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    girl studying at a desk getting ready for back to school, getting organized for school, therapy can help you get organized for back to school, counseling center at cinco ranch

    How to Get Organized For Back To School

    August 1, 2022

    By: Julie Sekachev, M, Ed., LPC Associate Do you struggle with getting organized for back to school? Does going back to school or college seem overwhelming? Do you struggle to stay organized and have a hard time finishing tasks? Clutter can leave you drained. Being organized is a skill that is developed through healthy habits. […]

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    How to Get Organized For Back To School

    August 1, 2022
    By: Julie Sekachev, M, Ed., LPC Associate

    Do you struggle with getting organized for back to school? Does going back to school or college seem overwhelming? Do you struggle to stay organized and have a hard time finishing tasks? Clutter can leave you drained.

    Being organized is a skill that is developed through healthy habits. However, the most important thing to keep in mind when organizing your environment is effort and commitment. Read below for ways to get rid of the overwhelm and organize your space.

    How to Get Organized For Back To School:

    Helpful Tips to Get Started:

    First and foremost, start with a clean slate. Clean off your desk and begin to add items that you actually use. Same with your closet or any other area in your room. Having fewer things means you will enjoy the things you own. Donate, sell, or recycle items that are no longer serving you.

    Also, when studying or doing any task that requires concentration keep your desk clean and clutter-free. Keep only the assignment or task on your desk you are currently working on to stay focused and avoid feeling overwhelmed.

    Third, label makers are great tools that can help you organize binders or different drawers in your dorm or room. You are more likely to put an item back in its place if it has a name.

    Additionally, If you need to get your homework assignments and project deadlines organized invest in a bullet journal or a time block planner. You can get a free PDF here. Time blocking helps you decide your priorities of the day and get more accomplished vs. to-do lists that do not have time-bound deadlines.

    Helpful Tips For a Clean Room:girl studying at a desk getting ready for back to school, getting organized for school, therapy can help you get organized for back to school, counseling center at cinco ranch

    To make things easier, create a list of things that need to be done in each room. Then, commit to cleaning one room at a time, and when you’re finished, close the door and move on to the next space. Closing the door to a cleaned room will psychologically give you a sense of accomplishment and motivation for the next room.

    Also, you can set a timer and see how much you can clean in 15 minutes.

    Create a friendly competition with family members or roommates to see who can clean the fastest.

    Put in the effort to put things back in their place- doing this will save you time and energy next time you are looking for missing assignments, homework, or keys.

    Additionally, if you are looking for a system, check out the KonMari method which features a minimalist approach to tackle organizing by category versus room by room. Check out her method here.

    Accomplish More With An Organized Space!

    girl on computer back to schoolOrganization can help you gain a sense of control, accomplishment, and pride over your work and environment. More often than not, organization leads to higher efficiency in accomplishing day-to-day chores and projects. As a result, if you can create a system to stay organized, whether decluttering regularly or committing to finishing assignments the day you intended, you will actually gain more time to spend with friends or doing other things you enjoy. For this reason, I want to encourage you this coming school year to make a commitment to yourself and begin! Your future self will thank you.

    Begin Therapy in Katy, TX!

    If you are having trouble getting organized and would like to feel less overwhelmed, the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these steps:

    1. Contact our office to set up an appointment or to get more information on stress management.
    2. Meet with one of our skilled therapists.
    3. Find new ways to stay organized and productive!

    Other Therapy Services We Offer:

    Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!

    Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: 77494, anxiety, back to school, counseling center at cinco ranch, couples therapy, family therapy, fulshear texas, Katy Texas, kids therapy, organization, organize, organized, richmond texas, school, stress

    Two friends or coworkers having a conversation at a table, talking, assertiveness blog, relationship, begin counseling in Katy Texas, Fulshear Texas, Richmond Texas, How to be more assertive

    How to Be More Assertive

    February 2, 2022

    By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Would you like to know how to be more assertive? Do you struggle to say what you mean to others? Do you struggle to make decisions and find yourself saying “yes” when you want to say “no?” Maybe you find yourself putting your […]

