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By: M. Katherine Lickteig, MA, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S What is resilience in children? Resilience in children is the ability to bounce back from stressors in life such as everyday stress, adversity, failure, life challenges, or even trauma. Unfortunately, kids are not born with resiliency. Most children come equipped with the […]
What is resilience in children? Resilience in children is the ability to bounce back from
stressors in life such as everyday stress, adversity, failure, life challenges, or even trauma. Unfortunately, kids are not born with resiliency. Most children come equipped with the ability to work through challenges. However, it’s a skill that children develop this skill as they grow.
Why should parents want to develop resilience in their children? Resilient kids have the confidence to take healthy risks. These kids don’t have a fear of falling short of expectations. Resilient kids tend to be curious and brave. Children who develop resiliency develop the ability to trust their instincts. Emotionally healthy people show knowledge of their limits. Children will also push themselves to step outside of their comfort zones. Resiliency helps children to reach their long-term goals. They have to confidence to solve their problems independently.
Despite our best efforts, parents can’t protect kids from everything. Kids are going to encounter stress as they grow. Kids may get sick, move to a new neighborhood, they may face bullies and cyberbullies, will have to take tests, may have to cope with grief, lose friends, or even deal with divorce. These are just a few things that kids may experience. In comparison, these things might seem small in our eyes. But, unfortunately, they can feel huge to children.
Resilience gives kids the ability to navigate stressful situations. When kids have the confidence to work through faith to confront complex issues, when children are allowed to bounce back on their own instead of parents stepping to solve their problems, children will internalize the message that they are strong and capable. When they have developed resiliency, they will develop the confidence to lead a successful life. their problems, they gain the
Parents can help kids build resilience by teaching them to solve problems independently. As parents, we are inclined to jump in so that our child does not experience any discomfort. Unfortunately, when we do this, we destroy our children’s self-confidence. We need our kids to experience hardships to gain the confidence to work through their problems. If we do not allow children to develop this skill set, they will experience anxiety and shut down any time they come upon adversity. Here are some ways that parents can help to foster a strong sense of resiliency in their children.
Parents need to spend one-on-one time with their kids: This helps children develop coping skills within caring relationships. In addition, positive connections give you the ability to model coping and problem-solving skills to your children.
Encouraging your children to take healthy risks is extremely important. Healthy risks encourage a child to go outside of their comfort zone but have very little danger if they are unsuccessful. We have to realize that when kids avoid risk, they internalize that they are not strong enough to handle any threats.
Children often come to their parents to solve their problems, and our natural response is to lecture or explain. A better strategy may be to ask the child questions. We can help children by bouncing the problem back to the child, allowing them the opportunity to solve their problems.
When we help our children learn how to brainstorm solutions, parents engage the child in the process of solving problems. Problem-solving will help children develop a list of ideas and then allow them to weigh the pros and cons of each one.
Teach your kids that feelings are important, and when they can label their feelings, it will help them make sense of what they’re experiencing. For example, children need to know it’s okay to feel anxious, sad, jealous, etc., and reassure them that bad feelings usually pass.
Deep breathing exercises help kids relax and calm themselves when they experience stress or frustration. In addition, coping skills enable them to remain calm and process the situation.
Remember that children who avoid failure tend to lack resilience. Children who avoid failure tend to be very anxious. Try not to focus on the outcome because this will force kids into the pass/fail cycle. If you focus on the result instead of the process, children will avoid taking risks. Making mistakes puts children in a growth mindset. This mindset sends the message to kids that mistakes help them learn.
If we want our children to be resilient, we must teach them to be resilient. One great way to teach resiliency is to model it for our children. Life is full of stressful situations. We often use coping and calming strategies. When adults are going through this, it is helpful to our children to label our emotions. We need to show them how to solve problems by talking through how we solve them.
Exercise helps strengthen our brains, and when our brains are supported, it makes them more resilient to stress and adversity. There are many great ways for kids to get exercise, such as. Team sports organized playgroups, but ever underestimate the power of simply allowing your child to free play. Free play builds your child’s creativity and builds resilience.
So why is resilience an essential skill for children to learn? First, parents need to remember that resilience is a skill that helps kids navigate the obstacles they encounter as they grow. In comparison, it is not possible to avoid stress in life. So, teaching our children to be resilient is one of the best ways to teach them to cope with it.
If you would like more help with parenting strategies or building your relationship with your kid(s), one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, Texas, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Do you have a child that struggles with separation anxiety? Do you have a partner that is out of town frequently? Are you planning to be away from your child for some time? Are you not sure how to prepare them for the […]
By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC AssociateDo you have a child that struggles with separation anxiety? Do you have a partner that is out of town frequently? Are you planning to be away from your child for some time? Are you not sure how to prepare them for the separation? Whether you are in a military family, where separation is frequent, or travel for work, this blog can help you navigate the stress of separation. Separation anxiety is normal for young children. We are hard-wired to depend on attachment figures for survival. Separation anxiety can look like excessive fear or worry that the attachment figure may not return or feel anxious or afraid that an unexpected adverse event may happen. A child may cling to their parents excessively, refuse to go to sleep without the attachment figure, and can experience physical symptoms such as headaches, vomiting, and nausea.
