Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch
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By: Jessica Johns-Green, LPC Do you struggle with depression and self-care? Depression affects millions of people. If you are struggling with depression, you are not alone. It is estimated that over 17 million people in the US have had at least one major depressive episode. Depression is treatable with self-care, medication, counseling, or a combination […]
Do you struggle with depression and self-care? Depression affects millions of people. If you are struggling with depression, you are not alone. It is estimated that over 17 million people in the US have had at least one major depressive episode. Depression is treatable with self-care, medication, counseling, or a combination of these. Here’s a look at what depression is and two things to start doing that can help your healing.
Depression, also called major depressive disorder, is characterized by sadness, low mood, and a lack of interest in things. But depression is not just being sad. Depression is longer lasting and has a more profound effect on daily life. Commonly, people struggling with depression express feelings of hopelessness. Depression can affect your ability to work, maintain relationships and engage in self-care.
Some Common Characteristics of Depression Include:
Depression is thought to be caused by a combination of things. There may be biological factors – how systems in the physical bodywork – that make someone more prone to depression. Social factors – our relationships, our family backgrounds, and our place in the world around us – can trigger depression or make recovery from depression more difficult. Our unique personalities – the psychological strengths and challenges we bring, such as how we typically think and how we respond to situations and challenges. Read more about depression, symptoms, and treatment here.
Depression can make you feel like it’s impossible to feel better. It can make you feel like you are powerless to ever be any different than you feel now. Depression treatment can include medication, therapy, and self-care. The American Psychiatric Association estimates that 80% of people who seek treatment eventually feel better. Although the recovery process may take months, it is worth it.
Counseling for depression will often begin with an inventory of your symptoms and a history of your experience with depression. Although every person is different, depression therapy will usually highlight ways of thinking, general attitudes, or even deep-rooted beliefs that are widespread and common among depressed people.
Depression seems to force us to think of things in an all-or-nothing way. We can see no hope or good in things that once made us feel happy. We see ourselves as worthless, useless, and powerless. While depressive thinking isn’t our ‘fault’, and you are not to blame if you notice your mind going in that direction, there is often great benefit in challenging depressive thinking.
When depression grabs hold it can be difficult to see things in the way we do when we’re not depressed. You can start working towards a better mood now by doing this simple task.
To be most effective with this exercise, write down one achievement and something you feel grateful for. On a scale of 1-10 (with 1 being low) rate each one. Rating it on a scale allows us to practice being less ‘all-or-nothing’ in our thinking. Instead of thinking, ‘I didn’t do enough, it doesn’t count,’ the rating system allows us to appreciate that some things deserve credit, even if they aren’t up to the same standard as when we are feeling well.
Challenging yourself to find an achievement provides a basis to question the feelings of worthlessness and uselessness that fuel depression. Looking for something to be grateful for doesn’t mean that we are ungrateful when suffering from depression. But it does provide a tool to practice healthier styles of thinking by actively looking for something we possibly didn’t notice when depression is narrowing our attention.
It’s a small task, it’s simple, but internally it’s almost like you are asking yourself to step outside of depression for a moment. And that can be so tough. Be ok with not doing it well. Don’t punish yourself for not doing it every day. it might feel like you don’t push yourself enough, and that if you were better you wouldn’t be having this problem. But the truth is, criticizing yourself won’t help.
What is your definition of achievement? On some days, depression means that just getting up to brush your teeth can be a big achievement. On other days, you might do a lot, but not feel achieved. Are there other things you’ve not noticed before? Use the activity as a tool to break the cycle of depressive thinking.
When possible, add in activities, and plans that could help encourage feelings of gratitude or achievement. They don’t have to be big. Take time for yourself in some way. A moment to appreciate something in the world, even if it’s not perfect.
Depression is difficult, and even if this exercise isn’t for you, help is available. Our skilled therapists will work with you to develop a treatment plan specifically for your needs. If you think you have depression, seek help. If you or someone you know is at risk of harming themselves or others, phone 911 immediately. Here at the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, our therapists are ready to help. Contact us to arrange a session with a licensed counselor or supervised intern.