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    How to Be More Assertive

    February 2, 2022
    By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC Associate
    Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S

    Would you like to know how to be more assertive? Do you struggle to say what you mean to others? Do you struggle to make decisions and find yourself saying “yes” when you want to say “no?” Maybe you find yourself putting your needs and wants last to

    Two friends sitting at a table having a conversation, talking, assertiveness blog, relationship, begin counseling in Katy Texas, Fulshear Texas, Richmond Texas

     avoid conflict, but later find yourself overwhelmed, resentful, and stressed. If you identify with any of these

    examples, you may have a passive communication style that is not serving you in getting your needs met. This blog will look at five ways to increase your assertive communication skills and meet your needs!

    What is Assertive Communication?

    An assertive communication style means that you are direct and respectful when you communicate with others. Your tone of voice is firm but not aggressive. You speak your needs clearly and maintain eye contact. You take the needs of yourself and others when speaking and expressing your needs. 

    For example, let’s say that your co-worker expects you to do her part of a team project at work. You find yourself saying yes to avoid conflict but end up missing time with your family and your spouse due to

     picking up her slack after work. Later, you find yourself burned out, exhausted, missing your family, and feeling restful towards your co-worker. 

    Here you state your needs clearly and offer a team to help if your friend needs it. If you were to practice assertive communication, you could say, “unfortunately, I cannot take any more time on helping you with your part of the project. If you have any questions or need any help, we could set up a team meeting to discuss it together.” 

    Benefits of being more assertive:

    A woman giving a speech or presentation in front of a group or office, talking, assertiveness blog, relationship, begin counseling in Katy Texas, Fulshear Texas, Richmond Texas

    • Being assertive can help you build self-esteem because communicating enables you to advocate for your needs. 
    • You will earn the respect of others and increase your self-confidence and self-respect when you learn how to express your wants, thoughts, and feelings. 
    • Others will begin to learn where your boundaries are, and you will have more time for self-care or do things you enjoy.

    How to be More Assertive:

    Rehearse your message:

    When you have a specific request from others, break down what you want to say first. You can brainstorm your needs and then state your needs or desires out loud. You can role-play with your therapist or friend and ask for feedback.  

    Practice speaking your wants and needs with “I statements:”

    This style of communication will help you sound less accusatory and more respectful. For example, you can say, “I would like your help with this project,” instead of “you need to do this.” 

    Practice saying no:

    Friends, coworkers, or students talking at a lunch or dinner table, talking, assertiveness blog, relationship, begin counseling in Katy Texas, Fulshear Texas, Richmond Texas

    If you find yourself saying yes to requests and then blaming yourself or canceling plans after agreeing when you did not want to, you may need to practice saying no. Some ways to say no can be “no, I cannot do that right now,” or “no, I have another commitment.” No need to apologize or give a detailed explanation.

     Keep it brief and to the point. Remember why you are declining in the first place. If you are at capacity

    with engagements, you are doing yourself a service to not take any more things on. Or, if you want to be polite, you can offer a different activity or different time. If you do not want to spend time with this person or people, reconsider your relationship.

    Practice Active Listening:

    Assertive communication is not only about how you communicate with others, but it is also about how you receive the messages that are communicated to you. Active listening is listening without interruption, listening for the meaning behind another person’s message. After you hear the news, summarize and paraphrase the message back to ensure a clear understanding.

    Start small:

    Practice your assertive skills in situations that require you to take small risks first—maybe letting a barista know if your order was wrong or ask your friend not to call you after 9 PM. Later, once you start to build your confidence, you can challenge yourself to speak up more at work or ask your boss for a raise. 

    Remember that learning assertive communication takes time. Just as with any social skill, the more you practice, the better and more natural you will become.

    Build trust with your partner with help from the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch in Katy, TX.

    If you would like to talk more about improving your communication skills, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help!

    We provide couple’s counseling, as well as other mental health services. To begin

    couples counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:

    1. Contact our office to set up an appointment or to learn more about how to increase assertive communication 
    2. Meet with one of our knowledgeable therapists
    3. Find new ways to become your most authentic you!

