What is Self-Compassion

By: Ally Hoffman, MA, LPC-Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, LPC-S Self-Compassion can be hard.  Often when I ask clients how they show self-compassion. I get questions and confusion in return. What is self-compassion? What actions would I need to take? Where do I start? For many, the idea of showing yourself a little grace is foreign. Humans are social creatures, and we often fall victim to social comparison. We measure our accomplishments and success based on others’ benchmarking systems. As a result, we are often very hard on ourselves if and when we are not meeting what society deems to be the next benchmark.

Self -Compassion versus Criticism

The human experience has all kinds of twists and turns. Almost every day, it’s likely that we will run into some unfamiliar situation or circumstance. We are all just doing our best to trudge through each of these challenges with the information we have at our disposal at that moment. Unfor tunately, because we often tend to hear a lot of criticism, that is the lens we use to view our circumstances. I mean, think about it, the news is riddled with bad, and you have to go and look for the good. Whether it be constructive or not, our society leads to us passing judgment on our actions. Granted a necessary skill for growth, it can damage our mental and overall well-being if we overuse this critiquing.

Show Self-Compassion by Using Positive Self-talk

I ask clients to think about whether or not they would speak to their friends the way they talk to themselves. We, as well as others, are quick to point out what is going wrong. In reality, sometimes we need to be okay with ourselves for having tried to put in some effort. Consider the idea of showing yourself and others kindness in small moments with consideration for the human experience - we are all dealing with something! Miriam-Webster defines compassion as “sympathetic consciousness of other’s distress together with a desire to alleviate it.” Being compassionate is saying to yourself, “Wow! That was really human of me. I’m not thrilled about it, BUT THAT IS OKAY!” Thinking of what you would want someone else to do to comfort you at that moment? Ask yourself, “what does support look like for me right now?” And tending to yourself or garnering the resources that will help you in that way.

Counseling Can Help with Learning How to Practice Self-Compassion.

Sometimes that looks like giving yourself permission to ask for help when you feel you need a little more guidance. This practice can be difficult and often frustrating as it goes against our natural inclination to pass judgment and critique. Unlearning that behavior can take time, and learning those skills can be done in the comfort of a counseling session!

Begin Counseling for Enhancing Self-Compassion

Do you want to enhance your ability to practice self-compassion? One of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide individual counseling services virtually and in person. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:

1. Contact our office to set up an appointment or to learn more about showing yourself grace
2. Meet with one of our skilled therapists
3. Embrace the human experience for what it is – without too much judgement!

Other Therapy Services We Offer:

Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!