Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch
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By: Margie Frisco, MA, LPC-Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton MA, LPC-S Having self-confidence as a kid can be tricky! Remember back when you were a kid. Did you experience a situation where another classmate was mean to you? Or remember the old saying of sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never […]
Having self-confidence as a kid can be tricky! Remember back when you were a kid. Did you experience a situation where another classmate was mean to you? Or remember the old saying of sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me…..really? Words can hurt significantly if a child listens to the mean comments and starts to believe them. This blog will go over how you, as a parent, can help your child build confidence.
Daily affirmations have become more popular over the years. But, let us start with defining what a daily affirmation is. It is a statement that someone can say to themselves. It can be helpful for a person to feel better about themselves. Additionally, it can help that person learn how to use positive self-talk. Think of positive self-talk and daily affirmations as a hopeful and “good” expression about yourself TO yourself. See an example below:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJs7_rrPaEI
Teaching your children to say nice things to themselves early will help grow that confidence. They learn how to make eye contact, explore their facial expressions, get experience with direct conversations, and most importantly, how to say nice things to themselves. I know it can seem silly, but telling the affirmations in the mirror is helpful. Depending on their age, you can create these affirmations, work together to make them, or check the link below to see some printable cards for your kids.
As parents, we have one of the biggest influences on our child’s life. We can demonstrate or model a specific behavior. Many child therapists agree that children learn by seeing. To help your child grow their confidence, you can show them how. You can model behavior by celebrating a victory in front of them. For example, if you got the promotion you have been working hard to get, do a happy dance and have them join in. Furthermore, if your child has been struggling with school and does well, have them choose (within reason) how to celebrate.
Another way you can model having healthy confidence is using a positive affirmation when you are not feeling your best. For instance, if
someone says something mean about how you look or act, say, “that is ok. I know I am worthy of love.” Or if someone blames you for something you had no control over, say, “I tried my best.” Showing your child how to react when others are not nice can show them how to respond if they experience the same thing.
Now, I know it is easy for me to sit here and say, “oh, just say or do this.” I realize that it can be hard not to react. I completely get it. Emotions, right!?! Even if you respond in a not-so-great way, it is ok. You have the opportunity to have another conversation with your child when you are calm. And then you can both practice what could be a better response. This will help your child learn how to reflect on their behaviors and actions to find ways to improve.
Reflecting on the action shows your child that they can make mistakes. Also, it allows your child to see what actions they can take. And you are there to help them critically think. Most kids under twelve do not have analytical thinking completely working. You can step in, help them think through the options, and find which action is best for them.
I understand that sometimes the best option might be something new. As the parent, you can feed their confidence by saying they can do it. Moreover, you can practice or try new things with them.
For instance, if you reflect and the new action is talking to someone new. You can set up their stuffed toy animals and practice how to introduce themselves. This might feel silly, but it can be a helpful teaching aid with your children, create a fun memory, and teach them to come to you with difficult situations.
If you are ready to help build confidence in your child or children, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling and mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Have you heard of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for treating Anxiety? Have you tried just about anything to help you stop the anxious thoughts? Does challenging your anxious thoughts to seem like an uphill battle? Sometimes clients say that even though they […]
By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC AssociateHave you heard of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for treating Anxiety? Have you tried just about anything to help you stop the anxious thoughts? Does challenging your anxious thoughts to seem like an uphill battle? Sometimes clients say that even though they know that there is almost zero chance that the things they worry about will come true, it is not enough to stop them from worrying. Anxiety is often irrational, and ACT can be a radically different way to stop the overwhelm.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) was created by Dr. Steven C. Hayes (learn more about ACT here.)
It is a form of therapy that emphasizes being open to the experience (i.e., depression, anxiety, worry, fear, etc.) without pushing it away. Instead of arguing with our thoughts, we learn to develop a different relationship with them, one based on acceptance. So rather than the traditional methods you may have tried before, such as rationalizing your thoughts or changing them, we work on allowing them to be there while focusing our energy on things we can control.
With ACT, we “actively and willingly receive our thoughts, emotions, and histories” instead of pushing back on thoughts, which sometimes can strengthen their power over us.
Imagine that you have a stressful upcoming event, such as planning a party. What might an ACT-based approach look like?
