Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch
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By: Carey Robey, MS, LPC Healthy boundaries are an essential part of keeping good mental health. So how do we ensure we are establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries? Well, setting boundaries is not just about setting limits with those in our lives, but also prioritizing your relationship with yourself. We have to remember our worth […]
Healthy boundaries are an essential part of keeping good mental health. So how do we ensure we are establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries? Well, setting boundaries is not just about setting limits with those in our lives, but also prioritizing your relationship with yourself. We have to remember our worth and our values.
Now more than ever, lines are blurred when it comes to work/life balance and relationships. It is important that we remember to build our personal and emotional space in a way that is healthy for us. Being aware and setting boundaries provides clarity around what is good for us, what feels comfortable, and what is healthy for our life. It can help us regain some sense of control- something that right now many feel they have lost.
There are many things we can do to reevaluate our boundaries right now! Notice the people, places, and things that tend to drain you. Is there any room or way for change in these areas? Inspect different parts of your life and self, such as physical, mental, and emotional health, work, social, and home life, and self-care. Check for any holes that may leave room for improvement. Make it a habit to notice your personal limits; when we overdo it, we risk burnout and resentment.
It is okay to say “no” and communicating with clarity and assertiveness are skills that can be learned in therapy. Setting boundaries can sometimes be hard and even uncomfortable, but allow yourself the opportunity so that you are not denying yourself happiness and self-growth. Remember to seek support if you feel overwhelmed through talking to someone like a therapist or friend and utilize coping skills and relaxation techniques.
Maybe you’re the kind of person that puts others before yourself- while that is a caring and worthy trait, it can mean you struggle to know your own worth and may have difficulty setting boundaries. Take some time to consider what is important to you. Evaluate what your values are and how you can implement them into your life. Remember that boundaries are not set in stone; they are flexible and can change when you need them to as life evolves. Check in with yourself frequently and remember sometimes it’s okay to put yourself first.
If you are ready to find out how to establish healthy boundaries, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide therapy to people of all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services in other areas including trauma counseling, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, depression treatment, anxiety treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Cheri Locke, MA, LPC, CCTP Sex. We are officially in 2021 and sex can still be a taboo topic. So let’s take a minute and talk about sex baby, let’s talk about…(Salt-N-Pepa anyone?) For many couples sex can be a source of great pleasure or great dissatisfaction. There are many factors that can play […]
Sex. We are officially in 2021 and sex can still be a taboo topic. So let’s take a minute and talk about sex baby, let’s talk about…(Salt-N-Pepa anyone?) For many couples sex can be a source of great pleasure or great dissatisfaction. There are many factors that can play a role for couples that experience displeasure in the “bedroom”. Firstly, if there are issues in your sexual relationship, rule out any medical issues. This article is not intended to help with any medical issues. Seek help from your medical provider if you believe any medical issues are present. This blog is intended to help you find ways to understand yourself a little better and hopefully spark a little fun or pleasure back into your sex life! You’re welcome.
Okay so this does not mean that you need to have sex daily. What is does mean is that you need to have a healthy understanding of what you and your partner’s level of needs are when it comes to sex. Couples that experience a strong sexual connection over a long period of time are friends (more about that later) that are able to make sex a priority in their life.
I often hear from couples in my practice that they are busy with life. They forget to make time for one another, whether it is dating, spending quality time, or having sex. An easy exercise to try is to schedule time for sex. Scheduling time for sex allows partners to take a break from life and remember their relationship. Sound unspontaneous? There are ways to make it more spontaneous. For example, you and your partner can fill a jar with “sex” ideas. On the scheduled day pull from the jar and have some fun. There are also many sex coupon books or cards that you can purchase to add mix things up.
When couples first come to see me I ask two questions, “do you feel emotionally connected” and “do you spend intentional time together.” Some couples may answer they feel emotionally connected, but the majority of couples respond they do not spend intentional time together. So what is being intentional? At the most basic level, it is responding to your partner’s needs while being wholly present.
For instance, many couples spend time watching television together. Are you together? Check. But, are you being intentional? My guess is probably not. So while there is not a one answer fits all, I encourage you and your partner to find time in your day, even if it is for 20 minutes, to be present with one another. Talk, hold hands, laugh, create memories. This will not only help create a stronger emotional connection, it will strengthen the friendship bond. In turn, this helps to create a stronger context in your relationship that promotes a healthy sexual relationship.
