Supporting a Friend: A Therapist’s Perspective

Posted: September 30, 2024

By: Natasha Cooke, MS, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S

Supporting a Friend: A Therapist’s Perspective

Is someone that you care about struggling emotionally or mentally through a difficult time in their life? Do you want to help but aren’t sure how? As a trained mental health professional, here you’ll find some of my tips on some common “do’s” and “don’ts” of supporting a friend or loved one.

Why It’s Important to Acknowledge Your Loved One Is Struggling

Although it may be tempting to pretend like everything is okay, this could be doing more harm than good to your loved one. You may not outright want to say, “Hey, you aren’t handling this well,” but you can still show your support in a number of ways. Acknowledging that your friend is going through a hard time helps to validate their feelings of hardship. Below are some examples of how to support them and ways that may not be the best methods of support. I break it down into “don’ts” and “do’s” of supporting a friend.

The “Don’ts” of Supporting a Friend

Don’t: Tell them things could be worse

This often invalidates your friend’s experience and makes them feel guilty for having a hard time coping with their current life situation.

Don’t: Force them to open-up to you if they are not ready

Although this may seem contradictory, some people are best supported in ways that aren’t talking. They also may need more time to process their own thoughts and feelings before sharing them with someone else.

Don’t: Tell them you know what’s best for them

While it may seem apparent or obvious to you what changes your loved one needs to make to get better, ultimately, you most likely do not know the entire truth or situation they are dealing with.

Don’t: Say you know exactly what they are going through

While it seems helpful, the practice of saying “I know exactly what you’re going through” is another way you may unintentionally invalidate your friend’s feelings.

The “Do’s” of Supporting a Friend

Do: Validate their feelings

The practice of validating feelings is often simpler than people believe it to be. The point is to acknowledge that the individual is going through a difficult time, which is the first step to showing your support.

Do: Support them in a way that best suits them

Supporting your loved one may look very different than your own vision of support. For instance, supporting your friend may look like giving them a hug, watching a favorite TV show of theirs with them, listening to them tell a story about someone they recently lost (if they are grieving), bringing them a glass of water or something to eat, or just simply being there with them. The best way to find out how to support your loved one is to ask them, “How can I support you now or in the future?”

Do: Encourage Your loved one to think about what’s best for them

Instead of telling your friend one way to improve their situation or feelings, you can encourage them to begin thinking about how they would like to approach the situation. For instance, saying something along the lines of “What do you feel is best for you?” Another way to do this is to encourage them to seek out professional help – if it’s something they are open to. Maybe supporting them looks like researching therapists on the web with them. If they agree, they would like your assistance finding professional help.

Do: Show Empathy, Not Sympathy

Showing empathy doesn’t mean saying you understand exactly what your loved one is going through. Instead, you can empathize with a particular feeling they are experiencing, such as sadness, despair, frustration, or feeling alone.

Begin Therapy in Katy, TX!

If you need more direction to help manage your emotions, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide mental health counseling, as well as other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:

Contact our office to set up an appointment or to learn more information
Meet with one of our knowledgeable therapists
Find ways to thrive through therapy today!

Other Therapy Services We Offer:

Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men's issues, women's issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!