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    info@cincoranchcounseling.com | 281-665-7811

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    older couple standing by the ocean contemplating divorce, overcoming a gray divorce blog, counseling center at cinco ranch, katy texas, fulshear texas

    Overcoming a “Gray Divorce”

    August 22, 2022

    By: M. Katherine Lickteig, MA, LPC Associate Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S What is a “Gray Divorce?” While the term is not widely known, a “gray divorce” is far more common than people realize. In 2012, researchers at Bowling Green State University coined the phrase after the phenomenon of people that were married for […]

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    Overcoming a “Gray Divorce”

    August 22, 2022
    By: M. Katherine Lickteig, MA, LPC Associate
    Supervised by Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S

    What is a “Gray Divorce?”older couple standing by the ocean contemplating divorce, overcoming a gray divorce blog, counseling center at cinco ranch, katy texas, fulshear texas

    While the term is not widely known, a “gray divorce” is far more common than people realize. In 2012, researchers at Bowling Green State University coined the phrase after the phenomenon of people that were married for a long time that divorced. The researchers found that the divorce rate in the United States had doubled in the past two decades and has more than doubled for couples over 65. They dubbed this phenomenon the “gray divorce revolution”.  The phenomenon of gray divorce is not isolated to the United States. That is to say, it is affecting all nationalities and cultures.

    Factors That Attribute to the Phenomenon:

    There are many factors that contribute to the rise of late-life divorce. Women are considered to be better suited to live independently because of increased job opportunities. Secondly, due to the increasing availability of the internet, there is ample opportunity to explore other options. Whatever the reasons for the increase among boomers, there is an unintentional consequence in how it affects adult children.

    Emotional Issues of Adult Children of Gray Divorce

    The primary question is do these divorces cause emotional issues for their children? The parents of gray divorces have done their job, so what is the big deal when a divorce happens? Many couples feel they have earned the right to live life on their terms, and they are correct to a certain degree. However, as is familiar with any action, there are unintentional consequences.

    a person holding a wedding ring that has been taken off, thinking about divorce, overcoming a gray divorce blog, counseling center at cinco ranch, katy texas, fulshear texas

    Grief is a common emotion, and some (adult) children will suffer psychological issues. As a result, they develop trust and relational issues with others. It skews personal identity and changes the parent-child relationship dynamic. When adult children learn of their parent’s divorce, they may go through the same stages of grief as if they’d lost a loved one.

    Divorce Makes Them Question the Reality of Their Lives

    Adult children of divorce tend to question everything in their lives. Therefore, they often doubt themselves and their relationships. Additionally, they may suffer from trust issues within their relationships. If an affair has happened, they often ask themselves “will happen to me?”, or “is it possible that I can treat another individual in this manner?”. If they have had a happy childhood they may question whether or not they can trust the reality of their upbringing, especially if one spouse has rewritten the history of the marriage.

    Change in the Dynamics of Family Relationships After Divorce

    Ultimately, we have to deal with the change of dynamics in the family relationships. No longer is the choice of  Thanksgiving as easy as it had been in the past. Now, there may be other people to consider. Relationships may become strained to the point of disrepair. Oftentimes, men of “Gray Divorce” choose not to be involved with their children after the divorce.

    Divorce is sometimes an inevitable part of life. However, it can be made more bearable with a trusted therapist by your side.

    Begin Personal Healing from Divorce with Help from the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch in Katy, TX.

    If you would like to talk more about personal therapy and divorce, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling and mental health services. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:

    • Contact our office to set up an appointment or to learn more about divorce therapy.
    • Meet with one of our divorce-focused therapists.
    • Find ways to overcome your struggles today.

    Other Therapy Services We Offer:

    Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch, we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to post blogs regularly. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!

    Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: 77494, boomers, childhood, counseling center at cinco ranch, couples, couples therapy, divorce, divorce therapy, fulshear texas, gray divorce, happiness, Katy Texas, late life divorce, marriage, over 65, phenomenon, relational issues, relationship issues, richmond texas, therapy, unhappy marriage

    Partners laying bed becoming emotionally connected to create a stronger sexual bond after sex therapy in Katy, TX 77494

    Let’s Talk About Sex

    January 4, 2021

    By: Cheri Locke, MA, LPC, CCTP Sex. We are officially in 2021 and sex can still be a taboo topic. So let’s take a minute and talk about sex baby, let’s talk about…(Salt-N-Pepa anyone?) For many couples sex can be a source of great pleasure or great dissatisfaction. There are many factors that can play […]