Practice the art of diffusion. Diffusion is thinking of thoughts and feelings outside ourselves, like passing sensations or irrational messages outside us. We may notice our negative thoughts saying, “The party will be a total failure.” Such a negative thought is about how things could go or what may or may not happen. This awareness changes our relationship to the ideas we have. It could also help to write your thoughts down. When you write things down, it gives you a physical distance from your thoughts. The goal of distancing or diffusion is to realize that you are not your thoughts. Your mind, or “the thought machine,” creates many different positive and negative thoughts daily.
Accepting a particular situation, a personality trait, an overwhelming emotion, or an uncomfortable sensation within ourselves allows us to move passed obsessing, worrying, and ruminating. Usually, we get stuck if we try to stop thoughts from occurring, minimize them, block them out, or ask why certain events, feelings, or situations keep arising.
Instead, allow your thinking to be flexible. Notice any thoughts that you have that appear to be helpful. Maybe you can think, “my party doesn’t have to be perfect,” or “I have hosted some great parties before.” Instead of policing our anxious thoughts, we can allow them to take some space in our minds but focus our attention on what is most important.
Think of a car analogy. When you try to rationalize or eliminate your thoughts, you kick them out of the metaphorical car. With ACT, however, you are taking control of the wheel. The anxious thoughts may arise, but they are not our focus. They are simply there in the back seat and can stay there, but we can choose if we decide to focus on them or enjoy the ride.
If you would like more information on ACT, click here for the book Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life by Steven Hayes.
If you are ready to find out how to tame anxious thoughts, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide therapy to people of all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Jessica Johns-Green, LPC Do you struggle with depression and self-care? Depression affects millions of people. If you are struggling with depression, you are not alone. It is estimated that over 17 million people in the US have had at least one major depressive episode. Depression is treatable with self-care, medication, counseling, or a combination […]
Do you struggle with depression and self-care? Depression affects millions of people. If you are struggling with depression, you are not alone. It is estimated that over 17 million people in the US have had at least one major depressive episode. Depression is treatable with self-care, medication, counseling, or a combination of these. Here’s a look at what depression is and two things to start doing that can help your healing.
Depression, also called major depressive disorder, is characterized by sadness, low mood, and a lack of interest in things. But depression is not just being sad. Depression is longer lasting and has a more profound effect on daily life. Commonly, people struggling with depression express feelings of hopelessness. Depression can affect your ability to work, maintain relationships and engage in self-care.
Some Common Characteristics of Depression Include:
Depression is thought to be caused by a combination of things. There may be biological factors – how systems in the physical bodywork – that make someone more prone to depression. Social factors – our relationships, our family backgrounds, and our place in the world around us – can trigger depression or make recovery from depression more difficult. Our unique personalities – the psychological strengths and challenges we bring, such as how we typically think and how we respond to situations and challenges. Read more about depression, symptoms, and treatment here.
Depression can make you feel like it’s impossible to feel better. It can make you feel like you are powerless to ever be any different than you feel now. Depression treatment can include medication, therapy, and self-care. The American Psychiatric Association estimates that 80% of people who seek treatment eventually feel better. Although the recovery process may take months, it is worth it.
Counseling for depression will often begin with an inventory of your symptoms and a history of your experience with depression. Although every person is different, depression therapy will usually highlight ways of thinking, general attitudes, or even deep-rooted beliefs that are widespread and common among depressed people.
Depression seems to force us to think of things in an all-or-nothing way. We can see no hope or good in things that once made us feel happy. We see ourselves as worthless, useless, and powerless. While depressive thinking isn’t our ‘fault’, and you are not to blame if you notice your mind going in that direction, there is often great benefit in challenging depressive thinking.
When depression grabs hold it can be difficult to see things in the way we do when we’re not depressed. You can start working towards a better mood now by doing this simple task.
To be most effective with this exercise, write down one achievement and something you feel grateful for. On a scale of 1-10 (with 1 being low) rate each one. Rating it on a scale allows us to practice being less ‘all-or-nothing’ in our thinking. Instead of thinking, ‘I didn’t do enough, it doesn’t count,’ the rating system allows us to appreciate that some things deserve credit, even if they aren’t up to the same standard as when we are feeling well.
Challenging yourself to find an achievement provides a basis to question the feelings of worthlessness and uselessness that fuel depression. Looking for something to be grateful for doesn’t mean that we are ungrateful when suffering from depression. But it does provide a tool to practice healthier styles of thinking by actively looking for something we possibly didn’t notice when depression is narrowing our attention.
