Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch
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By: Janelle Schlueter, MS, LPC, NCC, CCTP How important is ‘normalizing’ for survivors of sexual assault? Arguably it is the most essential part. Normalizing occurs when a therapist takes a thought that the client believes to be ‘abnormal’ or ‘shameful’ and helps the client see that it is actually ‘normal.’ This is most often done through […]
How important is ‘normalizing’ for survivors of sexual assault? Arguably it is the most essential part. Normalizing occurs when a therapist takes a thought that the client believes to be ‘abnormal’ or ‘shameful’ and helps the client see that it is actually ‘normal.’ This is most often done through trauma-informed education. The result of normalizing is the removal of shame and the addition of confidence. Normalizing also significantly speeds up the healing process.
Physical arousal does not equal consent. Arousal is a natural body response. It is possible for a person not to want to participate in a sexual act, and their body can still respond to physical sensations by becoming aroused. An orgasm is even possible. It is more common than you’d think, but even during a sexual assault, the body response can overtake the anxious fight/flight thoughts. This means that you do not have to be emotionally calm and comfortable to feel pleasure. Once again, physical arousal or even orgasm does not equal consent!
When something traumatic happens to you, your brain has trouble accepting it as a reality. To allow you to gradually accept that the event has happened, your brain tends to change the memory to something more pleasant. This takes place in dreams when you cannot change your thoughts. Your brain will create more pleasant versions of what happened to you. These changes could be someone coming to your rescue, you physically fighting and winning, or making the event consensual and romanticized.
I am a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional who specializes in working with sexual assault survivors. I often hear from my clients that they are ‘ashamed’ by thoughts like these and others like them. It is vital to understand that shame or embarrassment after sexual assault is expected, but it is not yours to hold!
One way to let go of the shame is through your self-talk. Keep in mind that ‘our thoughts are not always our friend’. When you have encountered sexual assault, your thoughts tend to be hostile towards yourself. Keep challenging yourself with “would I say this to a friend who was sexually assaulted?” If the answer is no, do not say it to yourself!
If you are ready to find healing after sexual assault, one of the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide mental health counseling, as well as other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Janelle Schlueter, MS, LPC, NCC, CCTP Having a chronic disease severely impacts the quality of life. People with chronic illness struggle with daily shame. Do you or someone you know to struggle with a chronic illness? Do you struggle with shame around that illness? What is shame in regards to chronic illness? Shame is […]
Having a chronic disease severely impacts the quality of life. People with chronic illness struggle with daily shame. Do you or someone you know to struggle with a chronic illness? Do you struggle with shame around 
that illness?
Shame is self-judging or feeling embarrassed based on a negative view of yourself. The amount of or extremity of self-judging depends on who you are, often compared to others. With chronic illness, shame occurs from labeling your whole self and identity as defective, broken, or less than others. Shame outside of a chronic condition happen when we do something big, which clashes with our integrity, like lying or cheating.
Someone with chronic illness is often unable to do activities like other people. Not participating in everyday activities often repeatedly turns down invitations to activities. If you can go to activities, you may need to ask for ‘special treatment’ due to limitations. In both of those instances, both parties acknowledge that you are ‘different.’ You often interpret these ‘differences’ as ‘less than others’ or ‘a bother’ due to your illness. Primarily when other people’s judgment can oftentimes fuel the shame of chronic illness. Some people may question the validity of a chronic illness unless they can visually see it. Doctors may second guess your symptoms. Co-workers may not understand the ‘special accommodations you require. Friends or family saying comments such as “is it that bad?” It is natural to feel defeated and judged when you are being questioned repeatedly like this. Others’ questions and second-guessing is likely from ignorance and a lack of understanding 
rather than judgment. With that said, still, remember to advocate for yourself!
Chronic illness is a part of your daily life, but it is not the whole picture. Battling this internal hurt starts by acknowledging that it is not a character description or a label like ‘loving, compassionate or funny’ while you have a chronic illness. Challenge yourself to redefine the chronic illness from a larger whole and reduce it to a smaller part. Rather than saying “I am broken and ashamed’ try saying, “I have a chronic illness, but that is just a part of who I am.” There is so much more to you than the illness. As you learn to accept that your illness does not define the WHOLE you, the shame will decrease.
If you are ready to heal from shame related to chronic illness, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling for women, men, teens, and children. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Other Therapy Services We Offer
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages including eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, treatment for anxiety, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, family therapy, trauma counseling, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!