    Other Therapy Services We Offer:

    Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!

     

    Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: 77494, assertive, assertive communication, assertiveness, be assertive, being assertive, communication, communication skills, Conversation, counseling center at cinco ranch, couples therapy, effective communication, family, friends, interpersonal communication, katy, relationships, strength, texas, therapy, types of communication, verbal communication

    Couple sharing a trusting moment at night, Couple leaning in close, intimacy, trust, how to build trust with your partner blog, relationship, begin counseling in Katy Texas, Fulshear Texas, Richmond Texas

    How to Build Trust with Your Partner

    January 24, 2022

    By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Do you feel like you need to build trust with your partner? Do you feel disconnected from him or her? Does it feel like they are just not there for you when you need them the most? You may start to feel distant […]

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    How to Build Trust with Your Partner

    January 24, 2022
    By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC Associate
    Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S

    Do you feel like you need to build trust with your partner? Do you feel disconnected from him or her? Does it feel like they are just not there for you when you need them the most? You may start to feel distant and unsure of what is happening or how to get the connection you once had back. Read on to find out about trust and how to rebuild it with your partner one interaction at a time.

    What is Trust, and How Do You Build It?

    Trust is transparency. It means that you will do what you say you will do. It answers the age-old question, “are you there for me when I need you the most?” Trust is also positive moral certainty about your partner. Trusting our partners means that we genuinely believe them to be ethical, honest, and good people who treat others with kindness, love, honesty, and goodwill.

    Trust is built in everyday interactions, past fights, regrettable incidents, and conflict.

    Building Trust in Everyday Interactions:

    There are opportunities in everyday interactions for couples to build trust and connection. Each partner performs small “trust tests” where they directly or indirectly ask for something from one another. Psychologist John Gottman calls these moments “bids for connection.” In couples

    Couple leaning in close, intimacy, trust, how to build trust with your partner blog, relationship, begin counseling in Katy Texas, Fulshear Texas, Richmond Texas

    counseling, we identify what these moments are for each partner and work on ways to turn towards or answer these bids.

    If these requests for attention are met, trust is built over time, and partners begin to feel like they are there for each other. If, however, partners are not emotionally or physically available, trust can also start to erode over time.

    Examples of bids are:

    • Requests for attention.
    • Asking for help with a project.
    • An offer to start a conversation or a bid for affection or sexual intimacy.

    The more your partner is confident that they can effectively get your attention and that you will respond positively, the more risk and vulnerability they will be able to take in the future for other bids.

    The way couples respond to bids matters. A partner can choose to turn towards you by acknowledging your request, turn away by ignoring your request, or turn against by responding sarcastically or angrily. If you think of your relationship as an emotional bank account, turning towards makes deposits while turning away or against makes withdraws. Turning towards bids increases positive emotions and humor between couples. The more turning towards bids you have, the more positive effect there appears to be during the conflict.

    In couples counseling, we learn how our partner tends to make requests and wants us to respond. An example of a bid maybe “I had the worst day ever at work. I lost an important account.” A turning towards response could be, “I hear you. That must have been so difficult for you. What can I do to meet your need?” A turning away bid could be ignoring your partner by walking away or playing on your phone. A turning against a bid may sound like, “ Why is it always about you?! I had a bad day too, but you never ask!”

    Building Trust During Arguments or Past Conflicts:

    Arguments are an inevitable part of all relationships. Attunement, according to John Gottman, Ph.D. is the number one way to regulate heightened emotions, or what he calls” flooding” during an argument. Negative events should be processed through the process of attunement. If they are not fully processed, they are rehearsed repeatedly in each person’s mind and brought up at other arguments. This erodes trust. The “Zeigarnik effect” states that we have better recall for not completely processed events.

    When we process emotions with our partners, we build trust by showing them that we are there. Attuning is crucial because it helps us resolve a regrettable event and avoid the chance of festering in our minds.

    How to attune to your partner:

    Emotions do not vanish by being banished. When we dismiss our partner’s feelings, we are saying, “I don’t want to hear about it when you feel this way.” “Just replace your emotion with a positive one.” Emotional dismissing comes from the belief that a person can have any emotion they desire, which is a matter of will.