It’s a small task, it’s simple, but internally it’s almost like you are asking yourself to step outside of depression for a moment. And that can be so tough. Be ok with not doing it well. Don’t punish yourself for not doing it every day. it might feel like you don’t push yourself enough, and that if you were better you wouldn’t be having this problem. But the truth is, criticizing yourself won’t help.
What is your definition of achievement? On some days, depression means that just getting up to brush your teeth can be a big achievement. On other days, you might do a lot, but not feel achieved. Are there other things you’ve not noticed before? Use the activity as a tool to break the cycle of depressive thinking.
When possible, add in activities, and plans that could help encourage feelings of gratitude or achievement. They don’t have to be big. Take time for yourself in some way. A moment to appreciate something in the world, even if it’s not perfect.
Depression is difficult, and even if this exercise isn’t for you, help is available. Our skilled therapists will work with you to develop a treatment plan specifically for your needs. If you think you have depression, seek help. If you or someone you know is at risk of harming themselves or others, phone 911 immediately. Here at the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, our therapists are ready to help. Contact us to arrange a session with a licensed counselor or supervised intern.
If you would like more information regarding depression, the therapists at the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling and mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Teen years can be challenging. It is normal for a teen to feel sad and irritable at times. However, if the feelings become overwhelming and your teen feels hopeless or helpless, it could be clinical depression. Is it a Phase? Teen depression is […]
By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC AssociateTeen years can be challenging. It is normal for a teen to feel sad and irritable at times. However, if the feelings become overwhelming and your teen feels hopeless or helpless, it could be clinical depression.
Teen depression is different than temporarily feeling sad. It is a severe and debilitating mood disorder. Depression can affect how you feel, think, and concentrate. Furthermore, it can make everyday functioning more difficult. Teen years can be challenging, but clinical depression goes far beyond moodiness. Many unhealthy and rebellious behaviors in teenagers can indicate depression. It is important to note that depression may not appear as a sad mood for teens. It can also show up as anger or irritability.
Firstly, if you are worried that your teen may be depressed, have an open dialogue about your concerns. Try to come from a place of acceptance and understanding. Let your teen know you have noticed specific depression symptoms, and ask to share what they are going through. Similarly, try to focus on listening, and resist the urge to judge, criticize or try to talk your teen out of depression. Even if their feelings seem irrational to you. Acknowledging the pain and sadness can help your teen feel heard, supported, and open up to you more.
For instance, isolation is a common symptom of depression but can worsen things. Encourage your teen to stay connected by making face-to-face contact a priority. Participate in activities that involve other families. This will allow your teen an opportunity to communicate with others. You can volunteer together, spend time with friends at home, or encourage a favorite social activity of their choosing. The important thing is an opportunity to connect with others, which can act as a natural antidepressant.
Exercise can increase endorphins, which are natural mood-boosting chemicals in the brain. Exercise doesn’t have to be dull. You can get creative by signing your teen up for kickboxing, roller skating, swimming, bike riding, or skateboarding. Furthermore, as long as your teen is moving, it’s beneficial.
Sometimes, teens may go online to escape. But, increased screen time can lead to social isolation and worsen symptoms. Talk to your teen about expectations and set limits.
Lastly, if you notice significant changes in mood, signs of depression, suicidal thoughts, or evidence of self-harm, don’t hesitate to contact professionals. Listen to their input on choosing an individual therapist, group therapy, or both. When selecting a specialist, it is important to involve your teen in the process. The relationship your teen forms with their therapist is crucial for effective treatment. It should be noted, that, as a parent, you take care of yourself. Consider individual or family therapy and take some time for self-care.
If you are ready to receive help for your depression, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide a range of counseling services to individuals, couples, and families. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Carey Robey, MS, LPC, NCC Would you like to know how to challenge and change your negative thinking patterns? Learning how to challenge your negative thoughts is a skill that can help you decrease anxiety and have lasting effects on your overall mental health. How you can change negative thinking patterns: Changing negative thinking […]
By: Carey Robey, MS, LPC, NCCWould you like to know how to challenge and change your negative thinking patterns? Learning how to challenge your negative thoughts is a skill that can help you decrease anxiety and have lasting effects on your overall mental health.
Changing negative thinking patterns can be done by using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Many of my clients know of CBT but are new to the idea of cognitive distortions. Cognitive distortions are exaggerated ways of thinking that are not based on fact, leading us to have a much more negative perception of things than what is reality. Cognitive distortions tend to be worse when feeling down, stressed, or already struggling with depression or anxiety. In therapy, we work on identifying these negative or intrusive thoughts and learn how to counter and change them.