Red Light, Green Light, Yes To SexMany women enter into therapy explaining they love and desire their partner’s; however, it all adds up to a big zero when it comes to sex. Does this mean they have changed over time into a nonsexual being? My guess is no. What it does mean is there can be a variety of reasons sex has changed over the years. Firstly, the context of how you feel about the relationship or sex may have changed. Figuring out your emotional state in a relationship is very important to figuring out your sexual relationship.
Secondly, people have red lights and green lights to sex. Red lights are what prohibit a person from fully engaging in a sexual experience which can be an internal or external factor. For example, some women have issues with their body image that may prohibit them from being free during sex. This is considered a red light. A red light for men may be performance anxiety. When we are thinking about our bodies or our performance rather than focused on the pleasure of sex, we miss out and lose that connection. At times, we are not even aware of our red lights. However, when we can be fully present during sex, arousal and desire changes.
Furthermore, green lights are the “go” signal for sex. Many people learn about sex through their culture, experiences, and environment. Sex is a learned behavior and some of our first experiences can shape our entire sex life. Some people may be turned on by their partners putting the children to bed, while others are turned on by gently kisses on their neck. Whatever your “go” button(s) are, you need to understand yourself and direct your partner.
The answer is yes, if both partners are willing to assess the issues and make changes to the context of their relationship that are causing sexual difficulties. Both partners need to understand that rarely is the issue just about sex. There are often other components, either in the relationship or with an individual that is prohibiting a strong sexual connection. And, more often than not, I find that people are just not that aware of their needs, which often leaves their partners clueless as well.
If you are ready to improve your relationship and sex life, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide couples counseling as well as counseling services to all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages including: eating disorder treatment, depression treatment, women’s issues, treatment for anxiety, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, family therapy, men’s issues, trauma counseling, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Janelle Schlueter, MS, LPC, CCTP Do you love someone that is experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, also known as PTSD? Relationships can often be hard to navigate. When you love someone that struggles with PTSD, “relationship issues” can often take on a whole new meaning. Three Tips On How To Help Your Loved One […]
Do you love someone that is experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, also known as PTSD? Relationships can often be hard to navigate. When you love someone that struggles with PTSD, “relationship issues” can often take on a whole new meaning.
One way to help your partner is to learn how PTSD impacts them. Although there are general criteria for PTSD, the symptoms that an individual experiences is very unique. If your loved one can identify their triggers and make you aware, then that is great. However, sometimes those suffering with PTSD are not aware of triggers or what they experience when triggered. When you help identify triggers or experiences, it not only makes you aware as well, but allows you both to communicate about issues that may arise. Asking questions can be very useful.
What are some specific triggers they can identify?
What do they experience physically and mentally when they are triggered? How could you recognize this as their loved one (would you see them shaking, rocking, excessively sweating…)?
How can you help them when they get triggered? Do they need medication, to breathe or practice a grounding technique or be left alone?
Is there something that would decrease their level of anxiety on a daily basis?
Effective CommunicationCommunication is important in any relationship. However, when you are in a relationship with someone diagnosed with PTSD, communication can be crucial. Extra consideration must be paid to tone, volume, and other unintentionally harmful ways of speaking which may be triggering.
It is also important that you choose an appropriate time to have a serious discussion. Let your partner know that you need to have a discussion and set a time that works for you both. It is best to wait until your loved one is not highly anxious or coping with a trigger before trying to accomplish serious concerns. Identifying when you or your partner are flooded and needing a break in communication is also helpful.
A person suffering from PTSD rarely feels safe. Most people can say they feel safe at home, but that is not always the case for someone with PTSD. For your loved one, it is important that they have a “safe” space. “Safe” means no physical danger, but it also means emotionally safe. Take time with your partner to identify where or what they need to feel safe. For example, some people can feel more safe as long as their backs are not to the door in a social setting. For others, they may need new locks or the room re-painted. Again, every individual experiencing PTSD is different and their needs will be unique to their trauma.
Furthermore, feeling “safe” is also creating some predictability or routines. When things are predictable, they are not as likely to cause an increase in stress.
When you love and care for someone with PTSD the stress can be overwhelming for you as well. A counselor can help you with identifying and implementing healthy boundaries, effective communication, and self-care strategies.
Sometimes loving someone with PTSD can be a struggle. There are support groups for those who love people with PTSD which may help in reassuring you that you are not alone.
Hopefully your loved one has seen or is currently seeing a counselor who specializes in PTSD. If not, encourage them to seek help as well. If the relationship between you and your loved one is struggling due to what you believe is a factor of PTSD, seek a couples counselor.
