Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch
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By: Margie Frisco, Life Coach Being a parent can be one of the hardest jobs in life. It can feel overwhelming to raise kids, with the pressure of allowing your children to have their feelings but still be in “control” of your own household. For many parents, the goal of parenting is to raise a […]
Being a parent can be one of the hardest jobs in life. It can feel overwhelming to raise kids, with the pressure of allowing your children to have their feelings but still be in “control” of your own household. For many parents, the goal of parenting is to raise a child that can be self-sufficient in adulthood.
Establish Clear Boundaries:As a parent, we get to choose what the rules are, how to enforce them, and how to react if the rules are not kept. With that being said, children are not mind readers. Here are a few ways to ensure that the rules are clearly defined and understood by the child. First, you can have them repeat back what the rules and consequences (positive and negative) are. Another way to help children comply with the rules, or boundaries is to have them help create the rules and boundaries. This can be particularly effective for grade school and middle school kids. Also, as a reminder, having the rules listed so if the child forgets or needs a reminder, they are visible.
As parents it is important to openly listen to our children. Listening and validating your child’s feelings and emotions will allow them to practice this specific communication technique that will benefit them in future relationships with partners, in their future workspace, and in their social life. This allows your child to practice effectively communicating how they feel in a healthy way, also indicating to them when a relationship is unhealthy and unproductive for them. They will gain confidence and be able to speak up for themselves and to again be a self-sufficient adult, even when others are not treating them well.
To address punishment, keep in mind everyone can have a different definition of punishment, whether that looks like taking something away, grounding, or additional chores. Make sure that the punishment is fitting for the initial rule that was broken. For example, if we are just starting out with a new rule, your child might need some grace in remembering the new rule. Or if a child forgets to do a chore for the hundredth time, maybe a little more than just reminding. Remember parents how we felt when we had major punishments as a child? Did it make you feel that you could come to your parents and talk openly?
Rewards or incentives for good behavior can also deter poor behavior. Utilizing a reward system also can prepare your child for a more real world experience. For example, if a child does their chores they can be rewarded with a family game night where they can choose the game or allowing them to choose what is made for dinner one night. The reward doesn’t have to be money. The basic option of allowing a child to make a decision and choose to reach a goal sets them up with the same systems that they can use in adulthood.
If you are ready to improve your parenting skills, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! To begin parenting counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages in areas including: counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs. We provide helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Quique Autrey, MS, LPC Associate Teenage boys are wild, quirky and full of life. Many of them are running at full speed. They may be smart and passionate, but many struggle to make the best decisions in life. They seem to be more driven by their appetite and hormones than reason and common sense. […]
Teenage boys are wild, quirky and full of life. Many of them are running at full speed. They may be smart and passionate, but many struggle to make the best decisions in life. They seem to be more driven by their appetite and hormones than reason and common sense. Then there’s the fact that we rarely pay attention to our teen’s mental health. Focusing on our boy’s mental health is as important as caring about their physical health and academic performance. In fact, the more we help our teens improve their mental health, the greater chance they have of succeeding in all the areas of their life. Teen boys need access to a mental health toolkit that can help them feel good about themselves and to relate more positively to others.
Teenage boys need strong friendships. Positive friendships provide shared experiences that help improve a guy’s self esteem. Making friends is not always easy at their age. Young boys have a much easier time making friends at school or in the neighborhood. Teens have to worry about status, expectations and all the other stressors that make cultivating a friendship a real challenge. Don’t completely write off online friendships.
Online friendships can have an important place in a teen’s life. In our current day, it is not always possible to hang out with friends face to face. Teenage boys have developed creative ways to connect with their peers on social media, video games and other digital platforms. Parents should be careful not to take away social connections when giving a consequence. There are other ways to discipline a teen than taking away their access to friends.
We all benefit from having interests outside of work and school. A hobby is anything creative or active a teen can engage in that will help them take a break from their daily stressors and routine. During the last year many teens have been forced to stay home in front of a screen.
Encouraging a hobby that requires physical exercise and time outside could be a real plus. Many teens benefit from martial arts or rock climbing. For the more creative types, learning to play the guitar or work on a car can be a good idea.
A hobby does not have to cost an arm and a leg! There are plenty of options out there that are affordable. The important thing to remember is that your teen needs active and creative time away from their normal schedule.
Teen boys do not always want to talk to their parents about what’s going on. That’s not always a bad thing. Since there are some things teens feel embarrassed to talk to their parents about (SEX!), it’s important that we help our teens connect with other mature adults.
