What Parenting Style Do You Have?

By: Margie Frisco, MA, LPC-Associate

Supervised by Melissa Barton, LPC-S

Your parenting style can directly influence what you do when you are parenting. Let’s get real. Parenting is hard! Kids do not come with manuals. Sometimes it can feel like we are flying by the seat of our pants. Let’s explore different ways to parent.

What is a Parenting Style?

Parenting styles are different ways to parent a child. Some can be more effective than others. But each style can change how your child develops and grows emotionally and socially.  

There are four different parenting styles: authoritarian, permissive, dismissive, and authoritative. Each type has a set of attitudes, strategies, and behaviors that directly impact the child and the child-parent relationship. See below to explore each style and how it can affect your child.

Authoritarian Parenting Style

This parenting style is more direct, stern, and structured. Parents in this style typically have high expectations, little warmth, and severe punishments. This can impact the child in a way that teaches them to be more withdrawn and shut down. The child learns when they do something wrong, not necessarily that the behavior was bad, but that the parent will get mad.

Most children typically do self-soothing from time to time. The lack of conversation and more direct ruling makes the warmth low. When the warmth is low, the child is left to self-soothe. In excess, this can cause the child to feel unsafe in their own homes. 

Permissive Parenting Style

This parenting style is the opposite of authoritarian. Permissive parenting is being more of the child’s friend. These parents’ behaviors are typically no rules, inconsistency from the parent, low expectations, and high warmth.  

These behaviors teach a child that there is a lack of consequences for their actions. The child can begin to act more immaturely, lack of discovery, and have low self-esteem. When the child misbehaves in this parenting style, there are few consequences.  

Dismissive Parenting Style

This parenting style is more of a lack of parenting. The parents are more uninvolved.   This can impact the child’s behaviors by creating indifference, less self-control, and relationship difficulties.  

Children who grow up in a dismissive home tend to have difficulties with relationships because they do not get a chance to have a healthy bond with their parents. They also do not really understand following directions and boundaries because, again, they did not have any growing up.

Authoritative Parenting Style

Finally, this parenting style has warmth, expectations, and clear consequences. This parenting style is mainly different due to talking things out. For example, authoritarianism has clear rules with harsh punishments. Whereas authoritative talk through the issue. There could be a punishment, but the parent talks through calmly about why the child did the behavior and why the discipline must be enforced.  

Children do not have a brain with analytical thought yet. What I mean by this is that they might not understand why their electronics are taken away a week later other than their behavior made their parents mad. Each age level is different in their comprehension of the situation. But remember, if we talk things out to help them understand, it can be helpful for you and them.

Summing it Up

Each parenting style is different. How we as parents react to situations influences our children. Parenting styles can help teach children where they can feel safe and who they can talk to. Allowing your child to begin to think through their actions can help the child in the long run!

Begin Parenting Counseling at Our Center in Katy, TX!

If you would like more help with parenting styles, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, Texas, follow these three steps:

1. Contact our office to set up an appointment or get more information on parenting styles. 
2. Meet with one of our understanding therapists
3. Find other ways to help you today!

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