Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch
My WordPress Blog
By: Margie Frisco, Life Coach Being a parent can be one of the hardest jobs in life. It can feel overwhelming to raise kids, with the pressure of allowing your children to have their feelings but still be in “control” of your own household. For many parents, the goal of parenting is to raise a […]
Being a parent can be one of the hardest jobs in life. It can feel overwhelming to raise kids, with the pressure of allowing your children to have their feelings but still be in “control” of your own household. For many parents, the goal of parenting is to raise a child that can be self-sufficient in adulthood.
Establish Clear Boundaries:As a parent, we get to choose what the rules are, how to enforce them, and how to react if the rules are not kept. With that being said, children are not mind readers. Here are a few ways to ensure that the rules are clearly defined and understood by the child. First, you can have them repeat back what the rules and consequences (positive and negative) are. Another way to help children comply with the rules, or boundaries is to have them help create the rules and boundaries. This can be particularly effective for grade school and middle school kids. Also, as a reminder, having the rules listed so if the child forgets or needs a reminder, they are visible.
As parents it is important to openly listen to our children. Listening and validating your child’s feelings and emotions will allow them to practice this specific communication technique that will benefit them in future relationships with partners, in their future workspace, and in their social life. This allows your child to practice effectively communicating how they feel in a healthy way, also indicating to them when a relationship is unhealthy and unproductive for them. They will gain confidence and be able to speak up for themselves and to again be a self-sufficient adult, even when others are not treating them well.
To address punishment, keep in mind everyone can have a different definition of punishment, whether that looks like taking something away, grounding, or additional chores. Make sure that the punishment is fitting for the initial rule that was broken. For example, if we are just starting out with a new rule, your child might need some grace in remembering the new rule. Or if a child forgets to do a chore for the hundredth time, maybe a little more than just reminding. Remember parents how we felt when we had major punishments as a child? Did it make you feel that you could come to your parents and talk openly?
Rewards or incentives for good behavior can also deter poor behavior. Utilizing a reward system also can prepare your child for a more real world experience. For example, if a child does their chores they can be rewarded with a family game night where they can choose the game or allowing them to choose what is made for dinner one night. The reward doesn’t have to be money. The basic option of allowing a child to make a decision and choose to reach a goal sets them up with the same systems that they can use in adulthood.
If you are ready to improve your parenting skills, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin parenting counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!