Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch
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By: Janelle Schlueter, MS, LPC, NCC, CCTP How important is ‘normalizing’ for survivors of sexual assault? Arguably it is the most essential part. Normalizing occurs when a therapist takes a thought that the client believes to be ‘abnormal’ or ‘shameful’ and helps the client see that it is actually ‘normal.’ This is most often done through […]
How important is ‘normalizing’ for survivors of sexual assault? Arguably it is the most essential part. Normalizing occurs when a therapist takes a thought that the client believes to be ‘abnormal’ or ‘shameful’ and helps the client see that it is actually ‘normal.’ This is most often done through trauma-informed education. The result of normalizing is the removal of shame and the addition of confidence. Normalizing also significantly speeds up the healing process.
Physical arousal does not equal consent. Arousal is a natural body response. It is possible for a person not to want to participate in a sexual act, and their body can still respond to physical sensations by becoming aroused. An orgasm is even possible. It is more common than you’d think, but even during a sexual assault, the body response can overtake the anxious fight/flight thoughts. This means that you do not have to be emotionally calm and comfortable to feel pleasure. Once again, physical arousal or even orgasm does not equal consent!
When something traumatic happens to you, your brain has trouble accepting it as a reality. To allow you to gradually accept that the event has happened, your brain tends to change the memory to something more pleasant. This takes place in dreams when you cannot change your thoughts. Your brain will create more pleasant versions of what happened to you. These changes could be someone coming to your rescue, you physically fighting and winning, or making the event consensual and romanticized.
I am a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional who specializes in working with sexual assault survivors. I often hear from my clients that they are ‘ashamed’ by thoughts like these and others like them. It is vital to understand that shame or embarrassment after sexual assault is expected, but it is not yours to hold!
One way to let go of the shame is through your self-talk. Keep in mind that ‘our thoughts are not always our friend’. When you have encountered sexual assault, your thoughts tend to be hostile towards yourself. Keep challenging yourself with “would I say this to a friend who was sexually assaulted?” If the answer is no, do not say it to yourself!
If you are ready to find healing after sexual assault, one of the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide mental health counseling, as well as other mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: M. Katherine Lickteig, MA, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Are you the adult child of a late-life divorce? Have you been adversely affected by the fact that your parents recently divorced? You are not alone. Adult children are often involved negatively by the divorce of their parents. They often struggle with […]
Are you the adult child of a late-life divorce? Have you been adversely affected by the fact that your parents recently divorced? You are not alone. Adult children are often involved negatively by the divorce of their parents. They often struggle with issues of grief. Adult children often question their life’s meaning. They work to find meaning from the situation. Adversely, adult children can suffer far worse than minor children. If you are struggling with issues from your parent’s divorce, you are not alone.
Late-life divorce is a term given to a couple who split after many years of marriage. The divorce rate amongst younger people has decreased. However, the divorce rate for older adults has soared in the past few years. The unintentional consequence of the increase in late-life divorce is that adult-children face emotional issues at an unprecedented rate.
Your parents have done their job. Are you being selfish? It is ok to acknowledge that it is ok to feel that way. Try to be patient with your feelings. Typical feelings that you may experience can range from grief to anger. You may need to seek a professional to work out how you are feeling.
Grief is a struggle that many adult children experience. Therefore, when adult children learn of their parent’s impending divorce, they will often go through the stages of grief. These children are shocked that what they knew as their childhood has died. The person is grieving the loss of their childhood. Occasionally, extreme levels of grief may also cause this person to question their life.
Adult children of divorce tend to question everything in their lives. They often doubt themselves and their relationships, and they often suffer from trust issues within their relationships. Sometimes, individuals will challenge themselves about the reality of their family. This will happen significantly if one spouse has rewritten the history of the marriage. They would ask themselves if they were part of the happy family they thought they were. They will question their ability to discern the truth from their lives.
Children of late-life divorce will have to deal with a change in the dynamics of the family. You may have other people to consider. Relationships may strain to the point they can never be repaired. You may no longer have a relationship with one or both parents.
Divorce is never easy. Sometimes it is unavoidable. As a result, it is important that all family members affected become involved if you are experiencing such issues due to the divorce. A trusted therapist can help. If you have any questions, please get in touch with one of our therapists at Cinco Ranch Counseling to aid you in getting through this difficult time.
If you are ready to talk about late-life divorce or inquire about personal therapy, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin personal counseling in Katy, TX you can follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, Counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Janelle Schlueter, MS, LPC, NCC, CCTP Having a chronic disease severely impacts the quality of life. People with chronic illness struggle with daily shame. Do you or someone you know to struggle with a chronic illness? Do you struggle with shame around that illness? What is shame in regards to chronic illness? Shame is […]
Having a chronic disease severely impacts the quality of life. People with chronic illness struggle with daily shame. Do you or someone you know to struggle with a chronic illness? Do you struggle with shame around 
that illness?
