They Pressed My Buttons in Our Relationship

Posted: May 6, 2024

By: Margie Frisco, MA, LPC, CATP

They Pressed My Buttons

Many times in a relationship, it can feel like your partner is pressing your buttons on purpose. What I mean by this is that it can feel like your partner is intentionally doing things to upset you. Sometimes, that can be not picking up after themselves. Or it can even be your partner not giving you the attention you need. Sometimes, when we feel this way, we can fill in the blanks with what makes sense to us. For instance, if your partner is not giving you attention, you may think the partner does not want to. Or we can even feel they do not want to be in the relationship anymore. This blog will review how to recognize when a button is being pressed and what to do with it when it happens. Keep in mind that not every relationship looks the same. If you are looking for something more tailored to your relationship, please call today to talk with one of our caring therapists to get more details.

How Buttons Get Pressed in a Relationship

Again, what I mean by a button is an event that can cause big feelings. This button does not always have to bring up anger. Activating buttons in a relationship can also make someone feel sad, lonely, irritated, or any emotion. Some common buttons can be:

Not hearing out your partner.
Telling a partner how to feel or that their feelings are not valid.
Not respecting boundaries.
Judgment from a partner.
Not talking with your partner.
Withdrawing from the relationship intentionally.

These are just a few. In many relationships, buttons can be pressed for several different reasons. Sometimes, people might intentionally or unintentionally press buttons to try to get attention from their partner. They may not be able to put their needs into words. Maybe the person doesn’t even know they have a need.

What to do When a Button is Pressed in a Relationship

Clear and direct communication can be beneficial when a button has been pressed. This kind of communication needs to come from both people. Let’s define clear and direct communication. Clear communication means that we stick to the topic at hand. Sometimes, in communication, we can make the message clearer. This can happen when we bring up multiple issues or ramble on too long. Also, another essential part of communication is how we say the words. Tone/inflection can heavily impact this. For instance, if your partner is struggling, they might not want to say anything if their partner might roll their eyes or yell. Being intentional with how you talk with your partner will impact if they feel comfortable enough to talk about hard things. Direct communication means that it gets to the point. For example, if we are feeling frustrated with a specific task, we might go on about how it really makes us feel and vent. In this case, venting might escalate the conversation. Saying what you need to remedy the task can be very helpful in finding a resolution.

In Conclusion

The reason why resolution is so important is because if we leave a situation unresolved, the button can and probably will be pressed again. In conclusion, to help stop the buttons from being pressed in a relationship, finding what caused the button to be pressed and clear/direct communication is needed.

Begin Therapy in Katy, TX!

If you are ready to start working on_____, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide mental health counseling, as well as other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:

Contact our office to set up an appointment or to learn more information
Meet with one of our knowledgeable therapists
Find ways to thrive through therapy today!

Other Therapy Services We Offer:

Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men's issues, women's issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!