    On the other hand, attunement means being aware of your partner’s emotions, turning towards those emotions, tolerance, understanding, nondefensively listening, and empathy. Shifting from being responsible for changing your partner’s feelings to understanding them. It would be best if you decided to attune. Practice the steps below to build trust:

    Check your partner’s emotional temperature:Couple sharing a trusting moment at night, Couple leaning in close, intimacy, trust, how to build trust with your partner blog, relationship, begin counseling in Katy Texas, Fulshear Texas, Richmond Texas

    Check-in with your partner by asking, “How are you doing?” This is an opportunity for intimacy and closeness. Do not be disapproving of negative emotions. Remember your partner’s vulnerabilities and sensitivities and soften how you discuss issues. Imagine your partner wearing a t-shirt with their vulnerabilities written on them.

    Turn towards your partner:

    Ask your partner for a positive need. Shift your perspective away from what you want your partner to stop doing, which will lead to defensiveness to more of what they can do to meet your needs. EX: “I need you to ask me about my day. “This is the responsibility of the speaker, not to begin with blame or criticism.

    Act with tolerance:

    Tolerance means accepting both the positive and negative emotions your partner experiences. Tolerance does not mean agreement or that we must adapt our partner’s perspective. Accept that your partner’s reality is valid and have their point of view. All feelings are acceptable, but all behavior is not.

    Try to understand your partner:

    Understanding means that we postpone our plan and seek to understand where our partner is coming from. Ask your partner if you have fully understood them or anything more.

    Nondefense listening:

    Listening without the need to defend yourself requires regulating feelings of defensiveness as you listen to your partner’s negative emotions and perceptions. This is the most challenging social skill in attunement. You can practice controlling your defensiveness by keeping quiet, pausing a beat before responding, and postponing your agenda. The key is to focus on your partner’s perceptions, not just the facts, and remember to breathe and self-soothe.Couple sharing a kiss, Couple sharing a trusting moment at night, Couple leaning in close, intimacy, trust, how to build trust with your partner blog, relationship, begin counseling in Katy Texas, Fulshear Texas, Richmond Texas

    Respond with empathy:

    Listen with compassion and understanding by putting yourself in your partner’s shoes. Seek to see the world through your partner’s eyes. Communicate your empathy and understanding through validation.

    To learn more about emotional attunement, see the book The Science of Trust by John Gottman here:

    https://smile.amazon.com/Science-Trust-Emotional-Attunement-Couples/dp/0393705951/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1641588776&sr=8-1

    Build trust with your partner with help from the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch in Katy, TX.

    If you want help to deepen your understanding of yourself and your partner and learn skills to improve your relationship, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide couple’s counseling, as well as other mental health services. To begin couples counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:

    • Contact our office to set up an appointment or to learn more about emotionally focused therapy
    • Meet with one of our knowledgeable therapists
    • Find ways to thrive in your relationship!

    Other Therapy Services We Offer:

    Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!

     

     

    Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Arguments, Attention, build trust, building trust in relationship, CBT, communication, conflict, Conversation, couples counseling, couples therapy, developing trust, earning trust, establish trust, How to build trust, katy, marriage counseling, new beginning, therapy, trust, tx, ways to build trust

    A man holding a woman on the beach. Represents the need for emotionally focused therapy for couples in Katy, TX 77494

    Emotionally Focused Therapy: Foster a Secure Bond with Your Partner

    October 29, 2021

    By: Julie Sekachev, M. Ed., LPC Associate Do you ever find yourself feeling stuck in the way you relate to your partner? It seems to be good for a while. But, soon enough you find yourselves in a cycle of feeling attacked, shut out, unwanted, or not being heard. Do you find yourself at times […]

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    Emotionally Focused Therapy: Foster a Secure Bond with Your Partner

    October 29, 2021
    By: Julie Sekachev, M. Ed., LPC Associate

    Do you ever find yourself feeling stuck in the way you relate to your partner? It seems to be good for a while. But, soon enough you find yourselves in a cycle of feeling attacked, shut out, unwanted, or not being heard. Do you find yourself at times alone? Craving a deeper level of closeness, validation or understanding? If so, read on how this empirically based therapy can help you establish emotional security, safety and accessibility to your partner.

