Three Tips to Help Your Perfectionist Child Worry Less
Posted: March 11, 2024
By: Rachel Fowler, MS, LPC, NCC
Avoid using the word "perfect"
Children have a difficult time understanding the abstract meaning of "perfect". As adults, we understand perfection is unrealistic. Perfectionism is idealistic but not the ultimate goal. When we consider children's ability to understand perfection instead of trying to explain an abstract idea that they are not developmentally able to understand. It would be simpler just to eliminate it from your vocabulary for the time. Avoid the words where you can and acknowledge your child's hard work and effort and not the end product.
Positive Outcomes from the transition from a fixed to a growth mindset.
When your child can stay in their growth mindset more often, this will ultimately lead to positive outcomes. Children can explore their emotions and experiences from a positive learning perspective. This will naturally encourage your child to do more and worry less.
Three Tips to Help Your Perfectionist Child Worry Less
Perfectionist children tend to have a fixed mindset. Children with fixed mindsets often set high standards to meet perfection and avoid judgment. They also have a strong focus and rumination on their mistakes. Children with a fixed mindset need more guidance working towards establishing a growth mindset which helps them worry less. A growth mindset looks like being intrinsically motivated and focuses on learning, not mistakes.Three ways to help your child worry less
Avoid using the word "perfect"
Children have a difficult time understanding the abstract meaning of "perfect". As adults, we understand perfection is unrealistic. Perfectionism is idealistic but not the ultimate goal. When we consider children's ability to understand perfection instead of trying to explain an abstract idea that they are not developmentally able to understand. It would be simpler just to eliminate it from your vocabulary for the time. Avoid the words where you can and acknowledge your child's hard work and effort and not the end product.
Assist in setting and establishing realistic goals
If you notice your child has a pattern of setting high standards and getting easily frustrated when they don't meet them. It might be time to step in and guide them towards smaller and more attainable goals. Once you can encourage them toward the smaller goal, you can emphasize and praise the effort given to achieve it. This will slowly start to rewire their brain to emphasize effort over the end product of perfection.To help them worry less, be the example of a non-perfect person
One of the most important acts a parental figure could do is to be an example of a non-perfect person. Acknowledge your own mistakes and model the behaviors it takes to manage those uncomfortable feelings. This might take some overacting at first, like verbally talking through your thought process and expressive facial and body movements. As you walk through those behaviors for your child, they will naturally adopt what you are saying and doing as their response.Positive Outcomes from the transition from a fixed to a growth mindset. 
When your child can stay in their growth mindset more often, this will ultimately lead to positive outcomes. Children can explore their emotions and experiences from a positive learning perspective. This will naturally encourage your child to do more and worry less.
Begin therapy for more tips to help your child worry less in Katy, TX!
If you feel like your child could benefit from counseling related to perfectionism, worry, or anxiety, let one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch help! To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:- Contact our office to set up an appointment or to learn more information
- Meet with one of our knowledgeable therapists
- Find ways to thrive through therapy today!