Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch
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By: Ally Hoffman MA, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton MA, LPC-S In June, we recognize Pride. We hear a lot about being an ally of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, asexual, plus (LGBTQIA+) community. There is much confusion about what it means to be an ally. For instance, some might still wonder […]
In June, we recognize Pride. We hear a lot about being an ally of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, asexual, plus (LGBTQIA+) community. There is much confusion about what it means to be an ally. For instance, some might still wonder what is expected. They may wonder what is involved, and how to best show their support.
Ambiguity can be challenging to understand. When discussing gender identity or expression, and sexual orientation, we often have to dabble in shades of grey. As such, it is essential to familiarize ourselves with some helpful language surrounding some of the nuances of this population.
According to Dictionary.com, an Ally is “a person, group, or nation that is associated with another or others for some common cause or purpose.” This encompasses the idea that we do not have to be the same to support their cause. However, allies frequently have some level of influence. They are known to use that power as a platform to encourage visibility and or acceptance of an idea or population.
Gender identity is an individual’s internal expression of self. Whereas gender expression is more external. An external expression can include many different things. Such as: what a person chooses to wear, how they style their hair, or apply cosmetics or not. Exterior features are often influenced by our societal view of masculine and feminine. Additionally, they often reflect the dominant culture’s values in specific areas. On the other hand, sexual expression can be the attraction one might feel physically and/or emotionally to other individuals. It is critical that allies make an effort to educate themselves and utilize the appropriate language to the best of their ability.
Well, looky there! You have already taken a step in the right direction! Just by clicking this link! What’s important is to take the initiative to find the information. You can do this with online research or by asking questions of community members. Seek out resources in your local area. We must recognize our biases, and be open to criticism.
It is equally important to keep an open mind while learning. For example, not every individual associated with the LGBTQIA+ community feels oppressed. Therefore, be willing to hear each person’s story. Learning is a lifelong process! We each have the power to create a ripple effect for these individuals.
Clearly, awareness and action are where the grit meets the grindstone. Being an ally involves staying up to date on current issues! For example, how it affects the population. It’s crucial, as an ally, to utilize those moments to educate others and begin creating the change we would like to see in the world.
If you are ready to become an Ally and LGBTQIA+ supporter, the therapists at the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: M. Katherine Lickteig, MA, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S What is resilience in children? Resilience in children is the ability to bounce back from stressors in life such as everyday stress, adversity, failure, life challenges, or even trauma. Unfortunately, kids are not born with resiliency. Most children come equipped with the […]
What is resilience in children? Resilience in children is the ability to bounce back from
stressors in life such as everyday stress, adversity, failure, life challenges, or even trauma. Unfortunately, kids are not born with resiliency. Most children come equipped with the ability to work through challenges. However, it’s a skill that children develop this skill as they grow.
Why should parents want to develop resilience in their children? Resilient kids have the confidence to take healthy risks. These kids don’t have a fear of falling short of expectations. Resilient kids tend to be curious and brave. Children who develop resiliency develop the ability to trust their instincts. Emotionally healthy people show knowledge of their limits. Children will also push themselves to step outside of their comfort zones. Resiliency helps children to reach their long-term goals. They have to confidence to solve their problems independently.
Despite our best efforts, parents can’t protect kids from everything. Kids are going to encounter stress as they grow. Kids may get sick, move to a new neighborhood, they may face bullies and cyberbullies, will have to take tests, may have to cope with grief, lose friends, or even deal with divorce. These are just a few things that kids may experience. In comparison, these things might seem small in our eyes. But, unfortunately, they can feel huge to children.