    What is Emotionally Focused Therapy?

    Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is a type of therapy that focuses on universal key emotions and attachment needs. Universal core emotions are fear, shame, anger, surprise, shame, hurt, sadness, and joy. Each of these emotions have cues. That is, how we evaluate these emotions (safe/unsafe/ positive/negative), the way our body reacts, and the way we respond. 

    According to EFT, adult love is a hardwired adaptive attachment response. What’s more, EFT uses the foundation of attachment theory. It states that emotional responsiveness and engagement are the main predictors of satisfaction in a marriage. Furthermore, couples feel safe when they can count on their spouses to be there for them when they need them.

    Emotional engagement seems impossible when we employ negative cycles of anger, criticism, or complaints. Mix with anger, defensiveness and distance and couples can continue the disconnection loop. When couples experience disconnection, a process of separation anxiety happens. Partners begin to protest, which can look like anger. Not to mention, this is typically followed by seeking to reestablish a connection and cling to your partner. If partners do not respond to this protest, depression and isolation can set in.

    Goals of Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples

    • Recognize emotional responses and patterns of communicating
    • Create new patterns of communication
    • Create a more secure bond

    A couple looking at one another, hugging, and smiling. Represents the need for emotionally focused therapy for couples in Katy, TX 77494How a more secure bond is created between couples in EFT sessions

    Firstly, during couples therapy sessions you will learn how to voice your attachment needs. You will also express attachment-oriented emotions to your partner. These emotions can include desperation, longing, fear, or loneliness. EFT is about diving into the deeper emotions of destructive cycles. You will learn to identify your emotional responses and link these responses to interactional patterns. 

    Secondly, we work to identify and investigate vulnerable feelings, and the messages they are trying to send. For instance, uncovering and taking a risk to share these emotions with your partner is the key to a deep emotional bond. Vulnerability creates a space for compassion and a deeper sense of intimacy. Additionally, EFT can enhance your sense of safety and security with your partner. It can also strengthen your bond, which can make life stressors seem more manageable.

    For more information on EFT read “Hold Me Tight” by Sue Johnson here:

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/031611300X/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=tashaseiterth-20&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=031611300X&linkId=28ce5531c39492222bee09569d71d286

    Begin Emotionally Focused Therapy in Katy, TX

    If you are ready to improve your relationship, one of the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide couple’s counseling, as well as, other mental health services. To begin couples counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:

    • Contact our office to set up an appointment or to learn more about emotionally focused therapy
    • Meet with one of our compassionate therapists
    • Find ways to thrive in your relationship!

    Other Therapy Services We Offer

    Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!

    Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: couples counseling, couples therapy, EFT therapy

    A heterosexual couple that is hugging outside in the mountains. Represents the needs for couples counseling to help resolve conflict in Katy, TX 77494

    5 Ways Couples Counseling Can Help You Resolve Conflict

    June 28, 2021

    By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC Associate Do you find yourself arguing over money, communication, who will do the chores, jealousy, or how to spend each other’s free time? If so, you are not alone. All happy couples argue about something. However, the key is to develop skills needed to manage conflict effectively. How happy you […]

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    5 Ways Couples Counseling Can Help You Resolve Conflict

    June 28, 2021
    By: Julie Sekachev, M.Ed, LPC Associate

    Do you find yourself arguing over money, communication, who will do the chores, jealousy, or how to spend each other’s free time? If so, you are not alone. All happy couples argue about something. However, the key is to develop skills needed to manage conflict effectively. How happy you are as a couple will depend on how you resolve things you disagree on and how well you understand your partner’s perspective.

    What Is Conflict And Can We Resolve It?

    Conflict occurs when two parties have a different understanding or position on an important issue. Conflict in marriage is inevitable, and completely normal. 