If your son plays sports, getting to know the coach is a good idea. Coaches can help teens practice self-discipline and teamwork. If your family attends church, encouraging a relationship with the youth worker can be a huge positive. Your son can learn important lessons about compassion, service and making wise decisions. A therapist can also be a great adult relationship for your son. In therapy, your son can learn the value of talking about feelings and creating attainable goals.
It is important for teen boys to feel they are in control of some aspects of their life. Teen boys often fall into depression when they feel like nothing they do really matters. What is something you can encourage your son to do that will give him a sense of control and mastery?
One simple thing is asking him to clean his room. Are you serious? Yes! Of course they won’t like this suggestion at first. But think about it. Their room is their little kingdom. If a teen can begin to take responsibility for cleaning and maintaining their room, this can spill over into other aspects of their life. Your teen may start to take greater control over their schedule, their friendships and their emotions. It has to start somewhere.
Exercise could be the most significant tool in your son’s mental health toolkit. It helps relieve stress and release hormones. With Covid-19, many teens have stopped exercising and their mental health has suffered. It’s never too late to start an exercise routine.
There’s no one right approach here. You don’t have to run a marathon every weekend! Some teens prefer to lift weights with their friends. Others enjoy putting on their favorite playlist and jogging around the neighborhood. Playing basketball or soccer are great options too. The key is to be consistent.
Movies and TV shows have given counseling a bad rap. Counseling is not about lying on a couch, staring at the ceiling and relating all of your problems to your mom! Counseling is more about building a genuine relationship with a professional that can help you take positive steps in the direction you want to go.
Teen boys that come to therapy need help creating their mental health tool kit. They benefit from a place where they can talk about their friends, their stressors and goals. A counselor can help them devise a plan to cope with their struggles and accomplish their dreams.
If you are ready to improve your teens life, one of the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide counseling to both teens and adults for a variety of issues. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Being a parent can be one of the most exciting and rewarding jobs out there. Yet, it comes with its challenges. Parenting a teenager may bring even more struggles to the table. I am a mom of two middle school girls, and a therapist to teens and their parents by […]
Being a parent can be one of the most exciting and rewarding jobs out there. Yet, it comes with its challenges. Parenting a teenager may bring even more struggles to the table. I am a mom of two middle school girls, and a therapist to teens and their parents by trade. So, I get it.
As parents, we want to do the best job possible. We want our kids to be kind to others, have high self-esteem, succeed in school, be active, participate in extra-curricular activities, and the list goes on. It’s hard to keep up. So, maybe there are some things we can let go of. Below are my ideas on what those things could be. (I do believe these things are important, just maybe less important than healthy relationships and decreased conflict.)
#1. Choice of clothing or hairstyle. Teenagers are figuring themselves out. They want to be unique and express themselves. Sometimes they do this by choosing a style that is “a little out there,” or a hair color that makes us question their judgment. I say; as long as they are covering the parts that need covering, let them try things on for size. It’s not worth the battle.
#2. Checking Homework and Grades. I will admit to becoming obsessive about logging in and checking my kids’ grades at times. Obsessing, then nagging them is not helpful. I DO think we need to be aware of how our teens are doing in school. I also think we need to be there to help them. But, checking grades every day, and asking the same questions every day leads to conflict. Make a plan to check their grades weekly, or even better, mid-grading period. Then ask if they need help. Teenagers learn best through experience. Let them miss an assignment, and learn how it affects their grade. 
#3. Messy Rooms. OK, I am not saying we need to allow moldy towels to pile up or bugs to be crawling around. But, within reason, let your teenager be messy. Teens have a lot on their minds. Their minds are not fully developed. Being tidy and organized might not be a priority to them at the moment. It doesn’t mean they will grow up to be slobs.
#4. Being Cranky. As we all know, teenagers can be moody. They may give you the silent treatment, or answer you gruffly in the morning. Don’t take it personally. Hormones, social media, school stress, and even a pandemic may be on their minds. Be ready to listen when they are ready to talk, but don’t force it.
***Side Note: If you notice significant changes in mood, signs of depression & anxiety, or evidence of self-harm, please reach out to professionals.
If you are looking for support or help for your teenager, counseling may the answer. Family counseling, group and individual therapy for teens, or parental coaching are great options. Learning to let go of some things can be helpful, but difficult to implement on our own. Also, trained professionals best address mental health issues.