Because our thoughts dictate our mood and our actions, it is essential that we do not stay in a place where ideas are irrationally negative or not consistent with reality. Working on reversing cognitive distortions is a vast part of CBT. One can learn to master the skills of challenging thoughts so much so that eventually, it becomes like second nature. Though everyone engages in distorted thinking habits, individuals might have developed more particular patterns that they engage in often. Some common distortions are jumping to conclusions, mind reading, catastrophizing, and filtering. Once you can identify such negative thinking patterns, the easier it will be to work on engaging in more constructive thinking habits.
Using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, you will learn to recognize and identify thoughts so you may begin engaging in questioning them. Questioning can be helpful in several ways depending on your thinking habits; you will learn how to look for evidence for and against your thought, consider different perspectives, and analyze how you came to the assumption, to begin with.
This is a tool a therapist can help you develop, so you may use this as a coping skill on your own in the hopes of one day changing those distorted patterns into healthier ones. If you are seeking help in turning around negative thinking, consider therapy to learn skills on challenging thoughts so you may have long-term benefits on your mental well-being.
If you are ready to find out more information regarding changing your negative thinking patterns, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy Texas, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Janelle Schlueter, MS, LPC, NCC, CCTP Having a chronic disease severely impacts the quality of life. People with chronic illness struggle with daily shame. Do you or someone you know to struggle with a chronic illness? Do you struggle with shame around that illness? What is shame in regards to chronic illness? Shame is […]
Having a chronic disease severely impacts the quality of life. People with chronic illness struggle with daily shame. Do you or someone you know to struggle with a chronic illness? Do you struggle with shame around 
that illness?
Shame is self-judging or feeling embarrassed based on a negative view of yourself. The amount of or extremity of self-judging depends on who you are, often compared to others. With chronic illness, shame occurs from labeling your whole self and identity as defective, broken, or less than others. Shame outside of a chronic condition happen when we do something big, which clashes with our integrity, like lying or cheating.
Someone with chronic illness is often unable to do activities like other people. Not participating in everyday activities often repeatedly turns down invitations to activities. If you can go to activities, you may need to ask for ‘special treatment’ due to limitations. In both of those instances, both parties acknowledge that you are ‘different.’ You often interpret these ‘differences’ as ‘less than others’ or ‘a bother’ due to your illness. Primarily when other people’s judgment can oftentimes fuel the shame of chronic illness. Some people may question the validity of a chronic illness unless they can visually see it. Doctors may second guess your symptoms. Co-workers may not understand the ‘special accommodations you require. Friends or family saying comments such as “is it that bad?” It is natural to feel defeated and judged when you are being questioned repeatedly like this. Others’ questions and second-guessing is likely from ignorance and a lack of understanding 
rather than judgment. With that said, still, remember to advocate for yourself!
Chronic illness is a part of your daily life, but it is not the whole picture. Battling this internal hurt starts by acknowledging that it is not a character description or a label like ‘loving, compassionate or funny’ while you have a chronic illness. Challenge yourself to redefine the chronic illness from a larger whole and reduce it to a smaller part. Rather than saying “I am broken and ashamed’ try saying, “I have a chronic illness, but that is just a part of who I am.” There is so much more to you than the illness. As you learn to accept that your illness does not define the WHOLE you, the shame will decrease.
If you are ready to heal from shame related to chronic illness, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling for women, men, teens, and children. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Other Therapy Services We Offer
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages including eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, treatment for anxiety, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, family therapy, trauma counseling, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
How social media affects your mental health is a question we should all be asking ourselves. Checking my social media has become as important as checking my emails. It’s a daily thing, and it is useful. But is there a point where social media is unhelpful, or even harmful? Increasingly, research is saying that there […]
How social media affects your mental health is a question we should all be asking ourselves. Checking my social media has become as important as checking my emails. It’s a daily thing, and it is useful. But is there a point where social media is unhelpful, or even harmful? Increasingly, research is saying that there is a destructive side to social media use that can impact our mental health.
Our mood and style of thinking work together. Sometimes for our benefit, and sometimes against us. One key hallmark of depression is hopelessness. There is no point, even to things that once made us happy. This style of thinking is thought to be influenced by neurobiological states that are commonly observed in depressed individuals. For instance, when thoughts are heavily biased towards negative, hopeless themes, people report feeling less able to work, engage in healthy relationships and take care of their physical needs.