If you are traveling for work, change how you define the event. Instead of looking at a time away as an adverse event, for example, saying, “My work is making me go out of town,” changing it to “I get to help others, learn a new skill, solve a hard problem, etc.” Talk to your child about the meaning behind your work if you are going on a work trip. You can learn more with your child about the food, culture, or what kids like to do for fun in that location, and even find videos online to watch together.
There are many fun ways to countdown the days for the parent’s return. You could make a DIY count-down calendar until the day the parents return or make a collage of the places they have traveled, even have a candy jar for the days they are gone, and eat one a day until the reunion.
You can get more ideas here.
Make a routine for when you will talk to your child while away and keep it consistent. Creating structure adds a degree of predictability for your child and allows them to know what to expect. Many apps for traveling parents can ease separation anxiety and help share pictures and updates.
There are many different books available with a recording option. That way, they can read it while you’re away with your voice, or you can make a video of you cooking or making their favorite dish together. The idea is something that they can replay that can help them feel connected to you.
Practice breathing exercises with your child together. Depending on your child’s age, you can practice blowing bubbles, having the child pretend to blow out candles on their fingertips, or practice deep breathing by breathing in through the nose, holding 3 seconds, and breathing out through the mouth for 3 seconds.
If you are ready to help your child find ways to cope with separation anxiety, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide individual and family counseling and other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, Counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Have you ever wondered if you would benefit from meditation or being more mindful, but don’t know where to start? Do you ever have racing thoughts that won’t go away? Maybe you finally settled in for the night, and suddenly visions of dread […]
Have you ever wondered if you would benefit from meditation or being more mindful, but don’t know where to start? Do you ever have racing thoughts that won’t go away? Maybe you finally settled in for the night, and suddenly visions of dread about the day ahead or past events creep in. You try your best to redirect your thoughts, but you can’t seem to find peace no matter how hard you try. Maybe you’ve heard of meditation or mindfulness before but had little success with it. Perhaps meditation worked for a while, but you found it hard to stick with it. This blog will look at five easy ways to get started with mindfulness meditation to help you deal with anxious thoughts and regain peace of mind.
Mindfulness means being present and aware of our recent experiences. When we are mindful, we fully pay attention to the present moment. Usually, when we are anxious, we think about the future or the past, therefore escaping the present moment. Being mindful means, we are willing to allow experiences to come as they are, without the urge to judge or change them. We can change our responses to the situation through mindfulness meditation instead of changing the events.
Find a quiet spot where you can be undisturbed for 20 minutes. Close your eyes, find a comfortable position, and do a quick body scan. Check to see if you feel any discomfort or tightness in the body. If you are feeling anxious or worried, acknowledge those feelings as well. Be present with the feelings and sensations that arise and let them be. Let go of the urge to figure out why you feel them.
Bring your attention to your breath. Where do you feel your breath the most? In your chest, your nose, your stomach? You can count the breaths as they come in and out. If you find your mind wandering, gently bring it back to your breath. Practice deep, diaphragm breathing. You can start by breathing in for 4 seconds, holding your breath for 4 seconds, and breathing out for 8 seconds.
Riding the wave is a technique you can use as your anxious feelings arise. The idea is that you do not need to banish or change your negative feelings but instead practice “surfing your emotions.” Like a surfer does not fight the ocean wave but moves with it, you can proceed with a wave of emotion to its natural conclusion. As thoughts or feelings of anxiety arise, practice fully accepting them. Our natural inclination may be to distract ourselves, control, or escape this unpleasant state. Part of mindfulness meditation is to allow emotions to rise and fall and observe. Remember that this feeling is temporary, and just like a wave, it will peak and decline.
This mindfulness technique can help you calm your mind when you are stressed out or overthinking. This technique grounds you in the present moment by engaging your senses and breathing. To practice this, take deep breaths and name five things you can see nearby; four things you can touch; three you can hear; two you can smell; and one you can taste. By practicing engaging with our senses, we can be more grounded in the present moment.
A warm bath or shower can be a perfect place to practice meditation. Bring your attention to your breath, and visualize the water washing away stress or anxiety. To enhance the experience, you can add essential oils such as lavender or eucalyptus to a diffuser or use scented candles to remind you to engage your senses. You can combine all the other techniques as you are doing this one as part of your night or morning routine, or pick your favorite one and begin there.
The key is to practice meditation regularly or incorporate it as part of your morning or evening routine. With regular practice, you can start to reduce stress and anxiety. To learn more about the benefits of meditation, click here.
If you would like more help getting started with mindfulness, meditation, or anxiety therapy, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy Texas, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!