If you would like more information regarding depression, the therapists at the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling and mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Margie Frisco MA, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton MA, LPC-S Is it hard to motivate your kid(s)? Sometimes, it can be hard to get your child to do what you ask them to do. For example, how often do we have to say pick up your stuff or do your homework? It […]
Is it hard to motivate your kid(s)? Sometimes, it can be hard to
get your child to do what you ask them to do. For example, how often do we have to say pick up your stuff or do your homework? It can even feel like a tug of war! It can even be done without yelling, arguing, or feeling like something failed. What if I told you some new ways you can try to motivate your kids? Below are some helpful tips.
Knowing how to motivate your child can be easy and hard for others. Maybe the child doesn’t know what they want. Or it can feel like anything you do as a parent does not make it any easier.
Creating a space where the child can explore what they like can be helpful. Creating such a space can help spark curiosity and play. Many child therapists would agree that freedom can be therapeutic for kids. This type of expression lets them feel free.
What motivates some kids might be harder to find when your child knows why they might participate more easily. The “why” is the result you are looking for. Children are more willing to join if they get a say in it, depending on their age.
For example, if you have a picky eater, have them help pack the lunch. I realize that if we allow children to pack their lunch, it could be filled with candy and junk food. What I mean by help is to put the sandwich together or have them draw a fun drawing on the bag of carrots.
Keep in mind that we want to limit this. As we learn and grow, we find out not everything has a reward. Limiting rewards helps children understand this concept.
Keep in mind that different ages are capable of other tasks. Please make sure the reward and what we are motivating are age-appropriate.
You can ensure the reward is appropriate by allowing the child to choose their prize themselves. Openly ask your child: “What do you want to work towards?” This sentence will enable your child to work towards making them happy versus avoiding punishment.
They can work towards the goal or reward by doing what you want them to do. A chore chart or a goal tracker can help you organize and follow their progress.
Many times as parents, we have high expectations for our children. We want them to do better or have better than what we had. Completely understandable. But we want to keep in mind what is realistic for their age.
For instance, kids between the ages of 3 to 6 tend to want to do adult things. These children might want to wear mom or dad’s
shoes or go to work. They are learning how to become more independent while making you happy.
Whereas children who are 6 to 12 are trying to understand the concepts of others. Specifically, they are beginning to understand how their actions can impact others. For example, elementary school-age children are at the age where they are trying to understand how they hurt a friend’s feelings.
If you would like more help with parenting strategies or building your relationship with your kid(s), one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, Texas, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Ally Hoffman, MA, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Whenever I hear the word habit anymore, all I have running through my head is the new Ed Sheeran song that exclaims, “My bad habits lead to…,” prompting me to consider my habits. We all have them. We all know them well. As […]
Whenever I hear the word habit anymore, all I have running through my head is the new Ed Sheeran song that exclaims, “My bad
habits lead to…,” prompting me to consider my habits. We all have them. We all know them well. As humans, we know how the saying goes – we are creatures of habit. Meaning, that we fall back into similar patterns of behavior that we know to be familiar and sometimes useful to us. They can come in all forms, too: the good, the bad, and the ugly! We create some of them to keep us organized, like tidying your home throughout the week or keeping a schedule or routine. We have others because they have become a part of our “norms,” like popping a piece of gum in your mouth before a date, holding the door open for others, or even the order we get ready in the morning. Then, we keep others for comfort or control, like biting our nails and turning on the tv to distract us from other things, and they ultimately end up sometimes doing more harm than good.
Initially, when the idea of habits was presented to me recently, it was by a friend of mine who had started reading the book, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg. I was fascinated by the information she shared with me from what she had learned from the author. I furthered my research by diving into a little more research from another author contributing to the literary work surrounding the topics, James Clear, author of Atomic Habits. Overall, here are the main takeaways that I was able to gather:
Habit stacking is critical – once you have one in your repertoire, you can build. Be careful not to start with too many things. Too much at one time can be overwhelming and lead to a lack of follow-through. Instead, keep one main idea in mind and break it down into minimal steps to get there. Then, start with a bit of action.