    Some common misconceptions about conflict are that it is irreparable, should be avoided, and that it signals that the relationship is doomed to fail. These thinking errors can lead to suppressing our wants and desires in order to avoid an argument, which can be unhealthy and lead to resentment. Conflict can help you understand your partner’s inner world and having the tools to resolve it can help your relationship thrive. 

    A couple holding hands over a cup of coffee. Represents the need for couples counseling to resolve conflict in Katy, TX 77494Some Skills In Couples Counseling To Help Resolve Conflict

    1. Use A Soft Startup

    When conflict arises avoid using “you statements” which can lead to your partner becoming defensive, practice speaking from this formula instead “I feel…about what…I need.” Describe what is happening from your perspective. Listen with the intent to understand, use validating statements to express empathy such as “I get it, I can see why this upsets you” or “that makes sense that you would feel that way.”

    2. Take Influence From Each Other

    Accepting your partner’s influence can help you build a positive perspective of one another. Practice accepting influence by recognizing that sometimes your partner has good ideas and trying some of them out can help build mutual respect. Take this quiz to see where you stand when it comes to accepting influence from one another:

    Love Quiz: Do You and Your Partner Accept Each Other’s Influence?

    3. Repair- and De-Escalate

    De-escalate heightened emotions and reduce tension. Firstly, you can start by asking your partner questions like “I don’t feel like you understand me right now, let me try again” or “I’m sorry, I can see my part in this.” Remember to pause if things begin to feel overwhelming by asking to take a break and agreeing on a time to return to discussion after you both had a chance to calm down.

    4. Dreams Within A Conflict

    Conflict can help us understand our partner. Asking the right questions during an argument can lead to a deeper understanding of your partner’s inner world. Learning to recognize and explore your partner’s dreams can help you both move through conflict effectively. For instance, asking your partner questions may help you understand them and the situation better.

    Some questions you can ask to gain understanding:

    • “Can you tell me why this is important for you?”
    • “Does this relate to your background in some way?”
    • “What is your need or wish in this situation?”
    • “What do you feel about it?” 

    5. The Art of Compromise

    Make a list of your core needs and areas of flexibility, ask your partner to do the same. Help each other understand why your core needs are important to you. Work with your partner to find common ground and compromise on your areas of flexibility. Remember compromise will never feel perfect, the key is that you both feel understood and respected in the process.

    A couple sitting looking at the sunset surrounded by candles. Represents the need for couples therapy to resolve conflict in Katy, TX 77494Couples Counseling Can Help You Resolve Conflict

    Every relationship can benefit from couples counseling. Couples counseling is not just for relationships at the brink of falling apart. Couples therapy can help any partnership that needs help navigating conflict. A skilled couples therapist can guide you in identifying the sources of conflict and help you develop the skills you need to improve your communication!

    You can also work on specific goals that will help you and your partner establish patterns of emotional and sexual connection that can improve the overall quality of your relationship. If you are stuck in conflict with your partner and would like help getting unstuck, please give us a call at the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch. We would love to help you cultivate a happy and meaningful relationship with your partner. 

    Begin Couples Therapy in Katy, TX 

    If you are ready to improve your relationship, one of the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide couple’s counseling as well as other services. To begin couples counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:

    1. Contact our office to set up an appointment or to learn more about couples counseling
    2. Meet with one of our skilled therapists
    3. Find ways to thrive in your relationship!

    Other Therapy Services We Offer

    Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!

    Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: communication, conflict, conflict resolution, couples counseling, couples therapy, Gottman Method, resolve conflict

    A couple sitting on a bridge talking. Represents the need for healthy conflict resolution therapy in Katy, TX 77494

    Tips For Healthy Conflict Resolution

    June 24, 2021

    By: Carey Robey, MS, LPC While conflicts are a normal part of any relationship, they can often lead to arguments and fights that increase our stress and anxiety and can cause rifts in our relationships. Learning conflict resolution skills can assist you in maintaining healthy boundaries, increase healthy communication skills, and lead you to improved […]

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    Tips For Healthy Conflict Resolution

    June 24, 2021
    By: Carey Robey, MS, LPC

    While conflicts are a normal part of any relationship, they can often lead to arguments and fights that increase our stress and anxiety and can cause rifts in our relationships. Learning conflict resolution skills can assist you in maintaining healthy boundaries, increase healthy communication skills, and lead you to improved relationships. These are a few tips you can start utilizing today to resolve conflicts in a healthy way and keep relationships and mental health strong.