Social media encourages comparison. However, not always healthy, realistic comparisons. All we see are people looking happy, doing great stuff or seeming very successful. It can feel like this is reality. That everyone is happy and finding success easily.
What we don’t see are the hidden truths. The photoshop edits, the failures, the crippling self doubt. But what if we did? People may experience less depressive symptoms and suicidal thoughts. A 2015 study found that 67% of young people questioned felt worse about their lives because of social media. Read more on the study here https://www.healio.com/news/psychiatry/20201005/social-media-use-may-play-important-role-in-youth-suicide-expert-says
In anxiety, the thought patterns activate the threat centers of our brain. This threat kicks off a chain reaction of physical and psychological events that we experience as anxiety or panic. Anxiety is often linked to the idea that something bad will happen. The feelings it creates in our bodies are the same kinds of feelings we would get if we were being chased by a tiger in the jungle. Only now there is no tiger. Instead, the threat is that we are not enough, we are not liked, we might fail, we might be rejected.
Moreover, social media provides a ready source for lots of things to worry about. As well as a trigger for the kinds of perfectionistic tendencies that regularly mess with our mental health. Read more about perfectionism here https://cincoranchcounseling.com/the-price-of-perfectionism-and-4-ways-to-set-yourself-free/ Social media is also a way to escape, avoid and numb feelings. Getting drawn into endless scrolling can be a way to temporarily calm the anxiety. Unfortunately, this escape strategy only makes the anxiety worse in the long run (see the last section of this blog for more on this topic).
Eating Disorders and Body ImageSocial media is a prime platform for diet culture to infiltrate your mind. From being sold quick fixes like diet teas, detox plans and supplements to workout routines from so-called professionals that promise the impossible. It is very challenging to remember while scrolling that much of what we see is contrived with lighting and angles, digital perfected, filtered or even flat-out fake. It’s no surprise that people struggling with an eating disorder are likely to be negatively affected by the information flowing to them through their feed. Read more on how social media influences eating disorders here https://clementineprograms.com/social-media-trigger-eating-disorder/
However, our friends with eating disorders are not the only ones suffering. A study by FHE Health found that 87% of women and 65% of men compare their bodies to the bodies they see on social media. And of those, 50% of women and 36% of men rated their bodies less favorably than the social media bodies. Read more on this study here https://fherehab.com/news/bodypositive/
All this comparison is unhealthy. It is unfair to what our bodies really are and how real bodies look. Many people are drawn into the diet culture and compare. The result? Often poor eating habits, mood problems, unhealthy relationships with food and weight gain.
Technology AddictionThe world can be a tough and confusing place. Our phones and social media provide an escape. When we feel anxious, our bodies will drive us to things that help numb, distract and escape. For example, some might escape through alcohol, food or shopping. Things that give a quick hit of nice feelings. We want to feel better, but without dealing with the anxiety itself, we become hooked on the quick hit of nice feelings.
Furthermore, social media, technology and smartphones can work in this same way. Rather than talk to others, be alone with our thoughts or deal with a difficult issue we’re facing we can scroll away, get drawn into the pictures, sounds and excitement of someone else, something else. In the long run, the quick hit of nice feelings becomes a problem in itself to overcome.
Is social media not the fun thing it use to be? Try these 3 approaches to rebalance your relationship with it:
Firstly, is seeing the stranger you follow with the impossibly thin waist and perfect round glutes making you feel better or worse? It’s not inspiration if it doesn’t leave you feeling hopeful, alive and worthy. Be brave enough to mute or unfollow. Good news is that not every page or influencer is about shaming and unrealistic standards. So, seek out the pages of people who are giving healthy messages. Not the quick fixes, body shame or starvation.
Secondly, take some time to be in the world, without a screen between you and everything. Leave the phone in your bag, pocket or even at home sometimes. It’s usually a healthy step to limit the amount of time spent on social media, particularly if your mood is struggling. Set yourself time limits. Use your phone’s timer to introduce balance.
Finally, ask yourself why! Understanding why you scroll is a valuable skill and a great step to a healthier relationship with social media. Are you bored? Procrastinating? Lonely? Is there something you’re looking for? Are you feeling relaxed or tense? Be more in tune with your motivations for scrolling. This will help you set new intentions leading to better mental health and wellness.