Instead of thinking of building new habits, instead change bad ones. For example, if you start your mornings on social media, change it to something more productive, like using that time to brush your teeth, read a book, journal, workout, etc.
Also, it is imperative to reward yourself when you finish a habit! Your reward can be a feeling of accomplishment or something more tangible, like a new outfit or a treat. It’s part of the habit loop: you have a cue, routine, and reward.
Clients often share that their dreams may feel too big, or ideas they have may seem wholly outrageous or out of reach. However, I would like to believe that no goal is too big! People defy the odds, but it takes a hint of courage to be the odd man out. We live in a world where we are constantly compared to our peers and other people. In a podcast featuring authors Brené Brown and Emmanuel Acho, they discuss the importance of being Illogical with our thinking. They describe this idea that we should look at social constructs and challenge the status quo from an academic perspective! For example, if I believe that I want to become a world-class musician, the odds may be stacked against me, but if I work hard and dedicate time, we can achieve great things.
Now, it’s important to note that some individuals are more naturally adept at things than others. So, realistically, there may be some things that we cannot achieve. I encourage my clients to show bravery in the face of uncertainty, find something they are good at and love, and give it all you got! Despite what some may tell you, we can create change in our immediate environments and beyond. Thinking illogically means we are thinking outside of the box or system that has been put in front of us. Who tells us we can’t be all that we have ever dreamed of?
Do you want to learn how to develop new norms and overhaul your bad habits? One of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide individual and family counseling and other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, Counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Janelle Schlueter, MS, LPC, NCC, CCTP How important is ‘normalizing’ for survivors of sexual assault? Arguably it is the most essential part. Normalizing occurs when a therapist takes a thought that the client believes to be ‘abnormal’ or ‘shameful’ and helps the client see that it is actually ‘normal.’ This is most often done through […]
How important is ‘normalizing’ for survivors of sexual assault? Arguably it is the most essential part. Normalizing occurs when a therapist takes a thought that the client believes to be ‘abnormal’ or ‘shameful’ and helps the client see that it is actually ‘normal.’ This is most often done through trauma-informed education. The result of normalizing is the removal of shame and the addition of confidence. Normalizing also significantly speeds up the healing process.
Physical arousal does not equal consent. Arousal is a natural body response. It is possible for a person not to want to participate in a sexual act, and their body can still respond to physical sensations by becoming aroused. An orgasm is even possible. It is more common than you’d think, but even during a sexual assault, the body response can overtake the anxious fight/flight thoughts. This means that you do not have to be emotionally calm and comfortable to feel pleasure. Once again, physical arousal or even orgasm does not equal consent!
When something traumatic happens to you, your brain has trouble accepting it as a reality. To allow you to gradually accept that the event has happened, your brain tends to change the memory to something more pleasant. This takes place in dreams when you cannot change your thoughts. Your brain will create more pleasant versions of what happened to you. These changes could be someone coming to your rescue, you physically fighting and winning, or making the event consensual and romanticized.
I am a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional who specializes in working with sexual assault survivors. I often hear from my clients that they are ‘ashamed’ by thoughts like these and others like them. It is vital to understand that shame or embarrassment after sexual assault is expected, but it is not yours to hold!
One way to let go of the shame is through your self-talk. Keep in mind that ‘our thoughts are not always our friend’. When you have encountered sexual assault, your thoughts tend to be hostile towards yourself. Keep challenging yourself with “would I say this to a friend who was sexually assaulted?” If the answer is no, do not say it to yourself!
