Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch
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Tara Kong, MS, LPC-Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S How can positive thinking impact your life? I once heard the phrase, “Change your thinking, change your life.” But is it that simple? Many people don’t realize the power of their thoughts. These thoughts can shape our lives by influencing our behavior in how we […]
Tara Kong, MS, LPC-AssociateHow can positive thinking impact your life? I once heard the phrase, “Change your thinking, change your life.” But is it that simple? Many people don’t realize the power of their thoughts. These thoughts can shape our lives by influencing our behavior in how we think. Positive thinking does not mean ignoring or avoiding difficult areas in life. Instead, it focuses on the positive, making the best of a challenging situation, and seeing others and yourself in a good light.
Why should we care about practicing positivity in our thought life? Will it make a difference in my life? Positive thinking has many benefits. These include better management of stress in one’s life, better coping skills in stressful situations, enhanced psychological health, better immunity to illness, better physical health, longer life, lower feelings of depression, and better cardiovascular health.
It can be difficult at first to change your thoughts. Start aware of the ideas that run through your head each day. Do you think things such as I can do complex things? I may have made a mistake, but I tried my best and learned for next time. I am good enough. Or do you find your thoughts lean more towards beliefs like, I can’t believe I did that? I am so stupid. Why can’t I do anything right? If you have negative thoughts, stop your negative thought pattern and change those thoughts to more positive ones.
Try writing in a gratitude journal. It is easier to stay positive by being aware of the positives in your life. I encourage people to try and think of three things each day that they are thankful for. Experiencing grateful thoughts helps people feel more positively.
Practice positive thoughts in the way you talk to yourself. Positive self-talk impacts how we view ourselves and allows us to handle stress better. Think of it as if you are talking to a good friend. Would you ever tell a friend they are so stupid? No! So don’t speak that way to yourself.
It is essential to balance positive thinking with realistic expectations. For example, someone may have dreams of being a famous YouTube star as they begin to post videos. If that person expects instant and high success, they will likely be very disappointed. Few people can make a living by posting videos; it takes time and effort. In some cases, people have taken positive thinking too far by refusing to change their mindset no matter how dire or upsetting the situation is. This kind of mindset leads to one not being able to be and experience authentic feelings and emotions. It also can put a lot of pressure on a person always to be happy, and they can experience shame or guilt if they are not always able to maintain a positive outlook. Bottom line: practice positive thinking with realistic expectations so you can be successful.
If you are ready to take control of your thought patterns, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling and mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S What are boundaries, and why do we need them? Boundaries are expectation or rules that we set for ourselves that tells the other person our limit of space or activity. Boundaries show others who you are, your needs, and what you will and […]
What are boundaries, and why do we need them? Boundaries are expectation or rules that we set for ourselves that tells
the other person our limit of space or activity. Boundaries show others who you are, your needs, and what you will and will not accept from others. Sometimes if we do not have personal boundaries, we find it hard to respect boundaries that others set. It can be a challenge to appreciate something we do not honor ourselves, so identifying your boundaries is the first step. Boundaries are healthy for relationships because they establish clear expectations, allow each partner to meet their needs, and create open communication.
Evaluate how you feel within your relationship. Do you need more time to yourself? Are you feeling a lack of social connection with your friends and need some time with them? Do you need more respect from your partner? Do you crave more understanding or more intimacy from your partner?
Write down a list of your needs and expectation and where you want to set a limit. If you are giving too much of your time to your partner, how can you create more balance?
Look at your emotional, mental, and physical health trajectory if your needs go unmet. Not setting boundaries and neglecting your needs will ultimately lead to relationship burnout and can fuel negative cycles of interaction with your partner.
Communicate your boundaries in a non-threatening way. For example, if your need is that you want your partner to be more present and you notice your partner is on the phone when you try to have a conversation, you can say:
“I feel heard and valued when you listen to me without any distractions” or “I feel respected when I can finish my point without interruption” instead of “s
top picking up your phone when I’m talking, or I’ll stop talking to you.”
Remember that sometimes when you start to state your needs, wants, or limits to others, especially if you have difficulty doing so or rarely set boundaries, it may trigger deep-seated feelings of guilt, shame, or selfishness. It is essential to consider the origin of these negative core beliefs. Keep in mind that feeling this way does not mean that you should not set boundaries with others. You can process these feelings by placing limitations on your partner. Being vulnerable and sharing these feelings can help your partner understand you and enrich the bond you have together.
If you have not had boundaries with your partner before, it may be a challenge for them initially to accept your limits. They may want more than you are comfortable giving, overstep, challenge why you have a specific boundary, judge or criticize them, or question if they are realistic. When this happens, consider your values around your limits. Ask your partner about any fears about this change and reassure and soothe these fears together. Communicate to your partner using the “gentle startup” (I feel…about what…I need…) of how you feel when your boundaries are not respected. Share with your partner that identifying, honoring, and expressing your needs can help you from disconnection.
Need Help Setting Boundaries? Don’t Know Where to start? If you are ready to improve your relationship, one of the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide couples counseling as well as other services. To begin couples counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Margie Frisco MA, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton MA, LPC-S Is it hard to motivate your kid(s)? Sometimes, it can be hard to get your child to do what you ask them to do. For example, how often do we have to say pick up your stuff or do your homework? It […]
Is it hard to motivate your kid(s)? Sometimes, it can be hard to
get your child to do what you ask them to do. For example, how often do we have to say pick up your stuff or do your homework? It can even feel like a tug of war! It can even be done without yelling, arguing, or feeling like something failed. What if I told you some new ways you can try to motivate your kids? Below are some helpful tips.
Knowing how to motivate your child can be easy and hard for others. Maybe the child doesn’t know what they want. Or it can feel like anything you do as a parent does not make it any easier.
Creating a space where the child can explore what they like can be helpful. Creating such a space can help spark curiosity and play. Many child therapists would agree that freedom can be therapeutic for kids. This type of expression lets them feel free.
What motivates some kids might be harder to find when your child knows why they might participate more easily. The “why” is the result you are looking for. Children are more willing to join if they get a say in it, depending on their age.
For example, if you have a picky eater, have them help pack the lunch. I realize that if we allow children to pack their lunch, it could be filled with candy and junk food. What I mean by help is to put the sandwich together or have them draw a fun drawing on the bag of carrots.
Keep in mind that we want to limit this. As we learn and grow, we find out not everything has a reward. Limiting rewards helps children understand this concept.
Keep in mind that different ages are capable of other tasks. Please make sure the reward and what we are motivating are age-appropriate.
You can ensure the reward is appropriate by allowing the child to choose their prize themselves. Openly ask your child: “What do you want to work towards?” This sentence will enable your child to work towards making them happy versus avoiding punishment.
They can work towards the goal or reward by doing what you want them to do. A chore chart or a goal tracker can help you organize and follow their progress.
Many times as parents, we have high expectations for our children. We want them to do better or have better than what we had. Completely understandable. But we want to keep in mind what is realistic for their age.
For instance, kids between the ages of 3 to 6 tend to want to do adult things. These children might want to wear mom or dad’s
shoes or go to work. They are learning how to become more independent while making you happy.
Whereas children who are 6 to 12 are trying to understand the concepts of others. Specifically, they are beginning to understand how their actions can impact others. For example, elementary school-age children are at the age where they are trying to understand how they hurt a friend’s feelings.
If you would like more help with parenting strategies or building your relationship with your kid(s), one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, Texas, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!