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    Let’s Talk About Sex

    January 4, 2021
    By: Cheri Locke, MA, LPC, CCTP

    Sex. We are officially in 2021 and sex can still be a taboo topic. So let’s take a minute and talk about sex baby, let’s talk about…(Salt-N-Pepa anyone?) For many couples sex can be a source of great pleasure or great dissatisfaction. There are many factors that can play a role for couples that experience displeasure in the “bedroom”.  Firstly, if there are issues in your sexual relationship, rule out any medical issues. This article is not intended to help with any medical issues. Seek help from your medical provider if you believe any medical issues are present. This blog is intended to help you find ways to understand yourself a little better and hopefully spark a little fun or pleasure back into your sex life! You’re welcome.

    Couples Need To Prioritize Sex

    Okay so this does not mean that you need to have sex daily. What is does mean is that you need to have a healthy understanding of what you and your partner’s level of needs are when it comes to sex. Couples that experience a strong sexual connection over a long period of time are friends (more about that later) that are able to make sex a priority in their life.

    I often hear from couples in my practice that they are busy with life. They forget to make time for one another, whether it is dating, spending quality time, or having sex. An easy exercise to try is to schedule time for sex. Scheduling time for sex allows partners to take a break from life and remember their relationship. Sound unspontaneous? There are ways to make it more spontaneous. For example, you and your partner can fill a jar with “sex” ideas. On the scheduled day pull from the jar and have some fun. There are also many sex coupon books or cards that you can purchase to add mix things up.

    Friendship Between Partners Can Create A Strong Sexual ConnectionA man and woman laying in bed talking after having sex

    When couples first come to see me I ask two questions, “do you feel emotionally connected” and “do you spend intentional time together.” Some couples may answer they feel emotionally connected, but the majority of couples respond they do not spend intentional time together. So what is being intentional? At the most basic level, it is responding to your partner’s needs while being wholly present.

    For instance, many couples spend time watching television together. Are you together? Check. But, are you being intentional? My guess is probably not. So while there is not a one answer fits all, I encourage you and your partner to find time in your day, even if it is for 20 minutes, to be present with one another. Talk, hold hands, laugh, create memories. This will not only help create a stronger emotional connection, it will strengthen the friendship bond. In turn, this helps to create a stronger context in your relationship that promotes a healthy sexual relationship.

    Partners who recently had sex after learning their desires during couples therapy in Katy, TX 77494Red Light, Green Light, Yes To Sex

    Many women enter into therapy explaining they love and desire their partner’s; however, it all adds up to a big zero when it comes to sex. Does this mean they have changed over time into a nonsexual being? My guess is no. What it does mean is there can be a variety of reasons sex has changed over the years. Firstly, the context of how you feel about the relationship or sex may have changed. Figuring out your emotional state in a relationship is very important to figuring out your sexual relationship.

    Secondly, people have red lights and green lights to sex. Red lights are what prohibit a person from fully engaging in a sexual experience which can be an internal or external factor. For example, some women have issues with their body image that may prohibit them from being free during sex. This is considered a red light. A red light for men may be performance anxiety.  When we are thinking about our bodies or our performance rather than focused on the pleasure of sex, we miss out and lose that connection. At times, we are not even aware of our red lights. However, when we can be fully present during sex, arousal and desire changes.

    Furthermore, green lights are the “go” signal for sex. Many people learn about sex through their culture, experiences, and environment. Sex is a learned behavior and some of our first experiences can shape our entire sex life. Some people may be turned on by their partners putting the children to bed, while others are turned on by gently kisses on their neck. Whatever your “go” button(s) are, you need to understand yourself and direct your partner.

    Can Therapy Help Improve My Sex Life?

    The answer is yes, if both partners are willing to assess the issues and make changes to the context of their relationship that are causing sexual difficulties. Both partners need to understand that rarely is the issue just about sex. There are often other components, either in the relationship or with an individual that is prohibiting a strong sexual connection. And, more often than not, I find that people are just not that aware of their needs, which often leaves their partners clueless as well.

    Begin Sex Counseling in Katy, TX

    If you are ready to improve your relationship and sex life, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide couples counseling as well as counseling services to all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:

    1. Contact our office to set up an appointment or to get more information about couples counseling
    2. Meet with one of our caring therapists
    3. Find ways to improve your sexual relationship!

    Other Therapy Services We Offer

    Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages including: eating disorder treatment, depression treatment, women’s issues, treatment for anxiety, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, family therapy,  men’s issues, trauma counseling, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!