If you are ready to find healing after sexual assault, one of the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide mental health counseling, as well as other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Ally Hoffman, MA, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Spring Cleaning in the mental health world takes on a whole new meaning. Typically, spring is when we all start checking in to see if we have followed through with our new year’s resolutions and begin reminding ourselves that it is okay to […]
Spring Cleaning in the mental health world takes on a whole new meaning. Typically, spring is when we all start checking in to see if we have followed through with our new year’s resolutions and begin reminding ourselves that it is okay to begin anew by cleaning our homes! This spring, we encourage you to shift your perspective by turning inward, focusing on cleansing your mind, body, and soul! This can include scrubbing the baseboards, washing drapes, cleaning windows, etc.
Beginning with a clean slate can seem somewhat intimidating! Contrary to popular belief, cleansing does NOT require a complete overhaul of all you have known. The spring cleaning we are talking about includes making minor edits that create BIG change – like a ripple effect. If there is one thing that we have all learned along the way, we rarely find significant shifts happen overnight. I tell my clients it is crucial to work with ourselves instead of against ourselves throughout the therapeutic process. For instance, if we know that we work better off based on receiving rewards, why do we continue to reinforce ourselves with punishments? That being the case, it is essential to adjust our expectations and show ourselves grace along the way!
Specifically, clients will ask me, “where do I start?” when they begin their healing journeys. My first point of reference often describes that our physical space is very representative of our mental space. In suggesting this, clients take a moment to reflect on the visuals that they see most frequently: their cars, their workspaces, their bedrooms, etcetera. By reducing the amount of clutter in your immediate space, you can reduce the chaos in your mind. Further, finding a practice that allows you to let go of unwanted troubles in your life. For example, we spend a lot of time and energy online, and considering the source, tone, and content involved in the accounts we follow can significantly impact our mental health. Unfollowing or unsubscribing to media that disrupts our peace can dramatically affect our mental space.
Further, it is equally as essential to check in on the status of our physical health! This can include anything from our nutrition, physical activity levels, time spent indoors or outdoors, and more! We must reflect on how we spend our time and where we are spending our energy. How we fuel our bodies can also have huge repercussions on our overall well being.
Many studies have been conducted supporting suggestions of a food-mood connection. Try finding whole foods in season and incorporating them into your meals for an added brain boost! Also, consider challenging yourself by developing more of a routine: skincare, workout, morning, self-care, whatever you can dream up! Habits can offer us opportunities to welcome change as they are not as rigid as schedules. They provide structure without the strict nature of hour-by-hour planning. Further, just taking a little time to get outdoors or getting up and moving can significantly improve our mood!
Well, what the heck is a soul? According to Google, a Soul is “the spiritual or immaterial part of a human being or animal, regarded as immortal.” Extending far beyond color, creed, race, or religion, we as humans can ask ourselves if we are living
authentically and honestly according to our unique belief systems. Ultimately, this can be used to reevaluate your priorities, create space for things you need more of, and dust off your old ways of thinking and approaching life. There is no “right” time to do all of these things, but there is no time like the present to start!
Do you want to jumpstart your spring cleaning and give it extra meaning this season? One of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide individual, couples, family counseling, and other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, Counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Janelle Schlueter, MS, LPC, NCC, CCTP Having a chronic disease severely impacts the quality of life. People with chronic illness struggle with daily shame. Do you or someone you know to struggle with a chronic illness? Do you struggle with shame around that illness? What is shame in regards to chronic illness? Shame is […]
Having a chronic disease severely impacts the quality of life. People with chronic illness struggle with daily shame. Do you or someone you know to struggle with a chronic illness? Do you struggle with shame around 
that illness?
Shame is self-judging or feeling embarrassed based on a negative view of yourself. The amount of or extremity of self-judging depends on who you are, often compared to others. With chronic illness, shame occurs from labeling your whole self and identity as defective, broken, or less than others. Shame outside of a chronic condition happen when we do something big, which clashes with our integrity, like lying or cheating.
