Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch
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By: Ally Hoffman, MA, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Whenever I hear the word habit anymore, all I have running through my head is the new Ed Sheeran song that exclaims, “My bad habits lead to…,” prompting me to consider my habits. We all have them. We all know them well. As […]
Whenever I hear the word habit anymore, all I have running through my head is the new Ed Sheeran song that exclaims, “My bad
habits lead to…,” prompting me to consider my habits. We all have them. We all know them well. As humans, we know how the saying goes – we are creatures of habit. Meaning, that we fall back into similar patterns of behavior that we know to be familiar and sometimes useful to us. They can come in all forms, too: the good, the bad, and the ugly! We create some of them to keep us organized, like tidying your home throughout the week or keeping a schedule or routine. We have others because they have become a part of our “norms,” like popping a piece of gum in your mouth before a date, holding the door open for others, or even the order we get ready in the morning. Then, we keep others for comfort or control, like biting our nails and turning on the tv to distract us from other things, and they ultimately end up sometimes doing more harm than good.
Initially, when the idea of habits was presented to me recently, it was by a friend of mine who had started reading the book, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg. I was fascinated by the information she shared with me from what she had learned from the author. I furthered my research by diving into a little more research from another author contributing to the literary work surrounding the topics, James Clear, author of Atomic Habits. Overall, here are the main takeaways that I was able to gather:
Habit stacking is critical – once you have one in your repertoire, you can build. Be careful not to start with too many things. Too much at one time can be overwhelming and lead to a lack of follow-through. Instead, keep one main idea in mind and break it down into minimal steps to get there. Then, start with a bit of action.
Instead of thinking of building new habits, instead change bad ones. For example, if you start your mornings on social media, change it to something more productive, like using that time to brush your teeth, read a book, journal, workout, etc.
Also, it is imperative to reward yourself when you finish a habit! Your reward can be a feeling of accomplishment or something more tangible, like a new outfit or a treat. It’s part of the habit loop: you have a cue, routine, and reward.
Clients often share that their dreams may feel too big, or ideas they have may seem wholly outrageous or out of reach. However, I would like to believe that no goal is too big! People defy the odds, but it takes a hint of courage to be the odd man out. We live in a world where we are constantly compared to our peers and other people. In a podcast featuring authors Brené Brown and Emmanuel Acho, they discuss the importance of being Illogical with our thinking. They describe this idea that we should look at social constructs and challenge the status quo from an academic perspective! For example, if I believe that I want to become a world-class musician, the odds may be stacked against me, but if I work hard and dedicate time, we can achieve great things.
Now, it’s important to note that some individuals are more naturally adept at things than others. So, realistically, there may be some things that we cannot achieve. I encourage my clients to show bravery in the face of uncertainty, find something they are good at and love, and give it all you got! Despite what some may tell you, we can create change in our immediate environments and beyond. Thinking illogically means we are thinking outside of the box or system that has been put in front of us. Who tells us we can’t be all that we have ever dreamed of?
Do you want to learn how to develop new norms and overhaul your bad habits? One of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide individual and family counseling and other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, Counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Margie Frisco, Life Coach Being a parent can be one of the hardest jobs in life. It can feel overwhelming to raise kids, with the pressure of allowing your children to have their feelings but still be in “control” of your own household. For many parents, the goal of parenting is to raise a […]
Being a parent can be one of the hardest jobs in life. It can feel overwhelming to raise kids, with the pressure of allowing your children to have their feelings but still be in “control” of your own household. For many parents, the goal of parenting is to raise a child that can be self-sufficient in adulthood.
Establish Clear Boundaries:As a parent, we get to choose what the rules are, how to enforce them, and how to react if the rules are not kept. With that being said, children are not mind readers. Here are a few ways to ensure that the rules are clearly defined and understood by the child. First, you can have them repeat back what the rules and consequences (positive and negative) are. Another way to help children comply with the rules, or boundaries is to have them help create the rules and boundaries. This can be particularly effective for grade school and middle school kids. Also, as a reminder, having the rules listed so if the child forgets or needs a reminder, they are visible.
As parents it is important to openly listen to our children. Listening and validating your child’s feelings and emotions will allow them to practice this specific communication technique that will benefit them in future relationships with partners, in their future workspace, and in their social life. This allows your child to practice effectively communicating how they feel in a healthy way, also indicating to them when a relationship is unhealthy and unproductive for them. They will gain confidence and be able to speak up for themselves and to again be a self-sufficient adult, even when others are not treating them well.
To address punishment, keep in mind everyone can have a different definition of punishment, whether that looks like taking something away, grounding, or additional chores. Make sure that the punishment is fitting for the initial rule that was broken. For example, if we are just starting out with a new rule, your child might need some grace in remembering the new rule. Or if a child forgets to do a chore for the hundredth time, maybe a little more than just reminding. Remember parents how we felt when we had major punishments as a child? Did it make you feel that you could come to your parents and talk openly?
Rewards or incentives for good behavior can also deter poor behavior. Utilizing a reward system also can prepare your child for a more real world experience. For example, if a child does their chores they can be rewarded with a family game night where they can choose the game or allowing them to choose what is made for dinner one night. The reward doesn’t have to be money. The basic option of allowing a child to make a decision and choose to reach a goal sets them up with the same systems that they can use in adulthood.
If you are ready to improve your parenting skills, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin parenting counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!