What is a Boundary?

By: M. Katherine Lickteig, MA, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S

Boundary-building Techniques

Establishing a healthy boundary can be difficult. Telling people where to stop and how to engage with you can be intimidating. But you can establish guidelines that will help you to form healthy boundaries that will enrich your life. Next we will go over some healthy ways to put boundaries into place.

Helpful Boundary Guidelines:

 

1. Boundary to Establish limits

You need to know what you stand for and what you value to set boundaries. You have to know your limits.

2. Boundary that No is Okay

The word is simple but very difficult for a lot of people. There is no need to yell or scream, but you must be firm. Make sure that you are direct, but you must consider cultural boundaries and respect them. Clear respectful communication is always key.

3. Boundaries Help to Feel Safe and Self-assured

Boundaries when done right will give you the feeling of being safe. Fear about what others say and think will no longer keep you awake at night, and stuck in a cycle of self-doubt. When you feel guilty that sets you up for overextending yourself and when you overextend that can lead to you being used.

4. Trust Your Instincts

Your sixth sense is probably right if someone rubs you the wrong way for some reason. If you are bothered by certain behaviors from another person, that may be because you are not feeling respected by that person.

5. You Get to Choose the Boundary

Remember that you oversee your life. There are always options in life. If a job, a relationship, or an opportunity doesn’t work out, remind yourself that now is not the right time. Take the situation for the learning experience it was and move on. You’ll never be stuck so long as you keep moving forward.

6. Reciprocal Relationships and Boundaries

Make sure that when you are making friends that they have reciprocal relationships. People with loose boundaries will do too much to maintain relationships. When making friends ask yourself what you’re willing to give to the relationship. Decide what the other person needs to give. This will lead to both people getting a mutual benefit

7. Passive-aggressive Behaviors in Boundaries

Beware of passive-aggressive behaviors and learn how to recognize them.

8. Never Over-explain in Boundaries

Say what you mean and mean what you say. The key to boundaries is to communicate with clarity, and confidence, and always keep it simple. When you start trying to justify yourself, you leave yourself open to having your boundaries ignored or people do not buy what you are saying.

Still, having difficulty with boundaries?

If after all of that you are still having difficulty forming boundaries in your life, if you are having difficulties establishing boundaries, you may want to start small. You can practice boundary-setting in small increments and build up from there. For example, if you do not prefer to hug people, then don’t. Greet them in another way.  It is not important how you choose to handle your boundaries. The important thing is that you develop clear boundaries. Boundaries are essential to a healthy life and balanced relationships.  

Begin Therapy in Katy, TX!

If you are ready to learn how to implement boundaries, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling and mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:

1. Contact our office to set up an appointment or to learn more about boundaries.
2. Meet with one of our compassionate therapists.
3. Uncover ways to understand your personal boundaries.

Other Therapy Services We Offer:

Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!