Resilience gives kids the ability to navigate stressful situations. When kids have the confidence to work through faith to confront complex issues, when children are allowed to bounce back on their own instead of parents stepping to solve their problems, children will internalize the message that they are strong and capable. When they have developed resiliency, they will develop the confidence to lead a successful life. their problems, they gain the
Parents can help kids build resilience by teaching them to solve problems independently. As parents, we are inclined to jump in so that our child does not experience any discomfort. Unfortunately, when we do this, we destroy our children’s self-confidence. We need our kids to experience hardships to gain the confidence to work through their problems. If we do not allow children to develop this skill set, they will experience anxiety and shut down any time they come upon adversity. Here are some ways that parents can help to foster a strong sense of resiliency in their children.
Parents need to spend one-on-one time with their kids: This helps children develop coping skills within caring relationships. In addition, positive connections give you the ability to model coping and problem-solving skills to your children.
Encouraging your children to take healthy risks is extremely important. Healthy risks encourage a child to go outside of their comfort zone but have very little danger if they are unsuccessful. We have to realize that when kids avoid risk, they internalize that they are not strong enough to handle any threats.
Children often come to their parents to solve their problems, and our natural response is to lecture or explain. A better strategy may be to ask the child questions. We can help children by bouncing the problem back to the child, allowing them the opportunity to solve their problems.
When we help our children learn how to brainstorm solutions, parents engage the child in the process of solving problems. Problem-solving will help children develop a list of ideas and then allow them to weigh the pros and cons of each one.
Teach your kids that feelings are important, and when they can label their feelings, it will help them make sense of what they’re experiencing. For example, children need to know it’s okay to feel anxious, sad, jealous, etc., and reassure them that bad feelings usually pass.
Deep breathing exercises help kids relax and calm themselves when they experience stress or frustration. In addition, coping skills enable them to remain calm and process the situation.
Remember that children who avoid failure tend to lack resilience. Children who avoid failure tend to be very anxious. Try not to focus on the outcome because this will force kids into the pass/fail cycle. If you focus on the result instead of the process, children will avoid taking risks. Making mistakes puts children in a growth mindset. This mindset sends the message to kids that mistakes help them learn.
If we want our children to be resilient, we must teach them to be resilient. One great way to teach resiliency is to model it for our children. Life is full of stressful situations. We often use coping and calming strategies. When adults are going through this, it is helpful to our children to label our emotions. We need to show them how to solve problems by talking through how we solve them.
Exercise helps strengthen our brains, and when our brains are supported, it makes them more resilient to stress and adversity. There are many great ways for kids to get exercise, such as. Team sports organized playgroups, but ever underestimate the power of simply allowing your child to free play. Free play builds your child’s creativity and builds resilience.
So why is resilience an essential skill for children to learn? First, parents need to remember that resilience is a skill that helps kids navigate the obstacles they encounter as they grow. In comparison, it is not possible to avoid stress in life. So, teaching our children to be resilient is one of the best ways to teach them to cope with it.
If you would like more help with parenting strategies or building your relationship with your kid(s), one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, Texas, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S What are boundaries, and why do we need them? Boundaries are expectation or rules that we set for ourselves that tells the other person our limit of space or activity. Boundaries show others who you are, your needs, and what you will and […]
What are boundaries, and why do we need them? Boundaries are expectation or rules that we set for ourselves that tells
the other person our limit of space or activity. Boundaries show others who you are, your needs, and what you will and will not accept from others. Sometimes if we do not have personal boundaries, we find it hard to respect boundaries that others set. It can be a challenge to appreciate something we do not honor ourselves, so identifying your boundaries is the first step. Boundaries are healthy for relationships because they establish clear expectations, allow each partner to meet their needs, and create open communication.
Evaluate how you feel within your relationship. Do you need more time to yourself? Are you feeling a lack of social connection with your friends and need some time with them? Do you need more respect from your partner? Do you crave more understanding or more intimacy from your partner?
Write down a list of your needs and expectation and where you want to set a limit. If you are giving too much of your time to your partner, how can you create more balance?
Look at your emotional, mental, and physical health trajectory if your needs go unmet. Not setting boundaries and neglecting your needs will ultimately lead to relationship burnout and can fuel negative cycles of interaction with your partner.