Someone with chronic illness is often unable to do activities like other people. Not participating in everyday activities often repeatedly turns down invitations to activities. If you can go to activities, you may need to ask for ‘special treatment’ due to limitations. In both of those instances, both parties acknowledge that you are ‘different.’ You often interpret these ‘differences’ as ‘less than others’ or ‘a bother’ due to your illness. Primarily when other people’s judgment can oftentimes fuel the shame of chronic illness. Some people may question the validity of a chronic illness unless they can visually see it. Doctors may second guess your symptoms. Co-workers may not understand the ‘special accommodations you require. Friends or family saying comments such as “is it that bad?” It is natural to feel defeated and judged when you are being questioned repeatedly like this. Others’ questions and second-guessing is likely from ignorance and a lack of understanding 
rather than judgment. With that said, still, remember to advocate for yourself!
Chronic illness is a part of your daily life, but it is not the whole picture. Battling this internal hurt starts by acknowledging that it is not a character description or a label like ‘loving, compassionate or funny’ while you have a chronic illness. Challenge yourself to redefine the chronic illness from a larger whole and reduce it to a smaller part. Rather than saying “I am broken and ashamed’ try saying, “I have a chronic illness, but that is just a part of who I am.” There is so much more to you than the illness. As you learn to accept that your illness does not define the WHOLE you, the shame will decrease.
If you are ready to heal from shame related to chronic illness, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling for women, men, teens, and children. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Other Therapy Services We Offer
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages including eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, treatment for anxiety, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, family therapy, trauma counseling, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Jessica Johns-Green, LPC Eating disorders are on the rise, with binge eating disorders leading the way as the standard form of an eating disorder. Post-pandemic life finds many of us living in sweatpants and leggings while working from home. Social isolation gives rise to habits and emotions that are difficult to manage. Food, especially […]
Eating disorders are on the rise, with binge eating disorders leading the way as the standard form of an eating disorder. Post-pandemic life finds many of us living in sweatpants and leggings while working from home. Social isolation gives rise to habits and emotions that are difficult to
manage. Food, especially ‘binge-friendly’ foods high in fat, sugar, or carbohydrate, provides comforting feelings that counteract or numb more distressing emotions. Now that door-dash is a way of life, binge eating has become more difficult than ever to manage.
A binge is eating to excess. For some, this may be simply eating beyond a feeling of fulness or continuing to eat when not hungry. For others, a binge may be eating beyond physical discomfort and even until becoming physically sick with a sore stomach or vomiting.
The emotional experience is often one of shame and confusion. “Why did I do that?” or even “Did I do that?” Typically, binges result in a period of cutting back on calories, dieting, or exercising to make up for it. The unintended consequences of binges are low mood, anxiety, poor body image, and guilt or shame. Binge eating behavior often harms our relationships and ability to socialize with others.
A key aspect of binge eating is the cycle of binging and restricting. After binging, the felt need to make up for it makes us likelier to repeat the process with another binge. Binges followed by loading for ourselves or our bodies are another cycle aspect.
Breaking this cycle requires attention and effort after a binge to care for ourselves.
Watch your internal dialogue. Is it kind? Would you say it to someone else who had just binged? If not, check it. You don’t need to stop forcefully self-critical thinking but notice and not accept it as fact – it’s just a thought. Binging is a problem, but it doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s a way of dealing with overwhelming things, but it’s not a character trait or a sign of weakness. Being too critical of yourself will only make it easier to feel shame and binge in the future.
Many binges happen later in the day or at night. It feels easy to skip breakfast the following day, but this will only make you more hungry later and more likely to binge. Even though it may feel like you can make up for overeating by eating less, the reality is that our bodies need a steady and predictable food intake throughout the day. Binging causes are multifaceted, but not enough calories are usually a primary risk factor throughout the day.
The answers may not always be clear, but it’s important to start asking – ‘What was happening for me?’ and ‘How have I been feeling?’ Adopting an attitude of curiosity rather than a judgment about binging helps to start asking what a binge helps us manage in life. Discovering this will allow for problem-solving on different ways to manage difficulties without binging.
