communication.
Self-awareness can also lead one to have a greater ability to understand and control impulses, as well as increase self-esteem. Self-awareness is an essential part in understanding yourself; when we learn about ourselves and how we experience, we can reach greater feelings of contentment. Sometimes looking inward can evoke negative feelings, so be mindful and take care of yourself. If you find that you are struggling with increasing awareness, or notice that awareness can at times lead to anxiety, reach out for help. Enjoy your journey inward.
If you would like to learn how to become more self-aware, the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Jessica Johns-Green, MA, LPC What does the family you grew up in have to do with eating disorders later in life? Clients often recognize the difficulties in their families, but the eating disorder starts later on. Binge eating, bulimia and anorexia can be seen as another problem on top of the family issues you’ve […]
What does the family you grew up in have to do with eating disorders later in life? Clients often recognize the difficulties in their families, but the eating disorder starts later on. Binge eating, bulimia and anorexia can be seen as another problem on top of the family issues you’ve had to cope with, rather than an understandable outcome of the family dynamics. There may be more predictable links than you realize.
Understanding the specific dynamics in your family might be an important aspect of your personal growth or therapy work. But for now, when I refer to difficult or toxic family dynamics, it may be one, some or many of the following:
For more information on typical toxic family styles 7 Toxic Family Styles, Patrick Teahan
In reading the above list, it probably seems understandable that people who grew up in situations like those listed would have some issues to heal. But how do eating disorders fit in?
The Link Between Toxic Families and Eating DisordersWhat all the family issues on the list have in common are that they are overwhelming. There is an emotional overwhelming-ness to them, but it is important to also understand that the nervous system – our brain and it’s network of connections throughout the body – also become overwhelmed.
People, and children in particular, need a sense of connection and safety. When we don’t get that, our nervous system will go into alert – kind of like a fire alarm going off to warn of danger. This in itself is not a problem, because once the overwhelming thing is over the alarm switches off and we get on with life feeling normal again. But, in toxic families where the overwhelming situations are the norm, or where the people that should make us feel safe -our parents – are the ones who are making the alarm go off, we have to find another way to switch off, return to calm and normality.
The nervous system operates best within a zone of tolerance, cycling between action and rest. Alertness and calm. Trauma, toxic family dynamics send us far above the normal alert state and when the alarm doesn’t switch off our bodies will look for ways to detach, numb. We may even fight back, avoid or escape – mentally or physically.
How Food Behaviors Help Regulate and Can Lead To Eating DisordersFood is an accessible and easy way to accomplish all the survival strategies that cope with the dysfunction and the internal alarm system. When we’ve been too much in action/alert mode it doesn’t feel good, we’ll be drawn towards calming. Overeating, binging can encourage the nervous system to numb, to quiet the alarm. If we’ve been too numb, it also doesn’t feel good and we’ll seek to balance out. Restricting and purging (vomiting, laxative use, over-exercise) bring us up out of the numb state.
Food behavior probably doesn’t happen directly after a traumatic event with your family, although it might. Typically it doesn’t come about until we are old enough to make choices about our food, and it can worsen in adulthood during times of stress or when we notice similar patterns, even if we haven’t yet been able to identify those patterns yet. When food or restricting food works to lessen the overwhelming experience in life and in the nervous system, we are likely to return to it, especially if we are confused about why we feel this way and don’t have other, healthier ways to cope.
Struggling with your relationship with food and ready to find a way forward? Ready to heal and gain power over these kinds of issues? The therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Julie Sekachev, M, Ed., LPC Associate Do you struggle with getting organized for back to school? Does going back to school or college seem overwhelming? Do you struggle to stay organized and have a hard time finishing tasks? Keeping things organized is very important for our brains to function effectively. Clutter can create unnecessary […]
Do you struggle with getting organized for back to school? Does going back to school or college seem overwhelming? Do you struggle to stay organized and have a hard time finishing tasks? Keeping things organized is very important for our brains to function effectively. Clutter can create unnecessary stimuli for your brain to have to process, using up your mental energy and leaving you drained.