Communicate your boundaries in a non-threatening way. For example, if your need is that you want your partner to be more present and you notice your partner is on the phone when you try to have a conversation, you can say:
“I feel heard and valued when you listen to me without any distractions” or “I feel respected when I can finish my point without interruption” instead of “s
top picking up your phone when I’m talking, or I’ll stop talking to you.”
Remember that sometimes when you start to state your needs, wants, or limits to others, especially if you have difficulty doing so or rarely set boundaries, it may trigger deep-seated feelings of guilt, shame, or selfishness. It is essential to consider the origin of these negative core beliefs. Keep in mind that feeling this way does not mean that you should not set boundaries with others. You can process these feelings by placing limitations on your partner. Being vulnerable and sharing these feelings can help your partner understand you and enrich the bond you have together.
If you have not had boundaries with your partner before, it may be a challenge for them initially to accept your limits. They may want more than you are comfortable giving, overstep, challenge why you have a specific boundary, judge or criticize them, or question if they are realistic. When this happens, consider your values around your limits. Ask your partner about any fears about this change and reassure and soothe these fears together. Communicate to your partner using the “gentle startup” (I feel…about what…I need…) of how you feel when your boundaries are not respected. Share with your partner that identifying, honoring, and expressing your needs can help you from disconnection.
Need Help Setting Boundaries? Don’t Know Where to start? If you are ready to improve your relationship, one of the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide couples counseling as well as other services. To begin couples counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
Is it hard to motivate your kid(s)? Sometimes, it can be hard to get your child to do what you ask them to do. For example, how often do we have to say pick up your stuff or do your homework? It can even feel like a tug of war! It can even be done […]
Is it hard to motivate your kid(s)? Sometimes, it can be hard to
get your child to do what you ask them to do. For example, how often do we have to say pick up your stuff or do your homework? It can even feel like a tug of war! It can even be done without yelling, arguing, or feeling like something failed. What if I told you some new ways you can try to motivate your kids? Below are some helpful tips.
Knowing how to motivate your child can be easy and hard for others. Maybe the child doesn’t know what they want. Or it can feel like anything you do as a parent does not make it any easier.
Creating a space where the child can explore what they like can be helpful. Creating such a space can help spark curiosity and play. Many child therapists would agree that freedom can be therapeutic for kids. This type of expression lets them feel free.
What motivates some kids might be harder to find when your child knows why they might participate more easily. The “why” is the result you are looking for. Children are more willing to join if they get a say in it, depending on their age.
For example, if you have a picky eater, have them help pack the lunch. I realize that if we allow children to pack their lunch, it could be filled with candy and junk food. What I mean by help is to put the sandwich together or have them draw a fun drawing on the bag of carrots.
Keep in mind that we want to limit this. As we learn and grow, we find out not everything has a reward. Limiting rewards helps children understand this concept.
Keep in mind that different ages are capable of other tasks. Please make sure the reward and what we are motivating are age-appropriate.
You can ensure the reward is appropriate by allowing the child to choose their prize themselves. Openly ask your child: “What do you want to work towards?” This sentence will enable your child to work towards making them happy versus avoiding punishment.
They can work towards the goal or reward by doing what you want them to do. A chore chart or a goal tracker can help you organize and follow their progress.
Many times as parents, we have high expectations for our children. We want them to do better or have better than what we had. Completely understandable. But we want to keep in mind what is realistic for their age.
For instance, kids between the ages of 3 to 6 tend to want to do adult things. These children might want to wear mom or dad’s
shoes or go to work. They are learning how to become more independent while making you happy.
Whereas children who are 6 to 12 are trying to understand the concepts of others. Specifically, they are beginning to understand how their actions can impact others. For example, elementary school-age children are at the age where they are trying to understand how they hurt a friend’s feelings.