Shame is self-judging or feeling embarrassed based on a negative view of yourself. The amount of or extremity of self-judging depends on who you are, often compared to others. With chronic illness, shame occurs from labeling your whole self and identity as defective, broken, or less than others. Shame outside of a chronic condition happen when we do something big, which clashes with our integrity, like lying or cheating.
Someone with chronic illness is often unable to do activities like other people. Not participating in everyday activities often repeatedly turns down invitations to activities. If you can go to activities, you may need to ask for ‘special treatment’ due to limitations. In both of those instances, both parties acknowledge that you are ‘different.’ You often interpret these ‘differences’ as ‘less than others’ or ‘a bother’ due to your illness. Primarily when other people’s judgment can oftentimes fuel the shame of chronic illness. Some people may question the validity of a chronic illness unless they can visually see it. Doctors may second guess your symptoms. Co-workers may not understand the ‘special accommodations you require. Friends or family saying comments such as “is it that bad?” It is natural to feel defeated and judged when you are being questioned repeatedly like this. Others’ questions and second-guessing is likely from ignorance and a lack of understanding 
rather than judgment. With that said, still, remember to advocate for yourself!
Chronic illness is a part of your daily life, but it is not the whole picture. Battling this internal hurt starts by acknowledging that it is not a character description or a label like ‘loving, compassionate or funny’ while you have a chronic illness. Challenge yourself to redefine the chronic illness from a larger whole and reduce it to a smaller part. Rather than saying “I am broken and ashamed’ try saying, “I have a chronic illness, but that is just a part of who I am.” There is so much more to you than the illness. As you learn to accept that your illness does not define the WHOLE you, the shame will decrease.
If you are ready to heal from shame related to chronic illness, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling for women, men, teens, and children. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Other Therapy Services We Offer
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages including eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, treatment for anxiety, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, family therapy, trauma counseling, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Jessica Johns-Green, LPC Depression affects millions of people. If you are struggling with depression, you are not alone. It is estimated that over 17 million people in the US have had at least one major depressive episode https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/major-depression.shtml. Depression is treatable with self care, medication, counseling or a combination of these. Here’s a look […]
Depression affects millions of people. If you are struggling with depression, you are not alone. It is estimated that over 17 million people in the US have had at least one major depressive episode https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/major-depression.shtml. Depression is treatable with self care, medication, counseling or a combination of these. Here’s a look at what depression is and two things to start doing that can help your healing.
Depression, also called major depressive disorder, is characterized by sadness, low mood and lack of interest in things. But depression is not just being sad. Depression is longer lasting and has a more profound effect on daily life. Commonly, people struggling with depression express feelings of hopelessness. Depression can affect your ability to work, maintain relationships and engage in self-care. Some common characteristics of depression include: 
Depression is thought to be caused by a combination of things. There may be biological factors – how systems in the physical body work – that make someone more prone to depression. Social factors – our relationships, our family backgrounds and our place in the world around us – can trigger depression or make recovery from depression more difficult. Our unique personalities – the psychological strengths and challenges we bring, such as how we typically think and how we respond to situations and challenges. (Read more about depression, symptoms and treatment here https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/depression/what-is-depression).
Depression can make you feel like it’s impossible to feel better. It can make you feel like you are powerless to ever be any different than you feel now. Depression treatment can include medication, therapy and self care. The American Psychiatric Association estimates that 80% of people who seek treatment eventually feel better. Although the recovery process may take months, it is worth it.
Counseling for depression will often begin with an inventory of your symptoms and a history of your experience with depression. Although every person is different, depression therapy will usually highlight ways of thinking, general attitudes or even deep rooted beliefs that are widespread and common among depressed people.
Depression seems to force us to think of things in an all-or-nothing way. We can see no hope or good in things that once made us feel happy. We see ourselves as worthless, useless, powerless. While depressive thinking isn’t our ‘fault’, and you are not to blame if you notice your mind going that direction, there is often great benefit in challenging depressive thinking.
When depression grabs hold it can be difficult to see things in the way we do when we’re not depressed. You can start working towards a better mood now by doing this simple task.
Look for two things everyday:
To be most effective with this exercise, write down one achievement and something you feel grateful for. On a scale of 1-10 (with 1 being low) rate each one. Rating it on a scale allows us to practice being less ‘all-or-nothing’ in our thinking. Instead of thinking, ‘I didn’t do enough, it doesn’t count’, the rating system allows us to appreciate that some things deserve credit, even if they aren’t up to the same standard as when we are feeling well.
Challenging yourself to find an achievement provides a basis to question the feelings of worthlessness and uselessness that fuel depression. Looking for something to be grateful for doesn’t mean that we are ungrateful when suffering from depression. But it does provide a tool to practice healthier styles of thinking by actively looking for something we possibly didn’t notice when depression is narrowing our attention.
Ready to try?
It’s a small task, it’s simple, but internally it’s almost like you are asking yourself to step outside of depression for a moment. And that can be so tough. Be ok to not do it well. Don’t punish yourself for not doing it everyday. it might feel like you don’t push yourself enough, and that if you were better you wouldn’t be having this problem. But the truth is, criticizing yourself won’t help.