Above all, treat yourself and your loved one with love and respect.
If you are ready to learn how to help you or your loved one suffering from PTSD, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide therapy to people of all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer treatment for trauma for adults, teens, and kids. We also offer counseling services in other areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Quique Autrey, MS, LPC Intern Need some ideas to improve your relationship? Has it been difficult to stay connected to your partner during the pandemic? Couples are experiencing higher levels of stress and conflict than usual. Most agree that it’s been a challenge to adjust to the new “normal.” We have all responded to […]
Need some ideas to improve your relationship? Has it been difficult to stay connected to your partner during the pandemic? Couples are experiencing higher levels of stress and conflict than usual. Most agree that it’s been a challenge to adjust to the new “normal.”
We have all responded to the uncertainty in different ways. For some, this means struggling with sleep. For others, it means engaging in avoidance behaviors or falling into depression. More time at home with the kids and a change in relationship roles has also contributed to the heightened anxiety. With all the changes, we are connecting less with our loved ones. In order to cope with all this stress, couples need to be intentional about finding creative ways to connect with each other.
Go for a 30-minute walk around the neighborhood. Moderate exercise can help reduce anxiety and improve your mood. A nice walk around a lake can provide a beautiful setting that helps you feel more calm and relaxed. Walking also activates parts of the brain that result in insight and clarity. If you want to work out an issue with your partner, going for a walk may be the perfect time to do so. Remember to hold hands while you walk. Holding hands can help reignite a feeling of emotional closeness.
Cooking a meal together can help you improve your communication with your partner. You’ll have to follow different steps and you’ll need to coordinate who does what in the meal prep. Cook a meal that’s a little outside your comfort zone.
Not sure how to get started? Hello Fresh will mail you a box with everything you need to feel like an accomplished chef (https://www.hellofresh.com). Open a bottle of your favorite wine and listen to some music while you cook your delicious meal together.
My partner and I started online dancing classes during the pandemic (https://showheroff.com). I was hesitant at first because I’ve never had much rhythm. After getting over the initial fear of embarrassment, I had a blast learning the foundational skills of dancing. Dancing is great indoor exercise and it also encourages you to work on communicating with your partner and trusting their lead. Dancing can introduce a level of fun and physical intimacy your relationship is missing in the pandemic!
2-Minute Appreciation The Gottman Institute has found that two minutes of undistracted time with your partner can be more significant for the relationship than an entire week spent together where there’s constant distraction (https://www.gottman.com/blog/3-daily-rituals-that-stop-spouses-from-taking-each-other-for-granted/).
One practice that has been meaningful for me and my partner is taking a few minutes to express what we appreciate about the other person. You can highlight what you appreciate about their appearance, their personality or something they’ve done that day. This appreciation exercise encourages you to slow down and communicate with your partner what you admire about them. This can help cultivate feelings of gratitude for the other person.
Taking a bath together has been our favorite way to stay connected over the pandemic. There are many benefits to taking a warm bath in the evening. A bath can help relieve stress and calm the nerves. Baths can help sooth a throbbing headache. Sharing a bath is very sensual and encourages you to be vulnerable and intimate with your partner. A nice bath can also be a great way to foreplay before making love.
Every relationship can benefit from couple’s counseling. Couple’s counseling is not just for relationships at the brink of falling apart. Couple’s counseling can help any partnership that needs help navigating conflict. A skilled couple’s therapist can guide you in identifying the sources of conflict and help you develop the skills you need to improve your communication! You can also work on specific goals that will help you and your partner establish patterns of emotional and sexual connection that can improve the overall quality of your relationship. If you are stuck in conflict with your partner and would like help getting unstuck, please give us a call at the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch. We would love to help you cultivate a happy and meaningful relationship with your partner.
If you are ready to improve your relationship one of the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide couple’s counseling as well as other services. To begin couples counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages including: women’s issues, treatment for anxiety, trauma counseling, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, eating disorder treatment, depression treatment, family therapy, and group counseling.
By: Jessica Johns- Green, LPC There is no doubt that Covid-19 is affecting everyone. Whether you are working from home, adjusting to the kids being home from school, or just fed up with the disruption, Covid-19 https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019 is affecting close to everyone in Texas right now. Covid-19 has many of us thinking about how to […]
There is no doubt that Covid-19 is affecting everyone. Whether you are working from home, adjusting to the kids being home from school, or just fed up with the disruption, Covid-19 https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019 is affecting close to everyone in Texas right now. Covid-19 has many of us thinking about how to protect our physical health against the virus. But with wide ranging shut downs and social distancing across the globe, our attention can also turn to what we’ll face next – when this virus is gone. It remains to be seen how Covid-19 will affect us in the longer term, but one area where we may notice it’s effects is in our mental health.