If you would like more help with parenting strategies or building your relationship with your kid(s), one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, Texas, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: M. Katherine Lickteig, MA, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Have you adopted, or are you in the process of adopting? Adoption Counseling can help your family through this process. A knowledgeable therapist can aid any couple through the steps needed to bring your new child into your life. When a couple […]
Have you adopted, or are you in the process of adopting? Adoption Counseling can help your family through this process. A knowledgeable therapist can aid any couple through the steps needed to bring your new child into your life. When a couple is
seeking a professional to help with this life-changing event, they must consider what stage of the process. The two types of counseling would be pre-adoption counseling and post-adoption counseling. Therefore, a therapist that is well versed in the process, and can make things run more smoothly for your family.
You and your spouse are considering adoption to add to your family. So, why should you consider counseling? While it is a beautiful way to add to your family, it is not without personal challenges. Whether you are adopting locally, considering a foreign adoption, or adopting from foster care, you are entering a situation that will be far different from the traditional way of adding to your family. The better prepared a parent is, the more unlikely they are to become frustrated.
As with any way you add to your family, you as a couple are excited, and you should be. You have done everything that your
agency has asked you and more. Adoption is a great thing. Many of you have prepared to fly around the world to get your new baby. You want to give your all to this child, but there are several things that you might want to consider.
First, you must believe that this adoption occurred at a significant loss for this child. Second, many of these children have been through past trauma. You have already loved this child and are ready to welcome them into your loving arms. The third thing you may want to consider is that they might return your feelings right away. Your expectations may be far more than they are ready to give. An adoption therapist can help a couple to manage their expectations.
What is pre-adoption counseling? Counseling at this stage will help you through the process. A knowledgeable therapist can help you with the struggles of the paperwork and adoptive placement. They can also help with the roller coaster ride of the placement process. The therapist can help you consider all aspects of adding another person to your family. This therapist should be able to help adoptive parents to set realistic expectations. The counseling should allow the parents to meet these kids at their emotional level so that transitions will run more smoothly. Parents will be able to discuss issues they may encounter with future children. The goal of this counseling will allow parents to prepare better for the adoption.
This type of counseling can help a family for years after the adoption and is often part of services offered to adopted children. Post-adoption counseling can involve many different areas of the new family’s life. An adoption therapist can help a family with attachment issues, grief issues, behavioral issues, trauma issues, and problems with the changing roles in the family. It can also help you resolve any issues present to the family, and it can help when you feel frustrated and question your decision.
Adoption is a great way to add to your family, but just like biological children can present issues, so will adoptive children. The better prepared you are to welcome that little one and meet their needs, the better off your family will be. Our trained therapists
at the Cinco Ranch Counseling Center will love to work with you and your child if you are considering adoption, working as a foster parent, or are struggling with issues in the post-adoption phase.
Do you want to learn how to navigate adoption or adding to your family? One of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide individual and family counseling and other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Ally Hoffman, MA, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Whenever I hear the word habit anymore, all I have running through my head is the new Ed Sheeran song that exclaims, “My bad habits lead to…,” prompting me to consider my habits. We all have them. We all know them well. As […]
Whenever I hear the word habit anymore, all I have running through my head is the new Ed Sheeran song that exclaims, “My bad
habits lead to…,” prompting me to consider my habits. We all have them. We all know them well. As humans, we know how the saying goes – we are creatures of habit. Meaning, that we fall back into similar patterns of behavior that we know to be familiar and sometimes useful to us. They can come in all forms, too: the good, the bad, and the ugly! We create some of them to keep us organized, like tidying your home throughout the week or keeping a schedule or routine. We have others because they have become a part of our “norms,” like popping a piece of gum in your mouth before a date, holding the door open for others, or even the order we get ready in the morning. Then, we keep others for comfort or control, like biting our nails and turning on the tv to distract us from other things, and they ultimately end up sometimes doing more harm than good.