What is your definition of an achievement? On some days, depression means that just getting up to brush your teeth can be a big achievement. On other days, you might do a lot, but not feel achievement. Are there other things you’ve not noticed before? Use the activity as a tool to break the cycle of depressive thinking.
When possible, add in activities, plans that could help encourage feelings of gratitude or achievement. They don’t have to be big. Take time for yourself in some way. A moment to appreciate something in the world, even if it’s not perfect.
Depression is difficult, and even if this exercise isn’t for you, help is available. Our skilled therapists will work with you to develop a treatment plan specifically for your needs. If you think you have depression, seek help. If you or someone you know is at risk of harming themselves or others, phone 911 immediately. Here at the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, our therapists are ready to help. Contact us to arrange a session with a licensed counselor or supervised intern.
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer depression treatment for adults, teens, and kids. We also offer counseling services in other areas including anxiety treatment, trauma counseling, family therapy, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Janelle Schlueter, MS, LPC Intern What is trauma? Have you ever experienced a significant loss, chronic illness, divorce, abuse (sexual, physical, emotional, and/or verbal), serious car accident, natural disaster, military service, or any other event that you found to be significantly distressing? These are all considered traumas. Understanding what trauma is, and how it […]
What is trauma? Have you ever experienced a significant loss, chronic illness, divorce, abuse (sexual, physical, emotional, and/or verbal), serious car accident, natural disaster, military service, or any other event that you found to be significantly distressing? These are all considered traumas. Understanding what trauma is, and how it affects the mind and the body can be complicated to say the least.
If you have recently had a traumatic experience or still think about past traumas and experience strong reactions to those memories, you likely have unprocessed trauma. One thing to remember: you are worthy of living a life of peace!
How do you even begin to heal from trauma? First, everyone processes and recovers from trauma differently. However, you can begin to bring a sense of peace to your life by practicing these 5 tips to heal from past trauma.
Were you involved in a car accident and are now scared to drive? Did you have a serious illness and now find yourself panicking over mild symptoms? Were you in the military and now find yourself jumping at loud noises? Have you experienced an unhealthy relationship and break-up and now notice unhealthy relationship patterns?
It is vital to know how the trauma you have experienced has altered your life in order to move forward. It is common to not be able to identify the specific way that a trauma has altered you. You can ask a close friend, family member, or therapist to help you identify the specific ways the traumatic experience has altered your life.
Identifying a physically and emotionally safe place is crucial to healing from trauma. It is impossible to heal from trauma if you do not believe you are physically and emotionally safe. This means surround yourself with calming noises, decorations, calming scents, and emotionally healthy people.
One thing to remember with trauma is that it creates anxiety. I always tell my clients “if you see clutter, you feel clutter.” Take the time to organize the stack of mail on the counter, put away the 20 children or dog toys from the floor, wash a load of laundry from the overflowing hamper, and make sure your bedroom is as clutter-free as possible.
When healing from a trauma it is easy to forget one of the most important aspects of maintaining good mental health – self-care. Self-care is any activity that you do to increase the quality of your emotional, physical, and mental health.
Self-care includes, but is not limited to:
There is a blog on our site about self-care and when to notice that you need more! Please click on the link to read https://cincoranchcounseling.com/5-signs-you-need-to-practice-more-self-care/
It is easy for people to compare their lives to others, especially with the increase in social media use. Keep in mind – the whole story is NEVER on social media. People want to share the positive in their life on social media by leaving the ‘bad’ parts out.
Every experience is unique, especially traumatic experiences. While two people could experience the same event, both will respond differently. There is no right or wrong way to respond to any event, especially with trauma. Avoid comparing your situation with others, such as the negative thoughts of “It wasn’t as bad as (Jane Doe), they had it much worse.”
Criticizing yourself for how quickly you recover from traumatic symptoms is unhealthy and harmful. Experiencing guilt or shame from the event or how you handled your recovery is also unhealthy and harmful.
Most importantly, do not allow ANYONE to compare or criticize you – that includes yourself!
If you are struggling with trauma, ask for help from a therapist. Therapy helps you heal from trauma by noting how the event has altered you. The therapist can also help to identify and encourage healthy thinking and behaviors. The therapist can help you identify healthy support systems and encourage healthy communication so you can identify your needs.
When treating trauma with counseling, make sure you find a therapist you are comfortable with and who has experience in treating trauma. While there are lots of different treatments for trauma, the most effective tool available will always be the therapeutic relationship. If you can find a therapist you trust, you are well on your way to healing from trauma.
Our therapists at the Counseling Center can help you on this journey.
Please contact our office to discuss your therapy needs or arrange an initial consultation with Janelle.
Our counseling services at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch include couples counseling, counseling for young adults, counseling for teens, family therapy, counseling for kids, depression treatment, anxiety treatment, eating disorder treatment, group counseling, and trauma counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Center today!