     

    Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: couples, couples therapy, marriage, marriage counseling, relationships, sex therapy

    Married couple sitting on the kitchen floor laughing and drinking wine in Katy, TX 77494

    5 Ways to Improve Your Relationship and Connect with Your Partner During the Pandemic

    July 27, 2020

    By: Quique Autrey, MS, LPC Intern Need some ideas to improve your relationship? Has it been difficult to stay connected to your partner during the pandemic? Couples are experiencing higher levels of stress and conflict than usual. Most agree that it’s been a challenge to adjust to the new “normal.” We have all responded to […]

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    5 Ways to Improve Your Relationship and Connect with Your Partner During the Pandemic

    July 27, 2020
    By: Quique Autrey, MS, LPC Intern

    Need some ideas to improve your relationship? Has it been difficult to stay connected to your partner during the pandemic? Couples are experiencing higher levels of stress and conflict than usual. Most agree that it’s been a challenge to adjust to the new “normal.”

    We have all responded to the uncertainty in different ways. For some, this means struggling with sleep. For others, it means engaging in avoidance behaviors or falling into depression. More time at home with the kids and a change in relationship roles has also contributed to the heightened anxiety. With all the changes, we are connecting less with our loved ones. In order to cope with all this stress, couples need to be intentional about finding creative ways to connect with each other. 

    A Few Ways to Connect With Your Partner and Improve Your Relationship

    Go For A Walk A heterosexual couple walking down the sidewalk holding hands after leaving their couples therapy session

    Go for a 30-minute walk around the neighborhood. Moderate exercise can help reduce anxiety and improve your mood. A nice walk around a lake can provide a beautiful setting that helps you feel more calm and relaxed. Walking also activates parts of the brain that result in insight and clarity. If you want to work out an issue with your partner, going for a walk may be the perfect time to do so. Remember to hold hands while you walk. Holding hands can help reignite a feeling of emotional closeness. 

    Cook Together 

    Cooking a meal together can help you improve your communication with your partner. You’ll have to follow different steps and you’ll need to coordinate who does what in the meal prep.  Cook a meal that’s a little outside your comfort zone.

    Not sure how to get started? Hello Fresh will mail you a box with everything you need to feel like an accomplished chef (https://www.hellofresh.com). Open a bottle of your favorite wine and listen to some music while you cook your delicious meal together. 

    Learn To Dance 

    My partner and I started online dancing classes during the pandemic (https://showheroff.com). I was hesitant at first because I’ve never had much rhythm. After getting over the initial fear of embarrassment, I had a blast learning the foundational skills of dancing. Dancing is great indoor exercise and it also encourages you to work on communicating with your partner and trusting their lead. Dancing can introduce a level of fun and physical intimacy your relationship is missing in the pandemic!

    A couple holding hands and connecting after their couples counseling session in Katy, TX 774942-Minute Appreciation 

    The Gottman Institute has found that two minutes of undistracted time with your partner can be more significant for the relationship than an entire week spent together where there’s constant distraction (https://www.gottman.com/blog/3-daily-rituals-that-stop-spouses-from-taking-each-other-for-granted/).

    One practice that has been meaningful for me and my partner is taking a few minutes to express what we appreciate about the other person. You can highlight what you appreciate about their appearance, their personality or something they’ve done that day. This appreciation exercise encourages you to slow down and communicate with your partner what you admire about them. This can help cultivate feelings of gratitude for the other person.

    Bath Time 

    Taking a bath together has been our favorite way to stay connected over the pandemic. There are many benefits to taking a warm bath in the evening. A bath can help relieve stress and calm the nerves.  Baths can help sooth a throbbing headache. Sharing a bath is very sensual and encourages you to be vulnerable and intimate with your partner. A nice bath can also be a great way to foreplay before making love.

    Relationship Counseling Can HelpA man and woman holding hands to strengthen their relationship and connection

    Every relationship can benefit from couple’s counseling. Couple’s counseling is not just for relationships at the brink of falling apart. Couple’s counseling can help any partnership that needs help navigating conflict. A skilled couple’s therapist can guide you in identifying the sources of conflict and help you develop the skills you need to improve your communication! You can also work on specific goals that will help you and your partner establish patterns of emotional and sexual connection that can improve the overall quality of your relationship. If you are stuck in conflict with your partner and would like help getting unstuck, please give us a call at the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch. We would love to help you cultivate a happy and meaningful relationship with your partner. 