Initially, when the idea of habits was presented to me recently, it was by a friend of mine who had started reading the book, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg. I was fascinated by the information she shared with me from what she had learned from the author. I furthered my research by diving into a little more research from another author contributing to the literary work surrounding the topics, James Clear, author of Atomic Habits. Overall, here are the main takeaways that I was able to gather:
Habit stacking is critical – once you have one in your repertoire, you can build. Be careful not to start with too many things. Too much at one time can be overwhelming and lead to a lack of follow-through. Instead, keep one main idea in mind and break it down into minimal steps to get there. Then, start with a bit of action.
Instead of thinking of building new habits, instead change bad ones. For example, if you start your mornings on social media, change it to something more productive, like using that time to brush your teeth, read a book, journal, workout, etc.
Also, it is imperative to reward yourself when you finish a habit! Your reward can be a feeling of accomplishment or something more tangible, like a new outfit or a treat. It’s part of the habit loop: you have a cue, routine, and reward.
Clients often share that their dreams may feel too big, or ideas they have may seem wholly outrageous or out of reach. However, I would like to believe that no goal is too big! People defy the odds, but it takes a hint of courage to be the odd man out. We live in a world where we are constantly compared to our peers and other people. In a podcast featuring authors Brené Brown and Emmanuel Acho, they discuss the importance of being Illogical with our thinking. They describe this idea that we should look at social constructs and challenge the status quo from an academic perspective! For example, if I believe that I want to become a world-class musician, the odds may be stacked against me, but if I work hard and dedicate time, we can achieve great things.
Now, it’s important to note that some individuals are more naturally adept at things than others. So, realistically, there may be some things that we cannot achieve. I encourage my clients to show bravery in the face of uncertainty, find something they are good at and love, and give it all you got! Despite what some may tell you, we can create change in our immediate environments and beyond. Thinking illogically means we are thinking outside of the box or system that has been put in front of us. Who tells us we can’t be all that we have ever dreamed of?
Do you want to learn how to develop new norms and overhaul your bad habits? One of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide individual and family counseling and other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, Counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Do you have a child that struggles with separation anxiety? Do you have a partner that is out of town frequently? Are you planning to be away from your child for some time? Are you not sure how to prepare them for the […]
By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC AssociateDo you have a child that struggles with separation anxiety? Do you have a partner that is out of town frequently? Are you planning to be away from your child for some time? Are you not sure how to prepare them for the separation? Whether you are in a military family, where separation is frequent, or travel for work, this blog can help you navigate the stress of separation. Separation anxiety is normal for young children. We are hard-wired to depend on attachment figures for survival. Separation anxiety can look like excessive fear or worry that the attachment figure may not return or feel anxious or afraid that an unexpected adverse event may happen. A child may cling to their parents excessively, refuse to go to sleep without the attachment figure, and can experience physical symptoms such as headaches, vomiting, and nausea.
If you are traveling for work, change how you define the event. Instead of looking at a time away as an adverse event, for example, saying, “My work is making me go out of town,” changing it to “I get to help others, learn a new skill, solve a hard problem, etc.” Talk to your child about the meaning behind your work if you are going on a work trip. You can learn more with your child about the food, culture, or what kids like to do for fun in that location, and even find videos online to watch together.
There are many fun ways to countdown the days for the parent’s return. You could make a DIY count-down calendar until the day the parents return or make a collage of the places they have traveled, even have a candy jar for the days they are gone, and eat one a day until the reunion.
You can get more ideas here.
Make a routine for when you will talk to your child while away and keep it consistent. Creating structure adds a degree of predictability for your child and allows them to know what to expect. Many apps for traveling parents can ease separation anxiety and help share pictures and updates.
There are many different books available with a recording option. That way, they can read it while you’re away with your voice, or you can make a video of you cooking or making their favorite dish together. The idea is something that they can replay that can help them feel connected to you.
Practice breathing exercises with your child together. Depending on your child’s age, you can practice blowing bubbles, having the child pretend to blow out candles on their fingertips, or practice deep breathing by breathing in through the nose, holding 3 seconds, and breathing out through the mouth for 3 seconds.