If you are ready to find help with parenting a teen, or find support for your teenager, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide therapy to people of all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX, follow these three steps:
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services in areas including counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, men’s issues, women’s issues, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, trauma counseling, family therapy, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Cheri Locke, MA, LPC At times parenting a child or teen with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, ADHD or ADD, can be overwhelming. As parents you may struggle to understand your child. As a couple, there may be consistent differences in how to handle situations with your child that may lead to conflict. The whole […]
At times parenting a child or teen with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, ADHD or ADD, can be overwhelming. As parents you may struggle to understand your child. As a couple, there may be consistent differences in how to handle situations with your child that may lead to conflict. The whole family can experience a disruption that leaves everyone feeling frazzled and emotionally drained. However, there are some things that you can do to provide stability and calmness in your home. These things will also help your relationship with your child and with your partner. Children with ADHD often experience just as much frustration as their parents. They want to be able to “do” all of the things that are asked of them. Remember, children with ADHD typically have deficits in some executive functioning which include the ability to organize, complete tasks, think or plan ahead. Parents can learn to manage and guide their children in positive ways, assisting in areas where their child experiences the most difficulties.
It is really important you get to know your child’s routine and understand how long she/he needs for homework, to get ready, etc. Being rushed is sure to trigger a meltdown or a fight. You can constructively allow your child time to work at their pace. For example, asking my child to get ready in 20 minutes in the morning does not work and leads to everyone feeling flustered. I know that he needs time to ease into the morning so 45 minutes to an hour works better for him and sets the tone for a better day. You can also set them up for success. Use timers and clocks around the house to alert them when their time is over. For example, if you tell them they have 15 more minutes of “play” time, set a timer to signal the end of time for an easy transition.
Structure and routines are very helpful no matter the age. Find a routine that works well for your child and try to stick to it. When they know what to expect it helps them function better. Also, the older a child becomes, the more help they need staying organized and planning, especially for school. As parents, we tend to think that because they are maturing we can step back. However, parents and kids end up more frustrated because homework is not done and/or turned in. The entire school experience can become daunting. Ask your teen what they feel will help them best. You can add simple solutions to your daily routine such as a whiteboard, a planner, daily to-do lists, or daily check-in’s. The teen years are not the time to let your kid figure it out on their own. With a little help in organization and planning, children can be successful.
Creating a space for your child can look different to every person that reads this blog. For some, it will mean creating a quiet space for your child to work. For others, it may mean carving out some positive time in your day to spend with your child. It may also mean allowing them to run at the soccer field to burn off some energy. Whatever this looks like for your family, take it. Who knows, it may even be a combination of the three!
I see many couples that often experience some issues with parenting. Recently, several couples have brought up issues related to parenting a child with ADHD. I believe it is important for couples to be united in helping their children. Here are just a few simple steps you can take today.
As parents of a child with ADHD it is important that you educate yourself. The needs of children with ADHD are different and cannot be “lumped” in or compared to those of other children. Read books or articles that are from reputable providers. Ask your child’s doctor if they have any resources. If your child is old enough, ask she/he what they feel will work best. Sometimes, our kids can offer some of the best insight on what will help them personally.
One thing I often hear from couples in session is they fight over their children and are at opposite ends of how to handle the situation. You are not going to agree on every parenting aspect, especially when it comes to parenting a child with ADHD. However, you can talk about it and come up with a solution that best serves your child. The last thing we want is to make your child feel that they are the cause of their parents fighting. Remember, this is a diagnosis. Your child is not intentionally “not listening.” Find a way to work with your partner, even if you need to compromise a bit!
If I haven’t said it yet, parenting a child with ADHD can be exhausting. If you are frustrated, the best thing you can do for yourself and your child is take a break. Let your partner take over. Repeat as often as needed. This helps keep things more calm and allows more positivity to emerge. When we are positive, children are more positive. It does not feel good to anyone involved to give or hear constant negativity or consequences. Allow yourself the space to see what your child did that day that you can give them praise.
As a parent, you can help your child overcome their daily challenges, help to increase calm and structure, and learn to respond in more positive ways. It is important to recognize what your child needs to be successful. For some, it is gentle reminders to raise their hands to speak, while for others, it may be reminding them to actually speak up for themselves rather than daydreaming. ADHD is not a one size fits all and it is not always the child that cannot sit quietly in his/her chair. Remember, at times we as parents do become mentally and physically drained from the daily demands of parenting a child with ADHD. If you feel that you are struggling, please reach out for help.