Although Covid-19 itself is a respiratory illness, the disruption to daily routines may be having profound effects on mental health. Aside from the physical danger of the virus itself, the strain of being on alert for potentially infectious situations throughout the day can take a toll. Many have lost jobs or in danger of losing jobs. The consequences of the virus and the measures taken to stop it may feel overwhelming, infuriating or traumatic. While there is no way to predict who will be affected and in what way, there are some issues that might make our mental health more vulnerable when life changes.
Fears of the virus or dealing with closures and restrictions might be fueling anxiety, even for people who have never had anxiety issues before. Or you might be someone who previously felt more in control of their symptoms and now is experiencing problems again. Threat centers in our brains often respond to triggers that feel the same in some way to past anxiety triggers.
Survival tip: Actively plan to cope with your anxiety during this time. Take time for physical activity, deep breathing and relaxation. Resist the temptation to hide from the source of your worries. If needed, write down your worries. Are they realistic? Generally, when we are suffering with anxiety we overestimate the likelihood that the worst case scenario will happen. We are usually underestimating our own abilities to cope. Use imagery to practice imagining how you would cope. Practicing to relax will also help in coping with anxiety. Try this progressive muscle relaxation at home https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nZEdqcGVzo
2) Pre-existing or Past DepressionCurrent advice to remain at home and away from others has the potential to feed into depressive symptoms. Work and/or daily routines where we can feel a little challenged and somewhat successful each day are essential to fight depression. If you are left without these things now, it may be a high risk time for depression to grab a foothold.
Survival tip: Although your normal routine might be disrupted, you can still make small goals and plan your day in a way that will give the same benefits. Make a special effort to connect with friends, family or co-workers via text, phone, email or video calls. If needed, seek a counselor. Many are offering sessions via video or phone, including us at the Counseling Center of Cinco Ranch.
If you have been struggling with substance use in the past or not, you may be finding your alcohol or drug intake is increasing. Escaping feelings, numbing, calming and even trying to not be bored are all common reasons to drink or use drugs. Staying healthy and happy takes a plan.
Survival tip: Don’t go through it alone. Reach out to supportive people and talk about what you’ve been dealing with. Plan for success. Remove the temptation and find something else to put in it’s place. To find an Alcoholics Anonymous near you, https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources
For some people, being out of work or school means they will be at risk of abuse from a partner or family member. Heightened tensions that come with financial worries or other stressors also raise the risk level in some families. Abusers come from all walks of life. So if you feel you may be at risk, take action.
Survival tip: Phone 911 if you or someone else is in danger. Leave if possible, but if not, make a safety plan-how will you be best prepared to survive the next time your abuser attacks. Make a plan for how to escape and where to get help, if needed. For further advice call the Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit https://www.thehotline.org/help/
Many are at home for long periods of time, which can mean facing relationship problems head on. Work and school often give relief from conflicts at home. Some issues might feel ignored or just simmering until recently. With social distancing from friends, family tensions might feel at an all time high. Past hurts and unresolved disagreements can bubble up.
Survival tip: Practice communicating – listening, as well as, talking. Therapy is available during this time, so getting professional input is a helpful option.
First, protect your physical health. Get enough sleep, but not too much. Eat a nutritious diet and take any medication your doctor has prescribed. Follow hygiene advice from the CDC and WHO 
https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019/advice-for-public
Second, for your mental well-being: Stay active and keep in contact with supportive networks and friends. Set small goals and make time to do them. Find a way to feel calm for at least a short time each day. Try to reconnect with things you enjoy, but have not had time to do.
If you are struggling during this time and feeling overwhelmed, you don’t have to struggle alone. We can all need some extra help from time to time, and that’s what therapy can provide. If your mood is becoming too much during the current Covid-19 outbreak, there is no need to wait for government advice to change before you can start feeling better. At the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we are offering TeleHealth (secure video sessions) at a temporarily reduced price. To find out more, read about our therapists or book your session, click here.
Our counseling services at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch include trauma counseling, couples counseling, family therapy, eating disorder treatment, counseling for young adults, counseling for teens, counseling for kids, depression treatment, anxiety treatment, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Center today!