If you are ready to help your child find ways to cope with separation anxiety, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide individual and family counseling and other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, Counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Janelle Schlueter, MS, LPC, NCC, CCTP How important is ‘normalizing’ for survivors of sexual assault? Arguably it is the most essential part. Normalizing occurs when a therapist takes a thought that the client believes to be ‘abnormal’ or ‘shameful’ and helps the client see that it is actually ‘normal.’ This is most often done through […]
How important is ‘normalizing’ for survivors of sexual assault? Arguably it is the most essential part. Normalizing occurs when a therapist takes a thought that the client believes to be ‘abnormal’ or ‘shameful’ and helps the client see that it is actually ‘normal.’ This is most often done through trauma-informed education. The result of normalizing is the removal of shame and the addition of confidence. Normalizing also significantly speeds up the healing process.
Physical arousal does not equal consent. Arousal is a natural body response. It is possible for a person not to want to participate in a sexual act, and their body can still respond to physical sensations by becoming aroused. An orgasm is even possible. It is more common than you’d think, but even during a sexual assault, the body response can overtake the anxious fight/flight thoughts. This means that you do not have to be emotionally calm and comfortable to feel pleasure. Once again, physical arousal or even orgasm does not equal consent!
When something traumatic happens to you, your brain has trouble accepting it as a reality. To allow you to gradually accept that the event has happened, your brain tends to change the memory to something more pleasant. This takes place in dreams when you cannot change your thoughts. Your brain will create more pleasant versions of what happened to you. These changes could be someone coming to your rescue, you physically fighting and winning, or making the event consensual and romanticized.
I am a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional who specializes in working with sexual assault survivors. I often hear from my clients that they are ‘ashamed’ by thoughts like these and others like them. It is vital to understand that shame or embarrassment after sexual assault is expected, but it is not yours to hold!
One way to let go of the shame is through your self-talk. Keep in mind that ‘our thoughts are not always our friend’. When you have encountered sexual assault, your thoughts tend to be hostile towards yourself. Keep challenging yourself with “would I say this to a friend who was sexually assaulted?” If the answer is no, do not say it to yourself!
If you are ready to find healing after sexual assault, one of the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide mental health counseling, as well as other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Alexia Cabreras, Practicum Student Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Do you have trouble with positive or negative self-talk? How we talk to ourselves, positively or negatively, plays a significant role in our lives. When we think of positive and negative self-talk, we think of the obvious, right? When we think of positive self-talk, we […]
By: Alexia Cabreras, Practicum Student
Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S
Do you have trouble with positive or negative self-talk? How we talk to ourselves, positively or negatively, plays a significant role in our lives. When we think of positive and negative self-talk, we think of the obvious, right? When we think of positive self-talk, we know this to be the cheery voice in our head, constantly looking toward the bright side of things. This voice makes you feel good about yourself and whatever other events in your life; I mean, who doesn’t like that?
Wouldn’t it just be amazing if we could all experience constant positive self-talk? I mean, it would, but that’s not realistic. Negative self-talk is very much present at any given moment. When we think of negative self-talk, we know this is the voice that puts a downer on anything, even the good things going on for us. Negative self-talk ultimately sucks because it makes it harder to see ourselves for all the good stuff we contribute to the world.
Before we can learn to practice self-talk, we must identify negative thinking. Negative thinking is broken down into four major categories, starting with personalizing. Personalizing refers to constantly blaming yourself for everything that happens, even things outside of your control. For example, if your partner had a bad day at work, they text you pretty dry with little to no emotion, and you take that personal. Though you know they had a bad day at work, you feel like the reason they dry texted you was because you did something wrong. It is difficult to feel like you did something wrong in that scenario because you know you had nothing to do with their bad day but still feel responsible.
When it comes to magnifying, this refers to focusing on negative aspects. In this case, you tend to ignore anything positive linked to whatever situation you face. You dive right into overanalyzing one particular thing, like actual magnifying glass. For example, it’s finally the weekend, and you’re done with work for the week. There are a couple of things you could do, but you choose to spend time with your family. Sounds great, right? It is great until you can’t concentrate on the quality time spent with your loved ones because all you can think about is that bit of work you chose to put off until next week. Seeing things through a magnifying lens makes it hard to appreciate the things worth being grateful for, like family in this example.