    Begin Couples Therapy in Katy, TX 

    If you are ready to improve your relationship one of the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide couple’s counseling as well as other services. To begin couples counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:

    1. Contact our office to set up an appointment or to get more information on couples counseling 
    2. Meet with one of our skilled therapists
    3. Find ways to thrive in your relationship!

    Other Therapy Services We Offer

    Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages including: women’s issues, treatment for anxiety, trauma counseling, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, eating disorder treatment, depression treatment, family therapy, and group counseling. 

    Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: couples, marriage, relationships, self-care, stress

    A man and woman married couple staring at one another smiling after spending quality time together

    Simple Ways To Deepen The Bond In Your Marriage

    June 17, 2020

    By: Cheri Locke, MA, LPC Marriage is a beautiful thing and there is nothing more amazing than the love and bond you share with your partner. What happens though when life happens and you start to feel less connected with your spouse? Connection in Marriage Should Be Natural…Right? Let’s face it…we have all said it. […]

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    Simple Ways To Deepen The Bond In Your Marriage

    June 17, 2020
    By: Cheri Locke, MA, LPC

    Marriage is a beautiful thing and there is nothing more amazing than the love and bond you share with your partner. What happens though when life happens and you start to feel less connected with your spouse?

    A man and woman married couple sitting together being intentional with one another after their counseling session in Katy, TX 77494Connection in Marriage Should Be Natural…Right?

    Let’s face it…we have all said it. I’m tired or I’m busy. The kids have this thing or that thing and then before we know it the day is over. We go to sleep, wake up and repeat. I see many couples that say “I feel like we are on autopilot.” So how do you go to work, take care of the home and kids, take care of yourself, oh and keep a strong connection in your relationship?

    “A strong relationship requires choosing to be intentional in showing your partner that you love them everyday.”

    Simple Ways to Be More Intentional in Your Marriage

    Schedule Together Time

    This is one of the most important things that I have couples incorporate during their time in therapy. And, hopefully they continue! Spending even just 20 minutes a day focused on each other can help you feel more connected. Many people think that if you are together while accomplishing “tasks” then you are at least together. The reality is that while that is okay- it does not equate into keeping a strong bond. Keep it simple, but schedule the time so that it becomes a part of your life rather than a moment forgotten.

    Date More OftenA married man and woman spending time together holding hands at a table while drinking a cup of coffee

    Couples that are connected and feel that they have a strong bond feel more satisfied and happy. So how do you accomplish that when busy lives prevail? Go on a date. Many couples quit dating after marriage and after time begin to feel like their marriage is put on the back burner compared to other things in their life. The reality is couples should continue to date throughout their lifetime. Yes, how often and where you go will change, but only dating for special occasions will not keep the bond strong. Try to schedule a date once a week (with intention) and if that is difficult due to work or kids, then at least try for every other week.

    Write Love Notes

    Do you enjoy saying I love you to your partner? Well, I hope the answer is yes, but I often hear from couples that sometimes it just feels “routine” or “monotonous.” Change it up a bit! You can easily send a love text, leave a little note on a coffee mug or mirror to say I love you. The little extra always feels special. As part of therapy, I have couples write “I love you because…” notes to remind them why they chose their partner and to inject positivity. A little love note is always a nice reminder to your partner that you care and they matter to you.

    African American couple smiling and having fun after their marriage therapy session in Katy, TX 77494Have Fun

    In a world where people lead extremely busy lives, let loose and have some fun with your partner. Many couples get caught up in the “business” of taking care of the home, the kids, the bills, the…where does the list end. While all of those things need to be attended to, it does not mean that is all there is to life. So what is fun to you? Start inviting your partner to share in the fun- it helps create more connected moments between the two of you. Plus laughter is good for the soul!

    Begin Marriage Counseling in Katy, TX

    If you are ready to strengthen the bond with your partner, the therapists at The Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide couples counseling services as well as cater to specific needs for men and women in relationships. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:

    1. Contact our office to set up an appointment or to get more information about marriage therapy
    2. Meet with one of our compassionate therapists
    3. Find ways to create a more intentional marriage with counseling!

    Other Therapy Services We Offer

    Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages including:  women’s issues, treatment for anxiety, trauma counseling, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, eating disorder treatment, depression treatment, family therapy,  men’s issues, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!

    Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: communication, love, marriage, relationship



    281-665-7811
    info@cincoranchcounseling.com

    23236 Kingsplace Drive
    Katy, TX 77494

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