Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch
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By: Cheri Locke, MA, LPC At times parenting a child or teen with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, ADHD or ADD, can be overwhelming. As parents you may struggle to understand your child. As a couple, there may be consistent differences in how to handle situations with your child that may lead to conflict. The whole […]
At times parenting a child or teen with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, ADHD or ADD, can be overwhelming. As parents you may struggle to understand your child. As a couple, there may be consistent differences in how to handle situations with your child that may lead to conflict. The whole family can experience a disruption that leaves everyone feeling frazzled and emotionally drained. However, there are some things that you can do to provide stability and calmness in your home. These things will also help your relationship with your child and with your partner.
Children with ADHD often experience just as much frustration as their parents. They want to be able to “do” all of the things that are asked of them. Remember, children with ADHD typically have deficits in some executive functioning which include the ability to organize, complete tasks, think or plan ahead. Parents can learn to manage and guide their children in positive ways, assisting in areas where their child experiences the most difficulties.
It is really important you get to know your child’s routine and understand how long she/he needs for homework, to get ready, etc. Being rushed is sure to trigger a meltdown or a fight. You can constructively allow your child time to work at their pace. For example, asking my child to get ready in 20 minutes in the morning does not work and leads to everyone feeling flustered. I know that he needs time to ease into the morning so 45 minutes to an hour works better for him and sets the tone for a better day. You can also set them up for success. Use timers and clocks around the house to alert them when their time is over. For example, if you tell them they have 15 more minutes of “play” time, set a timer to signal the end of time for an easy transition.
Structure and routines are very helpful no matter the age. Find a routine that works well for your child and try to stick to it. When they know what to expect it helps them function better. Also, the older a child becomes, the more help they need staying organized and planning, especially for school. As parents, we tend to think that because they are maturing we can step back. However, parents and kids end up more frustrated because homework is not done and/or turned in. The entire school experience can become daunting. Ask your teen what they feel will help them best. You can add simple solutions to your daily routine such as a whiteboard, a planner, daily to-do lists, or daily check-in's. The teen years are not the time to let your kid figure it out on their own. With a little help in organization and planning, children can be successful.
Creating a space for your child can look different to every person that reads this blog. For some, it will mean creating a quiet space for your child to work. For others, it may mean carving out some positive time in your day to spend with your child. It may also mean allowing them to run at the soccer field to burn off some energy. Whatever this looks like for your family, take it. Who knows, it may even be a combination of the three!
I see many couples that often experience some issues with parenting. Recently, several couples have brought up issues related to parenting a child with ADHD. I believe it is important for couples to be united in helping their children. Here are just a few simple steps you can take today.
As parents of a child with ADHD it is important that you educate yourself. The needs of children with ADHD are different and cannot be “lumped” in or compared to those of other children. Read books or articles that are from reputable providers. Ask your child's doctor if they have any resources. If your child is old enough, ask she/he what they feel will work best. Sometimes, our kids can offer some of the best insight on what will help them personally.
One thing I often hear from couples in session is they fight over their children and are at opposite ends of how to handle the situation. You are not going to agree on every parenting aspect, especially when it comes to parenting a child with ADHD. However, you can talk about it and come up with a solution that best serves your child. The last thing we want is to make your child feel that they are the cause of their parents fighting. Remember, this is a diagnosis. Your child is not intentionally "not listening." Find a way to work with your partner, even if you need to compromise a bit!
If I haven’t said it yet, parenting a child with ADHD can be exhausting. If you are frustrated, the best thing you can do for yourself and your child is take a break. Let your partner take over. Repeat as often as needed. This helps keep things more calm and allows more positivity to emerge. When we are positive, children are more positive. It does not feel good to anyone involved to give or hear constant negativity or consequences. Allow yourself the space to see what your child did that day that you can give them praise.
As a parent, you can help your child overcome their daily challenges, help to increase calm and structure, and learn to respond in more positive ways. It is important to recognize what your child needs to be successful. For some, it is gentle reminders to raise their hands to speak, while for others, it may be reminding them to actually speak up for themselves rather than daydreaming. ADHD is not a one size fits all and it is not always the child that cannot sit quietly in his/her chair. Remember, at times we as parents do become mentally and physically drained from the daily demands of parenting a child with ADHD. If you feel that you are struggling, please reach out for help.