    Two women talking about conflict resolution. Represents the need for counseling in Katy, TX 77494A Few Ways To Have Healthy Conflict Resolution

    Do Not Ignore The Issue

    Firstly, remember that a conflict is a disagreement. Sometimes these disagreements may be big, but make the relationship the priority. Conflicts continue to fester when they are ignored. Be sure that you do not fear addressing the issue. Ignoring a problem, whether real or perceived, can lead to resentment. When addressing the problem, be sure you are in a calm and open state of mind.

    If you need a few minutes to collect yourself, take the time to do so. This avoids things getting heated and the potential of someone losing control. Some conflicts may trigger strong emotions and it is important that we prepare for this- be mindful and recall your coping skills. 

    Be Aware of Your Language and Expressions

    Secondly, it is essential that we understand and state our needs when trying to resolve conflicts and work towards being understanding and compassionate to the needs of others. Be aware of how and what you are communicating and avoid any disrespectful words or comments- also, facial expressions! If you notice the urge to engage in this, it’s time for a break.

    A couple sitting at a table not communicating and taking a break from one another. Represents the need for conflict resolution counseling in Katy, TX 77494Let whomever you are in conflict with know you need a few minutes, but will return to resolve the issue later. While you may be tempted to not return, it is important to do so to allow for resolution and avoid any chance of resentment or pent up negative feelings later. When communicating with the person you are in conflict with, be sure to focus on facts and express your feelings; try to avoid placing blame.

    Recognize Your Responsibility

    Remember it is okay to agree to disagree. There may be times when conflicts are not resolved in the way you’d prefer.  Think of what your responsibility is in the situation and what you have control over. Is there anything you can do to improve your circumstance? 

    Resolving conflicts in a healthy way provides opportunity for self-growth and can lead to stronger and healthier relationships. If you notice conflict being frequent, try to notice causes. When we can recognize the cause of a conflict, we can work towards avoiding it. Remember to utilize coping skills if things get heated. Do not be afraid to take a time-out. Need more tips? Come in for therapy to work on how to better manage emotions, assert boundaries, and increase healthy communication. 

    Begin Conflict Resolution Counseling in Katy, TX

    If you are ready to find relief from conflict in your relationship, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide therapy to people of all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:

    1. Contact our office to set up an appointment or to get more information about conflict resolution.
    2. Meet with one of our caring therapists.
    3. Find ways to reduce conflict with counseling!

    Other Therapy Services We Offer

    Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer treatment services for adults, teens, kids, couples and families. We offer counseling services in trauma counseling, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment,  depression treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!

    Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: communication, compassion, conflict, conflict resolution, couples counseling, couples therapy, mental health, relationships

    Partners laying bed becoming emotionally connected to create a stronger sexual bond after sex therapy in Katy, TX 77494

    Let’s Talk About Sex

    January 4, 2021

    By: Cheri Locke, MA, LPC, CCTP Sex. We are officially in 2021 and sex can still be a taboo topic. So let’s take a minute and talk about sex baby, let’s talk about…(Salt-N-Pepa anyone?) For many couples sex can be a source of great pleasure or great dissatisfaction. There are many factors that can play […]

    Read More

    Let’s Talk About Sex

    January 4, 2021
    By: Cheri Locke, MA, LPC, CCTP

    Sex. We are officially in 2021 and sex can still be a taboo topic. So let’s take a minute and talk about sex baby, let’s talk about…(Salt-N-Pepa anyone?) For many couples sex can be a source of great pleasure or great dissatisfaction. There are many factors that can play a role for couples that experience displeasure in the “bedroom”.  Firstly, if there are issues in your sexual relationship, rule out any medical issues. This article is not intended to help with any medical issues. Seek help from your medical provider if you believe any medical issues are present. This blog is intended to help you find ways to understand yourself a little better and hopefully spark a little fun or pleasure back into your sex life! You’re welcome.