Are you ready to feel like your best self? The therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling for kids, adults, couples, and groups. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Janelle Schlueter, MS, LPC, NCC, CCTP It’s a word we hear all the time. From family, friends, strangers and even ourselves. “Should” is such a common word so why would I say it’s the new curse word? Some of the many things I am passionate about as a therapist are issues that impact our self-esteem. […]
It’s a word we hear all the time. From family, friends, strangers and even ourselves. “Should” is such a common word so why would I say it’s the new curse word? Some of the many things I am passionate about as a therapist are issues that impact our self-esteem. Read on to see why a word so simple can have such a negative impact on how you view yourself.
If someone says “you should read this book”, it sounds innocent enough, right? Actually, it’s pretty harmful. This person is assuming that they know you will like the book or benefit from it when they do not know for sure. They are assuming they have more insight into your life, schedule, wants, likes, and interests than you do. That’s crazy! Who knows what’s best for you more than you?!
If someone says “you should break up with your partner”, it may sound like they are being helpful in giving advice but, it’s not. The way people tend to interpret a comment like that is that not only does this person think they know what’s best for us more than we do for ourselves but it implies there is a clear right and clear wrong way to do things. Is it possible that this scenario is not black and white but actually has some grey area, too? Absolutely!
Judgement and criticismDo you like the idea of being judged and criticized for your decisions? I didn’t think so! When people judge and criticize, it often comes out in a “should” statement. I’m sure you’ve probably been told “you shouldn’t do that” or “you should have done this”. When you heard that, how did you feel about yourself? Not good, right? You likely felt guilty, ashamed or like you did something wrong. The question I ask my clients is: is there really a golden rule that you were not following or was it someone’s set of standards or rules unique to them? You will find there are few times where there is an understood right and wrong (think laws).
Lastly, but most importantly, be mindful of how often you say “should” to yourself. We are all guilty of judging and criticizing ourselves harder than others ever could. One of the dangers of negative self-talk is that we don’t say things aloud so we don’t always recognize that we are saying anything. “I should do this”, “I should not have done that”, “I should be this” are examples of self-talk that are based on judgment, criticism, and the assumption of a clear right and wrong. Is that helpful? No. Not at all.
We can try to rephrase things to eliminate judgment and the assumption of right and wrong. Rather than saying “you should read this book” try and say “you might enjoy this book”. Don’t those sound much nicer?!
To make sure you are communicating as healthy as possible to others as well as yourself, try viewing “should” as a buzzword. My clients are often hearing me make a small buzzer noise when they say “should”. It doesn’t take long before they stop using “should” and significantly reduce judgment, criticism and assumption from others as well as themselves!
Go To Counseling To Help With Self-Esteem!Counseling can help with many issues that you may find yourself struggling with, such as: anxiety, depression, lack of coping skills, communication issues, relationship struggles, history of trauma, obsessive compulsive disorder, sleep issues, addiction, and so much more. Seeing a counselor can help you identify areas that you would like to work on such as self-esteem talked about in this blog.
If you are ready to find help for your mental health struggles, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide therapy to people of all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Other Therapy Services We Offer
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
Authored by: Jason Drake, a Licensed Clinical Worker-Supervisor (LCSW-S). Group therapy is a powerful counseling approach for both adults and teens. We have found and studies support our findings that group therapy for teens can be more impactful for teens. When teens take part in group therapy, it tends to be fertile ground for growth […]
Group therapy is a powerful counseling approach for both adults and teens. We have found and studies support our findings that group therapy for teens can be more impactful for teens.
When teens take part in group therapy, it tends to be fertile ground for growth and development. A teen therapist who specializes in teen counseling facilitates the group. This teen therapist provides the rules and structure of the group to ensure emotional and physical safety.
Once the structure is understood, the teen therapist who specializes in teen counseling, facilitates conversation and exploration of issue that teens may not have otherwise addressed. Below are three reasons how group therapy for teens can help your teen.
Teen depression has increased 59% since 2007. A survey from the American Psychological Association found that teens today report stress levels as high as those that adults report. When school is in, teens report higher stress levels than adults report.
Group therapy allows teens to meet with other teens who experience similar life situations. Often, teens feel like they are all alone battling their internal struggles. It’s not that others in their lives aren’t trying to help, but they simply may not be able to understand. Unless you yourself have experienced the internal struggles that the teen experiences, it can be hard to relate.