Being organized is a learned skill you can develop through healthy habits. The most important thing to keep in mind when organizing your environment is effort and commitment. Read below for ways to get rid of the overwhelm and organize your space.
https://clockify.me/blog/productivity/time-blocking-planner-templates/. Time blocking helps you decide your priorities of the day and get more accomplished vs. to do lists that do not have time bound deadlines.
https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/home/organizing/a25846191/what-is-the-konmari-method/
Accomplish More With An Organized SpaceOrganization can help you gain a sense of control, accomplishment, and pride over your work and environment. Organization leads to higher efficiency in accomplishing day to day chores and projects. Furthermore, if you can create a system to stay organized, whether decluttering regularly or committing to finishing assignments the day you intended, you will actually gain more time to spend with friends or doing other things you enjoy. I want to encourage you this coming school year to make a commitment to yourself and begin! Your future self will thank you.
If you are feeling overwhelmed and want help to get organized and feel less overwhelmed, the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Janelle Schlueter, MS, LPC, NCC, CCTP Getting trauma counseling can be scary and overwhelming. Have you wondered what makes counseling for trauma different from ‘regular’ counseling? Well, simply put, a lot. As a therapist who is also a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, I have noted a few frequently asked questions that may help ease […]
Getting trauma counseling can be scary and overwhelming. Have you wondered what makes counseling for trauma different from ‘regular’ counseling? Well, simply put, a lot. As a therapist who is also a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, I have noted a few frequently asked questions that may help ease some anxiety about seeking counseling for trauma.
If you feel that your trauma is the most significant issue affecting your life then it is recommended you see a therapist who has specialized training in the area of trauma. Keep in mind that all therapists have had some training to help with trauma so you may not need to see a ‘trauma specialist’. I have explained this to clients like this: Picture the medical field. Counselors are like the primary care physician who is familiar with most everything and trauma therapists are for more specified treatment like a cardiologist who specializes in specific issues with the heart. The most important thing to consider when choosing a therapist is that you feel comfortable and heard!
Do I have to talk about my trauma(s)?As with any counseling, you do not have to do anything! This is especially true with trauma counseling. Trauma counseling is client-led which means you are in charge of how fast paced the treatment goes and what you are comfortable discussing. Also, trauma therapists are trained to help heal from trauma without having you ‘re-live’ your experiences.
Counseling of any kind is not ‘cookie cutter’. Every client’s treatment plan is unique to their goals and needs. With trauma counseling you can expect to be in weekly counseling sessions for about 4-6 weeks. This time is often used to build skills and learn about how trauma is affecting your life. Typically, around the 4-6 week mark, the therapist and client will discuss progress and possibly go to every other week sessions. By no means is any counseling (specifically trauma counseling) a ‘quick’ process.
Not necessarily! Everyone has had some form of trauma in their life. Even though everyone has experienced some trauma, not everyone has PTSD. A PTSD diagnosis comes from the client’s inability to heal from the trauma(s) and struggle with long term symptoms that interfere with daily life. There are also other diagnoses for someone struggling with trauma besides PTSD.
My hope is that these FAQ’s give you the answers you need to seek help for your trauma. If there are other questions you have about trauma counseling, contact Janelle at the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch and she will do her best to answer them for you.
If you are struggling with trauma, counseling with a licensed professional can help.
If you are ready heal from trauma, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling for men and women and we do have a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Julie Sekachev, M. Ed, LPC Associate Divorce can be a difficult and life changing event in your child’s life. By helping your child navigate this uncertain time and utilizing some tips below you can help them process what is happening in a healthy way. How To Talk To Your Child About Divorce Make sure […]
Divorce can be a difficult and life changing event in your child’s life. By helping your child navigate this uncertain time and utilizing some tips below you can help them process what is happening in a healthy way.
to do that, and this is the best decision. Validate that your child is going through a difficult change. If you are ready to find help for yourself or your child, the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!