    Couples Need To Prioritize Sex

    Okay so this does not mean that you need to have sex daily. What is does mean is that you need to have a healthy understanding of what you and your partner’s level of needs are when it comes to sex. Couples that experience a strong sexual connection over a long period of time are friends (more about that later) that are able to make sex a priority in their life.

    I often hear from couples in my practice that they are busy with life. They forget to make time for one another, whether it is dating, spending quality time, or having sex. An easy exercise to try is to schedule time for sex. Scheduling time for sex allows partners to take a break from life and remember their relationship. Sound unspontaneous? There are ways to make it more spontaneous. For example, you and your partner can fill a jar with “sex” ideas. On the scheduled day pull from the jar and have some fun. There are also many sex coupon books or cards that you can purchase to add mix things up.

    Friendship Between Partners Can Create A Strong Sexual ConnectionA man and woman laying in bed talking after having sex

    When couples first come to see me I ask two questions, “do you feel emotionally connected” and “do you spend intentional time together.” Some couples may answer they feel emotionally connected, but the majority of couples respond they do not spend intentional time together. So what is being intentional? At the most basic level, it is responding to your partner’s needs while being wholly present.

    For instance, many couples spend time watching television together. Are you together? Check. But, are you being intentional? My guess is probably not. So while there is not a one answer fits all, I encourage you and your partner to find time in your day, even if it is for 20 minutes, to be present with one another. Talk, hold hands, laugh, create memories. This will not only help create a stronger emotional connection, it will strengthen the friendship bond. In turn, this helps to create a stronger context in your relationship that promotes a healthy sexual relationship.

    Partners who recently had sex after learning their desires during couples therapy in Katy, TX 77494Red Light, Green Light, Yes To Sex

    Many women enter into therapy explaining they love and desire their partner’s; however, it all adds up to a big zero when it comes to sex. Does this mean they have changed over time into a nonsexual being? My guess is no. What it does mean is there can be a variety of reasons sex has changed over the years. Firstly, the context of how you feel about the relationship or sex may have changed. Figuring out your emotional state in a relationship is very important to figuring out your sexual relationship.

    Secondly, people have red lights and green lights to sex. Red lights are what prohibit a person from fully engaging in a sexual experience which can be an internal or external factor. For example, some women have issues with their body image that may prohibit them from being free during sex. This is considered a red light. A red light for men may be performance anxiety.  When we are thinking about our bodies or our performance rather than focused on the pleasure of sex, we miss out and lose that connection. At times, we are not even aware of our red lights. However, when we can be fully present during sex, arousal and desire changes.

    Furthermore, green lights are the “go” signal for sex. Many people learn about sex through their culture, experiences, and environment. Sex is a learned behavior and some of our first experiences can shape our entire sex life. Some people may be turned on by their partners putting the children to bed, while others are turned on by gently kisses on their neck. Whatever your “go” button(s) are, you need to understand yourself and direct your partner.

    Can Therapy Help Improve My Sex Life?

    The answer is yes, if both partners are willing to assess the issues and make changes to the context of their relationship that are causing sexual difficulties. Both partners need to understand that rarely is the issue just about sex. There are often other components, either in the relationship or with an individual that is prohibiting a strong sexual connection. And, more often than not, I find that people are just not that aware of their needs, which often leaves their partners clueless as well.

    Begin Sex Counseling in Katy, TX

    If you are ready to improve your relationship and sex life, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide couples counseling as well as counseling services to all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:

    1. Contact our office to set up an appointment or to get more information about couples counseling
    2. Meet with one of our caring therapists
    3. Find ways to improve your sexual relationship!

    Other Therapy Services We Offer

    Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages including: eating disorder treatment, depression treatment, women’s issues, treatment for anxiety, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, family therapy,  men’s issues, trauma counseling, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!

     

    Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: couples, couples therapy, marriage, marriage counseling, relationships, sex therapy



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    23236 Kingsplace Drive
    Katy, TX 77494

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