With group therapy, a teen can find such relief talking with other teens who are experiencing the same internal struggles. It can normalize what the teen is struggling with once they know they are not alone.
When teens can see that they are not alone, it seems to lift a weight from their shoulders. It also opens them up to feedback from those teens who are or have experienced what they are going through.
As a parent, you can provide the most significant piece of wisdom to help your teen. If your teen could follow that piece of wisdom it would probably help. But, since it’s coming from their parent, it may not carry the weight needed to get through to the teen.
A teen in group therapy who is or has experienced similar things to your teen can provide the same piece of wisdom. Now this piece of wisdom is accepted as amazing by the teen and they may now internalize the feedback. That is the power of group therapy for teens!
The above hypothetical example is one experience in one moment in time for the teen in group therapy. Now, imagine the power of your teen attending weekly group therapy for teens over the course of weeks or months.
The Hope That Can be Instilled Seeing Other Teens SucceedTeens find relief and hope in talking with other teens who are experiencing the same internal battles. Whether it be teen depression, anxiety, ADHD/ADD, trauma, etc., knowing that they are not alone provides comfort.
In group therapy, teens also get to see other teens who have experienced what they are experiencing. Yet, the other teen has overcome the struggle.
When teens are able to see other teens, who they can relate to succeed and overcome their struggles, the hope and motivation in the teen skyrockets.
Individual teen therapy and family therapy can take on a whole new meaning as they take part in group therapy for teens. When they know that there is a way, a path forward, often they tend to work harder.
Teens know they have the support of their peers in group therapy. They know they also have a specialist to guide them in teen therapy. Oftentimes, they view family therapy in a new light. And it all started with your teen working with other teens in group therapy.
If your teen is struggling with teen depression, anxiety, ADHD/ADD, trauma, PTSD or any other internal battle, start the healing journey today. Group therapy can be that missing link that can help your teen make meaning out of their internal battle. There is hope and a pathway forward. If you are ready to let the healing begin, you can follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages including: eating disorder treatment, depression treatment, women’s issues, treatment for anxiety, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, family therapy, men’s issues, trauma counseling, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Denise Servin, M. Ed., LPC Associate Does your teen engage in self-harm? Teenagers are facing many difficult setbacks right now. Living though a pandemic has changed how they are educated. It has also affected the way they socialize. They do not get to see their friends as often as they are used to. Many […]
Does your teen engage in self-harm? Teenagers are facing many difficult setbacks right now. Living though a pandemic has changed how they are educated. It has also affected the way they socialize. They do not get to see their friends as often as they are used to. Many of them are dealing with loss. It may be the loss of a family member or friendship. There is also the loss of most chances to be social.
Depression can sometimes be a result of these experiences. Depression can lead to self-harm behaviors. But, what is self-harm? What does it look like? What are some of the warning signs you can look for? How do you give them support through it? It can be a very scary topic to deal with. It can also be uncomfortable to talk about.
What Is Self-Harm?Self-harm can be described as self-injury. Self-harm is the act of inflicting harm on oneself. But, the intention of self-harm is not to die. For example, you may see cutting, burning, hitting themselves, or even picking at the skin. Why do teens self-harm? The reasons can be different for everyone. But, the reasons and emotions behind self-harm are key to understanding the behavior. These core feelings must be addressed in order to help your teen heal. Healing is necessary to make these behaviors stop.
The reasons that teens engage in self-harm behaviors are not reasons that need to make sense to you. It is enough that they are real to your teen.
Communication is very important. Self-harm can be very scary to talk about. But, opening that door is one of the most supportive things you can do. When you ask you are showing that you care. Talking about it gives them the space to talk about their feelings. Also, it shows that you are not afraid to hear what they have to say. In some cases, teens fear opening up. They worry that might be punished for their feelings.
If you’re dealing with a teen who is self-harming, there is already enough punishment happening. They are already feeling guilt and shame. So, it’s best to avoid adding to those feelings. It’s important to ask open-ended questions and really listen to what they have to say. At this point, you may decide it’s time to seek help.
Therapy can be very effective for people who want to stop self-harm behaviors. Furthermore, therapy can help your teen address and process the feelings that led to these behaviors. Also, they can learn new coping skills to help deal with strong emotions. A therapist can also work with your teen to come up with a plan of safety. These resources can be used if the urge to self-harm comes up.
If you are ready to learn how to help your teen deal with self-harming behaviors, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide therapy to people of all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!