If you are ready to learn techniques to help your child and your relationship, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide parenting related services as well as counseling services to all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Contact our office to set up an appointment or to get more information about parenting therapy
Meet with one of our compassionate therapists
Find ways to help your child with ADHD through counseling!
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages including: eating disorder treatment, depression treatment, women’s issues, treatment for anxiety, couples and marriage counseling, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, family therapy, men’s issues, trauma counseling, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Everyone experiences anxiety from time to time, but there are times where it can feel hard to manage. The symptoms of anxiety may get overwhelming. Feelings, thoughts, or physical symptoms are the main ways that anxiety can rear its head. Feelings can include stress, nervousness, worry, and irritability. Thoughts tend […]
Everyone experiences anxiety from time to time, but there are times where it can feel hard to manage. The symptoms of anxiety may get overwhelming. Feelings, thoughts, or physical symptoms are the main ways that anxiety can rear its head. Feelings can include stress, nervousness, worry, and irritability. Thoughts tend to be negative. Some physical symptoms of anxiety are muscle tension, trouble sleeping, and raised heart rate.
One population that is frequently affected by anxiety is adolescents. The adolescent brain is still developing, and managing the symptoms of anxiety can be hard. This can make it more difficult to deal with daily stressors such as school and family or peer conflict. Environmental issues, including the COVID-19 pandemic, also affect adolescents, and can increase their anxiety.
“Adolescents who are dealing with anxiety may have trouble with school performance, struggle socially, or even engage in risky behaviors, like abusing drugs or alcohol. “
At any given time in the United States, 25.1% of teens ages 13-18 deal with anxiety disorders, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (https://adaa.org/about-adaa/press-room/facts-statistics). This may seem like a high percentage, and can be concerning for families. Parents who see their teen suffering from anxiety may feel helpless or anxious themselves.
Recently, the world as we know it has changed. Parents are working from home. Teenagers are engaging in online learning. Many people, particularly the young, feel isolated. Mental health issues, including anxiety, can increase due to the current state of affairs. Although stress is high and risk factors are present, there is hope. Parents can provide support for their teens who are suffering from anxiety, whether it is during a crisis, or during day to day life.
The value of feeling heard, especially for a teenager, is often underestimated. The simple act of allowing your child to talk to you freely is so important. Forcing teens to talk is not beneficial, but creating a comfortable space, free of judgment, where teens feel safe to share, can have a positive effect.
Assure your teen that it is normal to feel anxious at times, especially when there are stressors present. Acknowledge the feeling without dismissing it. It can be helpful for teens to know that you experience struggles and anxiety at times also. Brainstorm ideas together on how to manage the feelings. Some ideas may include talking it out, journaling, practicing yoga, taking walks, and enjoying time with family or pets.
Electronics including phones, tablets, computers, and video games can be easy escapes from stress, but too much screen time can cause disconnection and irritability. Social media can also be a source of stress for adolescents. Taking scheduled breaks from electronics to relax, spend time with family, or focus on other projects may help to decrease overall anxiety.
Anxiety can be made worse when we do not take care of our minds and bodies. It is helpful to get enough quality sleep, eat healthy foods, drink water, get exercise, and connect emotionally with others. No one is perfect, but striving to practice healthy habits as parents, and encourage them in teens can help decrease anxiety.
Although parents can support their children by listening, validating, and setting boundaries, professional help may also be essential. Trained professional counselors who have experience working with teens and teen mental health issues can assist in processing the causes of anxiety, and can educate on mental health in general. Therapists also assist teens in building healthy coping skills.
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy and Family Counseling can help adolescents and their families find relief from anxiety and its symptoms. The therapists at the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch are trained in working with teens, families, and the mental health issues that may arise for this population.
There is hope! Many people find relief and build coping skills that can last a lifetime when they seek out professional help. Please do not hesitate to reach out today and call for help!
Our counseling services at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch include counseling for children and adolescents dealing with depression, self-injury, and school issues. We also provide services for family therapy, counseling for young adults, trauma counseling, anxiety treatment, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, depression treatment, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Center today!