Take a look at your day or week leading up to the binge. Were you eating enough? Or, were you restricting calories, cutting out certain foods, or labeling them evil? Are you getting enough sleep? All of these things play into a binge. Inadequate sleep creates more significant cravings for high-calorie foods. Insufficient calories will backfire fire, making it difficult not to overeat when there is an opportunity—cutting out foods that we can label as ‘bad’ fuels cravings. When willpower breaks due to insufficient calories or a tough, stressful day, we will reach for the ‘bad’ foods and over-consume them.
Partly this is because we feel that we will not get another opportunity. Instead, make sure the calorie intake is enough and steer clear of diets that label food groups or types as “bad.” Create a bedtime routine and include a little of what you enjoy with a lot of what is good for you.
Mayo clinic calorie calculator https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/weight-loss/in-depth/calorie-calculator/itt-20402304
Struggling with your relationship with food and ready to find a way forward? Ready to heal and gain power over these kinds of issues? We provide couple’s counseling, as well as, other mental health services. To begin couples counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Ally Hoffman, MA, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Would you say you know how to support your loved ones? As a therapist, I have so many clients who face hardships in learning to interact with loved ones. These individuals struggle with mental wellness, physical illness, family troubles, and more. Many times, […]
Would you say you know how to support your loved ones? As a therapist, I have so many clients who face hardships in learning to interact with loved ones. These individuals struggle with mental wellness, physical illness, family troubles, and more. Many times, we hear what those who are struggling can do to help themselves. However, it is not so often that we consider how those within the support system can help their loved ones.
We must practice humility by thinking to ourselves: “Hey, communication involves two people. What can I do to help improve my relationship and communication with this person?”
It is important to know that it is not the responsibility of our loved ones to manage others’ mental health. However, there’s absolutely no reason we can’t operate from an informed perspective to improve our relationships.
An informed perspective could be as simple as someone asking a question. Such as, “Hey, I’m having a hard time understanding what you are trying to communicate right now. I am more than happy to listen and try my best to understand a bit better. Would it be okay if I asked a few questions while you explain?” Allow the person to answer and offer insight. Furthermore, it is also important to remind ourselves that we are there for support, not to solve all of our loved one’s problems.
Described best by Prentis Hemphill, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously,” and I encourage us all to consider the capacity at which we are willing to show up for our loved ones (Goodreads. (n.d.).
Read more about setting healthy boundaries here!
You are not alone! With all different types of personalities and different walks of life, it can be challenging to understand how to interact with such an array of individuals. For example, individuals with mood disorders may have a more challenging time regulating their emotions throughout conversations. Learning how to identify triggers and work with individuals can help facilitate better dialogue and help them feel understood. This can benefit all parties involved. Whatever the case may be, there is hope for happier and healthier relationships with these loved ones!
To learn more about support systems, check out this YouTube video!
Do you want to learn how to develop better relationships with your loved ones? One of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide individual and family counseling and other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, Counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Do you feel as though you have difficulty with your emotions? Here at the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we can help teach you ways you can regulate your emotions and improve your relationships. Become Aware of Your Emotions. The first step to […]
Do you feel as though you have difficulty with your emotions? Here at the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we can help teach you ways you can regulate your emotions and improve your relationships.
The first step to regulating our emotional state is to become aware of what we are feeling. Become aware of your emotions by labeling them. If you have a hard time identifying what you are feeling at the moment, try using a feeling wheel, you can use the one here: https://feelingswheel.com/
When you label what you are experiencing, you will gain more clarity and control over your emotions. Labeling emotions also lowers cortisol, the stress hormone in the body. If you have a hard time identifying your feelings- start with the body. What sensations are coming up for you? Tightness in the chest? Feeling hot, trembling hands, a sad sinking feeling? Jot down these sensations. You can use the “Thought Diary” app to help you keep track of your emotional state.
Resist the urge to react to your triggers. Mindfulness is the most powerful step. The moment we are aware of our emotional state, we are not yet ready to decide the next move because our bodies are activated. If you notice a trigger, do not react right away. A trigger is something that happened just before you had an intense emotional reaction. For example, this could be an email, text,or something someone says to you. A pause could mean taking an hour to identify what you are feeling and why, or it could take several hours or even a day to feel calm before you determine your next move. Remember, strong emotions and impulses are just feelings that will pass and do not need to be acted upon immediately.