If you are ready to learn techniques to help your child and your relationship, the therapists at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch can help! We provide parenting related services as well as counseling services to all ages. To begin counseling in Katy, TX follow these three steps: Contact our office to set up an appointment or to get more information about parenting therapy Meet with one of our compassionate therapists Find ways to help your child with ADHD through counseling!
Here at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch we offer counseling services for people of all ages including: eating disorder treatment, depression treatment, women’s issues, treatment for anxiety, couples and marriage counseling, counseling for kids, counseling for young adults, teen counseling, family therapy, men’s issues, trauma counseling, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Counseling Center today!
By: Melissa Barton, MA, LPC-S Everyone experiences anxiety from time to time, but there are times where it can feel hard to manage. The symptoms of anxiety may get overwhelming. Feelings, thoughts, or physical symptoms are the main ways that anxiety can rear its head. Feelings can include stress, nervousness, worry, and irritability. Thoughts tend […]
Everyone experiences anxiety from time to time, but there are times where it can feel hard to manage. The symptoms of anxiety may get overwhelming. Feelings, thoughts, or physical symptoms are the main ways that anxiety can rear its head. Feelings can include stress, nervousness, worry, and irritability. Thoughts tend to be negative. Some physical symptoms of anxiety are muscle tension, trouble sleeping, and raised heart rate.
One population that is frequently affected by anxiety is adolescents. The adolescent brain is still developing, and managing the symptoms of anxiety can be hard. This can make it more difficult to deal with daily stressors such as school and family or peer conflict. Environmental issues, including the COVID-19 pandemic, also affect adolescents, and can increase their anxiety.
“Adolescents who are dealing with anxiety may have trouble with school performance, struggle socially, or even engage in risky behaviors, like abusing drugs or alcohol. “
At any given time in the United States, 25.1% of teens ages 13-18 deal with anxiety disorders, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (https://adaa.org/about-adaa/press-room/facts-statistics). This may seem like a high percentage, and can be concerning for families. Parents who see their teen suffering from anxiety may feel helpless or anxious themselves.
Recently, the world as we know it has changed. Parents are working from home. Teenagers are engaging in online learning. Many people, particularly the young, feel isolated. Mental health issues, including anxiety, can increase due to the current state of affairs. Although stress is high and risk factors are present, there is hope. Parents can provide support for their teens who are suffering from anxiety, whether it is during a crisis, or during day to day life.
The value of feeling heard, especially for a teenager, is often underestimated. The simple act of allowing your child to talk to you freely is so important. Forcing teens to talk is not beneficial, but creating a comfortable space, free of judgment, where teens feel safe to share, can have a positive effect.
Assure your teen that it is normal to feel anxious at times, especially when there are stressors present. Acknowledge the feeling without dismissing it. It can be helpful for teens to know that you experience struggles and anxiety at times also. Brainstorm ideas together on how to manage the feelings. Some ideas may include talking it out, journaling, practicing yoga, taking walks, and enjoying time with family or pets.
Electronics including phones, tablets, computers, and video games can be easy escapes from stress, but too much screen time can cause disconnection and irritability. Social media can also be a source of stress for adolescents. Taking scheduled breaks from electronics to relax, spend time with family, or focus on other projects may help to decrease overall anxiety.
Anxiety can be made worse when we do not take care of our minds and bodies. It is helpful to get enough quality sleep, eat healthy foods, drink water, get exercise, and connect emotionally with others. No one is perfect, but striving to practice healthy habits as parents, and encourage them in teens can help decrease anxiety.
Although parents can support their children by listening, validating, and setting boundaries, professional help may also be essential. Trained professional counselors who have experience working with teens and teen mental health issues can assist in processing the causes of anxiety, and can educate on mental health in general. Therapists also assist teens in building healthy coping skills.
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy and Family Counseling can help adolescents and their families find relief from anxiety and its symptoms. The therapists at the Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch are trained in working with teens, families, and the mental health issues that may arise for this population.
There is hope! Many people find relief and build coping skills that can last a lifetime when they seek out professional help. Please do not hesitate to reach out today and call for help!
Our counseling services at The Counseling Center at Cinco Ranch include counseling for children and adolescents dealing with depression, self-injury, and school issues. We also provide services for family therapy, counseling for young adults, trauma counseling, anxiety treatment, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, depression treatment, and group counseling. Our therapists strive to regularly post blogs with helpful information on a variety of mental health topics. To learn more about our therapists and our counseling services, please reach out to the Center today!