Catastrophizing means you expect the worse, and there’s hardly anything that could potentially change that. Catastrophizing is most clearly seen when we are blowing things out of proportion. For example, you wake up craving some Starbucks, and as soon as you walk out the door, your drink happens to fall. Though it could have been a simple accident, now you assume the rest of your day will be as bad as your morning. It is so important to understand that we must put things into perspective and think with reason and logic when this happens.
Last but not least, we understand polarizing as seeing the world in black and white or simply good and evil. We avoid any middle ground possible. For example, if you take a test and fail, you think of yourself as unprepared or not smart enough. Though there could have been multiple reasons you failed that test, you firmly believe there could only be one excuse and one excuse as to why that happened.
Positive self-talk doesn’t always come easy. It’s a process, just like everything else. Talking to yourself with kindness requires hard work, and though it takes practice at times, it is ultimately crucial to our well-being.
SO! There’s a range of ways to practice positive self-talk!
If you are ready to improve your mental health, your self-esteem, and confidence, one of the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide mental health counseling, as well as other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Margie Frisco, MA Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Middle School can be challenging for the parents and the kids. Kids are trying to adjust to a new school with new people. Parents are trying to change to what can feel like a new kid. The transition to middle school will be one of […]
By: Margie Frisco, MA
Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S
Middle School can be challenging for the parents and the kids. Kids are trying to adjust to a new school with new people. Parents are trying to change to what can feel like a new kid. The transition to middle school will be one of the most complicated transitions children will experience. Different resources to help them adjust are available to help you.
Involvement is not just at home or school. There are many ways a parent can help their middle schooler. For instance, studies have shown that middle school kids do better with parent involvement. Parent involvement is most effective both at home as well as in school.
As your child grows, what they need from a parent changes. For example, a young child might need help changing or preparing their sandwich. A middle school kid might not need help with those things. But they might still need help at home with managing their time.
Lots of middle school kids have difficulty adjusting to managing chores, grades, and doing things they want to do. Helping your child figure out what works best for them is one way to help.
Another way parents can help at home is to be prepared for a change in their child. Many parents describe their middle school kids changing into a teenager overnight. Being ready for the change in attitude and behavior can be helpful for the parent.
Lastly, it is ok to need help. If further assistance is required, group counseling might be an option. Group therapy allows middle schoolers to share their feelings, feel validated by their peers, and learn by seeing others’ social interactions. In group therapy, the Center provides a space. We talk about healthy communication, ways to regulate their emotions, learning to celebrate small victories, and self-care.
A significant change in middle school is the school work. Not only do they now have more teachers, but they have to go to multiple classrooms, the schoolwork gets more complicated, and they become painfully aware that multitasking is mandatory. Keep in mind the parent involvement will change too.
Since your kid is getting older, they can be more responsible for their school work. They will still need help adjusting to taking on more responsibility. Middle schoolers can learn from watching you. They are watching how you react when you get discouraging news from work or when you have to work together with family members/co-workers. Setting an example of working effectively can genuinely influence your middle schooler.
Is your middle schooler understanding and developing academically? Are they struggling in one subject? Then take that information and find resources that help your middle schooler directly—also, getting to know where your middle schooler is developmentally helpful.
Even if they are acing all of their classes, are they involved in their school? Studies have shown that kids involved in after-school activities tend to adjust better in middle school. After-school activities can be anything, ranging from athletics, clubs, dance, or anything that interests your child.
If you would like more help with parenting strategies for raising a middle schooler, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, Texas, follow these three steps:
1. Contact our office to set up an appointment or get more information on parenting.
2. Meet with one of our understanding therapists.
3. Find other ways to help your middle schooler with therapy today!
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!