Try not to rely on your partner or others for this step. Practice regulating your own emotions through:
When we react to our triggers, it feels automatic and unplanned. When we react, we operate based on our sensations, thoughts, or feelings that we may not have acknowledged. Responding, however, requires careful thought, reflection, and choice.
Ask yourself:
For example, let’s say your significant other cancels your date last minute. An automatic reaction may be, “I can’t believe you would do this, I cleared out my plans, and you’re just canceling last minute?! We are done!” Another more passive automatic reaction could be, “No worries, it’s ok, let me know when you will be free!” Both reactions do not consider your needs or the other person’s needs and may end a relationship. A more thoughtful response could be: “things happen, I understand, I feel disappointed, I wanted to see you. I would appreciate a little more heads-up in the future to schedule something else if need be. Let me know when you are free next so we can reschedule.”
We provide couples counseling, as well as other mental health services. To begin couples counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Would you like to know how to be more assertive? Do you struggle to say what you mean to others? Do you struggle to make decisions and find yourself saying “yes” when you want to say “no?” Maybe you find yourself putting your […]
Would you like to know how to be more assertive? Do you struggle to say what you mean to others? Do you struggle to make decisions and find yourself saying “yes” when you want to say “no?” Maybe you find yourself putting your needs and wants last to
avoid conflict, but later find yourself overwhelmed, resentful, and stressed. If you identify with any of these
examples, you may have a passive communication style that is not serving you in getting your needs met. This blog will look at five ways to increase your assertive communication skills and meet your needs!
An assertive communication style means that you are direct and respectful when you communicate with others. Your tone of voice is firm but not aggressive. You speak your needs clearly and maintain eye contact. You take the needs of yourself and others when speaking and expressing your needs.
For example, let’s say that your co-worker expects you to do her part of a team project at work. You find yourself saying yes to avoid conflict but end up missing time with your family and your spouse due to
picking up her slack after work. Later, you find yourself burned out, exhausted, missing your family, and feeling restful towards your co-worker.
Here you state your needs clearly and offer a team to help if your friend needs it. If you were to practice assertive communication, you could say, “unfortunately, I cannot take any more time on helping you with your part of the project. If you have any questions or need any help, we could set up a team meeting to discuss it together.”
When you have a specific request from others, break down what you want to say first. You can brainstorm your needs and then state your needs or desires out loud. You can role-play with your therapist or friend and ask for feedback.
This style of communication will help you sound less accusatory and more respectful. For example, you can say, “I would like your help with this project,” instead of “you need to do this.”
If you find yourself saying yes to requests and then blaming yourself or canceling plans after agreeing when you did not want to, you may need to practice saying no. Some ways to say no can be “no, I cannot do that right now,” or “no, I have another commitment.” No need to apologize or give a detailed explanation.
Keep it brief and to the point. Remember why you are declining in the first place. If you are at capacity
with engagements, you are doing yourself a service to not take any more things on. Or, if you want to be polite, you can offer a different activity or different time. If you do not want to spend time with this person or people, reconsider your relationship.
Assertive communication is not only about how you communicate with others, but it is also about how you receive the messages that are communicated to you. Active listening is listening without interruption, listening for the meaning behind another person’s message. After you hear the news, summarize and paraphrase the message back to ensure a clear understanding.
Practice your assertive skills in situations that require you to take small risks first—maybe letting a barista know if your order was wrong or ask your friend not to call you after 9 PM. Later, once you start to build your confidence, you can challenge yourself to speak up more at work or ask your boss for a raise.
Remember that learning assertive communication takes time. Just as with any social skill, the more you practice, the better and more natural you will become.
If you would like to talk more about improving your communication skills, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help!
We provide couple’s counseling, as well as other mental health services. To begin
couples counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!